You know, it's odd that I first decided to get married almost 4 years and and I've now been married for almost 2 years, yet I still find myself struggling to understand what a marriage is, even just what it is to me personally.

Logic and my 5 senses tell me that marriage is a piece of paper on file at the court house in Hillsboro, Oregon, granting Josh and I certain fun legal privileges. Yet I have never, not for one moment since being married, believed that that is what a marriage is. But that has left me with a puzzle... if marriage is not the thing I can hold and my hand and order a certified copy of, what exactly is it? What is it made of? Where do you find it? How did it come into being?

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xposted: long_term_love, afterthewedding, young_marriages, happymarriage, my journal, and a private group

Hello all!  Just want to introduce myself a bit.  No sense in joining a new community if you're just going to be a wallflower, right?

I met Daniel at a very different time in my life - almost a transitional phase for me.  So by the time we got married, I was already a different person that who he had met the previous year.  In retrospect, we probably weren't ready to get married, because he hadn't really gotten to know the new me.  But we did, and here we are!  We're celebrating our 2-year anniversary in May, and I can honestly say that I am just now learning how to be married to my husband.  For the first year, every little thing got on our nerves...because we truly didn't know one another.  This whole second year has been devoted to just getting closer and learning more about each other's personalities.  I'm forever evolving my personality, and I'm a little hard to keep up with :o).  We're the funny couple that everybody wants at their parties, because we get along like best friends.  That was the problem for a long time, but we've basically decided that we would take that and run with it.

I'm looking forward to reading the posts in this community.  I love reading the journals of married couples, because it lets me know that we're not the only couple with major issues.  That's comforting :o).

Hey everyone! My name is Jenn, and my hubby and I have been married for 270 days on the 25th. ( I only know that because thenest.com told me LOL, no I'm not that crazy) I just thought I would say hello. I like sharing experience about married life, So thanks for adding me to the group and come check out my journal.

I got married 3 weeks ago and I realized that I didn't show you guys any wedding pics. so here they are.
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I'm stumped! I know the traditional gift is something paper, but we're not really sticklers for tradition (and he doesn't read recreationally!)...I told him that I'd like a nice jewelry box, since I have a lot of earrings/necklaces that I'd like to keep in one place. But he doesn't have any suggestions for himself! He hardly buys anything for himself (except expensive electronic toys every once in a while), so he's very low maintinence. The only hobbies he has are his guitar and WoW, so it's hard to come up with ideas... :-/ The only thing I've come up with so far is an extra guitar stand since he has 2 guitars and only one stand, but that's about $15 and not very romantic ;)
What have you given your hubby as an anniversary gift? Doesn't have to be for the first anniversary, I'll take as many suggestions as I can get! :)

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He does fantastic work so I'm hesitant to offend him by pestering him anymore, but I'm just getting really concerned. Before I go issuing threats of refunds and revoking payment, I wanted to see how long after your wedding you married gals waited for your proofs/albums to come in...

Before my husband and I got married, we had similar interests but very different hobbies...now I'm trying to find something that we both can enjoy and do together on a regular basis.

I'm pretty athetic but have kind of let myself go since we got married (I've gained 15 lbs since we got married in August) -- it's way to easy to be lazy since he's lazy. He's not into athletics at all but loves video games, really one in particular: World of Warcraft. We both agreed that we should do something active together since he needs the exercise, but my favorite pasttime, cycling, is definitely out because I'm way above his level and he'll get a complex about it :-P He says he likes raquetball but hasn't played in almost a year. I've come up with several suggestions but nothing's perking his interest at all and I'm getting pretty frustrated with the whole thing. I even tried playing WoW with him to show that I was interested in compromising and sharing our favorite hobbies (I have to admit it's fun, but I'm not addicted like he is), but it's only resulted in me playing more WoW and exercising less, hence the 15 lbs :-P

Has anyone else but me had this problem? What do you guys do with your husbands for quality time together? Do you have any suggestions on making exercise fun for someone who's not very fit, just to get into it? It's been so long since I started exercising that I'm used to the discomforts....I know in the end it will be a question of him having the motivation to do things other that WoW, but I'm just curious as to what you guys do with your hubbies (whether it's active or not).

*X-posted to married_life*

my overly-happily married friend Natalie sent me this.

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. "I'd like to be six again." She replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was to ride, she rode. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach was turned upside-down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie where she sipped a soda pop and munched happily on popcorn and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again??"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed, as she said, "I meant my dress size, you dumb-ass!"

Oh, let's see...  *waves* to people I know...

I'm Sandra.  I have been married for 8 years but living with Gary on and off since 1989.  Sheesh, that sounds like a long time.  I'm 36, he's 35.  The kids are (eeek!) almost 7 years old, 4.5 years old and 4.5 months old.  We currently live in Baltimore but can't wait to go home to NY/NYC as soon as possible.  I'm doing a p/t WAHM thing, he's working f/t from home, and we homeschool.

Tonight I am feeling bad about my role as a wife.

I want to be a Good Wife. My husband is really smart and together, anything you'd want to bring home to mama. And I feel like I am failing him due to *baggage* (see me 40 inch hips, two kids, and untreated childhood PTSD).

Today we had an Issue come up and I felt bad. I am sick of cowering whenever we Talk about something. That's pathetic! He loves me, I love him, he's strong and dealt and deals with his own shit, I should too, right?! I want to be strong and stuff (and need to, politician that he is). I want to heal, get better, not be a mental wreck.

This is not good! I want to be good at mothering (which, FYI, I am. It's the one area in my life I have not been an utter failure due to the PTSD). I want to be good for him as he is for me.

Shit. I scored a 178 on my LSAT and I know I can do this, be as good and worthy of him but damn I want to get it TOGETHER and do it all. I am lucky he Gets It.