paraphile

Not so much on the girlfriend now, but I have a couple of sort of groupies I guess (which is weird, and not altogether positive).

I'm thinking of starting to go to fetish events more, but it's really hard to actually care enough.

Actually choosing among a bunch of things, the worst of which wouldn't be bad at all, is so novel.

My life is now converging on perfect. Woo. Finally.

I'll be back in the land of earthquakes and psychotic riots in a few months. I think my level of emergency preparedness paranoia is going to escalate...I wonder what the odds are for some kind of natural disaster followed by people acting like utter morons in the next 5 years.

I haven't been particularly horny for a long time, but when I do get horny, I crave really dirty, animalistic sex -- bareback, anal, force, people swallowing cum, groups, snowballing, bisexuality, defiling, dildos shaped like dog cocks, etc. Sigh.

I have had the most amazing vacation so far, and I have months more to go. The only thing I'd really like to change is to lose 20-40 pounds and build up my fitness level, since the fun new sports I've discovered would go a lot better if I were in peak condition. Luckily, that is going well.

I still haven't had any sex (in 2010; actually or in 2009...), but I don't miss it all that much. I would like to change this as well.

I have gone through 2.5 bottles (8.5oz) of silicone lubricant, solo, in the past 4 months. That pretty much summarizes my activities and accomplishments this year to date.

My "start january 2010, stay maybe a couple months, then get back to your scheduled life" thing seems to have turned into late july 2010 at the very soonest, and possibly until early 2011."

I am spending the time exercising, taking up cigar smoking, reading 2-4 books per week, and working on some side projects. Unfortunately I don't have the time/energy/bandwidth to work on my main startup project while here, but I've made contacts so raising funding won't be too hard (plus, I should have enough saved to not need much income for a few years, if I live cheaply).

The only thing I *really* want is to get <180 pounds (I'm 5'10") and be able to score 80% on a USMC physical fitness test for my age. Unfortunately, that will take at least a year and more likely two of remedial effort, plus of course ongoing effort forever. I'm trying to pick up some outdoor sports that I enjoy enough to keep doing, but while I'm hear, it's limited to weights, cardio, running, or walking. Meh.

meh. limbo.

I have not had sex in 2010. Or in the last 12 months. There is something seriously wrong with this!

Life is now basically ok. I still need to decide exactly which awesome job to take, and pick out the nice loft to live in for the next few years, but I think I've finally adjusted to this lifestyle and enjoy it.

It's weird just how little has objectively changed in the past few months (mainly just accepting that I'll leave well paid but boring/crushing job, and give up on nomadic lifestyle), and how much happier I am about it. And the weird thing is the thing I was most concerned about (having to actually find income once I leave the well paid boring job) was the least stressful; I'm actually going to make more and have a better job with both more enjoyable work AND much better long-term prospects.

The only thing I am really giving is having a 9mm on my thigh all day, and making up for that by being able to open-carry at home and in the office, a 10min walk between the two, and going to shooting camps every few months to refine tactical skills, is enough.

Woo. 2010 is probably going to be pretty good.