2012.

2011.

No doubt another great year.

owh yeh shit happened too but somewhat negligible.

a lot of good things. a lot of blessings in disguise.

i'm very blessed.

2012 marks the year of me leaving my student life for good.

i'm anxious+excited to see what working life has to offer.

but then again, leaving my student life and the life in UK that I built for 5 years, now that's tough shit.

I'm pretty sure I will be sad as hell.

However, life has to move on and in a way, I'm kinda glad that I'll be back in Malaysia for good.

so 2012. I welcome you with open arms.

Happy New Year everyone!

The Weight Issue

omagad! that's like triple of the old Mischa.

A healthier looking J Hudson.

Throughout my 22 years of life, I don't remember a single moment where I was overweight or obese. I had always been skinny. When I just came into KTJ at form 4, my weight was only 45kg with the height of 5' 6". yes, i was dead skinny. the nickname given was SKELETON. However, I was skinny due to my very high metabolic rate. Some girls in KTJ actually starved themselves to be as skinny as me, and I can never understand how being skinny is attractive. I have always been a big eater, with massive consumption of carbs in my daily diet. I can actually eat like a man. heck, I can even eat more than some guys that I know.

When I started college in Cambridge, I started gaining weight, but very slowly. I came to about 52kg. I looked much healthier. and I enjoy buying clothes even more coz I can actually fit into size 8. I used to be a size 6, and some stores don't actually have that size.

My target weight is 60kg. so up til last summer, i was already 58kg.

i recently checked my weight...

and i'm now 62kg!

I don't know where that 62kg came from, but i'm assuming it is due to the massive amount of food consumption and probably muscle weight from all those intensive netball trainings.

I'm very much happy with my weight now, though.. I realise that it is time to maintain rather than gaining. which is tough coz all my life, my goal was to gain weight.

So, does this mean.. decreasing my food consumption and regular exercise?

anyways, i'm a size 10 now. i can still my old clothes, but u know la. sendat sana sini. perut terkuar and shit like that.not funny.

whatever it is, I think staying healthy is the main thing here. mind you, I get annoyed when HEALTHY LOOKING girls say they look fat and want to lose weight. I can understand perfectly when a fat girl says i need to lose weight, and my response to that would be, that's good coz u should. no, I say this not for her to be accepted by the public, but for her own good health. and you skinny bitches out there, stop wanting to lose weight coz if being called skeleton is what you want, then I have nothing to say to that! and stop scrutinising at every detail of your body.. coz it gets worse everytime you do it. and by doing that you're just deteriorating your self-esteem.

*LOVES*

Highlights of 4th year so far

MSSM AGM 2011

The 4th and last Detention party (it's an annual event)
The Manchester Malaysian Netballers 2011/2012
Dublin Games
and we won our FIRST GOLD MEDALS!
The four awesomeness
Just a happy face! =D

*LOVES*

Week 10

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry I have been neglecting you.

truth is, i have been really busy as usual, juggling both coursework and studies. and of course, social life. and i am getting pretty good at this.

well my previous post seemed a bit depressing.

i was not used to having to deal with 2000-word essays. mind u, i have 3 of them due in next week.

i think I have been managing my time quite well, i refuse to make my life all about studies and coursework. i always love a simple balance between real life and work. and so i did.

2 weeks ago, was at Nottingham Games for netball tournament. if i'm not mistaken, there were about 30 teams, and we came to a third place. not bad huh? considering this is the 2nd year we got medal in Nottingham Games. we lost to the former champion in semi-final. definitely heart breaking, as we came 2nd last year. fought til the end for a 3rd place and we got it.

i became even closer with my netball girls. think it will be worse than break up when i have to leave the team by end of the uni year. =(

MSSM AGM was less than 2 weeks ago, and so it marked my official retirement from MSSM. I stepped down as the official advisor of the society. it was a joy working with the outgoing committee as they actually exceeded my expectations. the new committee seems to be promising and i hope they will improve the society besides continuing the legacy that we have passed down from year to year.

it has been a wonderful journey and now the first term of final year is almost coming to an end. my biggest fear right now is not doing well for my first term exams. i am going to Malaysia regardless, coz I need a break and obviously i need to see my dear niece who's almost 7 months old now.

job application is not going so well. i only got a community pharmacy pre-reg placement, but i'm not too keen on it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... it is very likely that i will be going back to Malaysia for good. i think 5 years in UK is enough. it's time to go back and serve the country and hopefully start a great working life there. moving back to my home country sounds like a bliss, but... i'm thinking how the hell am i suppose to pack all the shit that I've accumulated for the 5 years? owh eff.

*LOVES*

And so I hardly have time for myself

I really thought third year was busiest year we'd ever have.

owh no. i was wrong.

Fourth year is the SHIT.

the shit. i swear.

I'm in uni every weekday. 9 to 5 is pretty normal nowadays.

I'm always high on adrenaline due to my busy schedule that's why sometimes I don't stop working til when it's my time to go to sleep. thankfully, I'm not insomniac.

I have 6 modules in total this semester. on top of that, I have a whole year project going on, and also presentations and coursework due.

I am trying to keep myself up-to-date with all the lectures, so I revise on daily basis.

and when you think weekend is for me to get a good rest, oh no no. u got that wrong.

weekend is netball time. we have 4 hours of training every weekend. but when it comes to netball, i don't really complain coz i enjoy every minute of it.

newsflash, my team won our first gold medal at Dublin Games! that was my first gold medal after playing on the same team for the past four years. Alhamdulillah.

on a lighter note, last weekend was a short getaway. We went to Dublin and I instantly fell in love with the city. Irish people are amazingly nice and GOOD-LOOKING TOO. Had a great bonding time with my teammates, and I just realised how close we've become. I think since we had new players coming in last year, the team became more lively and close. good times!

so we conquered Dublin. our biggest game of the year, Nottingham Games is in 2 weeks time. I'm sooooo excited for this! since we enjoyed our bonding time so much, we decided to drive down to Nottingham and stay for a night there. hope Nott Games will be another success. Amin.

owh I kinda got a job offer here. when I said "kinda", it means i got the job provided that I get my visa sorted first. well, UK government's being a pain in the ass with the new policy. so will see how it goes.

*LOVES*

Manchester and 4th year

been wanting to update my blog long before i board the plane back to manchester but unfortunately been quite busy until now.

so I arrived in Manchester on the 14th.

unpacked my boxes and luggages the day after.

had a small bbq with the MSSM committee on 16th.

went down to London for Nadia's birthday on the 17th and stayed there til 20th morning.

London was good. I loved the weather. then came back to gloomy Manchester.

Fourth year just started 4 days ago.

and i am so looking forward to the pile of work that I will have to do all year round.

owh.. i'm staying with Kaizan and Francesca in a private student accommodation. our apartment is pretty cosy and my room is as big as my room in Malaysia. or maybe bigger. pretty cool. been buying some stuff to decorate my room so that it's not too empty.

I miss my family, friends and cats and I probably had the worst homesick recently (coz I never had homesick). I have to blame this on my niece coz i miss her the most. argh.

life in Manchester ain't too bad. but i can't help feeling a bit empty without Nadia around. i went to London and for the first time in 2 years I didn't stay at Aina's. my God. i swear it's such a big adjustment for me. but i think i'm adjusting well. I haven't shed a tear yet (I tried) so I think I'm OK.

i'm also scared for fourth year. I have a project which consists of researching etc and it's a whole year thing. I want to get first class for my MPharm degree but it means giving up my social life. gah.

Applying for work is a bitch too coz i'm a friggin international student and you British peeps don't wanna hire ME!

I JUST REALISED THIS IS A DEPRESSING POST. LOL.

Sorry guys!

Clock is ticking

Time can really take you by surprise.
I just realised that I have about 3 weeks more until I go back to good ol Manchy. and i think 3 months in Malaysia has made me miss Manchester, like a lot.

In my previous posts, I was probably dreading the fact that going back to the UK this time will be different. I don't know whether it is going to be worse or better. but i'm optimistic that my final year in uni will end with fireworks. it will. i will make it happen. well.. ok not the fireworks.
but i will make sure that i enjoy my final year.

afterall, i'm still not sure whether i will be staying UK for pre-registration year or not. so it could be my final year in the UK as well. which got me thinking on how to get rid of my ridiculously large amount of clothing.

owh well. three weeks. i shall spend it wisely. i know staying at home seems unproductive, but i really do love staying at home. i enjoy taking care of my niece and annoy my family members with my never-ending rambles. so yes, next week will be raya. i can't believe puasa is ending so soon. but i can't wait to get fat during raya.
wheehoooooo.

it's been an awesome holiday at home. i'm blessed.

*loves*

Riots and break ups

Facebook is actually like watching daily news on TV3.

i get the latest news from there. don't have to go on TV3 or BBC no more.

latest currently is the crazy riots caused by chavs in UK. Chavs are also known as the British mat rempits, only that they don't ride motorbikes unlike the rempits here and they're like at the lowest level in the British social class. they're poor and mostly are unemployed (unlike rempits here there are a few quite well off).

well, I am quite confused how this has been going on, and it's spreading throughout UK like wild fire. you guys should go on BBC. some of the rioters were interviewed and omg. you can't believe how stupid they are. and coming from ppl from a developed country, really? some of them said they joined the riot to show off to the rich ppl that they can do anything they want. some wanna proof a point to the police. and some said they join for the sake of getting free stuff. omg. how stupid can these people be? makes me feel even prouder to be a Malaysian. i think even uneducated Malaysians are way more civilised.

anyways, enough about riots. another thing that i came across on my fb newsfeed is... a lesbian couple broke up and they really really have no shame in publicising their frustration with each other. and i was like WHATTTTT????? i swear my newsfeed was flooded by their nasty statuses and wall posts. please. this does not only go to a lesbian couple. to all the couples in the world. please, if you break up, there's no need to publicise EXCESSIVELY. we get your point. you broke up. you're devastated. publicise it once on fb and THAT'S IT. there's no point prolonging the publicity. in the end of the day, you're only gonna push your ex away and the probability for you to reconcile is 0.

HAIHHHH... anyways, it's puasa month. we should be doing good, rather than shit. i tell that a lot to myself. i'm not the best of the best Muslims, but there are times when I have to know when to draw a line. cross the line, a hell to pay.

It's August and this means Ramadhan!

HAPPY FASTING IN THE MONTH OF RAMADAN AL MUBARAK, MY FRIENDS!

July just ended, and now we're starting August! which means, i have about 6 weeks til I come back to good ol' Manchester. I still haven't bought my tickets though. the initial plan was to come back early and do a short trip to Turkey (visiting my ancestors, as they said), however, I checked the flight tickets went up to 200 pounds and so i think we will have to postpone it, won't we? so now I'm contemplating whether to go back on the 14th Sept or maybe later on say.. 20th? I will have to pick a date where I have my friends flying with me, or else I would die of boredom. I used to have Aina everytime I fly back or from UK. haih.. kena cari flying buddy baru laa cam ni.

last week was a great fun. my good friends, Syamsuddin a.k.a Sudu is back from Egypt and Nina is back from Indonesia. was great to finally see them.. after what? a year? damn. anyways, these ppl go way back when I was in SMSJ. whenever i come back to Malaysia, i always make it a point to spend as much time as i can with them. not only Nina and Sudu, the usual ppl are me, Maliq, Shera, Jaja, Azzy, Nina, Al and Batch. i've met up with all of them except Batch, whom I'm expecting to come from JB soon or I will very very upset if I don't get to see her before i fly back to UK.

owh what else is new? yes, my infamous partner-in-crime/ex-flatmate, Nadia Anwar Tan is back in Malaysia and I was touched that I was the first person she called up when she's back. that's coz she needed an instant bitching session. bless her. and yet, she had to ditch me on Sunday afternoon for her grandma. I shall have to forgive her for that.

apart from going out with friends and taking care of my niece, I have just started on reading Harry Potter series, and God knows how many times have I done this. revisiting Hogwarts, ppl. within 4 days, I finished the first 3 books. i love the feeling of getting sucked into the book.

that's it for now. I wish everyone a blessful Ramadan! a reminder to myself and my readers, pls avoid committing sins, and do more good in this month!

We grow up.. a bit too fast! nooooooooooooooooo

this month, i saw the pics and statuses of my dear friends who graduated.

CONGRATULATIONS!

sadly, that also marks the end of their uni life, which means some of them are leaving me!!

Nadia Anwar Tan and Tan Shang Neng.
both of them are leaving me for London to do their BAR. sad.

Aina Sakina and Hazim Abd Rahman left UK for good.
started working already.

and many others have left Manchester and UK for good. only the 4 ppl above i will really feel their absence when i start my final year in Sept.
i know i won't be alone in Manchester, coz i still have my other friends, but these ppl really were a big part of my uni life. and now. they're gone. aiyooo.
ok emo post. sorry.

the thing is, time flies a bit too fast. if i were to graduate this month, I would have graduated with BSc Pharmaceutical Science degree. but what the heck, that degree would only allow me to work in pharmaceutical companies. so another year I will have to go through to become a qualified pharmacist.

I am currently applying for pre registration trainee pharmacist job in UK, which will commence after my graduation next year. i really want to work in the UK, and my dream would be to work in a hospital. unfortunately, it is very competitive and difficult to get that job. so i am also applying to community pharmacies. to be honest, i didn't enjoy working in a community pharmacy as much as i did in hospital pharmacy. Community is a bit too monotonous. soooo.. we'll see. worst case scenario, i might just come back to Malaysia for good coz i will be guaranteed a job in Malaysia anyway. i actually have 2 options, provided that i get atleast one offer from one of the pharmacies i applied to.

u see, 5 years ago, i was in KTJ, not sure of my career path.
4 years ago i was in Cambridge, decided to pursue Pharmacy.
3 years ago, i started MPharm degree in Manchester.
and now, i've started applying for jobs.
next year Insya Allah, i will be a graduate and start my career as a pharmacist.

damnn that was a long way, but felt like it happened too fast.

Silence speaks louder than words

is it really?

we live in a community that talks. gossips. bitch.
heck. i do all that too. but not unnecessarily. or maybe that's how i wanna justify this disgusting behaviour. i do try to abstain. FAIL. it is disgusting really, especially when one thing leads to another. words traveling from mouth to mouth, and when it comes back to me, it sounds similar, but not exactly the same as the source. even worse, may sound totally different!

that's when I learned that we can never trust 100% what people say until you hear from the direct source. words can be twisted, changed etc til the whole thing became different to its original.

people find it thrilling to find out about new gossips. gossips coming from people's response. but what if a person refuse to respond and keep quiet about a situation? now, that is when speculations come out. people speculate, and sometimes make that person look bad for me, there are just some things that i chose not to publicise. why?
1. coz i don't care
2. coz it's insignificant
3. to avoid unnecessary drama

apparently number 3 can't be applied no more coz when ur silent, ur actually creating drama. well life's tough nowadays so you have to deal with it.

so what if shit comes out due to your silence? you have options
1. u can blog, twit and update ur fb status and pour ur heart out
2. brush it off like an annoying fly and don't do any sort of public response

From my past experiences, this is what I learned and I think I should share with my readers.
Silence is actually a key to a peaceful mind. when you're quiet, it means you know you're right and you have nothing to proof to the world. When you're silent, does not mean you bottle up your negative feelings or whatsoever, but instead you look at that shit in the most pitiful way, brush it off and move on with your life. When you're silent, it means you're indifferent. Afterall, the opposite of love is not hate, but it's indifference. coward not to defend self? nah. why defend yourself when you know those were just gossips. and people who are smart enough should atleast find out the two sides of a story. as long as you and people close to you know the truth behind it all, then there is nothing to fear. you know who you are, what you have done and what have you not, and that is all that matters.
On top of that, when you're silent, you know you're the bigger and better person.

*loves*

Growing up with Harry Potter

this week is all about Harry Potter.

The final movie of the series will be out tomorrow night.

I remember that I started reading Harry Potter when I was 12.

when i was in standard 6, i remember seeing my classmates carrying Harry Potter books to school and whenever there's break in between classes, they would open their Harry Potter books and read silently. I couldn't understand. What's so great about Harry Potter?

My written English was a bit rotten (even til now), so to improve my English, my mom bought Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for me when I was in form 1. My sister was the one who said to my mom that the book is good to improve English. So, i started reading the book and I instantly became hooked onto it. it was magical, the way Rowling described everything in the magical world, i could actually pictured everything in my mind. So, after I finished that book, I started to buy all the other books! i also watched the first movie. i thought it was awesome.

since then, I became a Harry Potter freak. I remember pre-ordering the last 3 books and read them as soon as I got hold of them. I remember the times when I teared up reading the books. I remember being one of the first ones to watch each of the Harry Potter movies.

when Rowling announced that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is the final book for the phenomenal series, it was heartbreaking for me. year after year i was looking forward to each book and movie, and now it has come to an end?

So, here's to Harry Potter and the cast. i think watching you guys from when you were 11 and til now all grown up, that's magical.

gonna miss Harry Potter! wanna watch on Wednesday night itself, but a bit too late so will zoom off to the nearest cinema on Thursday morning to catch the earliest show with my lil bro.
second round with you, Maliq. ko jangan risau. lol.

*LOVES*

Bersih ke?

argh. another boring weekend and this time coz of this famous Bersih 2.0 rally that was happening across KL from morning til evening.

really? serious mengacau hidup orang ok. can't even leave Shah Alam coz everywhere else was jam.

i really do understand the purpose of this rally and the message they are trying to convey to the government. but what i don't understand is, did it have to be like this?

if it really was NGO, why were the Pakatan leaders there too?

And the rm1 million funding? Where did the money come from?

Yes, the government is corrupted. there is no doubt about it. but I was thinking, if Pakatan Rakyat were to be the ruling party in this country, what's gonna happen? will they not be corrupted? did you people really believe that they were 100% corruption free in the last election?

sorry to say people, there's no such thing as a Bersih government/election. Afterall, politics is known to be dirty and the Bersih rally was definitely a tactic to kick BN's ass in the next general election. BN has been a disappointment for the past few years. the scandals! the corruption! i hope this rally atleast opened their eyes in order to be the better party and kick Pakatan Rakyat's ass in the general election.

i certainly refuse to see Malaysia fall to the hands of Anwar Ibrahim and Lim Kit Siang.

Hello! I’m still alive and I am all well, back at home. I’m on my 3-month holiday break and I am loving it! It has been a real blessing being at home and I can never ask for more than what I have now. Alhamdulillah.

I reached home on the 23rd June at night. Mummy, daddy and Dian picked me up from the airport. I was in the same flight with Aina from Dubai to KL. That would be our last flight together from Dubai. Aina is back home for good. Argh. Everyone seemed to graduate this year. I teared up a bit when I was on board coz I was typing a long message to my flat mate, Nadia Anwar Tan who has been putting with all my crap for the past two years.

Seriously Nadia, I don’t even know how you could keep up with me. This year may have been a rollercoaster ride for you and I, but I couldn’t have made it through without you who are constantly and never failed to be there by my side. The best thing is that you are more passionate about my petty little shits than I am, even up til NOW! You will have to get ready with numerous phone calls and skype sessions from me next term. Lol. Thanks for everything, Nad. If I could name a person who has been my backbone for the past 9 months, the award goes to you, hands down.

Little mushy up there, but hey, just showing some love. Hahaha.

Well I have been a part time babysitter for my little niece, Hailie Deandra. She is the most well behaved baby I have ever met. She doesn’t cry unless if she’s hungry. She enjoys being cuddled and talked to, and weird thing is she’s already trying to talk! Baby talk, I mean. she’s only 6 weeks old, but not acting like one. Very active too. The other babysitter, Aunty Jenjen just flew to HongKong for conference and then will fly back to US next month. Pfft. So I’m the permanent babysitter at the moment.

I’ve also applied for a part time job at a local pharmacy. I got it, but the pharmacist told me to start next week. A bit too soon, no? I haven’t started to feel restless. I think coz I didn’t have a proper rest after my exams til I flew back home. It was hectic! But now I have all the rest that I can have in the world. Phew.


Exam results were out too. I didn’t do great, but I did well enough to be able to go to the next term. I know I could have done better, but I had prepared as well as I could. An overall 2nd upper class. I doubt that I can get 1st class. Maybe my brain capacity was only at its best up til pre uni. Lol. What the heck, third year is done babeh! It’s final year now! It accounts for 70% towards my degree so if I really wanna get first class I will have to get 75% for my final year. Say bye bye to my social life. Pfft.

As for holiday trips, I went to Bali with Dian last week and on 17th will be going to Langkawi with mummy, daddy and Qahl. Ok. Overdose leisure. And I might not be able to go for another trip with my friends. Big boss won’t be happy. I have yet to plan my short trip before uni reopens. Adoiii.

Last but not least, i'm very much contented now coz i finally have my Subang peeps near me who never failed to fill our short outings with laughters and gossips and of course, food. i love you guys.

Sorry this post is too lengthy. Guess to many things to update.

*LOVES*

MALAYSIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

for days i have been procrastinating.. packing is the most horrendous thing ever. owh wait. i think unpacking is even worse. whatever it is, i'm pretty much done now. just waiting for the storage guy to come and collect my stuff. my body is aching too from carrying those heavy boxes. argh.

anyways, long flight tonyte. dreading it pls. zzzzzzzzzz

updates in malaysia soon! i'm sooooooooooooooooo psyched! =)

3rd year is overrr!!!!!!

Owh yes! 3rd year is finally over!

finished my exam on the 6th.
and then i started my summer placement at Co-operative Pharmacy in Marple Bridge the day after.
i wish to complain. really i do.
but i'm grateful to be given the opportunity to do this.
i really want to be able to do my pre registration year in the UK and work another 1 or 2 years here.
fingers crossed.

the placement, to be honest, shouldn't be as tiring as doing hospital pharmacy, but because the staff and i can't sit down throughout the working hours (except during lunch break), now that is just painful. but i'm glad that atleast i get to know how working in retail pharmacy is like. it is ok, but i have to say, hospital pharmacy is better. probably coz i got the chance to work in a hospital pharmacy with a nice working environment with friendly staff. don't get me wrong, the staff in the pharmacy i'm working at now are really nice people. but there are only 4 staff, and it gets a bit too quiet sometimes. and being me, i'm no quiet ok. lol.

yesterday my Cambridge bestie, Iqa came to visit me. had a great time yesterday, thank you for coming sayang! and it's so hard to see you! but i know stories overload gila yesterday sbb lama sgt tak jumpa. hope next year will get to see u more when i go down to London. love u! ooohh.. my friends and i did a Singstar marathon! from 6pm til almost 12am. bloody hell!

life in general has been good. third year was great, but some of the things that i had to go through were totally unnecessary. and looking back now, how petty those things were! but hey, on the bright side, i learned more. not for one second did i even regret my decisions. that was the time when i decided to be selfish and put myself first above everything else.

I love how my third year was a lot more slow pace and how i had more time for myself and friends. think it was more chilled and relaxed. and third year really taught me about people. learned how to accept who they are. but if i decided that i couldn't put up with someone, distance is definitely my one and only option. i have to admit, i miss my first year the most. second year was the peak of my uni life and no matter how hectic it was, i loved every second of it.

i'm going back to Malaysia next Wednesday (22nd june)! i can't wait!

and sooooo it's down to 2

i'm done with my 4th paper, Pharmacology!
i left the exam hall with a smile.

well the thing is. i was screwing my brain by memorising the hundreds of drug names and the mechanism and the receptors etc for the past few days.
and omg it was one of the most challenging subjects ever.
if you ain't got the memorising skills, Pharmacy aint for you.

so yeah.. i had to train my brain. did all the past papers i could find and pretty much memorised the answers. ad thankfully, more than half of the questions were from past papers so fingers crossed, i hope to get a high 2 1 or first for this. pretty please.

my next papers will be on 2nd and 6th June and i'll be done by after that yeahhhhhhh!
can't wait!
so the next few days i will be more chilled. =)

OWH WHAT THE EFFERS.

OWHKAY.
3 papers down.
3 papers to go.
really. what the eff man.
everyone else is like either done or have 1 or 2 more papers only.
are u friggin kidding me?

sucks being a pharmacist.
we work our asses off during exams.
but in the end of the day, we don't get the recognition like doctors and dentists do.

hehe. just felt like ranting.
well i'm just a bit moody thinking of my whole family is at home.
owh wait, minus me and Boy (in KTJ).
yep, Dian a.k.a Aunty Jenjen is at home.
uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


and i'm stuck in this &!%&(#% country!!! and exams aint helping y'all!

owkays need some chilling. eheh.

Hailie Deandra binti Mohd Nurhaimi

Hello people! Meet my newborn niece, Hailie! (pronounced as Hay-lee not HAI-lee)
Was born on 14th May at 1.03pm.
2.85kg.
a healthy pretty baby girl indeed.

Eventhough I'm like thousands of miles away from my family, felt as though i was there. Ratih kept on bbm-ing me from the moment when her waterbag broke til after Hailie was born.
she kept on telling me how painful it is, until like around 10am she said, ok cannot take it anymore. asked for the epidural injection. like around 12pm she started pushing and then.. little Hailie finally came out at 1.03pm! and straight away got a phone call from Mama, baby's out!

the pic above was taken like a day after she was born. i think she is gorgeous, just like her name. and please don't ask me that crap.. eee kenapa nama matsaleh sgt. i ain't in the position to answer that. but anyways, Ratih's been sending pics of Hailie on daily basis. all on my bb, not bothered to upload on my laptop.

ooooooooooohhhhhh can't wait to come home already!
Aunty Nini loves you, Hailie.

_________________________________________

apart from the good news, i'm currently in the midst of exam period. more like PMS for the next 2 weeks. omg. can't wait for this semester to be over. wheeeeeeeheeeeeeeee!
one down, 5 more to go!
it's tiring! all i can think of is drug names and QSAR and therapeutic proteins for now.

wish me luck.

and my flight back to Malaysia is on.... jengjengjeng... 22nd June.
i'm reaching on 23rd!
26th - off to Bali with sis Dian!

hope to be back in UK by mid Sept and will need to plan for a short holiday before class commences on the 21st Sept. Istanbul anyone? hehehe.

bring it on final year. i can't wait.

ON HIATUS

EXAM STRESS KICKS IN FINALLY!


arghhh i hate this sem's modules.

so anyways, life has been pretty much the same.
sometimes i wonder whether i realise that exam is in 10 days coz i'm effin relaxed.
i should be studying 8 hours a day.
but seems like i can't go more than 4 hours.
owh well.
i've covered most of the material.
just that i need to start memorising.

come on! i need to feel the stress to study even more. arghhhhh. not enough stress. how?

anyways, this blog will be on hiatus for a month.
i will only write a new blog post if there's anything particularly new.

for now, EXAM EXAM EXAM.

ALL THE BEST FOR EXAMS PEOPLE.
STUDY SMART.

I MISS EVERYONE AT HOME!
owh sistah, please go into labour a.s.a.p. seems like my niece is pretty stubborn coz she still doesn't wanna come out.

*LOVES*

It takes a lot to become a pharmacist. pfft.

exam timetable is out.

first paper 19th May- Drug Metabolism and Disposition

25th May - Rational Drug Design (two papers)

27th May - Pharmacology 2
2nd June - Disease Management

6th June - Social Pharmacy.


argh. i don't really like some of the subjects this semester. i'm annoyed by the fact that i don't even have the mood to read for those subjects. damn.

i have started my revision since i came back from Gran Canaria. pretty slow. and shit loads of info especially for Pharmacology. really. now i understand why med students hate Pharmacology. even after 1 hour reading it, i can feel like my brain is fried.

anyways, right after i finish my exam, i will be doing 2 weeks placement at Cooperative Pharmacy. finally they confirmed the details with me. quite lucky to get this placement. seems like the Brits really cut down on giving jobs or even summer placements to the international students.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER!
anyways, my sis, Ratih is almost due. omg. her tummy is friggin huge now. wish i could be there when she pops my niece out. =(((( hopefully by end of this month or early next month you'll hear the happy news.

soooo.. the plan is, as soon as i finish my placement, i will take a flight back to Malaysia. hoping for no resits, i will come back to UK around mid September. sounds like a plan eyh?

will also apply for internship in Malaysia. *fingers crossed*

*LOVES*

Easter!!!

Hola!
few days ago, just came back from Gran Canaria. and it was amazing!!!
much needed break! yehhhh!
the trip was tiring, however we managed to fully utilise our time so yayyyyyyy!

now back in Manchester and trying to study as much as possible.

weather is damnnnn nice now. everyday is like 17-19 degrees. so bring out the summer clothes and pack all those winter clothes into the box.
hence the reason why i cant study during the day. just feel like going out every friggin day.

i just realised uni year is coming to an end.

and next September, will start my 4th year. omg.
stop the clock please.
and i'm starting to feel sad.
my best ever flatmate Nadia will be leaving for London after she graduates in July.
damnnn no more bimbo flatmate to be bimbo with and to bitch with. haiyo.

next uni year will be staying with Kaizan. he's in his first year now and got to know him for the past few months and we're quite close already. so yep, i have a little brother to live with next year! will be living in a student flat like literally seconds from my uni building. it's a 3 bedroom flat (the 3rd person is random so we expect he/she better put up with our shit or off you out of the flat!). hoping 4th year to be another great year! amin!

a little something i learned.
anger is NOT the way to go. you can be all angry at that person but in the end of the day, you realise that you wasted your precious energy on people who are insignificant and waste of space. so when you feel like getting angry, take a deep breath, and tell yourself, it's not worth it and totally unnecessary. why waste time and energy on insignificant people?

*LOVES*

The Excuses

this is like an epidemic, really. it happens to all people.

generally, when you can't get something done, you would give your teammates/colleagues etc a whole list of excuses! my cat died, i was sad, i was busy, i was talking to someone, i just broke up, i'm not feeling well.. and it goes on and on and on.

that's friggin normal. but some people are just bad at giving excuses and in the end all you hear is a pile of BULLSHIT.

Owhkay. this is another thing that i discovered about myself just recently.

Sometimes, i give excuses for other people's wrongdoings. and then when i reflect on it again, i feel like crap coz the only question came to my head was "why did i even back him/her up?"

it's not a sense of guilt. it's more like stupidity. because only later on i see his/her true colours and defending him/her was a completely stupidity. owh dear.

so the lesson is.. if your friend or whoever you know is doing shit, and you feel the need to look at the brighter side and giving excuses to your other friends on his/her behalf, i can just tell you one thing.

don't be stupid.

if it's wrong, it's wrong.

don't justify it.

don't make excuses as though he/she is not really doing shit.

and also, don't listen to people's lame excuses.

It's Spring Time!

SPRING!! HOORAYYYYYYY!

The past few days, it's been hot and sunny here. okay the definition of hot here is 14 degrees and above. and yes, sounds quite cold but really when you get too used to 5 degrees and below, and suddenly the temperature shoots up, owh yes, that's a sign to wear less clothes and take ur sunnies out for a stroll down the park!

i love spring! when the flowers start blooming, and the sun shines like more than 8 hours a day. yay! but knowing the English weather, this is just going to last for a week then back to gloominess. yikes.

anyways, last weekend was Warwick Games. my netball team came 2nd again. argh.. the previous week was Sheffield Games and we also came 2nd. dammit.. but heck. i love netball and the adrenaline rush of it. and whenever my GS and GA score a goal, make me wanna touchthe sky. yeh! so netball season is officially over. don't think i'm ever gonna quit, planning to continue til the end of uni life. and every year, i get really awesome team mates! love it!

hmm... i think i need to make a shout out to people. when your friend tells you that she/he just broke up with bf/gf, please don't go all sympathetic. seriously, that's the last thing you would wanna do. soo what you should do is just say, " owh really, what the hell happened?" rather than "omg why?? i'm so sorry to hear that". FYI people, NOT ALL break ups are shit and bad. some are just meant to be and definitely for the best. some couples may look perfect in public, but you have no idea about the internal problems. so please don't go saying, "why break up?? you guys seemed perfect together". nah ah people. that's a no no. don't go all optimistic on the past relationship, people. you should be saying, "don't worry, you'll find someone better".

ok people. this is a lesson told by yours truly. take it or leave it.hehe.

*LOVES*

Favourite Quote of the Day

Quoting the best ever housemate, NADIA ANWAR TAN

"Annis, some people tried to climb up the ladder, stay there for a little while, and then fall back half way. But some people, already on top of the ladder, and then fall back to the ground and they stay there coz the ground loves them. Don't waste your time to even think about this people."

this may sound like a self-absorbed statement, but heck.. that's what i see here. social climbing whores who tried to make it but they fell back all the way down. downgraded. they tried to climb up the ladder again, but can't. u know why? coz they're just not meant to be on top.

owh please, in life, you don't have to try hard to please people. just be yourself. but sometimes, that self is so boastful and annoying and you just have to accept that this is one of the many kinds of people in this world. they're A WASTE OF SPACE. and i cannot tahan how people tried to show much concern towards you, but behind your back, you learnt that they just don't care and their main intention is just to kepoh. and what's worse u learn that they talk shit behind your back and in front... owhhhh... "i'm here for you" that kinda shit.

I DON'T BUY IT!

i am being bitchy. yes. but i wish i could chuck some people out of Manchester and make this city a better place.

in the meantime, ignorance is bliss.

Shrinking appetite and i'm worried

NO I'M NOT LIKE THE TYPICAL GIRLS WHO ARE WORRIED THAT THEY EAT A LOT

I'M WORRIED THAT MY APPETITE IS SHRINKING! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW CAN THIS BE?????

anyways, i think it's coz of my netball training. my tummy is shrinking, hence the smaller amount of food intake.

it usually takes a lot for me to feel full but nowwwww... haihhh.. i even had to force myself to eat! wtf!

Miss Independent

current song playing on my laptop *playlist on shuffle*

and i love this part of the song

ooh there's something about

kinda woman that can do for herself

i look at her and she makes me proud

there's something about her

there something oh so sexy about

kinda woman dont even need my help

she said she got it she got it no doubt

there's something about her

I LOVE YOU NE-YO!!!!

*LOVES*

woiiiiiiii takde keje lain kee org melayuuuuu

haishhh nak buat camne. ni nak mengutuk kaum sendiri ni. aku geram sbb benda ni ada kena mengena ngan aku gak.

owhkayy. ppl.

ppl's business is ppl's business.

especially when it comes to ppl's private lives.

there is a fine line between caring and just plain busybody.

if you care about that person, you wait for him/her to talk to u about the problem. then you discuss and you give ur opinion with the hopes to find a good solution.

if you're just plain busybody, means that the person whom ur "concern" with didn't even tell you about his/her problem, but you have yet the courage to ask him/her about it just because you heard it from someone else.

adoiii.. what to do.

and pls ppl. don't make assumptions if you don't even know the root of the problem.

pokoknye, jangan jaga tepi kain orang. jaga kain sendiri cukup. melainkan klau orang tu suro kau jaga tepi kain dia. ni laa masalahnye skrg. cuba korang gi cari keje ke ape. haishhh kesian tul la.

___________________________________________

owhkay kawan2. saya dah settlekan masalah saya semua, Alhamdulillah.

benda yang baik settle cara yang baik okeh? now klau korang tak tau cite, jgn pepandai buat assumptions. aku tak ganggu hidup korang pon.

____________________________________________

i have been blessed with a wonderful weekend. eventhough my head's been quite off lately (just settled everything today), i have every reason to be grateful for.

got my exam results. not great, but far better than i expected. Thank God. i passed them all. =)

weekend in London was filled with laughter, just by hanging out with old friends.

my sister is happily 7 months pregnant.

last but not least, serabut head gone. back to old me.

*LOVES*

Thankful

the past 2 weeks have been crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

my mood went up and down like i don't know what but everything that has happened, happened for some reasons. and i somehow saw that silver lining already. Alhamdulillah.

now just wanna get things over and done with.

fyi, i am going to Canary Islands from 11th to 15th April.

yeh yeh lets work on that bikini body ala Jennifer Aniston in "Just Go With It". owh yes please watch that movie. it was funny and i just couldn't stop laughing.

my exam results will be out in the next one or two days. omg. *faint*

work has been increasing slowly and i'm slowly picking up the pace. but with what i'm currently going through, it seems a bit hard to keep up with the current work.. well you know distractions adoiiii...but kept pushing myself again and again. by hook or crook, i make sure that i revise (even if it means 1/2 hour or 1 hour) everyday.

i'm being a nerd.

but heck, my social life is still lively, Alhamdulillah. maybe not as lively as 2nd year but just have to keep it as interesting as possible

owhhh yessss i'm going to London tomorrow! after sooooo long not been to London town, yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!! much needed short holiday. and i really miss Aina! eventhough she was in Manchester like 3 weeks ago.

ooh and going to Imperial College Malaysian Night. yesssssss laa!

every cloud has a silver lining. though, i choose to see the silver lining only =D

*LOVES*

The Tudors

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

the new term has so far been a bit boring. owh well first week. what can i expect.

my timetable is not as busy, and most of the days i finish by 12 pm. i was glad, but then i just realised how i am too used to being a busy bee.

this week was a bit unpleasant. normal me, PMS-ing. throwing tantrums. mood swings. we women are hormonal. so men, PLEASE UNDERSTAND! owh.. and i skipped my lectures on Thursday coz of the menstrual pain. argh. not fun.

referring to the picture above, i have been spending most of my time watching this tv series. something different atleast, not the normal chick flick bimbo tv series nowadays. basically this tv series, The Tudors is about the life of King Henry the 8th. if you have watched The Other Boleyn Girl and loved that movie, i think you would love this as well. so yess, there are only 40 episodes in total, and so yeahh.. now you know how jobless i am here.

anyways, i feel like i'm getting old. i don't enjoy going out as much, so i spend most of my time at home. i feel like i've turned into a boring person. i need some excitement.

*LOVES*

New Semester!

finally!! end of exams!

just started the new term like yesterday lol.

my new timetable seems to be a bit more relaxed. last term's timetable was definitely hectic. argh.

everything seems to be fine at the moment.

i had quite a rough exam period. just too much pressure coz I really wanted to get first class for my third year. but now, I can only pray and hope that I'll be able to pull off a second upper class, atleast.

this term, gonna work even more harder. though, I feel like it's pointless coz in the end of the day, the exam stress and difficulty of the paper determine your grade, no? owh well.

now i'm feeling BORED!!! i only had an hour of class today and now i'm in my pajamas already and it's friggin mid day. sometimes, i love exam period coz i know how to occupy my time. but now. hmm. what can i do?!

anyways, thought of the day.

I can't stand the sight or thought of how people enjoy cheating on their bfs/gfs.

are you fucking kidding me? if you feel like fucking around, leave your bf/gf a.s.a.p. there's no such thing of getting the best of both worlds.

ok this has nothing to do with my current relationship. but seeing what people are doing nowadays, it seems like a friggin trend. and it makes me feel vulnerable too.

fuck around. owh yeah. follow the western culture.

HELLO! wake up, you're Asians! even worse, some of you are Muslims!

another thing that I can't help but bitching about is the fact that many women nowadays are turning into sluts. are you kidding me? sleeping around is bad enough coz it makes you have a loose pussy, but stealing other woman's man? HOW DESPERATE CAN YOU BE? have you got no self respect anymore? how can these bitches sink so low? you know, as a woman, you should understand another woman's feelings better. men think with their dicks, most of the time. try stripping down in front of 10 guys and tell me which one of them can resist from knocking you down. 1 out of 10? or probably none? but woman.. you are meant to think better coz you have better empathy and understanding and the fact that we are the more sensitive gender. SO WHY??

Another thing that is despicable about women nowadays is they can't get enough with one dick. they need a few, atleast. dear women, we all have sexual desires when we see hot men but that does not give us the right to bang every dick we come across. it's not a flattering sight, really.

i'm writing this post coz it makes me sick seeing how people are nowadays. and i'm scared too. my bf has been good to me, but it makes me feel vulnerable when i think of what women are capable of these days. *vomits*

*LOVES*

I still have YOU!

I lost something.

i was sad. maybe still a bit sad. but i'm not grieving over it.

I think i'm gonna be okay.

coz I realised that i actually got it back, but maybe in another form.

so now. i'm cool with it.

lesson learned: when you lost something or someone, it's not a total loss. sooner or later, you'll realise that you'll get it back.. may not be the same thing or the same person, but just know that it's for the best.

I JUST FINISHED MY FIRST EXAM.

I HAVE 5 MORE TO GO AND 11 DAYS TILL THE END OF EXAM PERIOD. YAY!

A pleasant morning

i am a morning person.

i love doing things during the day, get them over n done with, then.. at night.. just chill and relax then go to bed.

went to bed at 11.30am and woke up fresh at 7am.

thank God.

then studied for almost 2 hours and now i'm just taking a break.

my exam is starting in 3 days! i just want it to be over A.S.A.P!

on a lighter note, i'm still deciding whether i should go shopping later. hmmmphh..

it's January sale here and almost everything is like 50-70% off. so yehh.. u can imagine how crazy i can go =)

i'm feeling a bit homesick. maybe coz i'm alone at my flat. Nadia hasn't come back yet. =(

Manchy Land

landed in Manchester last night.

flight was 1 hour delayed. grrrr. owh why Emirates. i think you should try to be more on time. it's pretty annoying to wait, u know.

touched down safely at 7.40pm. passed the immigration and claimed my baggage.

luckily had a friend on the plane so decided to get a taxi together to go home.

reached home at 9pm. phewwww

argh. now i'm having jetlag. slept at 2am woke up at 11am. thought i slept a bit too much, that's why. soooooooooo sleepy. so at 2pm i slept again, with the hope to wake up fresh after 2 hours.

but noooooooo... 7pm!!!!!!! gile babiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!! 5 hours nap.

still feeling sleepy! but managed to do a bit of revising for about an hour. hehehe.

huhu. i misss homeeeeeee. berat sangat nak tinggalkan rumah. =(

Take A Breath, Take It Deep

being at home made me realise how lucky i am to be me.

now that the holiday is almost coming to an end, i'm like owh shit. I don't wanna leave.

and owh shit. back to reality.

i'm leaving the people that i love here.

and i'm not going to see them another 6 months.

then again, i'm going back to Manchester to be with the people that I love there.

having two homes for the past 4 years. now that's weird. but then again, i'm grateful.

may not have all the people that i love in one place, but atleast i have them in both places.

may not be the same, but that's life.

there are things that I need to settle back in Manchester.

exams, studies etc.

so as much as I hate to leave, I still have to leave.

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Where's the momentum gone to?

i had revised throughout the university term.

may not be everyday, but before i came back to Malaysia, I pretty much covered ALL the lecture materials.

so the goal when I'm back to Malaysia is just to TRY memorise and maybe do a bit of additional readings.

so i did.

it's the 3rd week since i came back to Malaysia.

and i have already lost the momentum to study.

why? well.. imagine reading through the same shit over and over again.

i may not be able to remember every single word coz i don't have a photographic memory, but seriously khatam byk kali aint solving ANYTHING.

argh. well. what to do. and hey, my "favourite" time of the month is back!

owh my god.

it just adds up, doesn't it??

boooooooooooooooooooooo

owh here's my exam timetable and i bet you're gonna love it.

17th January - Oral exam for OTC medicines. 1 1/2 hour.Probably the easiest of all. basically just have to interview a "patient" and ask him/her what's wrong yadayadayada.. and then recommend a medicine. owh there's also a written paper, but open book. hoping to score for this please!

19th January - Pharmaceutical Microbiology. probably not that difficult, but this is my least favourite subject. so if i do score for this, AMIN!

21st January - Chemotherapy. definitely the hardest but I LOVEEEEE THIS SUBJECT. the shitty thing is.. you just can't miss a word from your lecture notes. if you do, you may be screwed. and i didn't do well for the mid term test. FML. i'm just hoping for the best.

25th January - Pharmacology. my favourite subject too. but MCQ and negative marking's a biatchhhhhh! but i'm gonna try my best to score this one.

26th January - Phytotherapy. basically herbal remedies. interesting but sometimes i just don't see the point of this subject. may be one of the easiest to score. so shall try.

28th January - Disease Management. i love this too. basically need to see a prescription then find whatever that can be done to correct it. drug interactions etc

third year may be a bitch but i really do enjoy what i'm learning. makes me even more eager to graduate and work!

*LOVES*

No Sunshine Without Them

friends may come and go.

but the best ones stay forever.

i met up with Shera, Maliq, Batch and Jaja today. these people are probably some of my oldest friends. Batch, i have to say you got the award for being my oldest friend. hands down.

12 years down the road. thats a hell lot of memories.

I know Shera, Maliq and Jaja at pretty much the same time. form 1.

have been best friends with Shera since form 2.

Jaja, being one of my closest friends since form 2.

and Maliq.. you're my best boyfriend ever since i don't know when. form 3? haha.

looking back. we all grew up together up til end of form 3. then form 4 Maliq and I left SMSJ.

And yet, we still managed to maintain the close ties even in different schools.

we constantly missed each other's presence.

now we are all scattered. regardless how busy we are, if we're back home, we always.. ALWAYS have and will make time to meet up with each other.

we're all turning 22 this year. ok. Maliq and Shera -21. haha. we've come a long long way. and yet we still manage to maintain our friendship.

i'm so grateful to have you all in my life.

okeh korang hold your thoughts. i'm not being emo or anything. just being grateful =D

to my favourite SJians - Shera, Maliq, Batch, Jaja, Aliah, Syam, Nina, Azzy.

this post is dedicated to you all.

with love.

Happy 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

1.1.11!

2010 was awesome.

slight glitches and such, but still memorable and loads of beautiful memories. Alhamdulillah.

as for 2011, i'm not gonna make any resolutions.

there's no need to have any, coz if i break it, then it means i'm not being true to myself.

i just came back from a short break with my family. went to Melaka. nothing much there, just enjoyed the good food.

i've been studying everyday, but God knows how much info that i have to fit into this tiny brain of mine. i'm just hoping for the best. and who says no such thing as studying when back at home? of course, home has a lot of distractions, but it's up to u to actually divide ur time wisely.

spare 6-8 hours of studying a day. 8-10 hours of sleep. then i have bout 6-10 hours to do anything that i want. that's a lot of spare time, really.

fingers crossed. i'm hoping for a first class in my third year. Amin.