Showing posts with label article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label article. Show all posts

Sunday, January 06, 2019

enter 2019









On the drive to and from New England, Mike and read this Medium article about 30 Behaviors that will make you unstoppable in 2019. It is similar to this article we read last year that inspired our resolutions for 2018. I love reviewing the past year and making plans and goals for a new year. I've picked up journaling more in the past few months, especially as a way to start my day and set up the kind of headspace I want to be in. It's been helpful to name my goals, my successes and my struggles. To articulate what I want and what I'm afraid of. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the world and the way of things but journaling and reading and praying really helps me to gain perspective and focus on the next right thing. I know so much of what I do on a day to day basis seems small and unremarkable, but I truly believe that that it is the small things that add up to make a big difference. I really believe that there is nothing more important I could be doing than raising these four sweet children and creating an authentic, mindful life for our family. But sometimes I feel inadequate and insufficient and like a big fat failure. I suppose that is normal... but unacceptable, really. I don't want to waste time doubting myself! 
Anyhow, beside being sick and trying to get over this cold that I've had since Thanksgiving, the new year has started off well. We had a sweet little celebration for 12th Night, we've had a Family Night lesson about respect (complete with homemade puppets for acting out different scenarios) and we've been looking forward to this new year.

Friday, July 07, 2017

activism and some really good photos

My friend, KK, is a gifted photographer and even better, a really good friend. I've enjoyed getting to know her this past year (her daughter, Nadia, plays soccer with Maya). She is the author of Great Americans and recently had an article published in the Washington Post about what inspires activists. It was a great read and inspiring to me. I'm hoping to become more involved in our local government and I needed a little reminder of why it's important to fight for social justice.
Anyhow, I just wanted to document this because I'm proud of my friend and I also hope to refer to this in the future.



Friday, December 23, 2016

all is calm, all is bright
















Knowing that we would be "recovering" from Truman's surgery, we purposefully planned this week as a quiet week. The children love having their Sithoo around and she has been taking care of us in her loving way. Mayumi is out of school for vacation and Mike has been taking a few hours off here and there. He took the kids to open gym. I love open gym. According to this awesome article in the Washington Post, hanging upside down and climbing things isn't just good for the body, but for healthy brain development. Mike also took them out for a nature walk while I stayed home with Truman and worked on all my craft projects. We made sun bread to celebrate the winter solstice. Wyckham came over for dinner and we discussed the Margaret Cho/ Tilda Swinton controversy.  Mayumi's been making gifts for her brothers: Darth Vader for Corrigan and Yoda for Benji. Out of spoons. Bless my heart.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

RS lesson on temples as a symbol of our faith

RS Lesson: The Temple - The Great Symbol of Our Membership
Sunday, July 17, 2016

When I was married in 1998 there were 53 operating temples in the world. Now there are 150 operating temples, 16 under construction, and 11 more announced. As Mormons, we love our temples!
In Chapter 13 of the Teachings of Presidents of the Church manual, Howard W. Hunter said that “We are encouraged to establish the temple as the great symbol of our membership.” As defined in the dictionary, a symbol is:
  1. a thing that represents or stands for something else, especially a material object representing something abstract.
How is the temple a symbol of your religion, for you individually?
  • “To have the temple indeed be a symbol unto us, we must desire it to be so. We must live worthy to enter the temple. We must keep the commandments of our Lord. If we can pattern our life after the Master, and take His teaching and example as the supreme pattern for our own, we will not find it difficult to be temple worthy, to be consistent and loyal in every walk of life, for we will be committed to a single, sacred standard of conduct and belief. Whether at home or in the marketplace, whether at school or long after school is behind us, whether we are acting totally alone or in concert with a host of other people, our course will be clear and our standards will be obvious.
What blessings have you experienced as a result of your temple worship?
  • The ability to stand by one’s principles, to live with integrity and faith according to one’s belief—that is what matters. That devotion to true principle—in our individual lives, in our homes and families, and in all places that we meet and influence other people—that devotion is what God is ultimately requesting of us. It requires commitment—whole-souled, deeply held, eternally cherished commitment to the principles we know to be true in the commandments God has given. If we will be true and faithful to the Lord’s principles, then we will always be temple worthy, and the Lord and His holy temples will be the great symbols of our discipleship with Him.” (Hunter)
  •  “Temple worthiness ensures that our lives are in harmony with the will of the Lord, and we are attuned to receive His guidance in our lives.” (Hunter)
  • Commenting on how our lives are blessed by temple attendance Elder John A. Widtsoe stated: “Temple work … gives a wonderful opportunity for keeping alive our spiritual knowledge and strength. … The mighty perspective of eternity is unraveled before us in the holy temples; we see time from its infinite beginning to its endless end; and the drama of eternal life is unfolded before us. Then I see more clearly my place amidst the things of the universe, my place among the purposes of God; I am better able to place myself where I belong, and I am better able to value and to weigh, to separate and to organize the common, ordinary duties of my life so that the little things shall not oppress me or take away my vision of the greater things that God has given us” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1922, pp. 97–98).10

Not everyone has positive spiritual experiences in the temple. Sometimes it is a struggle to even get to the temple and for some who DO go, it is confusing, disappointing, or strange or even offensive. I recently read something that helped me understand why some of us may have completely different reactions to the temple experience. In the blog post, the author pointed out that some people believe there are love languages and she posits that perhaps there are spiritual languages as well - different ways that we are able to the commune with God and feel the Spirit. For some, being in nature is their spiritual language, for others it can be music, or service, or art. Some people are fluent in the language of the temple while others struggle to get it. If you are one of those people who have a hard time understanding the spiritual language of the temple, know that you are not alone, and try not to be discouraged. Languages can be learned, and as wonderful as temples are, they are not the ONLY way to connect with the Lord. God loves us all and knows our hearts. If you are spiritually not ready to attend the temple at this time there are still ways to be fully involved in the church. 
One of my favorite church leaders, Chieko Okazaki, wrote these things about the temple:

"We need to be patient with ourselves if things don’t seem to be happening for us the way we think they should. I can’t think about the temple as a “house of glory” without remembering my first temple experience. By the time Ed and I were able to be sealed, we were living in Salt Lake City. I remember how impressed I was with the beauty of the temple and also with the instruction. I liked moving from room to room, ascending higher as we learned each new stage. But I was also uncomfortable. It was strange. I didn’t know what to do. I felt awkward. I was so grateful for Jennie and Thomas Beisinger, the missionaries who helped Ed and me through that first time, and for the other sisters who helped me on return visits when I was sneaking sideways peeks trying to figure out what to do next. But I was patient with myself and my feelings, and now I’m very comfortable with the temple. I walk in as though I were walking into my own home, with the same sense of being welcome and at home.I’ve often heard wonderful stories of people who have seen visions in the temple or had experiences with the individual for whom they were officiating, and I’ve thought, “Okay, today I have Maria So-and-So’s name. I wonder if she’s here. I wonder if I’ll feel her presence.” But I never have. Does that mean I’m not as spiritual as the people who have those manifestations? Or that I should stop going to the temple? Not at all. I do have spiritual experiences. Don’t think your spiritual experiences have to look the same as those you read about in the Ensign or hear about in testimony meeting.The temple is a wonderful place of instruction, but I’ve never found it to be a place where I had much time for meditating on any particular problem I’ve needed to solve. Instead, I’ve appreciated the chance to receive instruction and perform a service for someone else, then I’ve taken that instruction away and pondered it in my own heart and in my own home, exploring ways to apply it to my problems. Furthermore, not everyone has access to the temple, but we all have access to the spirit of the temple, because it’s the same spirit of the Lord that dwells within us.We don’t have to be in a sacred place for spiritual things to happen. The Sacred Grove was just a stand of trees before Joseph Smith walked into it. It became sacred because of what happened there. Where is your Sacred Grove? It could even be in your car, if that’s where you spend a lot of time thinking through problems and attuning your heart sensitively to the Spirit. Perhaps it’s while you’re out walking. Heavenly Father doesn’t save up all his spiritual experiences just for sacrament meeting or the temple.And that’s because you’re a temple — a living, breathing, walking temple on two legs with a spirit that’s in motion, seeing the needs of many, meeting the needs of many, sometimes tuned in fully and beautifully to the indwelling Spirit of the Lord, and sometimes even forgetting that the Spirit is there, and needing Paul’s reminder." (Lighten Up!, pg 72-73)
and
"Most of us think of the temple when we hear the description recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants of “a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.” (D&C 88:119.) And justifiably so. But this scripture was given six months before the ground was broken for the building of the Kirtland Temple. At the time, the Saints didn’t know what a temple was, or what it was for, or what they would do in it. And when the Kirtland Temple was finished, it was not a place that could be entered only by recommend. It was a public place, a place where the Saints came together with their children, their friends — even their enemies, I imagine — to worship and learn together. In other words, it was something like a meetinghouse when it was built.There’s a parallel here for our day. A “house of glory … a house of God” can be our own ward meetinghouse, even our own Relief Society room. Or, consider yet another concept about temples, discussed in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians: “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16; emphasis added.)I love the way Paul says that: “Know ye not?” It’s as though he is astonished that he must remind his readers about the indwelling Spirit of God, something so obvious that they should know it already. Is it possible that when we talk about “a house of glory … a house of God,” we are talking about ourselves? Another thing I love about that scripture is that the Spirit is already there, even though the Corinthians have forgotten about it. Paul doesn’t say, “If you’re very good … and do every single thing on this three-page list of How to Be a Good Christian, it’s possible that maybe the Spirit of God will visit you for a minute or two.” No, he says the Spirit of God is already in us, even though we may not feel it or may not recognize it or may not be doing everything we should. That’s a thought to give us courage.I like to think about the “house of glory’ in three ways. The first way, of course, is our temples, which are dedicated as “the house of the Lord.” The second way is to think of the temple as the Kirtland Temple — as a meetinghouse or chapel where we can come together without any entrance requirements and strengthen and learn from each other. And the third way is to know and feel deep within ourselves that I — and you, and each person in the world — is a temple of God and that we are holy. All three concepts help us with the important task of strengthening ourselves spiritually to face the challenges of today." (Lighten Up!, pg 67-68)

What advice would you give to your pre-temple-attending self to prepare for the temple?
  • I came across this fascinating post on By Common Consent blog that discusses ideas to help improve temple prep for those going through the temple for the first time. 
  • If you are preparing to go through the temple for the first time or if you have already gone through but have questions or concerns, don't be afraid to ask your sisters here for help! While there are some things that are considered too sacred to discuss outside of the temple, many things can be described and explained and analyzed and you may find some answers and support that can ease your heart.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Plans for the boys' education

I've been asked on many occasions which school the boys will attend in the fall and I'm often met with concern or disbelief when I say that I will keep them home with me. I could put them into PreK3 at Maya's school, but then I remember how reluctant my boys (particularly Benji) were about going to their one-morning-a-week coop nursery school and I remember this excerpt from the article "Why Nursery Schools are Bad for Little Boys" in the Times Online:
Government researchers have noticed a “small but significant difference in a large group of children” for whom daycare led to “withdrawn, compliant or sad” behaviour or to higher levels of aggression. This suggests that the children concerned are under stress and recent projects measuring levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in their brains during and after the nursery day confirm this. Even in some children who are quietly well behaved and causing no concern to staff, hormone levels indicate more stress than a small human brain should have to cope with, and these levels remain high even after the child has gone home. Children whose brains have been marinated in cortisol at an impressionable age are at a higher risk of emotional and social problems as the years go by.
The last thing I want is for my kids' brains to be "marinated in cortisol". Stress is such a terrible thing. If I want the boys to go to Yu Ying and have the wonderful Chinese immersion experience that Mayumi is having, I will need to enroll them by the time they're eligible for PreK4 in Fall of 2017 to ensure they have a space. But there is no need to put them into school full time this year. I want to keep them close to me for as long as I possibly can. That's not to say I on't think they would benefit from some kind of structured learning environment, or that I wouldn't like to have some child-free time. I looked into finding another coop or nursery school to put them into a few mornings a week so I could have some free time and/or one-on-one time with Truman, but when I factored in cost and parental duty commitments and volunteer requirements, I figured it would be more cost-effective to hire either a nanny or a tutor for a few hours a week.

What I would really like to do is continue with the playschool set up I've been hosting one morning a week and then hire a "Forest School" teacher to take them and a handful of other kids out into the woods one morning a week to do nature study and outdoor play. Wouldn't that be delightful? It's become quite important to me that my children have a strong connection to and comfort with nature. I want to be better about integrating it into our everyday lives. And I wish that I had a program for the boys like the Honeybee Hive that Maya participated in. I've realized that if what I want doesn't exist, then I have to try to bring it to fruition myself.

Fingers crossed!

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

on my mind recently

Just wanted to capture a few thoughts:
This article from the Atlantic "There's More to Life than Happiness" has been on my mind a lot recently.  Before I read it I'd been contemplating the very American ideal of the "pursuit of happiness" and how it differs from the Asian philosophy of doing one's duty. At it's core, the pursuit of happiness is a selfish goal and too often can result in simply seeking pleasure. Doing things out of a sense of duty can often be an unenjoyable responsibility but I think it can result in a sense of meaning, accomplishment and eventually joy. Ultimately I think it does lead to happiness, but it is a difference in outlook and general philosophy.
I've been wondering how to instill this value of service and duty in myself and my children. It's so easy for me to claim that I am too busy caring for my four children and running a household and addressing my responsibilities at church and work to have time for much else. As much as I want to attend neighborhood advisory meetings and be more involved in my community, or volunteer for various charitable organizations or at Maya's school, or get involved as an activist I find that I barely have time or energy to do those small every day things that are necessary. Nevermind do those things while maintaining a cheerful, patient demeanor with those around me. But it's too easy to dismiss those things because they seem too daunting to tackle. I've been trying to be more diligent about incorporating small acts of service into our daily routines. I've been trying to be more open-hearted and receptive to promptings about how to treat my family and those around me. Right now my main duty is to my little family and every moment I am striving to fulfill that responsibility to the best of my ability.

I recently taught a lesson in Relief Society based on the talk "Returning to Faith" by Rosemary Wixom. I loved the talk and we listened to it in it's entirety during class and then had a really beautiful discussion about how we can be supportive and non judgmental of everyone regardless of where they are in their spiritual journey.

Some other articles I've been pondering:
What if Everything You Knew About Discilplining Kids was Wrong
Wendell Berry on How to be a Poet and A Complete Human Being
To See One Another Broken
The Captivity of Motherhood

Thursday, March 21, 2013

binding

I kept getting a bit nauseated seeing that tactless photo of poop at the top of my blog from the previous post. Sorry if I offended anyone... I simply wanted to capture the bad and ugly moments from my days along with the good stuff.
Here are some more pleasant images:







The boys are growing so quickly, it hard to keep up sometimes. A few weeks ago Corrigan revealed two little teeth poking through his lower gums. We can see little grooves in Benjamin's gums now, so it seems he is not far behind. And you know how sad the wails of a teething baby can be...
They are both so much more aware of the world around them and getting more and more coordinated with their movements. They are reaching for and grasping things, pulling on my long hair (and Maya's too) and getting very close to rolling over. Our days on this great big bed are limited. Once they start rolling over I think I'll have to move to sleeping on the futon on the floor with them. Would hate to hear a thump in the night and realize one of my little ones had fallen out of the bed!
Our new tenants have moved into the basement; a pleasant newly-married couple, Aubrey and Colter. Aubrey is also helping us out for a few hours a week and it has been very nice to have an extra set of hands. Yesterday, while Maya was at gymnastics at the PG County Sports and Learning Complex I left the twins with Aubrey while I swam a few laps in the pool there.

I should be packing now (more on why for a later post) but I wanted to include this interesting article I read in the NY Times about the importance of a strong family narrative on the happiness and resiliency of children. It reminds me of Malachi's prophesy that the hearts of the children will turn to their fathers (Malachi 4:6) and how important family history work is. I hope I can pass on our family's stories and history to our kids so that they know where they came from and who they are. I love how we are connected through the generations and I'm so grateful for the amazing people in our family and the influences they have on our children. This process of remembering... it is part of the reason why I maintain this blog with hopes that it will be meaningful to my children some day and help to keep us all connected.


The Stories That Bind Us

I hit the breaking point as a parent a few years ago. It was the week of my extended family’s annual gathering in August, and we were struggling with assorted crises. My parents were aging; my wife and I were straining under the chaos of young children; my sister was bracing to prepare her preteens for bullying, sex and cyberstalking.
Sure enough, one night all the tensions boiled over. At dinner, I noticed my nephew texting under the table. I knew I shouldn’t say anything, but I couldn’t help myself and asked him to stop.
Ka-boom! My sister snapped at me to not discipline her child. My dad pointed out that my girls were the ones balancing spoons on their noses. My mom said none of the grandchildren had manners. Within minutes, everyone had fled to separate corners.
Later, my dad called me to his bedside. There was a palpable sense of fear I couldn’t remember hearing before.
“Our family’s falling apart,” he said.
“No it’s not,” I said instinctively. “It’s stronger than ever.”
But lying in bed afterward, I began to wonder: Was he right? What is the secret sauce that holds a family together? What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy?
It turns out to be an astonishingly good time to ask that question. The last few years have seen stunning breakthroughs in knowledge about how to make families, along with other groups, work more effectively.
Myth-shattering research has reshaped our understanding of dinnertime, discipline and difficult conversations. Trendsetting programs from Silicon Valley and the military have introduced techniques for making teams function better.
The only problem: most of that knowledge remains ghettoized in these subcultures, hidden from the parents who need it most. I spent the last few years trying to uncover that information, meeting families, scholars and experts ranging from peace negotiators to online game designers to Warren Buffett’s bankers.
After a while, a surprising theme emerged. The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.
I first heard this idea from Marshall Duke, a colorful psychologist at Emory University. In the mid-1990s, Dr. Duke was asked to help explore myth and ritual in American families.
“There was a lot of research at the time into the dissipation of the family,” he told me at his home in suburban Atlanta. “But we were more interested in what families could do to counteract those forces.”
Around that time, Dr. Duke’s wife, Sara, a psychologist who works with children with learning disabilities, noticed something about her students.
“The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges,” she said.
Her husband was intrigued, and along with a colleague, Robyn Fivush, set out to test her hypothesis. They developed a measure called the “Do You Know?” scale that asked children to answer 20 questions.
Examples included: Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth?
Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush asked those questions of four dozen families in the summer of 2001, and taped several of their dinner table conversations. They then compared the children’s results to a battery of psychological tests the children had taken, and reached an overwhelming conclusion. The more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. The “Do You Know?” scale turned out to be the best single predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness.
“We were blown away,” Dr. Duke said.
And then something unexpected happened. Two months later was Sept. 11. As citizens, Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush were horrified like everyone else, but as psychologists, they knew they had been given a rare opportunity: though the families they studied had not been directly affected by the events, all the children had experienced the same national trauma at the same time. The researchers went back and reassessed the children.
“Once again,” Dr. Duke said, “the ones who knew more about their families proved to be more resilient, meaning they could moderate the effects of stress.”
Why does knowing where your grandmother went to school help a child overcome something as minor as a skinned knee or as major as a terrorist attack?
“The answers have to do with a child’s sense of being part of a larger family,” Dr. Duke said.
Psychologists have found that every family has a unifying narrative, he explained, and those narratives take one of three shapes.
First, the ascending family narrative: “Son, when we came to this country, we had nothing. Our family worked. We opened a store. Your grandfather went to high school. Your father went to college. And now you. ...”
Second is the descending narrative: “Sweetheart, we used to have it all. Then we lost everything.”
“The most healthful narrative,” Dr. Duke continued, “is the third one. It’s called the oscillating family narrative: ‘Dear, let me tell you, we’ve had ups and downs in our family. We built a family business. Your grandfather was a pillar of the community. Your mother was on the board of the hospital. But we also had setbacks. You had an uncle who was once arrested. We had a house burn down. Your father lost a job. But no matter what happened, we always stuck together as a family.’ ”
Dr. Duke said that children who have the most self-confidence have what he and Dr. Fivush call a strong “intergenerational self.” They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.
Leaders in other fields have found similar results. Many groups use what sociologists call sense-making, the building of a narrative that explains what the group is about.
Jim Collins, a management expert and author of “Good to Great,” told me that successful human enterprises of any kind, from companies to countries, go out of their way to capture their core identity. In Mr. Collins’s terms, they “preserve core, while stimulating progress.” The same applies to families, he said.
Mr. Collins recommended that families create a mission statement similar to the ones companies and other organizations use to identify their core values.
The military has also found that teaching recruits about the history of their service increases their camaraderie and ability to bond more closely with their unit.
Cmdr. David G. Smith is the chairman of the department of leadership, ethics and law at the Naval Academy and an expert in unit cohesion, the Pentagon’s term for group morale. Until recently, the military taught unit cohesion by “dehumanizing” individuals, Commander Smith said. Think of the bullying drill sergeants in “Full Metal Jacket” or “An Officer and a Gentleman.”
But these days the military spends more time building up identity through communal activities. At the Naval Academy, Commander Smith advises graduating seniors to take incoming freshmen (or plebes) on history-building exercises, like going to the cemetery to pay tribute to the first naval aviator or visiting the original B-1 aircraft on display on campus.
Dr. Duke recommended that parents pursue similar activities with their children. Any number of occasions work to convey this sense of history: holidays, vacations, big family get-togethers, even a ride to the mall. The hokier the family’s tradition, he said, the more likely it is to be passed down. He mentioned his family’s custom of hiding frozen turkeys and canned pumpkin in the bushes during Thanksgiving so grandchildren would have to “hunt for their supper,” like the Pilgrims.
“These traditions become part of your family,” Dr. Duke said.
Decades of research have shown that most happy families communicate effectively. But talking doesn’t mean simply “talking through problems,” as important as that is. Talking also means telling a positive story about yourselves. When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.
The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.
“This Life” appears monthly in Sunday Styles. This article is adapted from Bruce Feiler’s recently published book, “The Secrets of Happy Families: How to Improve Your Morning, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smart, Go Out and Play, and Much More.”

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Activity Days

My responsibility in our ward is to serve as the Primary Activity Day leader. I hosted our first one at our house last Saturday morning. It was a Valentine theme about loving yourself.

After reading Max Lucado's You are Special to the four girls who attended (Kaleila and sisters De'Ana, De'Shanae and De'Zuray) we filled out a form listing the ten things we loved about ourselves. Then we talked about how we can show love to ourselves, focusing on health, nutrition, and modesty. The girls then designed outfits that reflected a positive self-image. 



As a mama of a little girl and now working with these young girls in Primary, I am often thinking about what it means to be strong, confident, and happy, and how to instill good values in young women. I've read some pretty interesting articles and posts on subjects like modesty and beauty and activism.. There is a constant churning and questioning of ideas within myself. I want to be careful about how I present information to them - to focus on the power and reason behind the choices they make and how it can impact their lives. But it is a struggle to find the right words and to talk about things on their level, in a way that they'll connect with.

One thing that I am learning, though, is that despite how much I agonize over this, and how deeply I want to protect them from the sad things in this world, they are going to suffer at some point. They're going to make mistakes and experience pain, unfairness, and the consequences of their actions. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing, is it? It can be a refining process. Rather than focusing on trying to prevent bad things from happening to them, I'm learning that I need to help them develop the tools to handle those tribulations with grace, courage, and perseverance. I'm working on that for myself, too!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Learning at Home

Mayumi will be turning two in October, just a few months away. Mike and I have been discussing eduation options for her and we are planning to tour some of the local preschools. There are so many philosophies and methods out there: Montessori, Waldorf, Classical, etc. and it's been quite a project doing the research and talking to people about their experiences and beliefs. Right now I like the idea of putting her in a preschool program (when she turns three, which seems far away,but is probably right around the corner!) that meets for a few hours (9-12) each day, three times a week. Socially, this would hopefully be a great thing for her, but we would also like her to have some experience in a more structured setting with other authority figures. I sort of wish there was an option like this for all 12 years of her compulsory education, but since thre is not, I am leaning more and more towards full-time homeschooling. I was quoted in an article about homeschooling on Capitol Hill in the August Edition of the Hill Rag. I'm hoping I have the patience and motivation to see this through - I think I do and I'm really excited (though frightened!) at the prospect of this venture.
Of course, we've been home learning ever since she was born. Some of her recent academic accomplishments include:
- singing the entire ABC song
- counting to 10
- completing puzzles of various complexities
- learning a few words in both Japanese and Spanish
- recognizing various letters, specifically the ones that make up "Mayumi", "Mama" and "Dada".
- knowing many shapes and colors
We've essentially graduated from board books and are now enjoying "paper" books, like Green Eggs and Ham, various fairytales, and even some books in Japanese. She's been having creative art time every day, which includes play dough, watercolor painting, crayon drawing, and even cutting paper with little kids' scissors. Of course, we have lots of singing and dancing in our home, and she loves to play pretend. We try to have a lot of physical time, like playing at the park, playing chase around the house and yard, helping in the garden, etc. She assists me in household chores, like cleaning, folding laundry, cooking, and vacuuming. She's even pretty tech savvy, knowing her way around cell phones, cameras and the computer. So, I feel like she has a good start on developing key skills and learning about the wonderful world around her.
I feel that if I can keep this up, home schooling won't be too bad.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Some bad news from our neck of the woods. I've already started to receive some calls and email to check in; we are all fine and as far as we know, no one we know was on the train. Very sad, though. DC transit train smashes into another, killing 6
By BRETT ZONGKER and MICHAEL J. SNIFFEN, Associated Press Writers Brett Zongker And Michael J. Sniffen, Associated Press Writers – 59 mins ago
WASHINGTON – One Metro transit train smashed into the rear of another at the height of the capital city's Monday evening rush hour, killing at least six people and injuring scores of others as the front end of the trailing train jackknifed violently into the air and fell atop the first.
Cars of both trains were ripped open and smashed together in the worst accident in the Metrorail system's 33-year history. District of Columbia fire spokesman Alan Etter said crews had to cut some people out of what he described as a "mass casualty event." Rescue workers propped steel ladders up to the upper train cars to help survivors scramble to safety. Seats from the smashed cars spilled out onto the track.
D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty said six were confirmed dead. Fire Chief Dennis Rubin said rescue workers treated 76 people at the scene and sent some of them to local hospitals, six with critical injuries. A search for further victims continued into the night.
A Metro official said the dead included the operator of the trailing train. Her name was not immediately released.
President Barack Obama sent his condolences to the victims of the crash.
"Michelle and I were saddened by the terrible accident in Northeast Washington, D.C., today," Obama said in a statement issued Monday night. "Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends affected by this tragedy."
The president also thanked rescue personnel who helped to save lives.
The crash around 5 p.m. EDT took place on the system's red line, Metro's busiest, which runs below ground for much of its length but is at ground level at the accident site near the Maryland border in northeast Washington.
Metro chief John Catoe said the first train was stopped on the tracks, waiting for another to clear the station ahead, when the trailing train, one of the oldest in the Metro fleet, plowed into it from behind.
Officials had no explanation for the accident. The National Transportation Safety Board took charge of the investigation and sent a team to the site. DC police and the FBI also had investigators at the scene to help search the wreckage for any overlooked injured or dead passengers and evidence.
Officials would not say how fast the train was traveling at the time of the accident. The crash occurred in an area with a sizable distance between rail stations in which trains are allowed to travel at higher speeds, Metro spokeswoman Candace Smith said.
Investigators are searching the wreckage for the trains' devices that record operating speeds and commands, NTSB member Debbie Hersman said.
Each train had six cars and was capable of holding as many as 1,200 people. Hersman said the trains were bound for downtown. That would mean they were less likely to be filled during the afternoon rush hour.
The trains had pulled out of the Takoma Park station and were headed in the direction of the Fort Totten station.
More than 200 firefighters from D.C., Maryland and Virginia eventually converged on the scene. Sabrina Webber, a 45-year-old real estate agent who lives in the neighborhood, said the first rescuers to arrive had to use the "jaws of life" to pry open a wire fence along rail line to get to the train.
Webber raced to the scene after hearing a loud boom like a "thunder crash" and then sirens. She said there was no panic among the survivors.
Passenger Jodie Wickett, a nurse, told CNN she was seated on one train, sending text messages on her phone, when she felt the impact. She said she sent a message to someone that it felt like the train had hit a bump.
"From that point on, it happened so fast, I flew out of the seat and hit my head." Wickett said she stayed at the scene and tried to help. She said "people are just in very bad shape."
"The people that were hurt, the ones that could speak, were calling back as we called out to them," she said. "Lots of people were upset and crying, but there were no screams."
One man said he was riding a bicycle across a bridge over the Metro tracks when the sound of the crash got his attention.
"I didn't see any panic," Barry Student said. "The whole situation was so surreal."
At Howard University Hospital, Dr. Johnnie Ford, an emergency room doctor, said a 14-year-old girl suffered two broken legs in the accident. A 20-year-old male patient "looked like he had been tumbled around quite a bit, bumps and bruises from head to toe," Ford said.
Homeland Security Department spokeswoman Amy Kudwa said less than two hours after the crash that federal authorities had no indication of any terrorism connection.
"I don't know the reason for this accident," Metro's Catoe said. "I would still say the system is safe, but we've had an incident."
Monday's crash was the third major subway or commuter rail crash in a big city in the past nine months. In the earlier accidents:
• In September 2008, a commuter rail train and a freight train crashed in Los Angeles, killing 25 people. The crash was blamed on an engineer on the commuter rail sending text messages on a cell phone.
• Last month about 50 people were injured in Boston when one trolley rear-ended another. The conductor admitted to sending a text message when the crash occurred.
No reason was given for the Washington crash, but some safety experts are concerned about the recent increase.
"I'm not sure if everyone in the safety system is paying the proper attention that needs to be paid," said Barry Sweedler, a San Francisco-based safety consultant and former investigator and manager at the NTSB. "These things shouldn't be happening."
However, Robert Lauby, a former NTSB rail investigator, said the increase in accidents could well be mere coincidence.
"Just because you had them doesn't mean there's a specific issue that caused them," Lauby said.
The only other time in Metrorail's 33-year history that there were passenger fatalities was on Jan. 13, 1982, when three people died as a result of a derailment underneath downtown. That was a day of disaster in the capital — shortly before the subway crash, an Air Florida plane slammed into the 14th Street Bridge immediately after takeoff in a severe snowstorm from Washington National Airport across the Potomac River. The plane crash killed 78 people.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

One of the reasons I'm doing a raised bed for my vegetable garden is because of my suspicion that there is lead in the soil. But according to this article, this is not solely an urban concern. So all you suburban readers, beware!

New York Times
May 14, 2009
For Urban Gardeners, Lead Is a Concern
By KATE MURPHY
FRANK MEUSCHKE’S garden, which surrounds the house he rents in Brooklyn, is a bountiful source of tomatoes, snap peas, green beans, peppers, lettuce and multiple varieties of flowers. It is also, as he recently discovered to his dismay, a rich repository of lead. He had his soil tested last month, and the analysis showed more than 90 times the amount of lead expected to occur naturally.
Mr. Meuschke, an artist who specializes in landscape paintings, is well aware of the dangers of lead paint. “You know not to eat while you paint,” he said. And he had suspected that paint scraped off houses in his neighborhood might have left lead residue in the soil over the years. “But I really didn’t expect there to be that much,” he said.
Harmful even at very low doses, lead is surprisingly prevalent and persistent in urban and suburban soil. Dust from lead-tainted soil is toxic to inhale, and food grown in it is hazardous to eat.
Health officials, soil scientists and environmental engineers worry that the increasing popularity of gardening, particularly the urban kind, will put more people at risk for lead poisoning if they don’t protect themselves.
Thanks in part to the influence of the local-food movement and to economic considerations, more households in the United States plan, like the Obamas, to grow their own fruits, vegetables, herbs and berries this year — seven million more households, according to the National Gardening Association, a 19 percent increase over last year.
While the increased physical activity and access to fresh produce promised by this trend are certainly healthy developments, widespread lead contamination means that many people are going to have to do more than wear gloves and sunscreen to garden safely. The presence of lead in soil doesn’t mean gardening is out of the question, but it may require a change in plot design and choice of crops, and soil amendments.
“You won’t know if you’re at risk unless you test your soil,” said Murray McBride, a professor of soil chemistry at Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y., which because of concerns about lead in community gardens began a free soil-testing program last month in cooperation with the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation.
County extension services as well as local public health departments often offer free soil testing or can recommend schools or companies that do it for a fee. Individuals generally mail dirt in sealed plastic bags for analysis. Mr. Meuschke paid $12 to have his soil tested by the Environmental Sciences Analytic Center at Brooklyn College; some private companies charge as much as $50.
The Environmental Protection Agency and Department of Housing and Urban Development advise (but do not require) remediation if lead levels in soil exceed 400 parts per million in children’s play areas and 1,200 p.p.m. elsewhere. But some states and cities have set much lower limits. For example, 100 p.p.m. is considered hazardous in Minneapolis. In the Netherlands, 40 p.p.m. is unacceptable. Unpolluted soil averages 10 p.p.m. Mr. Meuschke’s soil had lead levels of 939 p.p.m.
Since 2003, hazardous amounts of lead have been documented in backyard and community gardens in New York as well as in Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Detroit, Indianapolis, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, New Orleans, Philadelphia and Washington. Lead-laden soil has been found not only in inner city neighborhoods but also suburban areas.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor,” said David Johnson, a professor of environmental chemistry at the State University of New York College of Environmental Science and Forestry in Syracuse, where he has found lead concentrations as high as 65,000 p.p.m. in the yards of upscale homes. “Lead knows no socioeconomic boundaries.”
Excessive lead in soil is the legacy not only of lead paint but also of leaded gasoline, lead plumbing and lead arsenate pesticides. Although these products were outlawed decades ago, their remnants linger in the environment. Lead batteries and automotive parts, particularly wheel balancing weights, are still widely used and are sources of soil contamination.
Soil is likely to contain high levels of lead if it is near any structure built before 1978, when lead-based paint was taken off the market, or if a building of that vintage was ever demolished on the site. Pesticides containing lead were often used on fruit trees, so land close to old orchards is also of concern. And beware of soil around heavily trafficked roadways; it, too, is probably laced with lead. But environmental engineers and soil experts said any place is potentially tainted.
“It’s kind of a dirty secret nobody really knows about because we’re all distracted worrying about lead in toys from China,” said Gabriel Filippelli, a professor of earth science at Indiana University-Purdue University in Indianapolis who has published several papers on lead accumulation in soil. His and other research indicates lead levels in people’s blood correspond directly to the amount of lead in the soil where they live.
“We have been unable to identify the threshold of lead exposure at which there is no risk to health,” said Mary Jean Brown, chief of lead poisoning prevention in the Healthy Housing Branch of the federal Centers for Disease Control. “But we know the risk increases with increased exposure.”
Fetuses and small children, because of their rapidly developing nervous systems, are more sensitive to and suffer the most harm from lead exposure. Adverse effects include damage to the brain and nervous system, lower I.Q., behavior problems and slow growth. Adults may suffer cognitive decline, hypertension, nerve disorders, muscle pain and reproductive problems.
If soil is found to have high levels of lead, experts advise covering it with sod. Those who want to grow flowers or edible crops can either replace the contaminated soil or alkalinize it by adding lime or organic matter such as compost. Soil with a pH level above 7 binds with lead, making it less likely to be absorbed by plants and the human body if the dirt is inadvertently inhaled or ingested.
The White House is mixing lime and compost into the soil for its kitchen garden, which according to a National Parks Service analysis has 93 p.p.m. of lead — an amount above background levels but not considered hazardous to children or adults by the E.P.A.’s standards.
Dr. Filippelli recommends planting kitchen gardens with fruiting crops like tomatoes, squash, eggplant, corn and beans because they don’t readily accumulate lead. Lead-leaching crops, he said, include herbs, leafy greens and root vegetables such as potatoes, radishes and carrots. Dirt also clings to these crops, making it hard to wash off and thereby increasing the risk of ingesting lead.
But some experts advise planting greens, specifically Indian mustard and spinach, for a couple of seasons as phytoremediation, or plant-based mitigation, before growing crops intended for food. By growing spinach for three months, researchers at the University of Southern Maine lowered the lead count in one garden by 200 p.p.m. Of course, the lead-leaching crop cannot be eaten or composted and must be disposed of as toxic waste.
A safer approach, particularly in areas where lead levels exceed 400 p.p.m., is to build raised or contained beds lined with landscape fabric and filled with uncontaminated soil. Luckily for Mr. Meuschke, many of his edible crops are in containers or pots filled with dirt bought at nurseries.
But lead dust blowing in the wind or rain splashing off lead-painted structures can sully food grown even in raised beds or containers. Situating gardens away from buildings is therefore a good idea, as is washing produce thoroughly with water containing 1 percent vinegar or 0.5 percent soap.
“It isn’t that you shouldn’t garden if you find lead in the soil, you just have to manage the space,” said Edie Stone, executive director of GreenThumb, a division of the New York City Parks and Recreation Department that supports urban gardening. “You can’t assume what you buy at the grocery store is any safer.” Peanuts anyone?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

thrifty - or "what we found"


Sometimes we change because we want to: lose weight, go vegan, find God, get sober. But sometimes we change because we have no choice, and since this violates our manifest destiny to do as we please, it may take a while before we notice that those are often the changes we need to make most. We ran a good long road test of the premise that more is better: we built houses that could hold all our stuff but were too big to heat; we bought cars that could ferry a soccer team but were too big to park; we thought we were embracing the simple life by squeezing in a yoga class between working and shopping and took an extra job to pay for it all.

Now we're stripping down and starting over. A platoon of TIME reporters and pollsters fanned out to every corner of the country to measure — anecdotally and empirically — what's changed in the way we set our priorities and spend our money since the Great Recession began. Most people think the pain will be lasting and the effects permanent: only 12% expect economic recovery to begin within six months, half believe it will be another year or two, and 14% believe we are at the start of a long-term decline.

Our institutions watch for economic vital signs. But maybe, for individuals, the sickness is what came before — the hallucination that debt would never need to be repaid, that values only rise, that bubbles never burst. When the markets collapsed, that fever broke. In our assumptions and attitudes and expectations, the recovery is already well under way.

Talk to people not just about how they feel but about how they're living now, and you hear more resolve than regret. Nearly half say their economic status declined this year, and 57% now think the American Dream is harder to achieve. And yet pain and promise are a package deal; even after all this, fully 56% believe that America's best days are ahead. It would be nice if it took something short of a heart attack to get us to work out, eat better and spend more time with our kids. But in the end, where we wind up matters more than how we got there.

Unlike any other downturn since the 1930s, this one has affected everyone, either the fact of it or the fear of it. Even when prosperity returns, 61% predict, they'll continue to spend less than they did before. Among people earning less than $50,000 a year — roughly half of U.S. households — 34% have not gone to the doctor because of the cost, 31% have been out of work at some point, and 13% have been hungry. At the same time, 4 in 10 people earning more than $100,000 say they are buying more store brands, 36% are using coupons more, and 39% have postponed or canceled a vacation to save money. Forty percent of people at all income levels say they feel anxious, 32% have trouble sleeping, and 20% are depressed. After a season of big news, of war and storms and swindlers, pirates and poison peanut butter, 43% are watching the news even more, taking the medicine even if it tastes bad because skipping it could be risky.

The calculus of life suddenly offers new equations. Insurance agents see clients raising their deductibles to lower premiums, or skipping collision coverage for older cars so that they bear more of the risks themselves. Twenty-seven percent have raided their retirement or college savings to pay the bills. Violent crime may not be up, but fear of it is: 40% of people say that since the downturn began, they are more worried about their personal safety. Gun sales at large retail stores have jumped 39% this year, according to the SportsOneSource, a research firm that tracks the sporting-goods industry, and shops are reporting ammunition shortages; they can't keep up with demand.

For all the reflexive analogies, this is not the 1930s, when Babe Ruth took a $10,000 salary cut (roughly what A-Rod earns per swing) and New York City Mayor Jimmy Walker told theaters to show only cheery films. And yet we're channeling our grandparents, who were taught, like a mantra, to use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without. Now, if you can make it, you don't have to buy it: just replace the lawn with a vegetable garden, eat your fill and then store whatever is left. Sales of canning and freezing supplies rose 15% during the first three months of the year compared with the same period last year. Cough- and cold-remedy sales are down 9% because you can make your own chicken soup; vitamin sales are up, maybe because you hope you won't need to. Common sense is back in style, meaning we're less willing to buy what we can have for free: bottled-water sales have dropped 10%. The 137-year-old Los Angeles public library system set record highs in circulation and visitors. And film and camera sales have plunged 33% this year, because who would want this winter in their album?

There's a natural longing to find the upside in the downturn. A college-admissions officer, watching families reassess their means and ends, suggests that maybe the insane competitiveness will recede. The yoga instructor says living more simply relaxes us, as if the entire country needs to slow its breathing. The buyer at the used-car lot feels both frugal and green: that hatchback isn't used, it's "pre-owned," and this counts as recycling. The discount shoppers view their task as a scavenger hunt and take a certain pride in finding the bargain, cutting the deal; 23% of us are haggling more, a profitable contact sport.

No one wishes for hardship. But as we pick through the economic rubble, we may find that our riches have buried our treasures. Money does not buy happiness; Scripture asserts this, research confirms it. Once you reach the median level of income, roughly $50,000 a year, wealth and contentment go their separate ways, and studies find that a millionaire is no more likely to be happy than someone earning one-twentieth as much. Now a third of people polled say they are spending more time with family and friends, and nearly four times as many people say their relations with their kids have gotten better during this crisis than say they have gotten worse.
A consumer culture invites us to want more than we can ever have; a culture of thrift invites us to be grateful for whatever we can get. So we pass the time by tending our gardens and patching our safety nets and debating whether, years from now, this season will be remembered for what we lost, or all that we found.

With reporting by Karen Ball / Kansas City; Laura Blue / Princeton; Laura Fitzpatrick / New York; Steven Gray / Chicago; Hilary Hylton / Austin; Christopher Maag / Cleveland; Betsy Rubiner / Des Moines; Tiffany Sharples / Seattle; Maggie Sieger / Grand Rapids; Alison Stateman / Los Angeles and T.R. Witcher / Las Vegas

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Scary Toys - FYI

1 in 3 toys tested contains toxins, study finds
Fri, Dec 5, 2008 (BabyCenter)
-- A study released Wednesday finds that nearly one-third of children's toys tested contain "high" or "medium" levels of toxic chemicals. Researchers at the Ecology Center, a Michigan-based nonprofit group, tested more than 1,500 popular toys for lead, mercury, arsenic, and other chemicals of concern.Lead was found in 20 percent of the toys tested -- more than any other chemical. Almost 11 percent of the toys had lead levels above the limit recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.Worrisome levels of bromine -- found in flame retardants -- were found in nearly 3 percent of the toys tested, arsenic in 1.4 percent, and mercury in 1 percent.Children's jewelry topped the list as the most highly contaminated product. It was five times more likely to contain high levels of lead than the other types of toys tested."Our hope is that by empowering consumers, manufacturers and lawmakers will start phasing out the most harmful substances immediately, and change the laws to protect children from toxic chemicals," Mike Shriberg, Ecology Center's Policy Director, said in a written release.The chemicals found in the toys have been associated with developmental delays, hormone problems, learning disabilities, and cancer risks. Babies and small children are particularly susceptible to these problems because their brains and bodies are still developing, and because they frequently put toys in their mouths.In spite of the fact that many of the toys recalled over the past 18 months were made in China, leaving some parents hesitant to buy Chinese-made toys, the present study found that tainted toys were not more likely to come from China.Of the toys containing lead, 21 percent came from China and 16 percent came from other countries, according to the HealthyToys.org website, where the researchers posted their findings. Only 17 of the toys tested were made in the United States; of these, 35 percent had detectable levels of lead.The toys purchased for testing came from chain stores including Target, Kmart, Toys R Us, Babies R Us, TJ Maxx, and Wal-Mart, as well as drug stores, dollar stores, on-line retailers and independent toy stores, according to the study methodology posted online. The toys were not chosen following scientific sampling methods and are not representative of all toys on the market.In a statement on its website, the Toy Industry Association took issue with the the report, calling it "misleading to consumers, at best. Healthytoys.org’s statement fully admits the 'testing method' they use is only good for screening purposes. The truth is toys are a highly regulated industry that has been subject to even more intense scrutiny – from industry, retailers, government and consumer organizations – in the past 18 months. And, as we heard form the Consumer Product Safety Commission last month, they have significantly increased their enforcement and inspection efforts and are finding far fewer issues. That is the real news this year."For more information, consumers can visit HealthyToys.org to view the test results for specific toys as well as see a list of this year's worst toys. -- Alissa Merksamer, BabyCenter News