~~目には目を、歯には歯を、悪には悪を。~~

Just in case you don't know, there's a Like button under every post. =D

Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 : Together Forever

♥

This year, was definitely the most durian runtuh year ever in my concious living years.

First was being offered a nicely and better paid job in Levi's headquarters as a receptionist up in Damansara Uptown after 2 weeks working in a bookshop as sales assistant was totally a god sent reward. And I still owe a blog post (in draft) for a very long time.

Despite for not performing well for the STPM, which was within my expected calculations (hence wasn't surprised when the results came out earlier of the year), Ah Jib kor's higher education department offered me with Electrical and Electronics Engineering (majoring in Power System) in Universiti Malaysia Pahang.

Oh wait, it's not the Gambang campus. But the, the, the.... super pekan... very ulu punya pekan...


Pekan.
Ah Jib kor's place.





FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...ffff.


At first, I didn't want to accept the offer and sought for private universities/colleges for alternatives. But either the engineering courses weren't certified yet by the Board of Engineers of Malaysia, or too blood sucking expensive. Honestly speaking, I have no such wealth to be spent on something damn OVERPRICE which I can get it way cheaper.

It was kinda in a hurry and last minute when I finaalllly decided to just go Pahang. Afterall, it shall be a good and brand new experience to be able to stay far away from home. (sounded like Rurichou from Inu X Boku SS)

I've met new friends here, and a very Ker Fang-ish roomate, ie. super vulnerable to chars and bullies. And of course friends who can accompany me home during bus rides on breaks. Lucky me.

I'll keep the details for next year's post. For now I'll just say I'm still doing fine with all these *starts poking at imaginations* copper lines and these *pokes air* silicon compounds filled mechanisms.

And Digimon Adventures is still as epic as ever.

Despite of the ups and downs,

Miss ya 2011.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Article Review.

This was the 'Content' part of the Article Review report that my group and me got to submit for our Ethnic Relations class. Seriously, I was kinda pissed to be given this part of the report task, because, I knew I will really really crap a lot, or maybe 'crap'. *shrugs*

This was the original article that we got to review on - here.

This was the main part of the report I've got to write on - the content part. *geez*

IN MALAY. ==

Berdasarkan artikel “Menjaga Sensitiviti untuk Kekal Merdeka” yang dibincang, Nurul Anuar Kari menyatakan bahawa rakyat Malaysia telah letih dan muak dengan perkembangan semasa dalam negara yang kebanyakannya berkenaan dengan dunia politik.

Hal ini memang tidak boleh dinafikan dengan laporan skandal seks Chua Soi Lek dan diikuti oleh Anuar Ibrahim, ataupun kematian model Mongolia serta perogolan orang gaji Indonesia oleh menteri, permainan isu-isu politik oleh para pemimpin rakyat yang terpapar besar setiap hari dalam surat-surat khabar tempatan, dengan sekurang-kurangnya 5 muka surat besar, tanpa gagal. ‘Usaha-usaha’ untuk memburukkan nama pihak lain menjadi santapan bahan-bahan bacaan rakyat setiap hari sejak pilihanraya tahun 2008.

Saya tidak setuju dengan penulis yang menuding jari kepada pihak ‘segelintir kecil bukan Melayu’ atau ‘sekumpulan manusia’, kerana kebanyakan isu-isu sensitif ini dibangkitkan oleh kebanyakannya pemimpin-pemimpin kerajaan, dan dipapar secara besar-besaran dalam media, mengundang kekecohan umum, terutamanya bagi mereka yang tidak faham tentang perkara tersebut dan beremosi.

Pergolakan dalam dunia politik tempatan menunjukkan sifat keterbukaan minda rakyat atau para pengundi yang mula memberi pendapat sendiri terhadap pentadbiran negara. Kelemahan-kelemahan dalam institusi perundangan dan perlembagaan negara yang mungkin dilihat sebagai pengeksploitasian oleh pihak pembangkang, merupakan suatu perkara yang baik. Hal ini adalah kerana pihak pentadbir kerajaan negara boleh meminda atau memansuhkan perkara-perkara perlembagaan yang mempunyai kelemahan, selari dengan kesesuaian, keperluan dan perubahan semasa. Contohnya, pemansuhan Akta Keselamatan dalam negeri 1960(ISA) yang diumumkan oleh Dato' Sri Haji Mohd Najib bin Tun Haji Abdul Razak pada 16 September 2011 yang telah sekian lama menjadi propaganda semua parti di Malaysia sewaktu pilihanraya menjelang. ISA telah lama disifatkan sebagai percanggahan hak asasi manusia dalam kebebasan bersuara setelah menyaksikan penahanan beberapa pemimpin-pemimpin parti politik seperti Lim Kit Siang, Karpal Singh, Lim Guan Eng dan Anuar Ibrahim dan juga termasuk sebagau alat pengugutan penahanan para peserta perhimpunan haram Gabungan Pilihan Raya Bersih dan Adil (Bersih).

Penyertaan secara besar-besaran oleh rakyat Malaysia dari semua lapisan masyarakat tanpa mengira umur atau bangsa dalam perhimpunan Bersih juga menunjukkan kesediaan rakyat dalam perubahan atau reformasi baru pentadbiran negara yang telah dipandang serong kerana kes-kes rasuah. Klimaks pemburukan pentadbiran negara ialah kejadian kes ‘bunuh diri’ pembantu wakil rakyat PKR Teoh Beng Hock terus menjejaskan sistem demokrasi negara.

Kini, perhimpunan Bersih boleh disamakan dengan keadaan 55 tahun yang lalu, iaitu tahun 1956 di mana rakyat Malaya semua bersatu bawah satu parti dan memenangi 51 kerusi daripada 52 kerusi yang dipertandingkan dalam pilihanraya umum pertama Persekutuan, bersedia untuk kemerdekaan negara. Bukankah ini semangat perjuangan Satu Malaysia yang telah dilaung-laungkan selama ini?

Isu hubungan sejenis bukanlah sesuatu perkara yang baru. Gejala ini telah lama merayap dalam masyarakat Malaysia terutamanya dalam generasi muda seperti pengkid. Walaupun mendapat reaksi yang berbeza daripada semua pihak, Malaysia telah menyaksikan gelombang pertama hubungan sejenis, iaitu perkahwinan sejenis antara Jessie Chung (ataupun nama sebenar Jesse Chung) dan temannya Joshua Beh yang telah berlangsung di Kuching pada 15 November 2005. Gelombang kedua pada Disember 2009 merupakan pendedahan rakyat negara Fatine (atau nama sebenar Mohd. Fadzil Min Bahari) yang telah menjalani pembedahan penukaran seks dan sudah berkahwin, kini menetap di Britain.

Walaupun tidak mendapat sokongan daripada agama masing-masing, Jessie dan Fatine serta ramai yang terlibat dalam hubungan sejenis secara senyap tetap mengikut suara hati mereka. Walaupun saya tidak faham pemikiran mereka, namun bergitu kepayahan dan perjuangan yang terpaksa dilalui oleh mereka, daripada keluarga, rakan-rakan dan reaksi orang sekeliling, wajar diberi perhatian. Walaubagaimanapun, isu-isu ini tidak mengugat dari segi kemerdekaan dan kedaulatan negara.

Prosedur-prosedur yang sudah menjadi norma dalam dunia politik negara ini ialah cubaan para pemimpin parti untuk mencungkil isu-isu sensitif, mendapat bantahan daripada rakyat, atau salah diintepret oleh pihak media dan meminta maaf secara umum. Bukan itu sahaja, sikap sesetengah pemimpin yang suka mengeluarkan kata-kata kesat sewaktu persidangan Parlimen atau Dewan Rakyat mengundang ketidakpuasan rakyat. Hal ini turut akan memburukkan imej negara dengan label sesetengah wakil rakyat yang kurang professional, tambahan pula penggunaan bahasa rojak.

Sebagaimana yang dinyatakan oleh Ketua Kluster Politik, Keselamatan dan Antarabangsa Majlis Profesor Negara, Profesor Datuk Dr. Mohamed Mustafa Ishak, adalah penting untuk rakyat sendiri untuk memahami sesuatu perkara yang dibangkitkan daripada terus membantah dan beremosi mengikut fahaman cetek. Hal ini bukan sahaja meybabkan salah faham antara rakyat, ia juga akan mengugat keamanan setempat. Sekarang merupakan masa terbaik untuk warga-warga Malaysia untuk memahami pentadbiran negara secara mendalam agar tidak berlakunya salah faham dan dieksplotasi dalam hal-hal berkait dengan hak-hak sebagai warganegara.

Apakah kewajaran menentukan sesuatu isu yang berkait dengan Perlembagaan, kuasa Raja Melayu dan hak istimewa Melayu sebagai isu-isu sensitif? Sistem ‘Jangan Tanya.’ ini kian menjadi kulat dalam pentadbiran negara ini. Adakah sistem ‘Jangan Tanya.’ Ini akan menjamin kedaulatan perlembagaan Malaysia serta dapat menjaga keamanan dan keharmonian negara?

Pemansuhan ISA hanyalah sekadar pembuka selera, kerana hidangan utama yang lain seperti Printing Presses and Publishing Act (PPPA), Official Secrets Act (OSA) dan akta-akta yang abitiari belum muncul sebagai persoalan besar terhadap parti memimpin. Adakah hanya sekadar menjaga sensitivti akan menjamin kemerdekaan pada zaman ini? Fikirkanlah.


Took me 6 hours to write this shit. Not bad not bad, though I did wish to have a Kamus Dewan beside me that time. Forgotten lotsa vocabs.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I WANNA STUDY TOO!!!

One fine day, I saw a pair of small tiny legs poking out from my laptop's touchpad.

They struggled, as though wanting me to help to pull them out from the other side of the touchpad.
"Help! Help!" I thought.


I slowly held onto one of the legs, and gave a slight pull, to the little guy who came from the other planet. *pulls*


First of all, before I begin typing more in this post, I would like to apologize for the horrible outdated blog. Busy, the usual excuse.

Not sure how many is expecting an update from myself, but in short, I'm doing well in my uni.

I won't be updating about anything serious, especially on my uni life, until next year, when semester break begins. No life? Not exactly. There are just too much lives that I had no time to spare for this little typing pleasure, for a very long time already. Don't worry, I'm doing fine in this godsent purely-physics-and-nothing-on-bio-nor-chem engineering course.

Anyhow, just a short update on this little meme which I did with my Nendoroid L.

Bread vs Nendoroid L meme: click here.

Thanking Xian Young for helping me to get this new Nendo right from The Figure Mall in SS15 on the day it was released. TwT Couldn't get there in time before the shop closes for AFA 2011.

Nendoroid Prince Baka from Level E.


Less one face, but more customisable limbs and tiny ornaments like a mug, a book and a cat.

He's so tiny!

For once I felt a nendo's tininess. Maybe it was Nendo L's head being big, or Nendo Ciel was always small (since he's always a kid) and Nendo Sebastian being a bit big headed too.


Aye, no grandeur cushion chair, like L's and Ciel's. The common wheel chair.

TwT Finally, I found a perfect Nendo which can fit into this Daiso plastic case. TwT

Honestly speaking, I wasn't so sure when I knew about the release of this nendo, or why would I want to buy him specifically. But I think it was this pose in one of the previews that caught my attention.

Guilt came since I've been supporting ciplaks for so long, shamelessly admitting here. The two figures - Ciel and Sebastian, the three Nendoroids - L, Ciel and Sebastian are ciplaks. Saved alot of bucks when coming to own what I want, these hawt characters figures. Since I started working for the 8 months of waiting for uni, I thought of really supporting the originals for once. Wanted to buy a BJD, but too much from my pocket, so I bought a Nendo instead.

This Nendo, to be specific.

Come come~

And the bread meme begins: -

Bought this smiley bread for Prince Baka.

Me : Hey Prince.

Prince : What? Can't you see I'm busy reading here?

Me : Wanna eat? *shoving the bread in front of Prince*


Prince : ...

Me : Want?

Prince : .......


*sniff sniff*


*smells nice!*

Prince : I want! I want!

Me : Here. *passes the bread to Prince*

*takes bread aside and starts munching *

He will be in Pekan with me, for four years. XD

Google + album (meme) : Here
Facebook album (nendo only) : Here

Friday, July 15, 2011

I'VE GOT THE POWARR!



If you try to see this optimistically, at least I got offered, a course, of course.

*stomach growls*

Here I come, Subway!


Alone.


"Next time, let's meet under the cherry blossoms in The World Below."


I've cried, too much for an old manga.

Kazuya Minekura, you've got me.


at 3am.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

桜樹の下。


涙ぐましい!


最近たぶん頭が壊れたのが、たくさん昔日なアニメをダウンロード するんです。毎日毎日で。

今「最遊記」のアニメをみるんです。

変なと思う。私は三蔵一行の遊記物語最終回を見たことはもう五年前の事です。

往事茫々なあ。。。

でも、三蔵一行は何時までも最高クールなグループと思う。

「最遊記外伝」の漫画少しでを読んだ。最終第二のチャプタは悲しいだろう!

泣いた。

どうしてカズヤ峰倉さんはこんな酷すぎるんか。

;。;

毎晩私はアニメをみるんが、朝3時ぐらいねる。

体に悪いこと知ってる、でも「最遊記」は本当に楽しいアニメです。

止められない!>。<


うぇーさんのおかげで、今私日本語の勉強をもう一回習う。(ありがとうなあ、ウェーさん。)

SS15 の ICLSは次のアドバンス五 くラスはこの7月14日を始めるん。

もう3年ぐらい日本語を練習しないが、たくさん言葉をわすれすぎた。

一つ言語を段段に忘れるの気分は悪い。撃つくしいです。

3年。中中長いの時間ですよ。

この3年の無益な生活。。。

止めることがほしい。



3年の前あの時。恋しがる。

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

You asked for this, Shit-Hole.

Hello?

I bet you have yet changed.
Maybe other parts of you changed. But not the part I hated you for.
I only notice that part of you, because I have nothing to comment about the other parts of yours.
No I don't have grudge against you.
I'm just being disgusted and annoyed by that part of yours.
That ugly part of yours.

Yeah, it's true I do not have the right to judge someone. But so what if I still want to say it. You have no right to stop me.

Tell you, I work this way.

As long as you no longer in close range of my daily social network, whether in real life or Internet, I will forget about you. If you no longer keep in contact with me, the more the reason I won't remember you.

But, if you ever came in contact within my range of social network, I, basically like what everyone else will do, will start to judge and evaluate you and your persona.

Given a longer span of time without keeping in touch, people may not remember what's good about you, but of course they will remember what's special about you.

It's either your outstanding skill which made you stood up in the crowd,

or,

your shitty annoying habits, weakness or anything.

Truthfully, if you are reading this, I only remembered what was your name and a rough idea of the life you lead while we were in the same place. I almost forgotten that revolting personality of yours in which you have taken to heights of the unreachables over the months.

You can say I'm just a being high-and-mighty. I wouldn't deny that.

Again, since when I'm in the position to judge people eh?

BUT! I'm judging you for MYSELF, and maybe express my own opinion about you to others if requested.

I didn't like you, I mean that part of you. You have just proven to me how much your that absurdity have brought yourself to (mistakenly, as desperately explained) tick me off.

I admit I wasn't in a good mood then, but your awesome words has pulled quite some of my nerves, since those words were a product of well, misinterpreting, my usual cold words. It was not only the wordly misinterpretation, aslo injecting some past brief feud between us.

Alright, you gave me a cannon shot right at that moment. I was taken by surprised.

I do not live without standing up for what I deserve. My principle of life.

I armed myself a bazooka, aimed, and fired.

All I recalled was the ugly moments of you that I have been ticked way before, and I have no longer care to bother if you are bleeding to death or moaning over broken limbs. Karma me if the people around you suffered because of your injuries.

You have made me remember who were you and you still are.

I've warned you before, way before when you can wash your ear canals to hear.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Tear Tears.

I don't care in what pronounciation you wanna read the title, it's the same either way.


First sad thing in the afternoon,

Harap maaf.Dukacita dimaklumkan nama anda tiada dalam senarai berjaya USM.


Second sad thing in the evening,


Only Keng Wei made it for the meet up in my house, with 2 regular pizzas. 3 others couldn't make it, at the last minute.


Third sad thing in the evening,

Ao no Exorcist newest chapter with its conflict rising in the storyline.


Fourth sad thing in the night,

I watched Hachiko. Tear jerking.


Fifth sad thing in the night,

I realised I have not had a single drop of alcohol. Just cold pizzas.


If you want to know how I'm feeling now?

I feel like squeezing a slice of cheese loaded pizza with my fist, with great force generated puely by annoyance alone _|_.

Nah, I'm a good person. Really.

fml.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Not Blog or Vlog. But Plog.


Facebook Album here.

=D

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Liar Game.




I've made up my mind.


And it's about my blog.

About the links of my friends' blogs on the left panel:

"I would like to sincerely express my condolences to owners of the blog links I've removed under the Tomo♪Kazo section. It's simply because that I've came to realisation that some of the 'friends' in the list did not make an effort in notifying me about their official limited viewership permission. Hence making the kind links on my blog practically pointless to both me and my viewers to browse on.

What more some of the blogs were backdated 2 years ago. Meaning, their last post was millenniums ago. So I do not see a point expecting a link to a very very ancient diary.

I'm not your free archive.

If you are reading this (and didn't realise when was the last time you came in here) and realised that your link has been offensively removed without your prior knowledge, please kindly leave me a message in the chatbox. I'll relink (kindly, once again.) for you.

And I've linked some blogs too."


Moral of the Story :

Why do you need to keep useless stuff? Recycle or just dump it.



About the 我有个小小要求 on the left panel:

"I think it's about time for me to reupdate my wish list for Santa and Santarinas. I doubt there will be anyone who's gonna be a kind Samaritan for a poor pitiful soul like me.

Just to list down the accomplished items on my previous wish list:
-Sebastian and Ciel Nendroid (bootlegged, thanks to Jun for Sebastian)
-Sebastian and Ciel Figurine (bootlegged)
-iPod cover (mum got this for me.)
-2GB RAM upgrade (mum got this since I had to use it on my competition)
-Bamboo tablet (my first salary went there. RM368 bargain for Fun and Touch)
-Laptop (my 2 months salary gone here.)

The new list comprising only 2 items so far - a Gundam Model which I didn't know what was the name and D.O.T. Code No.2.

They are the real luxuries I cant afford.

And forget about it. I won't marry the guy (nor girl) who can gift me the mentioned items.

By the way, I've deleted the Mandarin title and replaced it with the common "WISHLIST?!" term.

Please be reminded that the list will still be in the "and still counting..." status."


Moral of the Story:

There wouldn't be a need for the third wish in the list if I hadn't screwed up my life, enough.



About the header of my blog:


Once a while I'll try to change the header. Maybe just for fun?



About the obvious decreasing blogging frequency:

"You will expect a long long post of texts that you shall die reading after I end my job in a branded garment company. Plus, I'm currently drowning into anime, mangas, dramas and pikas.

And of course the very normal westerners movies.

I'm currently under depression state. Do not disturb.

Please pardon my inactivity.

I promise Popiah Ling will be back after mid July.

Moral of the Story:

I've screwed enough shit, more than I can shit.

None.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

挥出一双拳头 何方的妖兽 一一被吓走

The title was from part of the lyrics for Digimon Adventures 02 OP theme (canton version), proudly sang by Andy Lau.

Horrible eh?

Suddenly at this very point of my life, I felt like a NEET.

I might not be in education nor in any sort of trainings yet, but I'm Under Employment.

(hence my logic thinking tries to contradict the NEET feeling within me)

I felt like the Yutaka Itazu or Pantsu from Eden of The East. The sudden I-wish-to-quarantine-and-seperate-from-the-outside-world feeling.

Yes, I've stop joining any sort of skill classes like languages or martial arts.

I've indulged more into movies and anime, drowning myself into the entertainment world which includes games.

I have no urge to study. I hate the outside world.

I'm starting to get tired of my work.

I'm starting to blanking out in front of the laptop, don't know where to browse.

I'm starting to get sick of movies and anime.

I'm not having any urge in my creative output.

And,

It's not because I'm repenting over my sole mistake in life.

My mind just simply went b.l.a.n.k.









Somebody, please suggest some life for me.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Information (Feelings) Overload.

I'm a 60% straight, with 40% narcissism.

After a great chat with a friend of mine and pretty much of revelations on what society called 'Illicit Love', I can't help but to pen down my own opinion.

Illicit. Love.
In my opinion, is actually an over expression of the common admiration.

I shall define the term 'common admiration' with my very own limited amount of vocabulary.

-------
Common admiration is actually slight positively directed jealousy which is felt upon seeing a person with better qualities than own self from own perspective.
-------


Example:
-Person A is filthy rich, smart looking, intelligent, fit, drives Rolls Royce, wears Prada, checks out own Rolex.
-Here comes Person B seeing all these great qualities of Person A, and expressed admiration towards Person A.


Common expression of admiration includes the thoughts of Person B wanting to do better in the job, work harder than the search engines available so that own self will be able to achieve whatsoever qualities that Person A has.
It serves as a force and aim for own self to work extra harder.

Over expression of admiration however works the other way round. Maybe, I said maybe, Person B did have the intention to work extra harder. But what if Person B has too became so attracted and obsessed with this holy Person A's looks and crooks, to the extend of wanting to own the Person A? The obsession maybe temporal, but may persists for quite some time.
(worse if Person B has the chance of seeing Person A often)


Once again, let me repeat my core topic of this post.

Illicit.Love.

Confusions occurred whether it's just the admiration or love.


Have you given a thought on how these two sentences vary to you?

"I like you."
"I love you."


----
So what do you meant by 'like' and 'love'? Have you given them proper definitions?



Wikipedia's 'Like':
'Like' can be used to express a feeling of attraction between two people, weaker than love and distinct from it in important ways. It does not necessarily imply a romantic attraction.


Over expression within own self has brought the 'Like' term way beyond the feeling of attraction...weaker than love. The gush of adrenaline brought upon Confusion, in which is more vulnerable to those who don't have enough experience on 'Like' and 'Love'.


Some chose to abruptly conclude that it's 'Love', which hence brings up the society's Illicit Love.
Some chose to deny it, saying that it's 'Like', but secretly doubting own stand, hence Confusion.

This is why I say it's an over expression of admiration.


You knew that you can't just make a logical decision with your happy-hormones-flooded head. Calm down and think over about it again. Was it just Confusion?



Unless, you are genetically or mentally destined and determined to be in this sort of "Love" a.k.a. Illicit Love.

To me, 'Like' is admiration. 'Love' is romantic attraction.



And, whatever 'Love', is always blind.

To your own definition of 'Like', if you 'Like' this post, click on the 'Like' button below.
-Maybe Facebook wants to play safe with 'Like' and 'Love'.-

Saturday, March 5, 2011

The World of Midnight.

The World of Midnight
Someday I want to run away
To the world of midnight
Where the darkness fill the air
Where it's icy cold

Where nobody has a name
Where living is not a game
There, I can hide my broken heart
Dying to survive

There, no one can see me cry
The tears of my lonely soul
I'll find peace of mind
In the dark and cold world of midnight



After 21st of February 2011, I have a changed perception of the sentences like "You sure can do it!" and "I believe in your capability!" etc. To me, they are only usable when you are actually very confident that you will own all of the papers in your exam.

Otherwise, they are nothing but a waste of effort of being said or typed out. Sometimes, it gives more tension or pressure instead.

From this post, I guess you will realise that I'm still sulking over my results.


"It's too late to sulk at anymore. Accept it and take whatever comes into your hand in future."

"It's was your damn @#$% fault. Another stack of cash is gonna be spent on your damned repeated education that you have missed."

"If I could have abandoned everything before just to focus on my studies.."

"Why am I so worthless?"

"What the hell am I gonna be studying in future with these sucky results?"



It's really hard for a person who scored 11As in SPM to accept that she quit college and screwed her STPM as well.

It's an added pain when I hear some friends scored so well for things that I could have done but I abandoned it long before. And I still haven't got the guts to follow up with the shit I've pushed aside.

Working somehow cured partial of the wound. The office's finance manager is a fallen head boy of Chung Ling. Many of my colleauges were from science stream but swtiched to arts. Some did courses that were not relevant with the job they are doing now.

When I tried to pen down for a personal statment, I couldn't write a thing.

The things that I've did are extremely deviated from my 'purposed' goal - to be in Science stream.

What the fuck am I gonna say about winning this 3D Games Design Competition for two years and a President seat of a Dance Club, relating to the Science course I'm gonna pursue?

I'm not doing Mass Comm or any IT courses?!

I even tried thinking, why did I do so well for SPM? Ah yes, for college. But that served no more purpose as I quit college at the end of the 1st semester.

Why did I enter STPM? I think it was because for its challeging studies. But alas, I'm owned instead of I owned.

I get pissed off at every second my mum mentions about my failure and also started to blame herself for not pushing me harder back then. I don't like my mum to take things onto herself because it was totally my fault.

But neither do I like my mum to be metioning it at all. I never felt comfortable with the damned topic.

I never really had a lot of memories on my high school days besides totally grounding at home (i.e. no outings) for tuition, naps and books. Should have did the same during STPM.

She blamed on college, on how much I've changed. I won't deny that statement.

I couldn't cry for the pathetic me, because I'm standing at the twilight, neither light or darkness.

I feel sick about the current me. I don't have the motivation to repicking my shits - Japanese, Taekwando and some academic topics. All I could do is to sit there and continue sulking on my no-efforts.

That's one part why I don't like going home. I don't want to go home to face all the sadness. The disappointment. The devastation.

Half of the worries were gone upon receiving my results. Now waiting to reclaim the other half of peace - local university dispatchment.

The uncertainty feeling is still haunting me. All I just do is to work work and work the hell out of my asshole, drown myself into the sea of paperwork and office mess.

Don't pity me. It will make me even more gloom. I might under perform even more.

Once in a while I wished to Buddha, seeking for another chance to prove myself, and to reclaim my past glory.

I might sound a bit unrealisticly confident, but this is me.

The me, who doesn't know what she's interested in.

God's not at home. He's on vacation at Vegas.
-Eda , Black Lagoon.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

未来え

Honestly speaking with these results:

A, B, B-, C+

It's not exacty a turning point, it's a point of inflexion. And with the babi C+, it's gonna be tough.

And oh, I love how the A is printed on my cert though it has the same font and font size as others, but it's just so.. pretty.

But the C+ is. ==

It's just.. ==

I'm not even qualified for IMU or UCSI pharmacy?!



The unexpected results is actually a blockage.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Bear the Bare.

Before reading this, just want to reconfirm my state of mental : Absolutely normal.

But it won't be a surprise for some mentally problematic people to keep insisting they are very fine.

There has been quite some amount of suicides here out of depression in just two weeks stretch.



Anyway, here it goes.

Just right just now, I've been ticked off by a certain individual on the excessive usage of

'Don't know.'


Pretend yourself in this situation:

I were to give you some greatly difficult IQ quiz to solve, and you got stuck.


Most of us will usually surrender by saying, "I give up. I don't know the answer."

I'm absolutely okay with this type of "I don't know."



But this situation:

I came in and say, "Hi everyone, I'm Popiah."


The statement is absolutely neutral. In a way that, it's not a question, so you don't need to have the "I don't know." choice to answer. Most of us will reply with a hi, so keep quiet since it's a weird stranger saying hi out of no where.

What really ticks me off is the expression of "Don't know." being used as frequent as whenever or whatever you are doing.


"Oh you bathed!" Babi A says.

"Don't know. " the Babi B which had a mud bath replies.


You may not get what's my point here until you meet some people who actually do use it too freaking often on you, provided that:

  • you have already confirmed that you are not his/her enemy and
  • you are perfectly a good guy/girl which people won't ignore.



"So, you have eaten!"
"Don't know."


I'll spank that "Don't know" individual real hard if he/she shrugs while saying "don't know."

Silence is gold. Ignorance is bliss.

Can't you just give a nod or shake if you are reluctant to reply? Or just keep your mouth shut?

Stupid answers. You are not even a handsome/beautiful person, so saying "Don't know" on every single possible statement certainly won't make you as cool as peanut jelly butter toast.

This rambling too applies to those who keep using "Whatever." and worse case, "Whatever lah."

These two - "Don't know" and "Whatever" , clearly show that you are someone worth to be not asked with any good questions, because you are perfectly unconciously and conciously persistent over minor neutral issues like eating and bathing questions.

In short - DEGIL.



The other "Don't know"s that I never favoured are those who like to end their excellent speech with

"I don't know." inclusive of a shrug.

What the eff la. People were impressed and deeply enjoyed with your content of speech and yet you spoiled the whole piece with that damned line.

And sometimes along with some jerking of the shoulders up and down.

Example:

This Babi B is giving some explanation to Babi A about how great are Subway sandwiches.

"They baked their own breads right on the spot, and they will take it out from the oven upon your order. After ordering the main ingredient for your sandwich, you can request if you want to toast your cheese. As for other toppings like vegetables, there are a whole range to be choosed from, like lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers etc. After that you can picked the sauces you want to put before they serve you the sandwich......
I don't know."




Eh, excuse me? I believed that I was deeply amazed by your excellent explanation as though you are one of the Subway creator.

Why did you say you don't know? And why did you took the trouble to explain the whole thing to me if you @#$% don't know what you are talking about?

If you are NOT SURE, you may end your sentence in a better way like:

"I just ate Subway once, so I'm not very sure."

Sounds better right.

Don't just simply "I don't know. I don't know" ?!

It makes you sound as though you are really lacking in some confidence and professionalism in your professional talk. "I don't know" made one's statement as though he/she made up that statement (it sounds like not a fact actually)just for the sake of saying "I don't know" after it.


But if you are really mad and used "I DON'T KNOW!" and "WHATEVER", I won't be ticked off. More like I'll retreat myself from being involved in the conversation to prevent fire outbreak.


Once again, if your capitalised "I don't know." and "whatever" has the same meaning as the ones I've stated above, it won't make a single shit of difference on how much I'm gonna be
"deeply touched down to the core of my heart".



And if you are one of the "Don't know"s and "Whatever."s, you better watch out.

Don't ever do it in front of me, you don't know where's my limit. Don't try me.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

十五巴仙

心情有点像波浪, 由上而下, 由下而上, 不好也不坏. 就发表一个不益于香蕉人的部落格.

在一家书店

工作

好难受

十一个小时

每星期六天

四块钱一小时 (做久点就是四块五十仙)

很想要辞职

但是想了几回

好像有点对不起书店里的那班热情 带有讽刺性 的工友

本来月旬须扑书店周年晚宴

但是就在昨天

(天哪! 就是那么巧!)

有个顾客可能对我的优秀 (有点夸张了吧..) 的口才有兴趣

在我好心把我所知道的补习电话号码用简讯传了给她

那晚

她就回复说到

她公司需要一个临时接待员

有兴趣的话可以推销我

一千三百块

一星期五天

八个小时

工作地方还好是早上妈妈上班时有经过的

我还未肯定我的选择

那公司人力资源部的代表拨了一通电话给我

向我解释那儿的接待员是要做什么的

签收快邮

接电话

传一些备忘录给不同的工作人员

(= 要知道谁是谁, 在那个部门等)

等

还以为新年过后才换工作的

至少不会好象有点背叛他们的罪恶感

但是新公司那边要求拜一就要来

上班

*晴天霹雳*

晚宴不去算了

那个极度罪恶感侵入我心中

我刚被调换到参考书的部门

我的监督是个已有差不多四旬的男人

很有忍耐力

我有不懂的地方至少也不会 讽刺 挨骂

我没去休息也不会被 吹 讽刺

真的很佩服他对每本参考书的记忆力

从幼儿书至成人书籍

都记得清清楚楚

真的很享受这个参考书部门的无忧无 讽刺 虑的环境的时候

得退出了

有点对不起那个老人家

得一人处理成百的新书及旧书

只跟他说我想辞职的念头

他没说什么

只是说找工作时该考虑什么方面等

好像有点不舍得我无端端丢下他一个

*罪恶!*

请原谅我!!!!

到时侯那个公司不要我的时候

要是书店还肯收留我这不孝

我一定会回来的!


钱, 可引人, 也可毁人.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

あけましておめでとうございます。- No. 3


To the future.

Third year in blogging and still surviving.

Don't think I will be very active in blogging this year onwards, as I've got myself a job.

And really need to catch up on a lot of myself, giving myself more ME time and reflections.

I need a fresh start.

To begin my year, let us see what are my 2010 resolutions and what I have done with them:

2010's 7 Resolutions

#1 Maintain less than or equal to 50kg
(fail, now 55kg due to overeating during STPM)
#2 Pick up Japanese or French
(fail, STPM ended in mid December, and I went off partying and outing DX)
#3 Less online activites = More studying = A*
(partial failure, no comments)
#4 Less manga reading and anime washing.
(success after STPM. LOL.)
#5 Be able to drive
(fail, still fail.)
#6 Spendthrift
(overspent after STPM.)
#7 Cosplay for Prom!
(fail. Never even went for Prom.)

Now you can see why 2010 is practically a failing year for me.

And now, brand new ones:

2011's 7 Resolutions

#1 Aim for 50kg
#2 Repick Japanese ASAP
#3 Less online activites = More studying
#4 Be able to get the course I really wanted
#5 Be able to drive
#6 Complete most of the art projects planned
#7 Spending own hard earned money on things I want

...(and more to come and to be done, again.)

あけましておめでとうございます。

2010 : Seperate Ways.

Mournings.

As 2010 ends, I will put an end to my lousy performance.

I really slacked off alot, time to buckle up, stand and walk again. I've been telling that to myself, over and over again.

And tried that with a whole loot of procrastination.

Definitely not a good recipe for good results.

*sighs and bangs tables with her fists*

Should have devoted myself more to serious stuffs instead of being distracted by less prioristised issues.

I'm not going to list down what I have done for the past year because it's just too much.

The important ones were listed in my 2010 blogposts.

All I can say that I've gained alot of EXP points, an iPhone 3Gs, The Sims 3 and its expansion packs and of course memories of long lasting friendships.

Thank you for the memories. ♥

Au revoir 2010.