a lifetime of worry

It has become somewhat of a tradition for us, since Yuki came into our life, to go downtown the day after Thanksgiving to take in the whole Christmas thing. Not necessarily to shop, but to walk around and look at things--seems like a thing that you should do when you have a kid. So we made a plan to go out to lunch, then walk around a bit, ride the Christmas carousel, then go see Happy Feet 2, which was something Yuki wanted to see. Sounded like a good afternoon plan. We get ready to go out and Yuki grabs a stuffed baby penguin Philip bought her just a week ago at the zoo, because it wanted to see the movie too. We tell Kiddo that it is her job to keep track of penguin and she agrees. We get into a restaurant and have a nice lunch. We then split in two directions. Me to a store to pick up a gift for my father, and Philip and Yuki to the carousel just across the street. As I finished shopping, Philip texts me to say they are done too. Perfect timing. We reunite and start walking ...

Kiddo, not surprisingly, had a lot of questions when her Baba died (FYI, "Baba" is kid-Japanese for Grandma, "Jiji" is for Grandpa). She was pretty direct about the whole thing. Before the funeral, when her Baba's body was in the house she was very interested in seeing it. She did comment that it looked like she was sleeping and she did ask as to where, if she wasn't here anymore, did Baba go? At times like that I wish I were a religious man. It must be nice to have the Heaven (or Elysium Fields or Fólkvangr or whatever) answer in your hip pocket. No questions. No doubt. BAM! She went there. End of story. But I'm not. So I don't. I think we landed on something about Baba being with her angels up above. I made sure to mention that a little piece of Baba will be inside of Kiddo forever so please take care of it. For anyone wondering, this is what a four-year-old wears to a funeral in Japan. Our four-year-old, at least. A few days ago she wanted...

We almost forgot to do one of these this year. Right before Kiddo and Mama went out for all the free candy Kiddo can carry, Mama remembered. So I got a couple real quick. And for any of you who need a refresher... Halloween the first. Pippi Longstocking. Halloween 2: Electric Boogaloo. Foofa! Halloween 3-D. Caterpillar(?). Halloween 4, Mariners 1. Word up, it's Word Girl! Halloween 5. That's this one. But before I slap the picture in here, I have to admit that we made a rookie parenting mistake. Kiddo asked in early September if she could be the pink Power Ranger. Well, at first she was all set to be Super Martian Robot Girl (much to her father's delight) but when I made the mistake of letting her watch the Power Rangers, she just wanted to be the pink one for Halloween. I resisted at first, but Mimi admonished me, "It's her costume, let her be what she wants." So we found a pink Power Ranger costume online and then we didn't buy it immediately. And then ...

I owe you a follow up on the trip to Japan (which is still in progress for the two ladies of the house) and the events that took us there. I will write it soon. In the meantime, let's all just look at this picture of Kiddo running to the playground at Inokashira park, because it fills my heart with gladness. Amid severest woe, we carry on.

Our house is full of sadness right now. Kiddo's grandmother, Mimi's mother, our dear Janet passed away Tuesday night after battling several ailments for the better part of last year. She went quietly in the hospital with her husband, son, and her two older granddaughters by her side. I think the word "remarkable" gets used a lot at times like this, but I can think of no better word to describe her. The trials she endured, the things she accomplished, the life she made... Rest in peace, Dear Janet. You made the world a better place.

Mimi is home. We've had a lot of catching up to do. More soon.

I believe I speak for all of us when I say: We are in the home stretch. House is... kinda clean. Will try to not get sick when Mama gets back.

Tonight I learned that Kiddo is working on a new show. One with the improbable title of, Maggie Who Gets Up and Goes to the Blow Up Exploder . Not sure if that is a working title or the final. I do know that it's about Maggie who makes fireworks for inside so they are quieter. Because sometimes if fireworks are outside they are too loud and people could get scared so she does them inside so they are less noisy. (I'm paraphrasing.) Kiddo plays Maggie. Hoddie plays the sister. Also, Hoddie's mom is "the ticket giver" at Hoddie's theater in the town of Friendship. You have to get your tickets from her. And then she drew this, which I am told is the show poster for Put Your Legs In Front of Me . That's Hoddie on the poster. She is wearing "fake short hair." She put all of her real hair up and put on the fake hair. (Paraphrasing again.) Sigh. I was going to do a lot of other things tonight but I fell asleep in her bed for an hour-and-a-half. The house...

I had a longer post planned for this evening, but Kiddo went to sleep around 10 and then I had an IM conversation with Kiddo's Mama for an hour instead of writing. In short, Kiddo was in a jolly mood most of the day, except for a brief bit of clinginess when I dropped her at school (dropped her OFF, I didn't drop her). We ate hot dogs for dinner (she had two, I had one) did Floor Skype with Mama and Ciocia Gibs (seriously, get on this Skype thing, rest of my family except KT who is already on it), then drew pictures of robots and fireworks and our family. And because I should probably mention it, my dear mother-in-law is making some progress. Still a little weak, but her appetite seems to be returning and that is a great sign. I have no doubt that Mimi being there is a huge help, both practically and emotionally. Okay, it is late and I am starting to collapse from lack of sleep and I am losing the battle of keeping the house clean to my tendency to make piles everywhere I go, s...

Some days you just need to spend time with people your own age. Today that is what we did. It made for a much better day all around.

Well, in terms of "looking for signs that she might be stressed," today we had a doozy. She just started a dance class at a studio near our house. Today would have been her second session. Her friend, Lyla, is in the class. Her teacher looks like a giraffe. Anyway, the plan was to go to dance class, have lunch with pals AJ and/or Natalie, then take Kiddo to her first ever comic convention. We'd been talking about it all week. Here's what happened. Took kid to her dance class... She wouldn't go inside. I went in with her, helped her get her shoes on, made sure she saw Lyla, and told her I'd be right back and that I'd stand outside the whole time. Nothing doing. It was like that day at school when she wouldn't let go. But worse. I begged. I pleaded. I cajoled. I bargained. I threatened. The teacher came over to see if she could help. Lyla came over to see if she could help. Nope. I took Kiddo outside so the rest of the class could start. We sat on a benc...

Just a couple of quick notes for a Friday. For those of you who demand closure, the milk carton has been delivered. Thank you, Baba, for playing along. In imaginary sister news, I learned that Hoddie has a brother but Kiddo does not know his name. Also, the play "Put Your Legs In Front of Me" is about a princess. We don't know any more than that, but it opens next week. We also took her bike to the park. Notice I didn't say we "rode" her bike. She walked it in and I carried it out. Whatever. But we did make some "park friends" which was her goal for the evening. They had a fine time on the merry-go-round and I became "that guy" who pushes everybody else's kids too fast until they all get sick. Go me. And we went out to dinner tonight to sandwich place that makes mac & cheese that Kiddo likes. But whatever conglomerate of Wisconsin dairy farmers established the joint think it's a good idea to serve the mac & cheese with a s...

So, last night Kiddo didn't go to sleep until (wait for it) 11:15. I wanted to punch myself in the face. It'd be one thing if she'd just keep herself amused until all hours, but she still very much wants me in the room with her until she nods off. I think it's especially acute with Mimi out of town and is probably one of the signs that she's a little stressed out. I am keeping my eyes open for those. I let her sleep in this morning but then ultimately had to bribe her with TV Breakfast to get her to get dressed and get the hell out of bed (though not in that order). TV Breakfast became Car Breakfast (car waffles are becoming a staple) but I got her to school by 9:20. Then she did that thing where she ran halfway out to the playground until the invisible rubber band that connects us snapped her back to me. She hugged me and wouldn't let go. Her teacher came over and we all chatted for a while and Kiddo was smiling by the time I left. And speaking of signs that so...

So. Here we are. If you've been by lately, you probably read that Mimi's mother has been a little unwell. After some consideration, we decided that she (Mimi) would go to Japan to check on her mother (and father) and see what she could do to help. We put her on a plane this afternoon and she should be there in a few hours (as I'm typing this). It is a necessary trip but a hard one for us. I know people go away on business all the time, leaving one parent home with the kid(s), but that hasn't been our way. I think in the 4-1/2 years of Kiddo's existence, the three of us have been separated for exactly one night. I'm pretty sure we growed-ups can handle it, but we've been really worried about the kid. Or we don't think we can handle it and are putting all of our worry on her. Or something. In some ways, it isn't so different than when Mimi is in rehearsal. Those nights are just Kiddo and I doing our thing, and we have a pretty good rhythm. I am sometim...

We make every effort to be honest with our kid. Especially when she asks serious questions. It's a delicate balancing act, finding ways to explain things in a manner that she'll understand but that won't be intimidating. So far it's worked out well enough. Though a few conversations about reproductive organs have led her to prance around the house chanting "Penis, penis, penis, penis!" Lately, though, she has been asking a lot of pretty deep questions. I will now turn it over to Mimi for a retelling of her recent interrogations. We have many friends who recently had babies or are about to have babies. Yuki has yet to ask "Why don't I have any siblings?" or "Why don't you have a baby in your tummy?" Thank God, but it has triggered some conversations. The first one was when I mentioned that I saw our friend's baby the other day and she asked, "He is still out?" So I explained that once babies come out, the...

Sitting at the kitchen table, eating dinner. Kiddo notices her Dora water bottle. Kiddo: Daddy, Dora doesn't have any eyelashes! Me: She doesn't? Kiddo: No! Me: Do you want to give her some? I'll get you a pen. Kiddo: Yeah. (pause while Daddy fetches a pen) Boots is a boy, right? Me: Yeah, Boots is a boy. Kiddo: Boys don't have eyelashes. The End.

In which we hear a story that might have made sense to someone at some point. BONUS! What happens when Kiddo runs her own camera.

A few weeks ago, Mimi and I were out for one reason or another and Kiddo stayed home with a babysitter. Now, we've been graced with a string of truly wonderful babysitters. I know what a source of stress it can be and I don't mean to boast of our good fortune, rather I just wish to acknowledge how that in the babysitter lottery, we hit all the numbers. On this particular evening, Kiddo's babysitter was a fine young lady named Rhiannon (and for you Fleetwood Mac fans, yes she was and yes she knows). Rhiannon is a former student of Mimi's at the theater. We've known her since she was about... eight? Maybe nine. Anyway, she's all growed up now and home from college for the summer so we, naturally, roped her into some childcare while she's in town. Anyway, when we came home on whatever night it was, we asked how things went and Rhiannon said, "We made a pop-up book." She admitted that as soon as she offered the activity to Kiddo, she realized sh...

Fair warning: bodily functions might be discussed, in possibly needless detail. The Plan: Meet Mimi at the theater because she had to teach until 6:00 and then stay to watch a rehearsal. Get some takeout, have a picnic at the Choo-Choo Train Park (not its real name), have a good time, then take Kiddo home. Also, it was New Comic Book Day so I was, briefly, Best Dad Ever for favoring Kiddo with this: Not pictured: it smells like strawberry. Yes, really. What Happened: Got to the theater a little early. Gave Kiddo a snack of possibly-too-old cheddar bunnies and an orange drink from the vending machine in the lobby. Mimi finished her class and we piled in the car to go get dinner. Kiddo starts complaining of a stomach ache. Side Note: she's been a little bit of "the girl who cried stomach ache" the past couple of months so we never know if her stomach really hurts or if she's just creating drama. Pretty soon, we realized she wasn't messing around. Her face was all s...

My sister posted this picture on Facebook a few days ago with a note wondering how that man in the photo could be anyone but me. It isn't. It's my dad. Circa 1964. Still, even I did a double-take. He's about five years younger in that photo than I am now but the resemblance is downright alarming. I think the picture is flipped and that's his wedding band on his left hand we see (I'm basing this on the location of his shirt pocket -- men's dress shirts do not come with pockets on the right), but I wear a ring on my right ring-finger besides my wedding band on the left so it just added to the initial shock of thinking I was looking at a picture of me with tiny versions of four of my sisters. (And if you've been reading this thing for any length of time, those four adorable little girls grew up to be four of our most reliable commentors, so thanks Margaret, KT, Judy, and Gibs). Not in the picture -- or in existence at the time -- are children five through eight...

In which we recover from opening a show by enjoying a musical interlude.

From the posts we made thus far and the photos, it would appear that we had a very normal, good vacation. However, our Tokyo trip this time around was flavored with some serious grown up responsibilities. My mother, who has had some health issues recently was admitted to the hospital the day after we arrived with a bowel obstruction. This is the same condition she had earlier this year which kept her in the hospital for 5 weeks and led her to lose a ton of weight. She had been well since then, but a couple days prior to our arrival, her loss of appetite reappeared and when she went to see her doctor, he told her that the condition was relapsing and she needed to be admitted right away. She seemed to be in bit of shock and I helped her pack for the hospital with my father and two of my teen-aged nieces who came down from their home upstairs upon hearing the news. My mother was moving around slowly trying to gather things, but between her stomach being uncomfortable and her back problem,...

Our Tokyo trip continues to fade into memory. We've been home a couple of weeks and while Kiddo adjusted to the time difference in about two days, Mama and Dadoo have had a rougher time of it. But sleep is starting to get normal again and most of us have remembered how to get to work and what we're supposed to do once we get there. As I look back on our trip I wonder if we crossed the line from "memorable vacation" into "give your daughter whatever she asks for and damn the consequences." And I'm not even mentioning the day at Disneyland . DVDs at breakfast? Seems reasonable. How are those Frosted Flakes? Ride every carousel you see? Oh, hell yes! How many do you have? Ice cream every day? Why not? It is a little warm, after all. How about a little more ice cream? Don't mind if I do! You know there are subtle differences in each one. Need a new hat? How about a Hello Kitty hat? Here's one now! And if you're thirsty, why not have this big bott...

Had a different post in my head but when I went to pick Kiddo up at school today, this is who I found; a tutu in a watermelon t-shirt with a sweaty head that smelled like the beach (from the sunscreen). I had one of those daddy moments where the sight of my kid made me want to do cartwheels. So since today is the longest day of the year, which up this way means it'll stay light until about 10:00, we are going to take advantage of that. Stay tuned for important lessons on how to spoil your child. But for now... SUMMER!

While we do have a post or two left to go on our recent Japan visit, I just wanted to acknowledge something. Kiddo has been at her daycare/preschool for about three years now. There are four classes in the school, divided by age. Starting from the littlest of the littles, the classes go Risu (Squirrel), Usagi (Rabbit), Panda (Panda), Zo (Elephant). Kiddo is in Panda. Well... NOT ANYMORE! In our post-vacation, incredibly jet-lagged state, Mimi and I didn't notice it or talk about it or whatever. We knew the Zo class graduation is this Saturday (because we are skipping it to go to gym class), but it honestly didn't occur to me that she would be moving up a grade until I went to pick her up today. There was a big stack of her art in her cubby and on top was a picture of her that had hung on the wall in her classroom. It didn't even occur to me then. It didn't occur to me until we were walking out of her classroom and I looked up and noticed her picture (the one I had just ...

Then one day we did this. Prepare to have your tiny mind blown. We stumbled upon/were trapped by an Easter parade. In June. Not a bad way to start, all in all. The reusable plastic popcorn tubs (that you wear!) are all the rage. This one was on loan from cousin Ayana. Kiddo kind of didn't care about anything else until she got her popcorn. Then she found out she could go inside Cinderella's castle. We almost didn't make it out. The answer to "Do you want to ride the carousel?" She has now ridden carousels in three countries. Enjoy that useless fact. Tokyo Disneyland has a rodent problem. They will play with your child's curly hair then take her by the hand and run away to Cinderella's castle with her. And your child will go with them without even turning around to see if it's okay with her parents. Dadoo really wanted to ask these two about what it was like to be working there, but decided not to be "that guy." And the crowd was a little ugly...