He just might not be into you if....

Okay, since the movie and book of "He's Just Not That Into You" use some pretty worldly suggestions (if he's not sleeping with you, if he's sleeping with someone else, etc), I decided to benefit my LDS single girlfriends by writing the book from a Mormon standpoint. I also decided to incorporate Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck If..." into my post, to make it easily understandable.

I also will preface this by letting you know that I am taking every single one of these examples from my own personal life. These scenarios actually occurred, and you are getting them straight from the source. You will see how much guys really are not into me. HAha...

Let's have a contest to see who can list the most boys I am referring to here. Please do not comment about it for the world to see, just email me. :)

1. That boy in your Singles' Ward might not be into you if....
He holds your hand on a date and you've been out several times, you're soulmates, he compliments you all the time, but then holds the hand of a different girl on a different date the next day and marries her.

2. That boy who is your 7th roommate might not be into you if.....
He gets in tickle fights with you every night until 4am, grills you on what kind of mother you'll be and how many kids you want, then mentions Shelly is on his list of girls to date, then tells Sharon she's not pretty enough or book smart enough for him even though they're dating, and only asked you out ONCE, after a few other girls turned him down.

3. That boy who you went out with several times in one week might not be into you if....
he has a girlfriend.

4. On a side-note, that girlfriend might not be that into you if she tells you that you are horrible at leading the music in Sacrament Meeting.

5. That boy at work might not be into you if....
He sees you going to fill up your water bottle in the break room and you can count down the seconds before he'll show up so you two can talk and he can fill up his water bottle (even if it's not empty) every single time, stops at your desk to tell you what happened to him that day, chats online with you for hours and writes you notes during meetings, then doesn't call you when you give him your phone number when he quits.

6. That boy you met at a party might not be into you if....
You meet up for lunch every day on campus and start dating, kissing, holding hands, asking what to get each other for Christmas, and then tells you he doesn't want to be exclusive and you don't get the Christmas gift or go out with him again.

7. That boy you've been dating might not be into you if....
He hasn't kissed you or held your hand, won't hug you at the end of dates, you pick out his furniture, know things about him nobody else does, best friends, talk all day every day until you get together to do something, he calls you when he's traveling, forgets your birthday, makes you move over for another girl to sit by him on the couch, and tells you he's just not that into you.

8. That boy you rebounded on from #7 might not be that into you if....
You get pretty close, he tells #7 to treat you better and that what he did was wrong, wants to go to movies with you alone, then texts a girl 10 years his junior while on a date with you and disses your dog.

9. That boy you rebounded on from #8 might not be that into you if....
He tells you you're hot, that you have a singing voice to get to men's hearts, makes sure you'll be at activities before he goes, invites you to attend Temple Prep since that's where he goes for fun, invites himself over for Sunday dinner then says no when you invite him, leaves his jacket at your house after choir even though it's -35 degrees outside, comes back to get it that night, and STILL HAS NOT ASKED YOU OUT.

10. That boy you only refer to as a superhero might not be that into you if....
He invited you to a bonfire but had a girlfriend, escorted you to Relief Society, asked politely to sit with you in Sacrament Meeting, got a fortune cookie about the happiness he would find with you, compliments your voice after singing hymns and your prayer after offering the invocation, doesn't show up to volleyball after he mentioned he might show up, and STILL HAS NOT ASKED YOU OUT. GET OVER IT. He's not into you.



I know it all seems so crystal clear when you're looking at my problems. Let's see if you find similarities here to help you in your own quest to find the one guy who is worth it to you because he is TOTALLY into you. And girls remember, you are NOT the exception. You are the RULE.

For a moment, I was Lois Lane.

Picture her with blonde hair, and that is ME! Yesterday, Dan Dan Superman came to my ward and offered to escort me to Relief Society. Uhh, what? You are wonderful. I felt like I was wrapped in his cape and we were flying through the church. He asked if I will be at volleyball on Tuesday and said he might come for it. Sigh.

You might think I'm getting my hopes up, but I assure you, I am NOT. I saw the greatest movie of all time on Saturday and believe you me, I know that Superman is just not that into me. I am totally okay with this. Just because he's not into me doesn't mean I can't look at him, right? Also, I am fully aware that I will never ever ever have a chance with this man and I am completely okay with that as well.

FYI, this was his last girlfriend:
Okay, that is Megan Fox from Transformers, but I swear they are identical. I'm okay with this. I have accepted it. I cannot wait for volleyball night.

Hubba, Hubba, Hubby tag

I was tagged from Kim's post for Husband Tag.

Neither of us has a husband, so Kim changed the questions around a bit so that we could do a fairytale post about what we wish would happen instead of what has happened. Although I already know I am the future Mrs. John Krasinski, I thought this would be fun.

1. Where will you meet? He will come to my door as a response to hearing about my facebook confession to daydreaming about it. I will drop what I'm doing and he will kiss me.

2. How long will you date before you get married? Oh THAT'S why I'm not married! You have to DATE first!!! Uhhh probably three weeks. That's how my parents did it. Worked great for them.

3. Where will he propose? At a gas station halfway between here and the studio where they film the Office. It will be raining and I will give him a hard time for making me drive a little farther than he had to. Then he'll get down on one knee.

4. Where will you get married? Mt. Timpanogos Temple.

5. How long will you be married? For eternity duh. (Kim's answer was good enough to keep)

6. What will be your favorite feature of his? Just one? Oh man! Uhh his smile!!!

7. What will his best quality be? His sense of humor. I do realize I have an edwardcullenesque obsession with him. It's all in good fun... unlike the Twilight readers... they are for real... and it scares me.

8. Will he have a nickname for you? I'm not allowed to share it.

9. What will his favorite food be? Big tuna sandwiches. or ham and cheese.

10. Favorite sport? Dunderball

11. Where will you have your first kiss? in my office after a party.

12. Who will say I love you first? He will, in the parking lot, right before kissing me in my office after the party.

13. What will you like to do together? watching movies, going out to eat, raising our 10 beautiful children

14. Will you have any kids? Oh wow! What a coinkadink! I'm already painting the nursery!

15. What will his favorite music be? anything we sing together.

16. What will you admire most about him? The way he can make me smile even on a rough day, how he can make me cry more than anyone on the earth (not hurtful tears), making me laugh, and his sweet heart. I love this man.

He's Just Not That Into Me?

So, two years ago almost exactly, I was crushing on a boy named Brady and Carli had a crush too. We were convinced that these boys just had a few things holding them back from dating us, such as shyness or a (cough, cough) girlfriend. Certainly they liked us and wanted to date us. That was obvious.....

Not so obvious to our female, estrogen-based (il)logical minds, however, was the fact that if they were actually into us, they would be dating us.

I had heard about a book from my friend Tamara at work. She read it and told me it changed her life. She changed all her perceptions and then got married soon thereafter because she stopped wasting her time with boys who weren't worth her time and Andrew came along. The rest is history.

I told Carli about this book and we checked it out from the Orem Public Library. It was seriously fantastic. If you can edit out the f-words and skip the chapters about (cough, cough) physical relations, then it's a great read. Carli and I read it out loud to each other and our parents, and made some realizations along the way. The book is written in a format where women submit letters to the author, telling him that their guy wants to date them except for one little detail. The letters are made up by the author, but he answers them in the book as well. Oh man, think of ANY excuse you have EVER made for why a guy who is supposedly into you is not dating you. He wrote about it in the book. It was hilarious and hard-to-take at some points.

I even found myself saying, "No, but he REALLY is shy!!!" and my family laughed at me. That's exactly what these women are saying in their letters. The author was a writer on Sex and the City and was so sick of hearing these excuses from all the female employees there. He wasn't just bugged at the women complaining, he was bugged that they did not think they deserved more.

The book is a booster too, because he basically says that we have wasted our time with these barneys and that if a guy wants to date a girl, no matter how shy, busy, taken, stupid, ridiculous he is, he will go for it. So, we need to just look for those guys. The guys who actually do ask us out and date us are actually into us, and guess what? Nobody else is! Deal with it and move on!

Okay, so Carli and I LOVED this book and I highly recommend it for any single girl. It really changed how I perceive guys. Instead of holding on after rejection and taking months to get over a guy, I drop it like it's hot if he's not making any moves and I move on. My last... crush... lasted a long time and I did hold on for a long time, but once we finally talked about it and I found out he was not into me, I let go and it only took weeks to get over it. It's not worth it, you know?

OKAY, the WHOLE point of this rant is that they have made a movie (PTL!!!) based on the book, and it comes out on FRIDAY!!!!!!!! I CANNOT STINKIN' WAIT!