i know this community is irrelevant, what with mike having cut his hair several times since it was founded.

but i'm going to remind everyone just how lucky they are to have mike hogan's hair in their life. it is coiffed and unruly in all the right ways. make sure to keep mike's hair in your prayers, because one day in the far future it will be gone and all you will have are the memories.

does anybody else have this crippling urge to erotically tug on mike's tufty sideburns as if they were handles on the stairway to heaven?

i propose calling them loveburns.

mike looks better in my hair [circa spring break] than i do!

Mike's hair grows faster than anyone I know. You may be overestimating how much endurance this is going to take. A swift disposal of any razors and steak knives could do it.

Also, have you considered brainwashing? Placing long-hair propaganda all over the house? Mike Hogan may not SEEM to impressionable, but Sarah Silverman with a talk bubble would do wonders.

"As many of you know, I am going to tell you the truth, as I know it, about hair. So the answer to "instant hair growth" is that there isn't any. There is no magic bullet."
http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip214.htm

this is going to take endurance, kids.

watch out for when mike goes to "do stuff in other rooms."
WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, AND IT NECESSITATES CONSTANT VIGILANCE.

also, alan is a bad egg.

ok well here's a fun, sassy look that i think would look superb on micheal's noggin: