Love unlimited

My four year old who is not a hugger or a cuddler comes up to me this evening and sits closer to me. Me taking her in my arms plant a kiss in her cheek.
She says shyly- " Amma I love you soo much."
Me ( who is so excited to hear these rare words)- "You do? You love me baby,,"
She-" Yes amma..I love you." And then she pauses for a second and continues " I love naaani too amma..I love him a lot"(naani- referring to her dad affectionately"


This sure brings smile to my face:).

Mother's day 2012

This is the first time I am blogging about mother's day.It's been four years since I have been graduated to the position of being mom.I have been blessed with two beautiful kids who cling on to me dearly. I feel content to be what I am today.

The day started with lots of hugs including from dad who pampered me with a trip to Disney and an ipad.I had a memorable time with my loved ones. Highlight is that I had a lovely dinner with amma who happened to be with us this mother's day.

Four years ago when I was blooming in my career,just when I was about to be promoted, when I planned to take maternity leave and leave my new born in the care of parents, life had it's own plans.On 19th March 2008 when I gave birth to the beautiful angel after twenty four hours of critical labour ,I could not let go of that new born in anyone's care.I could'n't get enough of that beautiful bundle. I decided to enjoy and savour every minute of my motherhood. I decided to stay home and love all I could,give all my best to be the best mom. Over time I realised that there are no secret mantras of being the perfect mom. As every job requires hard work and dedication, motherhood demands the same.I may sound biased but I realise gradually that this is the best job in the whole world.Then our life had another pleasant twist with entry of our son in 2010. With less than two years of being apart, these bundles keep me busy all day. I have moments of immense joy that would melt away my heart and also moments when I doubt I would land in therapy. But these bundles have taught me lots of lessons and I am still learning from them everyday.My day starts with their" amma " and ends with their "amma". Nothing more I could ask for.

Thank God for these beauties and just pray to Almighty that I have enough patience and health to enjoy them while they keep me on toes and teach me all about life!

Gems to remember

Forces against us can never be more powerful than the force within us. Trust GOD completely. He will never give you anything you can’t handle! Your problem is never really your problem. Your reaction to your problem is actually your problem. Your respect is not in the words spoken to you in your presence; but words spoken about you in your absence Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a lion not to attack you bcoz you are a vegetarian! An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So, whenever life pulls you back, don’t worry. Its going to lead you forward towards victory. Regretting about yesterday and fear of tomorrow are the two thieves that steal our present. If GOD is in your boat, it does not mean U will not face any storm. It only means no storm can sink your boat! As you might know, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten. Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts. One woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off in time. One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident. One of them missed his bus. One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change. One’s car wouldn’t start. One went back to answer the telephone. One had a child that dawdled and didn’t get ready as soon as he should have. One couldn’t get a taxi. The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today. Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone…all the little things that annoy me. I think to myself, this is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment. Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can’t seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don’t get mad or frustrated; God is at work watching over you. May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose.

God

I asked God to take away my habit. God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is learned. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you. I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own! , but I will prune you to make you fruitful. I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things. I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me. God said…Ahhhh, finally you have the idea. Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. ~Charles Richards

butterfly lesson

The Butterfly A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening of the cocoon are God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through all our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Not only that, we could never fly.

Decide

Decide!! While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me. Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family. First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!” Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment. After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married? “Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!” Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me. I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!” The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!” With that, he and his family turned and strode away together. I was still watching that exceptional man and his special family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, “What’cha looking at?” Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, “My future!” - by Michael D. Hargrove

Adios 2011!

2011 was an uneventful one and I am glad it was.But as a mom it was a very busy year chasing behind two kids and a handsome hubby:)

January 2011- Celebrated Suku's birthday and boy!it was not so much fun. Organising, planning with two little ones was not easy and I am glad I pulled it through.We also bought our first mini van.I definitely feel like a soccer mom on it:)

March 2011- Soni's birthday went well with all the kids partying at home. She was happy with her Minnie cake and to my surprise I was feeling satisfied at my attempt.

April 2011- I heard someone say that you can never make friends in thirties.I do not agree. I met a wonderful person who happens to be Soni's friend's mom.I feel blessed to connect with such like minded people and I never want to shut my door for good friends.

May 2011- We complete eight years of marriage.We had no celebration, not even eating out.Yet, I feel conteted and blessed.

June 2011- Soni started her preschool. And knock on wood she is inseperable since then. She surprised me at the first day of her school not being shy at all. She adjusted immediately to the whole environment that she took her teachers to surprise. Though a part of mine feels sad that she never misses me I am so happy for her social nature.And I am proud that I managed to listen to my heart when I did not choose Montessori. I wanted my kid to be in safe, clean and happy environment where she can have fun rather than her excelling in academics and montessori principles.And her school totally fits for the above category.

July 2011- I started volunteering for Shlokas recital every Friday. I am proud to say that almost five kids learnt to say Hanuman Chalisa and few small shlokas with no help. Soni started to look forward for the classes and she loves to recite Chalisa.I am yet to record her recital.

September 2011- We had been to Key west and I was totally mesmerized by the beauty of Keys. It was indeed a beautiful place and I think the long drive was totally worth it.

October 2011-Been to Smokies and Atlanta. Again anything with nature amuses me and I loved the fall colours totally.Kids had been great the entire trip and we had lovely time.

November 2011- K got a major break in his career. He is into management and he has worked hard for it. Though this means lot of pressure and stress in his work side I see how happy he is.*anti jinx*

December 2011- I love this month.The season seems full of spirit. Lighting everywhere makes me feel energized and christmas everywhere makes me happy.Also we got our new Nissan (replaced our old Camry) and I realize hOW economical it is to our mini van.

There have been few times when kids fell sick with something or other and I kept falling sick right after them due to less immunity.I understand how important for a mom it is to stay healthy for family.My asthma attacks were bad and my thyroid readings were messy. I have issues with my toe nails due to vitamin deficiency. Doctor suspects I could have sleep apnea too..so there are more tests to undergo.And I have not been successful losing weight. I still have lots to lose and I feel disappointed every time I weigh. But hey..I am not giving up yet..I look forward to less- weight -me by 2013.I am going to keep trying , exercising and watching my diet and getting up every time I fail or fall.

Overall I am happy with what 2011 has brought us. I feel blessed to be here and blog about it. I pray and hope 2012 makes me feel more accomplished and brings good health and peace to one and all.

Wordless Wednesdays!

Half- half

This is one of those Saturdays where I want to sleep longer atleast until 7.30 vs 6.30.My kids are morning persons like I was.

So one typical Saturday morning when I am too lazy to get up from bed..

Soni- Amma, please wake up.Ammma ammaaa ammaaa

Suku- Ammaa wake up.. ammma amma amma

Me- Please guys five minutes..

K(also sleeping)- No screaming Soni and Suku!Why don't you come to this side of the bed next to me and not bother amma.

We co-sleep and I try to put kids in one corner but every morning I catch them next to me on either side.

Soni to K- I want amma.

Suku- No, I want amma

Soni- No I want amma.

K-Guys, amma is mine first. I want amma.

Soni- No, I want amma

Suku- I want amma.

Me(Getting annoyed at the noise they were making at 6.00 am)- Why don't you guys each take one half of me and not yell now!

So there was a moment of silence after which

Soni- Ok.. I need a bigger half.

Suku- I want big aaaff.

K- well..err

Me- :-/

Cooking Cooking

On my birthday I decided to take few resolutions(which sounds like a big word for me) among which "cook for a week" falls into second one. I am yet to make a seperate post on my thirty first birthday.

So after I quit working (immediately after Soni was born) I took cooking full time. I always cooked everyday fresh since I stayed home anyways and this was not a big deal as I had plenty time in hands.I enjoyed staying home, decorating my new place which was just less than an year old and spending productive time with my kid.

So when Suku was born I thought this should not be so difficult as I am used to it. But I was so wrong. Feeding him, pumping for him, giving Soni extra attention since she was getting jealous over new born was not easy. But I still stuck to cooking everyday(most times morning and evening)..one of the major reasons I never wanted to compramise on nutrition aspect is K being diabetic.

But I discovered slowly that this cooking schedule is killing me as it demanded lot of time as well energy which I felt could be put to better use. I understand that we need to eat everyday that too in right quantities
but there has to be other option where I could work on spending little time in kitchen and more time with kids.Afterall that's the only reason I chose to stay at home rather than being a full time working woman.
That's when I took a decison to cook for whole week at one go.Okay that seems very dramatic so I deeided to cook for atleast three days at one go.
I planned the schedule and decided to give it a try from the week of my birthday.
Initially this was difficult as I am not used to heating the food from fridge everytime. But I knew this was just in my mind set.So I bought good plastic containers to store food I cooked and arranged them neatly inside my fridge so that would look appealing to eat. I also decided to add good menu so that I wouldn't feel bored to eat the same thing over and over. So I prioritized variety over quantity.And it works!!!

The greatest perks are

# I get to go to gym regularly without having to worry about K's lunch or him taking enough protein.
# I get to play with Suku all morning when Soni goes to school.
# I get time to light Diya and offer my prayers peacefully.
# I get to make trip early morning to Suku's playgroups and play gym.
# I get to visit library often and participate in story telling.

So all these keep me going and I am glad I am sticking to this so far.

Yesterday evening I went to Patel brothers and bought vegetables like every weekend. But instead of them going into fridge they went on stove.
I made palak paneer,beans curry, chole,Brinjal(gutti vankaya),black peas curry,Beerakaya chutney, mango dal and sambar. All these were done within 3 hours and I am proud of myself that I mannged to clean the kitchen, load dishwasher, wash non stick pans,grind dosa and idli batter and be done by 10.00pm.

Wait- another perks of cooking at one go is not having to clean stove tops over and over and be done with minimal cleaning.

So by today morning I had ample amount of time to feed Soni her breakfast, go to gym,play with Suku and catch my morning news peacefully.All I did was switch on the cooker for rice and dal for kids.Ofcourse I prepared beetroot fry for kids which took me less than half an hour.

By then I had time and energy to clean the kitchen cabinets when Suku was catching his thirty minute tv show.

And publishing this post in the day time is also one of the perks ain't it :D?