ordinary moments

Dear Maya. I'm sorry Jasmine died. I (heart) you. I like when we went together and looked at the bunny. I (heart) you. Love, Ellen.

Ours is a society that places a high value on achievement and acquisition. The subtle rewards of contemplation, quiet, and deep connection with another human being are held in low esteem, if they are recognized at all. As a result, mothers are constantly pulled in two directions: Can we negotiate the demands of our careers and the world at large, and meet our own emotional and physical needs - not to mention those of our children - at the same time? Can we keep our sights on what is important in any given moment? Do we know how to shut the door, stop the noise, and tune in to our own inner lives?
~Katrina Kenison

It is challenging finding the balance between calm and excitement, leisure and busy-ness. As the photos above show, we have some sweet quiet moments and some other more entertaining outings. Both are wonderful but it is a constant struggle to make sure I'm allowing for plenty of down time. I'm captivated by the idea of developing an inner life as well as a social one, by the hope to develop strong qualities of character in addition to intellect. I've been reading about some of these things in a sweet book, Mitten Strings for God by Katrina Kenison, that my dear friend MaurLo recommended to me. I borrowed it from the library and I've been loving it - it is right up my alley - and because there are things I want to underline on almost every page, I figure I better buy a copy for myself so I can mark it up and take notes. It is a thoughtful, gentle articulation of the kind of mother I want to be.
And on the subject of the kind of person I want to be, a couple weeks ago MaurLo and her kids dropped off a gift for us: a little stuffed bunny puppet with lovely hand-written notes. MaurLo's note described how, upon the death of her mother, MaurLo and her sibling would honor their good memories of her by acting them out. What a sweet and compassionate sentiment, and one that is perfect for this theatrical family. A bunny puppet to help us remember our sweet little Jasmine bunny.
Back in January I articulated my hopes to be more thoughtful as one of my resolutions. MaurLo and her family are the epitome of this value and I aspire to be more like them.
We've been blessed to have a wonderful community of caring, inspiring friends and we get to share many delightful, sweet moments with them; observing butterflies, climbing trees, making artwork, eating ice-cream, and playing. Just as sublime are those moments at home, making music, splashing in the tub, snacking, reading...
Simple, ordinary, wonderful.

a change in plans...

Yesterday we discovered that Mayumi has been accepted into the kindergarten class of Washington Yu Ying Public Charter School. Though the plan (at least for me) has always been to homeschool, the arrival of the twins (and the challenge of caring for them and being able to give Maya the attention and focus she deserves) made us question those plans. We applied for several schools, including Brent and Watkins (two out-of-boundary public schools), Tyler's Spanish Immersion program, and Capitol Hill Learning Group (a private home/school hybrid that still has many appealing aspects) but our first choice was Washington Yu Ying because of the Mandarin immersion, the International Baccalaureate program, the inquiry-based learning curriculum, the environmentally friendly philosophy, the rave reviews from other parents... and when she was #3 on the waiting list we realized that this was truly a viable option.
When we heard she was accepted we were pretty happy (it is so competitive and we got in!) and enrolled her immediately. Filled out all the paperwork, brought it over to the school, got a tour - and as we walked around that building fear and dread started to fill my heart. Aesthetically it doesn't look any different than most schools; cold tile floors, little cubbies for jackets and backpacks, cutely-decorated bulletin boards, a rug in front of a white board for circle time, tables and chairs (in lieu of desks) and lots of little plastic bins and organizers. I must admit that I much prefer a more Waldorf classroom environment with natural elements and warm, nurturing corners designed for play and imagination. But most of all I worry that this experience will confirm all my fears about industrialized schooling that I have. I'm already annoyed that I have to plan our family trips based on her school vacations and I'm horrified and the length of the school day (8:30-3:30!) and I know I will be furious if they assign homework on top of that.
Mike and I stayed up late, agonizing over our decision, wondering if we're doing the right thing, devastated that our little girl is growing up and leaving the nest. And this is only kindergarten! Oh my, imagine us when she really leaves us for college!
But it is still something we'd like to pursue. Despite all our fears, there is also hope and excitement that she will thrive and enjoy this kind of environment. And we are reassured in the knowledge that this isn't our only option. If at any point we feel that this isn't the right thing for her and our family, we can always pull her out and homeschool her as planned. Though, of course, we are committed to giving this an honest, enthusiastic chance. I truly want my Maya to be happy and to have a wonderful educational experience, and perhaps this will be it. I loved school as a child and I think she will too.
So here we are, preparing for a new chapter in our lives, going down an unexpected road.
I guess I better brush up on my Chinese!

by the shore

Oh glorious Maine. Every time I'm in that beautiful state during the summer I beg Mike to find a job there so we can live there. I know winters would be brutal... but oh, the summer!
We rented a little house in South Portland for 3 nights - it was a charming two bedroom bungalow called the Pilot House. Just a five-minute walk to Willard Beach and right up the street from Scratch Bakery and Willard Scoops; it was perfect. Amazing bagels, ice-cream every night (the blackberry and Maine blueberry were A-MAZ-ING!), plenty of relaxation on the beach, a walk around Mackworth Island to see and build some fairy houses, Corey's first haircut, dinner at The Farmer's Table, a Portland Seadogs game, a stop at Two Lights ... oh my goodness, we must make this an annual tradition. We purposely overlapped our vacation time with our DC friends the Cymrots and Pittards, who had rented a house right on Willard Beach and it was lovely to be able to spend some time with them, too. Sithoo spent the entire time with us and Chris and Sandra drove up on Friday night too. It was perfect, just perfect. Do I keep saying that? Because it really was perfect and I just want to make sure that's how it is remembered.
After we checked out on Saturday, we just hopped in the van and drove all the way back to DC in one fell swoop. The kids were superstars.
But as wonderful as our week in New England was, I still have to say that it was good to be back home in DC.