I'm A Real Soccer Mom Now

But more importantly, Jacob is a real soccer player! Ever since we found out Jacob was a boy, I've been looking forward to the day when he would get involved with a sport that he loved that we could go watch. That day has arrived, and we are having a BLAST!

Check out the pure determination in that face!

And "brudder" had as much fun as we did watching. :)

A Bump in the Road to Restored Sight

Remember the pictures I just took of the boys? The adorable 3 year and 6 month pictures? I'm so thankful I took them for more than the obvious reason. I have stared at this sweet baby's face, I took the pictures, I edited the pictures, and I saved one of them on my phone for my screen saver. I looked down at my phone at this precious picture, and I noticed something that scared me to death, but I was still hoping that maybe it was just this picture.

See that left eye? I just knew it was crossed. I mean, it's pretty obvious, right? I quickly sat on the computer and went through every single picture. I couldn't find a single one that didn't have that little booger turning in. Because I have done more research than I probably should on Grant's condition, I already knew what was happening. But I still hoped for the best, and prayed it was a fluke. His eyes shake really bad, and I was hoping maybe I snapped the camera when they were shaking.

I called Wayne and our parents to tell them about it, and then I called our PO. He asked me to email him a picture. (Side note, this man is great. What other doctor gives you their cell phone number and email address???!!) It was around noon on Thursday of last week. I knew he would probably call me back after seeing patients, which he did. I had emailed him several of the pictures, and he confirmed what I already knew. His left eye was definitely turning, but he did give me a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, it was the angle of the pictures. He asked if we could come in first thing Monday morning.

I watched those baby blues all weekend, and at times I would see the eye cross and at other times I thought I was loosing my mind. (These emotions took me back to when we first realized something was wrong with Grant's eyes.)

Monday morning came, and Dr. Metz's nurse came in. She did her check up on him, and she definitely saw the eye crossing. I think at this time my shoulders began to slump. I was about to hear what we had been praying against all weekend.

Dr. Metz saw us right after, and confirmed it. What has happened is for whatever reason, his left eye is much, much weaker than his right eye. If we don't start doing something now, well, it could not be good in the future.

So, we are patching. For four hours every single day. This process will make his left eye work instead of allowing the right eye to do all of the work.

It's only been three days of patching, and it feels like three years. Sweet boy hates it. He cries a lot. Can you blame him? He lived three months blind. He was then given sight. And now we are taking away the vision out of the eye he can see really well in. It's breaking my heart. It's so hard to see your child struggle. And in this process, the struggle is very visual. You can see him trying so hard to get control of that eye. We will do whatever we need to do to make sure he has a life filled with seeing all of God's beautiful creation and the people in it, but I hate that he is having to go through this. hate it. For whatever reason, we were dealt this card. All I know to do at this point is what we are instructed to do, and to praise God that one day without glasses and without patches he will no longer be blind. He will be able to see. That is the end goal in all of this, and that is what we have to focus on.

I jokingly told Dr. Metz this week that I wasn't coming in to see him anymore. It feels like every time we go now days we get bad news. :(

On a positive note, Jacob is a precious, precious child. He has his moments, just like any other three year old boy, but God gave us him first for a reason. And that reason is laughter. When he woke up the first morning Grant was patched, he walked up to him and said, "AAAAAARRRRRG!" You gotta love it!

For those that are still praying for our little fella, keep them coming. We're hoping and praying the patching works. Otherwise, he will have to have an additional surgery on that eye. We already have two surgeries in the future no matter what, and we really don't need any more than that. Every time his eyes are cut on, he has a 20% chance of coming out of it with glaucoma. We're just claiming it at this point that that will not happen.

This is just a bump in the road. At the end of this journey, Grant will have restored sight. He just has to.

Rub A Dub, Two Brothers In The Tub

This is what bath time is looking like around here most nights. :)

When we tell Jacob it's bath time, he is real quick to remind us that he wants to take a bath with "brudder." Love, love, love these boys!!

Where I Find Myself (and it's not pretty)

Why You Should Hang Up Your Robe

Glynnis Whitwer

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me..." Acts 20:24 (NIV)

My first instinct was to leave the clean, folded clothes on top of the dresser. Granted, my arms were filled with freshly laundered items, so it would have been difficult to open the drawer while balancing the stack. I had an excuse for leaving them on top. Didn't I? Instead, I pushed past my instinct, took 30 more seconds, and placed the clothes neatly in the drawer.

This tendency to not complete a task happens with surprising regularity. I toss my bathrobe on the bed, drape jeans on the tub, and set the television remote on the nearest counter top. However, sometimes, when I'm a bit more self-aware, I take the few extra steps needed to actually finish the task.

Years ago, I realized my practice of stopping short of finishing what I started led to a cluttered home and office. Back then, I had a multitude of unfinished tasks that I just lived with. It wasn't all simple things like putting away clothes, but included larger tasks like leaving a wall half painted.

Starting a project is fun, and usually involves a burst of energy. Then, that energy wanes as I approach the finish line. Instead of pushing to complete the task, assignment or project with excellence, I lean towards settling for good enough. Unfortunately, when I settle for "good enough" consistently, I learn to live with mediocrity. And accepting mediocrity is far from where God wants me to be. You see, finishing what we start is more than a good organizational or home management skill. It's also a spiritual discipline.

As I identified the tendency to settle, I realized it affected me in a variety of ways throughout my life. In the past I accepted a distant relationship with God rather than one of intimacy. I've limited my understanding of Scripture to a surface level. My relationships with others have gone no deeper than, "Hi, how are you doing?" Instead of pushing to explore the fullness of what God offers in all areas, it is easier to stop short. Perhaps it's safer. Simpler. And with less personal discomfort or inconvenience.

Interestingly, it's actually been somewhat easy to address this issue. I admit the tendency within myself to settle, and I get firm with myself about it. Now, when I would prefer to leave the dryer full of clothes, or emails half typed, I say to myself, "Finish what you start." I make a conscientious decision to finish the task at hand before I move on to something new. Obviously, there are some projects that require more effort, but this works on many of my issues.

I'm not sure of all the reasons for stopping short of finishing with excellence, but I do know the results. I end up with unfulfilled commitments, open loops and shallow relationships. That's a far cry from the life Jesus came to bring, which is full and abundant. Not a partial life, but one lived with pushing to the limits and exploring the outer reaches.

Maybe that seems a deep principle to pull from putting clothes in a drawer or a dirty bowl in the dishwasher. However, the discipline of finishing well is one that is woven through my life...or it's not.

So I guess I'll take the extra step and actually hang up my robe. It's one more stitch in this tapestry of finishing well that God is trying to create in my life.

Dear Lord, thank You for demonstrating finishing well through the life of Jesus. I know Jesus could have stopped short of paying the price for my salvation. But He didn't. For that I will be eternally grateful. Please help me push through mediocrity in my life and explore the fullness You long to bring. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A friend on facebook shared this story this morning, and it touched me like nothing has touched me in a while. It talks about exactly what I've been seeing myself doing. Settling for settling. Sometimes it's so easy to be lazy. To not finish the laundry. To not clean the bathroom. To not pick up the toys strung all over our house. To not want to do the dishes. To not feel like creating memories for my children. To not finishing my kids' scrapbooks that I know we will treasure for years to come. To assume someone else will fill in the gap for the ministry that needs help at church. To not want to do anything I'm called to do. I've been like this lately. Sort of in a slump, if you will. I've gotten so use to it that settling almost didn't bother me. Almost. I've been doing just enough to get by. God deserves better of me. My husband deserve better of me. And my children deserve better of me. Convicted this morning? Yes I am!

Check It Out!

There's several new hats up on Baby Strings (there's a box you can click on on the right hand side of the screen)! Here's one of my favorites:

New designs coming soon!

3 & 1/2

I know everyone says it, but I also know how everyone feels when they say it. "I cannot believe how fast my babies are growing up!" It seems like yesterday I gave birth to Jacob, and he will be 3 next month. And sweet baby boy is 6 months old. I just can't believe it.

I finally got some pictures of the two of them that I love for the first time since Grant got his specs. Of course, I have to share a couple of bloopers because, honestly, this is how my boys feel about the big black thing that I put in front of their face on frequent occasions.

And here are the rest. (Yes, I have more of Grant than Jacob. It's an age thing. Grant doesn't really have too much of a choice yet. Plus, Jacob sweats so easily so I had about a 10 minute time frame with him before he looked like it felt outside!)