The Life Of Faith

If you want to have a stable life, don't move to Ukraine.

The last month has been a roller coaster of changes. I started planning my winter and thought about working out needed ministry trips to coincide with cities where friends lived. I began to hatch a plan about when I might visit home again. I excitedly looked forward to ministry plans and projects. Oh, and even more importantly, I had a budget for everything. I was very pleased with myself.

All of those plans have been swept off the table, and every day has a new challenge that has to be solved which completely throws a wrench into everything I planned. Now I am just waiting to see what will happen next. People ask, "When are you doing this? When are you going there?" "What is going to happen if this happens?" etc, etc etc.

I have no clue.

I have no plans.

I don't know what will happen except that I will be eating some very good vegetarian chili for dinner tonight.

What I do know, is that peace and stability need to come from inside us. It needs to begin inside our hearts and through our faith and relationship with God. I cannot force the world to bend to my will. Some people have power and money and can do so, but if you watch their lives for any length of time, eventually life will trip them up.

Sometimes it's frustrating, but sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and it's actually very invigorating and exciting.

It opens the door for God to do anything!

"Then Job replied to the Lord, 'I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.'".......Job 42:2 (NIV)

What Path Are You Taking?

Don't let anyone or anything take away your compassion for humanity. Ministry is not about focusing on programs, big conferences or success as it appears in the eyes of the world. It's about success from God's perspective. Do you know him? Do you know his vision and his heart for humanity?

He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.".......Micah 6:8 (NIV)

Saturday At The Market

Last Saturday I entered our local market and heard live music! Yes, live music in the market! I followed the sound and found a little horn band playing their hearts out and asking for donations and selling a CD.

I would have loved to stand and listen all day but I had food to buy and buying food in the market is a very serious activity! Here's the meat section. Do you want some salo? (pig fat) I see some here if you want to try it.

I'm not big on eating fish, but here's a section that even has a tank so you know it's super fresh.

This is the sausage section. You can try samples before buying if you want to try different types of sausage.

Here's the band again from behind. If you look at the right side of the photo, theres a tiny little woman standing at the edge of the photo behind the tall man. That's my little babushka friend, Enyssa. She doesn't want her photo taken but I realized today when I downloaded the photos she was in this shot. She's a sweetheart and I always make sure to take time to talk to her when I see her.

If you want to know more about Ukrainian fresh food markets and food in general, check out the awesome blog, "The Pickle Project."

Still Suffering From Culture Shock

I read this blog post this past week from the blog, "Musings From A French Fried Texan" The author writes about being bi-cultural and how for the most part, it's a great thing, but sometimes one can feel torn between two cultures.

I really identified with this post. It made me realize that some of the stress that I've been going through last month was not just from trying to solve difficult life problems but I was actually experiencing culture shock. I was trying to solve problems that had risen from both Ukrainian and American "sides" of my life, so my wires were getting crossed which caused extra stress and feelings of inadequacy.

Living for a long time in Ukraine, and working with three languages, and two cultures can be confusing. One or the other of the cultures dominates the situation I am in. I have to chose to think and react from a specific cultural perspective, either the culture I am living in or my own American cultural expectations and norms. Because all this is going on in my head, sometimes I just can't process problems or situations quickly. Do I look at a situation from the eyes of an ex pat? An Ukrainian? An American? I try to look at problems from the perspective of my faith which is based on the Bible, but how much of my perspective of the Bible comes from my culture? I always have to be asking myself these questions.

Then there's the languages. I speak Russian and am to a certain degree thinking in Russian daily. I read in English, I write in English. I can solve basic problems either language but more creative or abstract ideas means I have to translate the concept into English. I also find my brain switching to English if I am in an emotional situation. Sometimes when having conversations in English, my vocabulary and grasp of language feels stilted and I cannot think quickly. I am also dealing with a fair amount of the Ukrainian language which is thrown into the mix. All of the above is not only at times confusing, but sometimes feels just plain weird. Sometimes my brain just wants to shut down.

What's even weirder is some days I just feel out of sorts and on the outside of life here and on other days I feel totally normal. Some days I want to scarf down a Big Mac and fries at McDonalds and other days I'm craving borscht and salo.

Don't get me wrong, I love living in another culture and being bi cultural. I like it much more than I thought I would and am humble and thankful for my friends from both cultures who are patient with me when I can't express myself or understand something. I have to keep reminding myself to remember to slow down and take the time to process problems from two different cultural views, and languages. I don't think culture shock is going to go away any time soon!

Back Online!

After having the majority of the technological items in my flat falter or fail to work, I am back online and blogging. Despite the chaos and feeling like I've been lost in a spinning vortex of Ukrainian life, lots of good stuff is happening and I can't wait to share more. The biggest news I can share is that our organization has bought an apartment for our ministry to young mothers. This is the best news I've had to share in a long, long time. God is good! I will be sharing more as life unfolds.