Solemnisation

I, TBS, take you TCN, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward til death do us part.

This was what took place 3 years ago...... 3 wonderful years ago...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DEAR

When Boredom Strikes

This is what happens when you have too much time in your hands and got nothing better to do.....

Sorry, Mum.... I know you've told me umpteen not to play with my food but...... this is soooooooo irresistable.

My alphabet pasta and animal pasta.....

Hmmm....... how about one to 'advertise' my blog.........

or better still...... an advertisement for my blog and also animal conservation......

Hahahaa......... now into the pot they go and straight to my tummy! Yum!!!

The Day The "Kacat" Flee For Their Lives...

After spending almost a month out of my Singapore home, I returned to find a notice pasted at the lift lobby. It seemed that the HDB management will be doing a fogging of the rubbish chute the next day. We were told to close the chute window.

The next day, I got home quickly after getting my groceries. I wanted to see how the fogging was done and the effect. I have a pretty rough idea why they needed to do the fogging... not for dengue but rather for the pesky roaches that I have long declared war upon.

I was a little late as they have just fogged the chute when I got home. Then I saw smoke coming out of my rubbish chute door. Oh goody... die you pesky roach.... DIE! Next thing I know was that roaches were coming out from under my sink. Luckily I had some water boiling and I was happily giving them HOT showers. Then I started to hear the upstair guy whacking the floor silly. Next thing was shrieks and screams from around the block. If I didn't know better, I'd think that a serial killer is on the loose.

It felt so much like Passover during Moses' time. In this case, there is no escape for the roaches. Only DEATH!

At the end of the day, I counted that I have 'bathed' 32 cockroaches.

I heaved a sigh of relieve knowing that the entire roach clan had been eliminated..... but I was wrong. That night, I found one lingering around my stove. It was another hot shower for that fella. My vow, I am going to do my own fogging the next day.

Off to the supermarket for a can of aerosol and I begin my strategy. I cleared out all my food stuffs and items from the kitchen cabinet and started the fogging myself. Then I locked out my kitchen and "no-eye-see". After about 2 hours, I return back to see that another clan wiped out. It was then cleaning up and washing up EVERYTHING.

It has really been hectic and tiring but satisfied. I haven't seen one crawling since and I hope that they don't return at least for a week. How long do you suppose for a roach egg to hatch?

All Government Offices ARE THE SAME

Hujan Emas Di Negara Orang, Hujan Batu Di Negara Sendiri. So NOT true!

When we first arrive in Singapore, I was quite amazed by the efficiency and effectiveness of the Singapore Govt offices. Our permits were done and delivered as on the promised date. Our transfer of utility bill and tenancy agreement was done with no hassle and even their banks were most helpful. We manage to waltz into the bank and open an account in less than 5 minutes.

So, when this time round, when we were asked to go the MoM (Ministry of Manpower) on our own to get our permits renewed, we didn't fret over the hassle. Who would have thought that you'd face inconveniences when all these while it has been so efficient and effective. We have our complete documents, instructions and we were to prepare a passport-sized photo.

Nincompoop hubi, left his stack of photos back in Malaysia. I wonder why does he like to keep EVERYTHING in Malaysia??? I had my passport photo kept in my purse for emergencies just like this. Ain't I the smart one! *do the proud look* *bravo, bravo* *clap, clap, clap*

Happily, we went to the MoM Office the next morning. Hubi had to have his picture taken, of course. They do provide a photography studio at the MoM office. How convenient. =D

When we submit in our document for processing, the girl behind the counter told me, "Miss R, you got another photo, R? This one cannot use R cos the background is blue. We need it white so tat we can scan it into the computer. Otherwise blah blah blah blah blah......."

What the???!!! You said passport-sized photograph. You din say nothing specific about the passport photo. It's a passport-photo. I thought it is internationally standardized!!!

What to do.... kena liao! I had to have my picture taken at the MoM photograph shop and pay S$6 for 4 pieces of passport-sized with WHITE BACKGROUND as required by the Singapore Government Office. Cilakak!! *scolds the most vulgar words that has never been heard before*

So, lesson of the day is ALL GOVERNMENT OFFICES AROUND THE WORLD ARE THE SAME. They will somehow make you pay $$$$$ to their appointed agent to squeeze money outta ya. Or else how government office want to survive wor...



Oh, btw, can u urm.... forget about the part where I had copies of my photo in my purse..... Just scratch that, ok..... That'll be great...... *quickly hide face and shy away*

Lifts

Tell me if what I understand is wrong or I have mental problems, ok.....

The HDB flat that i stay in has 3 lifts servicing. 2 for normal people use and 1 for the disabled.

Say, u are waiting for a lift at the lift lobby. There is another person (note that its singular, not personS) waiting there for the lift as well. Two of the lifts decided to land at almost the same time. The guy who was waiting earlier hop into the first lift and what do you do??

Option 1:
You wait for the other lift and go to your floor, afterall, it is only slow by a few seconds.....

Option 2:
You enter the lift with the guy and go to your floor....


If you choose Option 1, then i must have mental problems. I don't see sharing a lift with another person a problem. We all MUST have shared a lift at one time or another.

If you choose Option 2, then you face the stare that I got from the guy who was waiting there. I don't know what's his problem but he gave me the feeling like I should have taken the other lift.

Is it just me or do Singaporeans just don't like to share????

Urm... the same scenario happened again today but I was the one waiting first and the other lady just didn't want to enter after I entered the lift and waited for the other lift.

Now, it makes me think.... am I that fierce looking??? or do I have a lable on my forehead that says I'm a cannible.

Sigh...... I simply just don't understand Singaporeans.

Singapore Signage

One look at this sign and it looks pretty common.

Look at it closer and you would notice something to think about.

You have:

"No Smoking" - you can't smoke here.
"No Littering" - keeping the place clean.
"No Food or Drinks" - in line with keeping the place clean, thus, no eating or drinking. Logical.

Opps.... what is this?? "No Silence"??? Urm.... does it means that you have to be NOISY here???

AUUUGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Super Duper Frust!!!!!

I have just finished an article and guess what... my connection went dead and half the article is not saved......


CCCRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!!! *sob sob*


Now, I remembered why I dun blog so much. SIGH......

An Experience

Tadaa.... I'm back again.....


Ok..Ok.. stop throwing those tomatoes n rotten fruits....


I know I have long abandoned this blog.... been trying to revive but blame it on pure laziness.... As I always say there is NO CURE FOR LAZY PEOPLE (fullstop).


Anyways, the recent Great Singapore Sale is on and also Malaysians get to enjoy 50% on attractions. Today, we went on a 'touring spree' with hubi's ex-secretary(JW), who was visiting with her hubi and their 3 kiddos.


First stop, Singapore Flyer. Upon arrival, we were so busy with the tickets discounts and queries, I totally forgot about the Singtel promotion. Dang!!!!! It was said that the first 500 customer who flashes their handphone using Singtel, would get FREE rides. Double DANG!!!


Reason we were so busy with the tickets queries and discounts was because.... my nincompoop hubi didn't wanna listen to his smart, intelectual wifey. I have earlier informed hubi about the great discount and that we can pay in Ringgit on those attractions..... provided we enter Singapore with a disembarkation card. NOT WITH THE PERMIT!!!!! But hubi INSISTED to enter with the permit. His reason, he was afraid that it would be very ma-fan(hassle). What hassle???!! What's so difficult to just fill in the disembarkation form?? Men... I tell you.. *shakes head*

Husbands, please... please... listen to your wife. There is a Chinese saying that goes something like 'If you do not listen to your wife, you would not be properous'.

So, we let JW settle her tickets first and when it was our turn, we just wave-wave our passports and the counter girl fell for it thinking we got our white cards as well and we got to enter at half price. We paid in Sing though. Haha....

Luckily it was quite a clear day and we can see rather far. We even saw Batam Island (PCK, anyone??). Mental note: Must get hubi to bring me to that island one day.... Let's see when that 'One Day' would come... teehee.... I will not elaborate on the view. I would say it is quite worth the ticket value provided with the 50% discount. Nyah-na-nah.....

The ride took about an hour and after the ride, we took the lift down to the lobby. This is what the title was all about. Wrong move. We got stuck in that lift. It was pitch dark and I can't even see my own hand. Even my handphone, which was rather bright (I thought) in the cinema couldn't even 'beam' enough light. It barely shine enough light to locate the alarm buzzer.

I was thinking to myself, how long would help come to us. We would probably be stuck here for at least half an hour. Surprise!! Surprise!! When I pressed the alarm, IMMEDIATELY we heard a friendly voice over the intercom asking us what seemed to be the problem. We told the man that we are stuck in the lift with no lights on. He assured us that his men are on their way and asked us which floor are we located. We looked at the screen and informed the man that we are in between Level 2 and Level 1. Next question that came along was if we have any children with us. Before we could even answer that question, the lift door opened. It didn't take them 5 minutes to get us out of the lift.

We were still standing around like dungus, rather blur and quite surprised at their efficiency. Well, at least, I was the dungu who still stood there rather blur and quite surprised at their efficiency. When we stepped out, they apologize frantically and asked us if we are ok. Unfortunately, they didn't offer us a drink to calm the nerves.

Y'know what, I should have been a bit of a drama queen and pretend fainting or something and maybe they might just offer us some free lunch or drinks. Sigh....

Then, a thought passed, if the same scenario were to happen in my home country, would I be saved in such a short time??? Well, fellow Malaysians, please comment.

Volvo Ocean Race

Way back in January, I had the opportunity to visit the prestigious Volvo Ocean Race. It was held in Sentosa Island, Singapore. Thanks to two very influential people, I get to hang out and enjoy back stage privilege – my big brother and my hubi.


Actually, hubi gave me more privilege as being his wife; I get to have a pass on my own. I get to hang out in their booth which has a mock interior of a boat – the very same that they live and sail in.



I get to enjoy the cool aircon and super high-class portable toilet which is air-conditioned. Talk about luxury! You even get to see a short documentary while waiting AND during your business deals. I would have wanted to take a photo of the toilet but... paiseh (shy)... they were a few ang-mohs (westerners) around.

Oh, I mustn’t forget... it was also one of my lucky day as a taxi driver gave me the most pricey present. An OAKLEY sunglasses! Someone left it behind and a happen to sit on it. Pity the guy who was so careless...

I tried on their grinder challenge! It was tiresome but fun. Here’s a short video that hubi took... but the nincompoop forgot to set the resolution and ended with the low-res video.... Sigh.......



In case any of you wanna follow the ocean race, you can log on to http://www.volvooceanrace.org/.

F-R-U-S-T

Ok people, this is pure rants n venting out my frustration and anger time!

Look, I have no qualms whatsoever against my MIL. She can come n go as she wishes. She can even have her son to herself, if she wants and he willing. I don't mind at all.

But don't come and complain about MY things. Eh, halo.. where were you when I was in a delimma when choosing my things. Urm... nothing big and fancy lah... but still those are my stuffs that I bought!


First, she complain about my senduk (ladle). It was given by my mum. It is tupperware but oh no... she sez 'It's plastic'. Fine... go get a stainless steel ladle that can scoop a bowling ball out of the cauldron of a witch's brew.

Next, it was my leftover vegetables. Nothing much about it... I cook for two not ten people. There's bound to be some leftovers. For example: I bought a punnet of portabello mushroom. Yes... the expensive one. And have some leftovers. I sealed it up with cling wrap and kept it dry and nicely told hubi to get his mom to cook it when I'm not around.

Guess what. After a week and a half, I returned to see that mushroom still sitting in the fridge. Pitiful and heart wrenching. I wonder maybe.... just maybe, she somehow or other has a deep, deep secret in her heart that she secretly wished that it would turn into gold nuggets anyday now!

Gasp!!!!

Iamseeingfireandnotdeadpeoplebecausekfcfriedchickenislosingtomcdonaldchickenidunnowhy..................

Now, today, out of pure good heart, I helped out in the kitchen and guess what. She complained about the eggs that I bought. Asked me who eats those eggs and I told her eggs are eggs, everybody eats them. Do you stamp mark who eats what in your fridge and kitchen??? Call me sloppish but I'm way too lazy to mark down who eats what bits. Anyway, as if I would buy rotten expired eggs to consume. She must have thought that since I'm allegic to raw eggs, I don't eat them... I'm the witch who scoops eggs boiled in Snow White's witch's apple pot with a PLASTIC ladle and feeds it to her son. Just because she cracked one egg and the yolk is not whole. Maybe you dunno how to crack eggs! Huh!!?! Ever thought of that?!?!?!? You are suppose to just break the shell and gingerly crack it open.... NOT like you squeeze the orange to make orange juice.... egg juice anyone?


But then, if she brought along her beloved Maggi Abalone Sauce (no offence to Maggi - it just so happens that it is her favourite) that has an expired stamp dated Nov 2008, it is ok all because she has kept it in the fridge before she comes over and it is now sitting on the counter and is poured into dishes that she cook and we are all consuming it with bacteria happily breeding in our tummies.

Aii.... this is when I say, "A mother's love has no comparison". No matter if you feed her son with a hand-slain dragon's meat with a pocket knife, you are just trying to kill her son. While she feeds scums from the back drain that smells like a thousand farts is wholesome to goodness food.

Sigh.... Frust over....

April Fool 2009

Ai..... For the first time in my 30-urm years life

I DID NOT pull an April Fool's prank

Issit that i'm getting old? or it's just that April Fool's Day is not that much fun anymore?

As a matter of fact, I HAD WARNED hubi about it first thing in the morning. What in the world was I thinking??? He was the best person to fool.... opps... urm... he is a very innocent victim who always fall for my pranks... there, that sounded much better.

I woke up this morning feeling all frust-up for not pulling any pranks out. Could someone please turn back the time....... pretty pleassssssssssssee......

More Cow Stories

A Singapore Government Corporation

You have two cows.
You set up a Investment Corporation with over a
thousand staff to invest the cows.
Nobody knows how many cows you actually have.


A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu


A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to
you.
You charge others for storing them.


AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You worship them


A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them
You claim full employment and high bovine
productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the
numbers arrested.


A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month and milk themselves.


A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where
they are.
You break for lunch.


A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called
‘Cowkimon’ and market them world-wide.


TRADITIONAL CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

Cow Story

Sometime last week, hubi brought me to this place to have ice-cream. While waiting for our ice-cream to be served, we had some laughs on some scribbles on the wall (they have a board for you to doodle on and also a few huge floor-to-ceiling boards filled with their menu of flavors). Among 1 of their 'reading material' on the table is a joke-tablet on cows. I like this the most considering where I come from.

I know it's a bit blurry cos of the reflection. For your convenience:

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per

litre. Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60

or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your

mind again and now want RM1.20. The buyer decided you

can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes

from recycled cows or the cow urine instead. Your two cows

retire together with the Prime Minister.

Kiasu-ism at its Kiasu-est

Being in Kiasuland, I am always prepared be to astounded by the Kiasu-ness of the Kiasunites. Nothing prepared me for what happened when I was grocery shopping one fine morning. It was a really jaw-dropping, never-to-be-seen (hopefully) scenario.

I was beginning to get tired of grocery shopping on a daily basis. That fine morning, I told myself that I would get enough 'stock' to last for at least a couple of days... and so, I got myself a pushcart, which I normally don't, as it can be quite a hassle to wheel it round a jammed-packed supermarket. Anyway, there I was trying to push the cart and at the same time trying to be considerate as not to block others from shopping.

Here come the 3 stooges. Three stooges - cos it was a family of 3. There is Papa Stooge, Mama Stooge and a teenage SYT Stooge. Let's leave teenage SYT Stooge out of da picture cos she was basically non-existance in the following conversation that took place.


Location: In a beverage aisle where the width of the aisle can accommodate 2 wheelcarts be pushed parallelly. Unfortunately, a stack of stock was placed along the aisle and thus blocking a portion of the aisle.

Papa Stooge 'parked' his pushcart SMACK, RIGHT NEXT TO THE PILE OF STOCK and decided to STOP right there to check out what the sales promoter had just push in.


Papa Stooge (talking to the sales promoter): Hey! A new stock of Milo had just arrived. Are they new stock?

Sales Promoter: Yep... Just arrived.

Papa Stooge: But the shelf is already fully filled with Milo.

Sales Promoter: Yes. But it will clear very fast due to promotion. (There was a promotion going for Milo - cheaper by a few dollars).

Papa Stooge: Hey, Mama Stooge! Check the expiry on that cart and see when is it due. Ours is due in 2011. (They have obliviously taken a can of it)

Sales Promoter: Those on the shelves are newer stock.

Mama Stooge: It is due in 2010.

All this was taking place while the Stooges were blocking the entire aisle.

Papa Stooge (to Sales Promoter): I thought you said THIS is new stock. How come the expiry is earlier than those on the shelves? Then this is NOT new stock. You shouldn't say it is new stock.

Then Papa Stooge, Mama Stooge and teenage SYT Stooge, ALL walked away disgusted.

Me? I just stood there and witnessed the entire Kiasu show.

Why? Cos I stuck unable to cross that darn aisle. I can't turn around cos it was a jammed-packed supermarket, REMEMBER!

The Dog makes her C-H-O-I-C-E

Today, Mummy bought a fish. A threadfin (ma-yaw). When she cleans it, she found some eggs in the fish. Fried threadfin eggs... goody... its among our favorite dish... and its quite a big 'harvest' too.

This was the first time we ever offered fish roe to Duchess. She LOVED it. Action speaks louder than words. The clip below speaks for how much she WANTED fish roe...