of Strength and Chapters

"What's important is that we never stop believing that we can have a new beginning"


dare you find strength from the skies when all seems lost?

would you still stand tall through it all?

hold on when it hurts, and pick the pieces when it shatters?

would you?



do, please do.

*smiles*

because we're stronger than we let ourselves to believe, you and i.

and no matter how strong the current pulls us under, we'll drown; but live.

and the more it hurts, the stronger we become.

and as it continuously shatters, the wiser we are.



because we - yes we, you and i and them, right and left and front and back -
are made of steel when we choose to be to withstand all Elements.
and blessed with the Essence to feel and think our way through.


- no hope is ever lost.


"Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together"




(was going through old stuff - stumbled on this)

Goodnight =)

Never will it shine; everlasting.
For the day will always turn to night.
But do you not see the stars?
There is light amidst darkness.
Even if it is out of reach, even if it flickers.
It is there.

Too paramount a happening,
Too noble a being,
Too blithe a feeling,
Too deep a meaning.

Allow me reverence.
Beneath the skies that seem to stretch forever.
Facing the horizon where the earth and sky meet.
Forever at a distance.


Forevermore;
Forever yours.


Hm.

Robot turned Human.

Embracing.
It is a gift to feel.
So all this, is not taken for granted.
I know how much this means.

From the deepest of crevices to the highest of skies.
And equally as important, every little thing in between.
I know.

Forgive me.
That for this one night, i give in to this one gift.
(Not the one that comes with butterflies or a skip and a hop!)
The one that results in me hiding under the covers and away from all.

Boleh?

The moon is almost full.
(Close my eyes and pretend) - A million stars scattered across the sky.

Ingat?

Shadow me; as i sleep.

ohh

*aunty panggil tepi. asks question*

*seconds later, runs (okay, jalan laju lah) toward room*

"yaan! aunty ada ask you any weird questions?"

Yan; "no, why?"

*whispers to yan*

Yan; "kaklong! its obvious tahu tak. we can see it in your eyes"

oh.


tadi family sebelah terengganu singgah rumah.

Ngah; "siapa dia? for keeps! you're glowing. prettier each time i see you"

*smiles sheepishly then grinned*

oh lagi.


*just as i was about to post this*

*Liyana enters room*

Liyana; "telinga kaklina ada gatal gatal tak?"

"takde, kenapa?"

Liyana; "tadi kitorg semua duduk kat bawah bincang bincang pasal kenduri bila kaklina kahwin nanti"

"kitorg?"

Liyana; "mama kaklina, yan, liyana, afifah, aunty linda. semualah!"

(huit! mengumpat!!!)

double ohhhh~



don't have to say anything.
apparently every other part of me is doing it for me.
haha!


dah sudah sudah.

ngehh.

rindu~

Guess It May;

i can never be good at leaving.
never ever.
the hardest thing to do is to step away, step out, walk away.
when all i want to do is stay.

***

haa shh shh.

tak mahu post yang sedih sedih.
not yet anyway.
(huhu)

*sedang figure out a way not to post weird stuff~*

***

dikyan tagged!
(maaf, banyak pula kena tag. satu satu yea? hehe)

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down NO MATTER HOW silly it sounds.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.


1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" ... you say?
Glow - Nelly Furtado

2. How would you describe yourself?
Love Comes - The Posies
(haha! yes yes, gelak lah go ahead =P)

3. What do you like in a girl?
I Can't Tell You Why - Eagles

4. How do you feel today?
Stay - Estrella
(oh me oh my~ haha)

5.What is your life's purpose?
Sekedar Cerita - Parkdrive

6. What is your motto?
Rockstar - Nickelback
(haha! Wan if you're reading, shh! =P)

7. What do your friends think of you?
Try To Remember - Harry Belafonte
(yes, forgetful. i knowwww =P)

8. What do you think of your parents?
I've Got To See You Again - Norah Jones
(ohh yes i do. rindu rindu!!!!!)

9. What do you think about very often?
Permintaan Hati - Letto
(hoihhh!!)

10. What is 2 + 2?
Wish You Were - Kate Voegele

11. What do you think of your best friend?
Lover Boy - Queen
(hahaha! which one? =P)

12. What do you think of the person you like?
I'll Be There For You - The Rembrandts
(ha! itulah! suka sangat tengok Friends =P)

13. What is your life story?
Born To Try - Delta Goodrem

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Smooth - Santana, Rob Thomas

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Turn The World Around - Harry Belafonte
(mama! album favorite ma popular pulak bila shuffle untuk post ni. hehe)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
If I Fell In Love With You (Acoustic) - Maroon 5
(hohoho apakah.)

17. What will they play at your funeral?
Once Upon A December - Anastacia Soundtrack
(haha freaky!)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
I'm Feeling You - Santana, Michelle Branch
(hoi hoi no wrong ideas! hahaha)

19. What is your biggest fear?
Meninggalkan Aku Sendiri - Hujan
(hoho. close, so close)

20. What is your biggest secret?
Wish I - Jem

21. What do you think of your friends?
Seven Years - Norah Jones
(lyrics tak ada kaitan. but, seven years? and counting okay semua? =) )

22. What will you post this as?
Guess It May - Rosie Thomas

***

gila jiwang semua lagu pun.
hahaha!
gosh~

If The Rain Must Fall;

"Oh life can be strange
Good and bad in so many ways
And in time you will find
That things are not always what they seem"
-James Morrison

I've been re-reading my Red Book.
Oh yes.
Some things shouldn't be read by the public.
One hundred and thirty seven pages worth of emotions for the whole of this semester.

Who knew?
Life could turn 360 degrees in a blink of an eye.

Please.
I never saw it coming!

To have grown so far apart and so out of place.
Treated as if the very existence of my being...-
ahh, as if i never existed!

How could i have known?
That even then, things managed to turn around so bad,
they turn out feeling victimized.

I never saw it coming.
Friendships i held dear fell apart, as if it never had meaning.
As if it were never there.


Then,


Somewhere in the middle of the Red Book,
life turned around.

Came across the path of many;
so true and unmasked,
so honest and genuine.

Closer than i ever was to those i was close to before.
Both back home and here in Perak.
And gained new friends with deep levels of understanding as though it's been years.

I never saw all this coming.


To have lost.


And found :)




Jadi!


Everything happens for a reason, does it not?
And for all that it was worth, I'm glad it happened.
For all those crappy and hell-ish moments, I'm glad.

Because then,
I wouldn't be here now would i?
Wouldn't want to be anywhere else BUT here.

:)

"Oh well dreams can come true
If you know inside you really want them to...

...And nothing else can make me feel the way you do"
-James Morrison

and a very happy (un)birthday (to the rest of us) :)

a tribute to two ladies (sebab tua! :P) who has made life in Perak (and in general) so very very bearable.

through thick and thin.
through the storms,
and the rainbow in the very end.

terima kasih kamu kamu!
kerana menjadi payung setiap kali ribut!
menjadi tilam setiap kali jatuh!
menjadi inhaler setiap kali sesak nafas!

;)

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY!!

lina loves the both of you so very much!
:)

(maaf gambar tak dapat lawa kan betul betul, yea?)

blue blue skies;

it started with the rainbow after that terrible terrible storm.
half an arch at first.
a few rainy days after; a full arch.

no promises of hidden treasures at the end of the rainbow.
not one sight of it's pot of gold.
and! it still rained from time to time.
mini storms (if you may) here and there.

but it all started with the rainbow.





and today;
that.

:)


and tonight;
this.


:)

ohh ohh hush now.

butter fy, flutterbly~

it was never mine to understand in the first place.

why the house seemed rundown and torn apart.
and yet i entered; intrigued.

the house reeked a musty smell.
the floors creaked, threatening to break under my weight.
(and yes, i must say, i am heavy)
it seemed to sway with the breeze.
(breeze! not wind)
and yet i ventured deeper; furthermore.

and then i got stuck.
in a room full of sticky cobwebs.
and the more i struggled, the more stickier it became.

do i stand still?
or do i keep moving with hopes the strands might (one day) break free?


silly girl.
with silly hopes.
and silly dreams.


no, no wait.


silly dream.

macam tu lah.

setiap kali.


pergi, datang.
datang, pergi.

macam tu lah.
setiap kali.


jumpa, hilang.
hilang, jumpa.

macam tu lah.
setiap kali.


senyum, nangis.
nangis, senyum.

macam tu lah.
setiap kali.


sepuluh macam topeng pakai.
macam pakai sepuluh topeng.

macam tu lah.
setiap kali.


tapi.


semalam cabut satu satu.
biar nampak, bagi sedar.
mulut senyap, kepala angguk.
tapi nampak, tahu.


lepas tu mula lah.

hilang.
pergi.
-


tapi!

datang tiba tiba.
hmm, jumpa pulak.
pfft, senyum lagi.

on the floor;

shelves of steel,
parchments of chronicles and knowledge,
a kind ear,
and an all too comfortable shoulder.


witnesses (of).

the slap (not slip) and fall.

the truth.

the heart.

because this is me.

which is why i would always be here.

for you, for them, for all.



tapi...apa jadi kalau saya hilang?

ada?

ada!

sebab...

dari dulu lagi;
saya tak reti letak kepentingan diri sendiri lebih tinggi
dari kepentingan orang orang yang saya kisah dan kasih.

walaupun sakit.
walaupun saya rasa semua semua semua ini tidak adil.
tapi saya akan tetap ada disini tahu?
(because there's no where else to go)

untuk mendengar dan membebel (jika perlu). carilah, okay?
(i'm not going anywhere - trust me, i tried).

selalu!
betulkan niat.
biar lurus.
(but it still hurts).

it was sadness and disappointment.
as the facts slowly sank in
and seeped into my dream.
and i hated waking up.

because then.
i'd have to deal with the reality of it all.
mixed with the exaggerated feelings the dream held.

because then, i'd have to deal with it.

oh gosh.

but then again,
everything happens for a reason.



kan?

:)

random mambo jumbo

aha okay.

perlu a break now.

i can feel my brain oozing between my ears.
(haha! best kan image :P )

(tag dari afil & ikin & 47% of aina's :P)

Rules-

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.

OK…HERE WE GO:

lemme say, random/weird facts you say?

[one!] i sometimes feel like i'm an old soul in a young body.
it's either the way i think, or how i respond to things, or..ntah! even cikgu haq pernah mention how sometimes he feels like he's talking to a 100 year old woman. pfft, makes you practically ancient doesn't it cher? :P

[two!] i value honesty like nobody's business.
the truth! no matter how much it hurts, i always say. tak suka play games, go in circles. pening! straight out as it bloody is kan senang? yeap, the extent of how much i value honesty is not normally understood by many. you have something against me, bgtahu straight. senang. tak perlu through blogs or surveys or bulletins or status or cakap belakang. tak suka.

[three!] my cousins call me stuntgirl because i'm a clumsy git.
and it only, mostly, usually happens around them! yeap, running into walls at super high speed, falling down a flight of stairs superman style and God knows what else is something i'm known for amongst me cousins. which is why kamal agrees on calling me Lincat. :P

[four!] i will at times break into a dance.
and yes, usually suddenly. best :P

[five!] i think i know why i'm weird! (baru teringat)
kamal pernah TERjatuhkan a vase from the second floor, and it fell on my head. and the vase broke to pieces, and me? well, i'm (like) this. :D hahah! ye ye, lin si kepala batu like you don't know lah kan. hehe.

[six!] i love laughing.
at myself especially. and yes, i have a habit of greeting some people by laughing. aaannd it usually makes them think i'm laughing at them. haha! can't help it! can't explain it. hehe :P

[seven!] i cannot pose long enough to snap a decent picture.
(and by decent i mean not weird) which is why there's a LOT of weird pictures of me. tapi saya sukaa! so be it :)

ohh yeay seven! jomm sambung studyyy~

the number 13

"now, let us present to you our software that we have worked hard for, through our sweats and tears"
-Ismal

(literally)

kamu kamu kamu semua 15 orang mantap dan hebat!
and to the presenters Prof picked randomly, kudos!!
(presentation was awesome and amusing :P )

one whole semester of focusing mostly on this software development has paid off!
all worth it.
all those moments chasing deadlines.
staying up til 5am documenting, quality-assuring, programming.
sleepless nights, scary lab presentations etc etc.
emotions yang tak terkawal.
ALL worth it :)

puas!
bila tgk muka Prof tersenyum riang tgk software kitorg.
(aku still rasa dia suka kat Jo :P )

bila tgk muka Sis Azwin ada unsur unsur bangga.
(yeah, our team was a last minute one. so by the time we were about to begin our project, other teams were looonnng ahead of us)

bila GA Pakistan (Asfahanullah kot) thumbs up'ed us and said, "Great presentation!"
(padahal dia selalu kata lab presentations kitorg kurang banyak benda)

bila muka Kak Diyana senyum senyum masa Ismal present software.

puas :)

software engineers in the making?
;)

the girls!

the guys!

team 13 :)

over and done with!

so the number 13 isn't so unlucky anymore now, is it?

;)

maybe...

maybe it'll be like unwrapping a present.
(probably wrapped in several layers of wrapping paper)

no, no.
not where the wrappers are greedily ripped and torn apart.
no, no.
not like that.

this would be as if...

each step of (slowly) getting to the present,
is (umm) savoured.
slowly (ever so careful!) so that the wrappers don't get torn.
slowly, not rushed.
time?
time is of no essence. apparently.

and maybe...
(at the very end of it all)

i may not like the present.
it may not even be for me.
it wasn't even me unwrapping it.
yeap. that was me watching from a distance.

or!

it's one of the best i've ever received.
and yes, it is my name on the card.
and i can (proudly) say,
i took my own sweet time unwrapping
and well well, look what i've got here.

:)

ni semua!
semua sebab mimpi tolong yan unwrap present.
and koyak sikit.
and yan nangis.
tee hee :P

dance, dance!

lya: babe! i think i saw you! you tengah jog eh? Hee rindu.

lya: I'm goin back home! I saw you dance hahah!

lya: At first i was like "lin kah?", and then you danced..confirm!


dance like noone's watching, i always say.


(except this time kantoi dengan ikin who was right beside me
and lya who was on the road on the way home)

:P

:)

mana ada saya tipu diri sendiri, encik Dude.

jika semalam saya cakap saya tak tahu;
betul! saya memang tak tahu.
dan jika saya cakap saya baik sahaja;
saya baik sahaja.

saya tak pandai bendung perasaan.
lagi lagi bahagia (yang amat) dan sebaliknya (yang amat).

jadi,
jangan risau.
pandangan ke kanan semalam hanya pandangan.
bukan renungan.
jadi, jangan risau.

:)

I think life is very fair,
it's just that people make life harder for themselves.
There are a lot of chances for good things to happen,
it just depends on how the person chooses to see it
(whether or not they choose to see it).
It's how you choose to deal with it.
-yan

to get caught up and lose yourself in (shitloads of crap according to wan) would be easy.
but to pull through and still smile would be an achievement.

i believe pain humbles us in the best possible way.
and that it is necessary.

what else if not this to make you realize the value of what you still have?

it's been awhile hasn't it?


:)

"lya and wan cakap apa?"

"apa as in?"

"did they tell you what they think you should do?"

"nope, not really."

"if they didn't tell you, i lagilah takut nak tell you what i think you should do."

"well, i do have one thing in mind. tapi yan marah when i told her. so i don't know."


yeah.

i don't know.

do you know?

would you know?

ahah.

i don't want to go with the flow.

don't, please don't tell me that.

because i did, and this is where i am.

sooo...

i don't know.

it's because i can't find my own words that i'm quoting others

How do you unravel a murukku? I asked my mother.

Her eyes rolled heavenwards as a soft, tender sigh escaped her clenched lips:
'Kirukku payale.'

I was relieved when she laid the ladle down before turning to me.

'Have some oomapodhi', she said.

It just gets better, I thought.

'Is it tasty? Now, just take one. Not one handful! Katrika! Just take one little one, a strand.'

And i did, being suitable well-trained.

'How does it taste?'

Can't taste a thing, I replied.

'Because, alone, it is insignificant. But, put it together with more strands, and what do you get?'

Oomapodhi, I said.
-Maxis advertisement.





Even through tough times, courage, determination and a lot of love, can give us wings to fly.
-Petronas advertisement.

Home sweet home.


:)

the nightingale

the nightingale sings when night falls;
when most other birds choose to be silent.

at a time where most would drown in loneliness;
the nightingale sings to rid itself of desolation.

where most would lose themselves in hopelessness;
the nightingale sings for sanguinity.

perhaps it isn't about finding happiness amidst darkness.
perhaps it's about believing that the darkness won't kill you.

so, hold on.

pull through.

and sing.

there!

how's that for optimism?

sudah jumpa, sudah jumpa :)

.Person(s)

Christina is Meredith's Person.
which is why it matters what Christina thinks.
Oh, ini Grey's Anatomy by the way.

I watched this one episode, and it got me thinking.
Do i have a Person?
That one Person where all of what she thinks, matters.
That one Person who's seen the hurt, been there throughout, knows enough to make judgements.

And what she thinks, is actually strong enough to influence me in deciding what's best for me.
Do i have that one Person?

Definitely, maybe?

I wasn't sure.
Until the conversation with Lya a few hours ago.

Isn't it normal that i always find reasons to scare myself?
So then came Lya to the rescue.
Knocking some sense with her truth.
And made me tear up in the process =P

Lya, all those times before, i knew both you and Wan had things against them.
The whole "Oh my, Lin ni biar betul".
And even though you kept it hidden (and hid it well),
well, Wan kan more of a Patrick (as in Spongebob Squarepants) and more obvious =P
She lah with her whole, "no offense Lin, but whhhyyyy?"

So when you said what you said,
it meant a lot.
It's you who said it
You who have seen me go through well, hell.
The many breakdowns and the tears.
The whole "when broken breaks and fallen fall" moments.

Ahh, let the world say that i'm coldhearted.
As long as you and Wan and those who matter know what happens behind closed doors,
enough =)

So yeah, that conversation, though short,
meant a whole lot =)

So no.
I don't have that one Person.
I have a few =)

"the human heart has hidden treasures.
in secret kept, in silence sealed.
the thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures.
whose charm were broken if revealed."
-jane eyre

goodnight all :)

.smiling footsteps *grins!*

i couldn't stop smiling.

i kept smiling all the way!

down the slope,

up the small hill,

up those stairs,

as i stepped into my room,

and sat on the bed,

and faced my laptop.

i'm smiling still.

i smiled for a good few hundred steps.
(ohh, the people who passed me probably thought i was crazy)


but trust me,


i could've smiled for hundreds more :) :) :)

Selamat Hari Raya! :)

teehee.

kenapa entah gembira sangat ni.
hehe.

anyway,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI to all!
and from the deepest of hearts, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN :)

riinduu cousins~
aha, tahu.
bukan gambar masa raya.
but i like :D

.sebab rindu

i miss home. i miss home. i miss home. i miss home.

i miss home. i miss home. i miss home. i miss home.

rindurindurindu~

trust me.
that feeling of belonging? it was heaven on earth.
ahh, correction.
heaven in perak.

yeah.
was - past tense.

things change.
shit happens.

i faded and was soon forgotten.
not a pretty picture when you're at the other end.
pft.

tapi you know,
so what.
so what that i no longer fit in.
the world does not end just because i'm no longer of importance (to you, to them)
if it means seeing things clearer from where i stand,
so be it.

i'd rather be here.



and at this exact moment the phone beeps

(msg from ikin) - ikin

haa i baru lepas lepak kat your house with your mum and yan :P -lya






yup, i'd rather be here.

:)

oh uh.
mimpi lagi.
notgoodnotgoodnotgoodnotgood.
ahaha tengok tu, warm and fuzzy all over, again :P

what have you learnt recently ?

to step back.
and let life unravel, in it's own time and pace.

tak perlu terkejar kejar mencari maksud sesuatu itu.
kenapa itu, kenapa ini.


the meaning (of it all) will come later, if not sooner.
but in the mean time, embrace it.
don't over think it, enjoy it.

tak perlu bingung kan diri sendiri.
tujuan dan matlamat seseorang itu memang sukar untuk dibaca.


step back.
and if it comes your way, embrace.
enjoy :)

what have you learnt recently?

.above all else;

guard your heart.

where did i hear this from?
can't get the sentence out of my head.

above all else; guard your heart.

if by guarding means we never take risks,
tak perlu kan?

but when we put ourselves out there,
only to get hurt and stepped on,
tak perlu jugak, right?

or perlu?

it has to hurt in order to be valued.
it?
it, WHAT?
it lah. yang buat kau senyum (macam) gila hari hari.

ahh, merepek dah.
sebab tu tak suka makan ubat ma!
it fogs the mind and confuses me =P

above all else; guard your heart.

hm.

sudahlah.

i feel like

having ice cream tonight.

so it's cold, so what?

tests and major presentations (for the week), so over and done with!

(teehee)

now.

i want to sit quietly in a corner and have ice cream.

maahuuuuu~!

.(oh, title?)

'cause i could fall asleep in those eyes,
like a water bed

slowly and softly he sang.
loud enough so i could hear him,
but soft so that it would only be me, who heard him.


there we were, by the beach, by that huge rock that looked like a giant turtle.
trillions of stars twinkling brightly (across the dark dark sky)
like the diamonds grandma used to wear (against her dark dark skin).
oh, the breeze! as it gently caresses, bringing us deeper into our own world.
soothing were the sound of the rolling waves, almost hypnotic.


there was no need for stories that night.
all he has kept inside,
the anger, the hatred, the disappointment, the tears, the pain,
everything; he has let out.
there was nothing else for me to tell,
for all and everything, i have told too.

there was no need for stories that night.


we sang.
ahh, he sang and i hummed.
we laughed.
(what can i say, i can be pretty amusing haha!)
all while playing with the sand between our toes.


wouldn't it be nice? to stay in this forever?
he said.

it would. but morning shall come, and the stars will go away.
could it be possible, that the waves would no longer roll gently, but crash against the sand?
and the breeze would never stay this cool, would not always gently brush against our skins.
(you know i say this, for i have been through the storm,
you know i say this for the rainbow never came until i broke free)
i replied, forever the pessimist.

so then it will. but let me tell you this, the elements may change, but the core of us, will not.
i shall not lie, for in my heart lies the same fear you feel.
it has crossed my mind that what we feel now might not be this, then.
but we are here, now.
and while we are here, now; we will pull through.
and make it, even after then, later.
(i know, but i am not them, i am me)
he replied, forever the strength.

how is it possible,
that something as simple as hanging out by the beach with you,
can bring forth feelings that are everything BUT simple?
he pondered.

easy! because it's me.
and it's you.
and it's us.


and he held me close.
the warmth he emanated blanketed me.
diminishing the fear of tomorrow,
infusing what seems to be hope...

..and excitement of what tomorrow might bring.


then..


i woke up.
with no recollection of who he was.
only traces of how he made me feel;

.dude!

okay, dudeS. (ha ha! =P)

Joey: hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a baby?
we could call it Chuck.



Chandler: or Dick.

- Friends Season 3 ep 23


haha! Friends lighten up my time spent in the room =P


"eh, aku doa nnti kau dapat bf (suami tros la kan) yg dapat teman kau masok kedai music =)"

Dude (oh!) Dude,
kau nak tahu,
kau memang cukup kelakar!

ye lah.
kau sorang je manusia yang panggil aku dude
(even depan awek kau haha!)

and kau manusia aku baru (sangat!) kenal,
tapi macam macam dah kau tahu
(okay, tak aci. separuh cerita kau tahu dari sumber lain sebab sumber kau rapat dengan sumber taman tun aku haha)

takpe takpe.
apa apa pun,
aku doakan kau ngn awek kau bahagia ke anak cucu =)

haha hari ini!

when it could've gone extremely wrong,

it turned around =)

(oh~ malam pulak bosan~)

sales revenue.. current liabilities.. quick assets.. debt ratio..
net profit.. quick ratio.. liquidity ratios.. profitability ratios..
ratio.. ratio.. and more ratios...

syabas ikin! sebab berjaya stay up sampai tiba masa sahur!
(tidak tewas kali ini pada seruan katil kan kan =P)

terima kasih juga (!)
sebab teman diri ini yang kempunan air mak angkat kat v5 =P
sanggup menahan mata teman diri ini study chapter 5 yang memeningkan.
melayan karenah diri ini yang suka explain benda secara tiba tiba (and kuat kuat =P).
dan mendengar luahan hati diri ini tentang topik itu (bukan chapter 5; tapi perihal masalah kecil yang diangkat setinggi langit konon nya) yang benar benar whatever~

penghargaan; kerana tiada ayat bunga bunga yang keluar dari mulut anda,
dan susunan ayat anda tidak berbaur unsur hipokrit untuk kononnya menjaga hati.
kerana kejujuran kata kata anda sentiasa membuat diri ini tertunduk.
kerana tiada janji palsu kononnya ingin menenteram jiwa yang sekali sekala kacau bilau ini.
kerana bila tiba diri ini diam menjauhi semua, anda memahami konsep ruang.
kerana sentiasa memahami.
kerana sentiasa ceria ala ala shin chan! =P



for the hundredth time,
i am reminded,

all that i have now, is all that i need :)

.oh me oh my~!

i've always wondered...

is the middle shower bigger than the right shower?
because it seems to be so (oh yes it does!)

night or day, come rain or shine
no matter how far the mind wanders
i keep finding myself in the middle shower
(slightly claustrophobic, i am!)

they tell me it's the same!
how they laugh when the mouth speaks of this weirdness
(oh, but i laugh with them, yes i do!)

ahh, and came a day i could take it no more
with a ruler in hand i set out to measure both spaces

and well well oh me oh my~
what do you know...







the middle shower IS slightly bigger than the left shower~!


true true, things aren't always what it seems.

but sometimes, what it seems is all there is to it.

hee :D

betul. kita semua memang aneh.

if not this, it would be something else. ;)

if this is reality, let me sleep - a few hours would do (please);

pukul tiga pagi.
well, almost.

reality hurts.


S M A C K ! !


*ouch*

nabilah, sorry lambat call.
lep, sorry banyak senyap.
yan, sorry message pendek pendek.

it's what the Past holds.
scarred, get it?
which was why it was never easy ever since.

bring it on.
come what may i would say.
anything else but this.

oh, it is easy to tell myself otherwise.
the words roll off easily.
a shrug here, a chuckle there.
no harm done.
harm?
what do i not know of harm?
plenty, perhaps.
but i know enough to know i don't like it.
i don't like this.

it's like one of those old horror movies,
where they get stuck in the House of Mirrors,
looking for a way out,
running from what they believe is after them,
when really, all that surrounds them are reflections of themselves.

silence can work with you, or against you.
comfort you or smother you.
please, no more.
because when silence is present,
what was comes flooding back.

leave me at peace.
come to terms with the fact that maybe,
just maybe.

no haunting nightmares, no crushing dreams.
no more (please).

tidurlah (please).

enough, okay?

(please).

.thoughts

first thought after lab software engineering:
(sambil jalan2 ke arah pocket D)

ngantuknyaa~


**

then,

"lina, masa kecik kecik kan,
kita tak pernah terfikir pun kan yang kita akan jadi kawan,
yang kita akan ada kat sini,
belajar and jumpa kat sini.."

*nods vigorously*

second thought:

blessed :)
why is it that sometimes we forget?
blessed sebenarnya kita ni =)


**

then,

"oh, lina kejap ye.."
*answers call*
"you're at pocket D right?
can wait for a while aa?
i want to see you, sekejaaap also can."

third thought:

haa~
to have once been there. (bliss kan?)
when a glimpse could hold you throughout the day.
why is it that the heart yearns for what it refuses to comprehend?
oh-uh, flutter by butterfly~


**

then,

"lina, aku terharu kau wish aku ni.
tapi kan, kau awal sehari"

*laughs hysterically*

haha. sumpah excited nak wish kau =P

forth thought:

i miss home~


**

then,

"please don't ever just be a candle.
you would light up others but burn yourself while doing so.
and i don't want that for you.
i just thought of that since semalam.
so yeah.."

fifth thought:

lep, if not that, than what?
though your concern is much appreciated :)

**

and here i am,
a few hours later,
with all these thoughts intermingling.

is it a must that i reach a conclusion?
(tak perlu rasanya)

reminder to self:

no matter how fast life moves,
always stop (or at least slow down)
to smell the roses (as they say).

take none for granted,
and enjoy every moment ;)

it's those little things that matters most,
every significant moment, no matter how small.

(see ma!
this is what happens after every phone conversation with you.
hehe :D)

flowers that brightens my day!
terima kasih kepada mereka yang memberi :D

.shh, rahsia!

ah, kau! (tahu!);
oh. sudah lah tu cik lina~
*chuckles at self*

Just finished watching The Secret!

lenguh. from all the nodding.
hehe.

bersepah "ahaa!" moments.
the many times i had to pause to write down wtv sentences that hit really deep.
(old habit. adik used to get annoyed.
even Pokemon the movie had lines that were so very inspiring okay =P)

"The universe likes speed.
Don't delay, don't second guess, don't doubt,
when the opportunity is there,
when the impulse is there,
when the intuitive nudge from within is there - act.
That's your job.
And that's all you have to do."

- Dr Joe Vitale (Metaphysicist)

Act.
Suka suki (hm? haha) throw around the word,
as if it's such an easy thing to do.

ahh but the beauty of it?
i'm sitting, listening to them talk about The Secret,
and thinking, believing that yeah, it probably is easy.
It's possible to be done.
And that's all that matters,
when you know you can.

:)

(revelations okay.)

tapi,
tak apakan indulge in this,
though i keep telling myself,
(esok lupa, esok lupa)
tapi bila tiba esok,
it heightens.
(sometimes to extreme heights)- gayat? mungkin.

ah, tapi! (biar!),
sunshine and rainbows, okay.
hee
*grins*

..rindu air mangga madu (muda!)

.si kecik (sekali);

adik sudah update blog!
(note: link budak kecik ni ada kat right hand side of my blog)
it's been what? almost two years adik dah tak update?
berhabuk dah blog tu. =P

until of course the most recent post.

hey budak kecik ni.
you're what?
TWELVE kan?

you kan yang suka kacau my friends.
yang suka annoy the hell out of yan.
yang suka stick like glue to my guy friends.
(only because you don't have an elder brother, but still)

*silent sebentar*

but then again,
hasn't he always showed wisdom far beyond his years?
hasn't he always listened to me ramble on about things he probably doesn't understand?
(as of yet)
and in between the silence, he would say things that everyone would actually pause to ponder on.

pause to ponder on.

he's twelve!

whether it was a passing comment,
or he's seriously concerned about what we're going through,
he has had moments (plenty, plenty) where he would surprise the whole lot of us.

which is probably why senakal nakal dia,
he manages to always charm his way through.
so semarah marah kita semua,
sekejap je forgive dia.

with age comes wisdom?
probably.
but i know a kid who defies that statement.

ahh, hello kiddo :)
selamat kembali ke alam blogging!

(though you shouldn't have deleted previous posts ok.

suka!)

cam tak percayakan sometimes?
*peace adik! love peace, no war*

=P

(yan, nnti tribute untuk you jugak satu hari taw!

rindu korg sgt amat!!!)

.sebab ketawa

terbahak-bahak.

walaupun tiga orang bawah satu payung,
walaupun satu payung bawah langit yg sedang menangis,
kita senang ketawa all the way dari USM sampai v3 ;D

"kamu patut bersyukur dapat kawan mcm saya.
sebab saya selalu buat kamu gelak!"

to laugh at?
no, no. to laugh with ;)

bersyukur?
everyday :)

"ada lori, ada bas?
lebih lebih lebih aaa" ;P

.so be it

because i'm not them..




and never will be.





because





i am me.





so be it.

what say you?

.mungkin

suram? sayu? sedih?


>.<

tapii. tadi...

gembiraa!

:D

ahh, hari ini.

hm, mungkin esok.

"Two men look out through the same bars;

One sees the mud, and one the stars"

-Frederick Langbridge

hey kamu, sudahlah! pergi tidur.


hee, goodnight :)

what is the worth of anything we do?

the worth is in the act.
your worth halts when you surrender the will to change & experience life.

options are before you;
choose and dedicate yourself to it.
the deeds will give you new hope & purpose.

"Come to the edge.
No, we will fall.

Come to the edge.
No, we will fall.

They came to the edge.
He pushed them, and they flew."

-Guillame Appolinaire

kau datang dengan tujuan dan tinggal tanpa sebab.

because i hate missing shadows and footsteps;

remnants of what you chose to leave behind.

aku terima tanpa ;Expectation tapi lari kerana ;Fear.

remember, its not you i dream about.

it's what you ;Represent that haunts.

.thoughts

talk about ego boosts, sepanjang hari ok!

therefore, current annoying thought.
(as of 30 minutes ago)

"macam mana nak bezakan antara mahu dan perlu??"

tiba afiq dengan ayatnya.

"Kalau kau baik, insya Allah kau akan dapat jodoh yang baik. Jangan khuatir.
Ini semua, secara liberalnya, suku sakat karma."

ha ambik kau! menusuk kalbu sangat. huhu.

current thought.
(as of now)

"come what may"

:)

.4 days :)

prom sangat symphony kuu! haha!

ha, ape lg! datang la symphony fest '08 =P

(ye incek2 yg book tiket, ambik cepat!)

haha lyaaaa looking forward to the sleepover :D

ismal, tra and i will welcome you with open arms ;)

(ahh, banyak betul emoticons - excited =P)

this is what happens when i prance around,
parading so called 'costume' with the rest of the girls,
while incek singer jadi stylist suma orang,
and incek guitarist test guitar baru dapat,
and conversation with cik bestie on the phone about saturday's plan,

and incek singer selit2 in between conversations.

best! ;D

yeapz. you get one very hyper lincat =P

gnyt :)

i'm quieter, so sue me.
doesn't mean i'm not happy.
definition of being happy is so overrated.
annoyed (a bit), so sue me.

"so everyone wants stuff,
we wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long,
and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true.
But just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy."
-pushing daisies ep 6

p/s: people watching from my window is fun =P

.happily twisted

"you know what i think we are lin? we're twisted."

yes babe, haha! i know =P

but i'd like to believe i'm happily twisted.
i am!
i've been thinking (no worries lep) bcause this time,
the conclusion is simple.

i like where i am.
i LOVE where i am, what i'm doing.
contented. =)

"it's the forbidden fruit syndrome lin! we like what we can't have."

ahhh. rite.
xmau ulas!
long forgotten memories for me (dropping said habit!),
and wan's current bump along her road.
rite.

but this i can say,
do what you think is right, even if it's wrong.
what's black and what's white?
sometimes you can't justify right or wrong.
yeay for you if you got it right!
wrong move? we still move forward.
just learn from it.
black areas, white areas, there are grey ones too :)

even if it hurts.

sedang watch private practice episode 5.
(before i fell asleep and wan called)
where addison's having continous dreams about this guy she works with.
continous dreams.
well, aren't i the expert in recurring dreams huh,haha!

ahaa, sudah sudah!
dreams or no dreams,
i'm done drowning
(okaaay, it wasn't that bad =P)

free free free!
i've dealt with it ;)

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing

than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance

- e e cummings

.mungkin mlm lebih baik

it's a beautiful night tonight.
ismal and i just couldn't stop staring at it.
with the full moon so bright.
and the trail of those jets!
as moonbeams bounced of the clouds,
and starlights pierced through,
while some struggled to shine.

it's a beautiful night tonight :)

****

sebab mereka best.

to a point words can't describe this.

we're making music :)

sebab gelak2 ngn ismal, chana n firin

sambil2 'networking' sgt lah seronok!

"talam dua muka sangat! tanya la lina, dia tahu sangat benda ni"

mmg.

outcast? i'm slowly becoming one.

so yeah, i understand..

sebab borak2 ngn jag

rindu2~!

sebab chat ngn wan

made me miss home even more.

thanx syg for reminding me of strength :)

so no matter how crappy,

it will be alright. :)

****


engkau lah alasan ku untuk terus hidup!
diriku telah terikat dijiwaa muuuu!
- can't get this outta my head! tp best :D



****

in times of peril,

they shall come (knights!);

to lighten the darkest of days

and bring a smile on the masked face (of her);

****



i thought my playing would suck big time.
but it didn't.
i nailed solo sinaran spot on!
i managed smiles and laughter (real ones mind you),
when throughout the day i could not.


and this proves it.
THIS, is my escape.


in perak when all hell breaks loose,
i can run to this.


and still hold on.

yeay! :)

.hush now heavy heart, hush

for you, a thousand times over

i miss home

.oh uh

14 ikut 1, 13 lompat 15

3 count, 2 kau bunga cintaku yeahh!

rite :)

****

looks.

in times like this that reassuring look would be oh so welcomed.

ahh, kenapa kau pergi.

but then again.

different, no better or worse.

just different. :)

this would be my escape.

from expected emotional crap
(since org2 sudah mula go public
-omg tolonglah childish!)

this, would be my escape. mine.

and these looks,
and the smiles,
and lunches & supper together,
and those small conversations,
no matter how insignificant it would seem,
is my breath of fresh air.

because people judge,
and jump to conclusions,
and can get incredibly childish,
and publicly put you down,
this is where i break free.

in times i'd rather be far away from it all,
i would be here.

oh God give me strength~

for all that it's worth.

****

damn, susah! *looks up*
uhhh.. *smiles*
okaaay *looks away*

cheerful kembali =P

sudah lah tu. cukup lah. there's nothing here to see.

.ceriaaa

ouh shiiittt. comel sial!

urm urm urm.

aaaa knapeeeeeee.

hahah. ignore me =P

***

its a rainy morning,
mood yang sepatutnya sayu.
oh, tapi tidak.
incik rio febrian menceriakan pagi sy ^^,

hee, alasan untuk hidup ini incek?
music and lyrics best :)

haha.
as humans we tend to judge, and judge fast.
what we see on the surface almost always satisfies us.
failing to understand that there's always a deeper side to the story.
we fail to understand even when it has repeatedly occured.

old habits die hard.

and in times of extreme self absorbtion,
jumping to conclusions senang kan?
jump lah.

makes it easier to detach, not any harder.
as it has always been.
because then you prove what it would always be like in times of darkness.
not any different than most.

ego jugak.
me lah, i know. huehehehe.

***

leh, intimidating sgt ke sy?

sampai yg tua pon teragak2 nk tegur?

ngehehe comellll ;)

.sudah (bosan);

kenapa ntah sayu di pagi hari ni~

ha. just perlu blaab somewhere.

sudah tengok bucket list?
yeah, it's a slow movie but the lessons behind it is valuable.

neah, i'm not gonna spoil the movie for yah.
but yea, there was a scene where the two men were in egypt.
and one of them started talking about death and what the egyptians believe.

apparently (whether or not this is true),
the egyptians believe that before you enter heaven you're asked two questions.

in your lifetime,
have you known joy?

and..

have you given joy to others?

rite. cam cerita wanted lah pulak.
"what have you done today?"

for the entire week last week i've been meeting up with old pals.
(oh and the weeks before jugak)
delighted at the fact that the friendship was never lost.
touched that even after all these years, we find ourselves able to connect.
still.

the transient phase thingy?
yeah. if ever i do talk about it, i know they would understand.
even if i don't haha! xP

***

ahh yes. quoting aina pulak.
found this kat her fb.
sungguh lah a "haa!!" moment.

Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.
Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you.
The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass.
That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

***

virtuoso tema jazzy!
yeay! tho bila dgr lagu2 semlm cam OMG *gulp*
tp this time cikgu would be around
(bukan cam rampaian malaysia yg sgt lah oh my~)
so teach me jazz teach teach!! :D

list lagu yg tertarik menarik kau mmglah the bomb!
(huh na? =P)

hahaha oraito oraito.
perlu siaap2 tuk g practice!

*semangat neh!*

current mood: sayu di pagi hari
semangat di tgh hari ;D

p/s: if you feel like the world's starting to become a pain,
and life's getting ready to hit you in the face,

nah! go check this out.

still, i rise by maya angelou.

go go! =)

.leaving

sedang upload pictures of the last few days dekat facebook.

hm.

i don't think i'll ever get use to leaving.

mama and i calculated tadi how long my break has been.
out of 2months (plus minus),
i've been home for only 2 and a half weeks (plus minus).

two and a half weeks!
tp sgt worth it. :)

rekindling old friendships..
it has been amazing.
seeing old friends and finding out you still click.
that you can still open up and talk to them.
and laugh and go crazy as well ;P

i can't sum up the hols.
i can't put it in words.
(gaah yes, speechless disni)

let's just say superbly awesome doesn't even begin to describe it ;)

i suppose i've been reminded that true and genuine friendships don't fall apart easily.
that yeah, you've gone through shitloads of crap together,
you don't talk & meet up as often,
you've had misunderstandings & fights,
and all that you use to do together just doesn't happen anymore.

but you know what the best thing is?
it doesn't matter.

you can live miles apart and yet when you meet up you're able to pick up where you left off.
you rarely see each other but clicking again is always possible.

(yah, quoting cg agn-sorta)
it doesn't matter if you have a million friends, or less than 10.
what matters is that you know out of those million you have a handful (or less) that are true friends.
those who really understands you and knows you well.
i can be on the other side of the world, but as long as i know i have these handful who cares for me, who loves me, who understands me,
i know i'll be alright.

i have those handful :)
and those i thought i lost are still there :)

sayang sayang family & friends! ^^,

huaaah!!
this is what leaving does to me.
huhu.

besok sure demam. =P

.distraction?

alhamdullillah :)

yes, turun a bit.

but i'm contented nevertheless :)

proves that the strength was still there.

despite all that was going on at given time. :)

proves to cg haq,

music is not a distraction.

music is not the distraction.

so mari new sem!

let's see what challenges you bring now :)

current mood: contented

excited (roe n lya n incik tua all in one day!)

thank God :)

.untitled the second

i did write one long piece of crap.

masih a draft. mungkin xkan post.

you know why?

it takes a lot to be the bigger person and let it go.

done.

i planned on waking up late today.
but i didn't.
did my usual every morning routine and logged on to me lappy.

lo and behold cik lina.
results keluar besok bukan today.
today's the tenth, not the eleventh.
riittee~

dengan rasa malu thp dewa terhadap dri sndri, i started surfin the net.

chatted with incik pdus yg spatutnya sdg bekerja.

looking forward to convo nye practice, he says i should be.

i am :)

then came the conversation about eupho 09.

looking forward to that too.

ahh and for believing in musical skills yg x semane pon.

hm, eupho 09.

aura music best, yeah! ;)

lazed around sum more.

til cg called and told me he was in front of the house.

told to get my lazy ass off wtv im sitting down on and get out of the house.

rite.

so went to lunch with cg and friend.

hm, conversations!

"what is it with people of your species?
nk attn satu hal, pastu xphm that ppl can't always give them attn 24/7"

i beg to differ.
it's not just MY species, mind you.

"you like perak don't you?"

hm.
i would like to scream and shout that "i do!",
because most of the people i've met there are goodGOODgood friends.
given the fact that i've only known them skejap.
and the exposure to music and the ppl, haa :)

tapi.
and there's always a but.
there are things i can't take.

as of yet.

so belum boleh scream it out.

"because mature sgt.
nk cr yg on par pon susah what more someone more matured.

its because you're not the manja type, neither are you gedik,
or wtv else most would expect you to be."

hah!

i know i'm not perfect.

if i can see that, why not u?

i know i have principles some don't agree with.
so do you.
if i can deal with it, why not u?

i'm not blonde.
i don't act blonde.

i don't care what people think of me.

i can't sing.

i tend to be very forgetful.

i'm clumsy.

i have trouble expressing myself.

i can't be cheerful n bubbly 24/7.

i get annoyed with people who never seems to get it.

i get annoyed with people who are two-faced.

i get annoyed with people who hide the truth.

i get annoyed.

i'm lazy.

so i'm not stick thin, so what?

if i can deal with it, why not u?

hah. hormones.

p/s: tra! i just read ur msg kt facebook. haa nnti2 i text cg and we meet up k? prolly weekend kot sbb lya balek weekend.

pps: anyone tahu any songs yg best? in midst of downloading unheard of songs/singers to be uploaded in me mp3. anyone?

.short and sweet

terrible headache.
gaah hormones! >.<

so not looking forward to perak.
and yet,
i'm excited for the new sem
(results blum klua boley la ckp =P)
and yet,
i know i can't take the emotionally draining part.
tp nk balek.
tp xnk.
xnk.

and because i refuse to justify anything as of now,
im keeping this short and sweet.
i might say the wrong thing,
or be interpreted wrongly.

short and sweet.

gnyt :)

sbb ste

sbb ste best!

sbb opening up to the group was possible.

sbb samba 5 punye bond sgt kuat!

sbb the group opened up and bonded.

sbb volleyball adalah seronok bersama mereka!

sbb main cards sampai pagi best.

sbb swimming mlm2 sronok.

sbb plan gi rumah api tgh mlm best.

<

tapi x jadi, instead lepak ramai2 tepi pool sampai pukul 3pagi.

sbb dapat gelak.

sbb dapat nangis.

because..

Samba 5 in loving memories =)

With Me -Sum 41

sums up the entire break.

thank God for family & friends =)

(new & old alike ;))

jom ste!

hohh.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

hm.

hahaha!

*chuckles to self*

ahaa.

*sighs*

huhu..

haa well~

hahah

*grins*

*grins really widely*

i've run out of words to describe the past few days.

up til this very moment, it has been...

huaaah

a m a z i n g .

had another post to write, but decided not to.

not yet.

let's not leave kl on a sad note.

mari ste! (hohoh smangat btol incek zaher tepon awal2 pagi ;D)

don't miss me ;)

jangan rindu diri ini!

til friday night ;)

p/s: thx lyas,lil,ajin,paie,najat for semlm =)

for saying that every one of us adalah penyumbang sesuatu.
(tho lina stil rase ajin sbenarnye rindu roti lina wat aritu kan kan kan! =P)

for saying setiap sorg cam mewakili 3 org, so effect sorg takde cam besaar.
(tak trase gemuk kah dgn statement ini? hahaha! rase2 =P)

for trying really hard pujuk lina gi ulu yam.

(next time! serious! i''ll make time this time!)

for ajin and paie's non stop tp sumpah kelaka nye bickering all the way from cheras to ttdi.
(haha! ini mereka yg hidup zaman motokar pastu terpegun ngn kereta moden serta bangunan)

for mama lil yg call pagi2.

(yeay! kite still boley cover2 cam dulu huh? =P)
hah! for the whole time lah senang!
from the moment lyas amek until the moment lyas anta depan pintu :D

for mereka and kamu ;)
sayang korg! =)

haa life =)

current mood:

blessed (as in thank God for them all and the past few days)
touched (as in terharu)
loved (as in xdela ketandusan kasih syg mane sgt =P)
mamai (as in xcukup tdo)
malas (as in nk pack)

angau lagi

hoh! i have one and a half hours to blog.

and i have two posts in mind.

hohh.

and ste besok. -_-

on a lighter note! (oh so very light and cheerful this note ;))

met up with aspire people (aspire btw is tuition center mse f5)!

and aslarids!
(later tonight would be mereka!)

majorMAJORmajor people that helped shape who i am today =)

so yeapz!

reunion of aspire ppl consisted of lya, izzul, tra and yours truly.

haha! we had fun banging izzul didn't we =P

and yeah, sorry tra, you and the pig mmg just so classic ;P

perempuan2 aspire and proud of it! :D

izzul the fat one bullying tra the pig while lin the monkey ignored em.
haha! =P

then came the long awaited, belated! aslarids reunion.
(hohh!!! tp rayz tak pegi! so we were ALMOST complete >.<) and where else la kan? mesti la dekat taman depan sk2 tu. snap snap snap goes the camera. rekindling old memories while making new ones ;)

aslarids 125
recarved~

managed to squeeze suma in jugak haha!

loves <3

lepas ni would be with the guys plus lil.

hueee sgt rindu keluaa mlm bersama mereka plus lil ;)

so yeah, one day filled with people who used to matter, and matters still.

(loadsLOADSloads!!)

ok, lil just called.

i have 15 minutes to get ready >.<

adieu ppl! akan post the other one later!

tk cr! :)

mari teruskan keangauan!

skttdi(2) batch of 2000 reunion

"because at some point in our lives, we've been close before"

-lya

the whole lot of us

hee.

angau :D

it prolly started during lunch with lya (yes, at 5pm =P)
and we were talking about changes.
and at the same time realizing, yeay!
what wall lin? i can still open up :D
so much of calling myself a recluse.

(hah perak! in your face! until the moment i get over my paranoia then i can say "in your face kulim" pulak =P)

lya initiated angauisme.

reunion skttdi2 batch 2000 made the angauisme worse.
(in good ways! :D)

most of these people i havent met for a LONGlongLONG time.
but voila!
we clicked, and clicked well pulak tu, still.
after all these years.

lyas: pandang camera mane ni?
naqib: pandang jee

always a toilet picture ;)

oh yes, i miss them.
ini mereka who has been there with me.
all throughout the supposed years of our pre-teen angst,
they have been there with me.

ahaa.

and walking down memory lane?

gile bursts of memories.
yeap, i miss the good ol days =)

we had fun didn't we?

in our own ways, we had tons of fun ;)

hoh. lya+lin pegang camera together can fit 5 people in picture.
yeay accomplishment! ;P

mengenang kembali zaman kanak2~

it's amazing how most of us didn't change as much.
and how much we still remember.

sarv the storyteller =)
(thank God he hasn't changed much ^^,)

and sarv actually remembered the day i left for kulim.

comel ok.

the whole him and ashwin driving me home from my farewell breakfast.
and when he and lya brought me to the steep hill kat Sungai Penchala to cheer me up.

roller coaster ride! :D

oh, and he remembered making me cry =P

The Leaving Song - Stephen Speaks.
(hohhh! it made me cry for at least a month everytime i heard it)

and he knew that ashwin teared up as well?
sarv knows more than he lets on -_-"

"you didn't see him before he left?"
"what's with the tone la?"
"you of all people! you were one of the closest girl to him"

oh, rindu ashwin =(

ahaa.

lya staying over till 4am sealed the deal.

my day was perfect =)

is perfect.
(lya and i decided not to end the day just yet)

we had our usual talks.
tho this time wasn't a buai session (since brg sumpa byk kat buai)
gazebo session pon jadi la ryt? :D

and yes.
lya actually signed up facebook for me.

hahah! comel betol :D

and yeah, the usual me pester lya takya balek.
and everytime she tries to make a move i'd stop her.
the usual =P

i've missed this.
so SO much =)

lin loves yoouuuu!! :)
we really should get a bicycle.
cycle from uitm sri iskandar to utp.

haha =P

so yeay! besok two more reunions!

aspire reunion serta aslarids :D

more more long lost important people ^^,

so gnyt then!

The Leaving Song - Stephen Speaks

And everytime I think of you

I'll remember all the goodtimes that we've had

And everytime I sing this tune

I will laugh, I will cry, I will close my eyes

Cause I know that it won't be long

Until we sing, we will write

We will laugh away the night

And the good times will never end

When we meet again

And I'm gonna be somewhat lonely

cause you know no one could ever fill your shoes

As iron sharpens iron you have thought me how to be a stronger man

And I look forward to the day I learn again

We will sing, we will write

We will laugh away the night

And I know that it won't be long

Until we meet again

Though I wish that I were with you now

I know there's a reason for a space

I can dream of memories you're writing down

And I look forward to that day

And the smile on your face

We will sing, we will write

We might cry and we might fight

And the good times will never end

We will laugh, we'll relax, we'll reflect on the years we've past

And I know that it won't be long, until we meet again

And everytime I think of you

tq ashwin for the song weeks before kulim.

(and for tearing up)
tq sarv for putting it on, on the day leaving for kulim.
tq all for a lifetime's worth of memories =)

hoh! haha! lin jiwang =P *chuckles at self*

current mood: elated. sungguh mls nk g ste. kacau!!