| im bored. why the hell not? |
[August 28, 2007 @ 2:49am] |
yoooo. im freakin bored. decided to give livejournal a shot since nobody reads it anyway. life is good. i have an awesome job in downtown chicago and the boyfriend & i are looking to move there possibly, though we are wanting to move to orange county more than anything, but since bianca is so little we cant take her away from my mom and the rest of the fam just yet. plus, we dont trust random baby sitters. definitely not. my mom is a great grandmother and loves to watch our little poop shoot when both of us are busy working.
i could go on and on, but i am so proud of myself. i am actually jumpstarting my career of choice. i always wanted to be in the entertainment business but it seems so unrealistic. theres so many people that fail when they think they have what it takes. reality tv really discourages me everytime i see a judge cutting someone down about their talents whether its singing, dancing, or whatever else they can come up with. none the less i am finally doing something that makes me happy and easily pays the bills :) nothing like a job where i work doing what i love and get disappointed when its over and i can go home. haha. but yeah, life is good.
what else? hrmm. im little. i weight like 102. now i know some lindsays, nicoles, and mary-kates out there that probably weight 80lbs or less but i guess being small is not good for my height or something cause everyone seems to notice. well, the mom and boyfriend. and i have to admit, going from a c cup to a b cup is not something i necessarily looked forward to. i want boobs. i do. go ahead and think im an idiot for wanting them. i do and i will most likely get them sometime in the near future so suck it.
godd, mtv sucks. i dont even know why i leave it on while i lounge on the couch and am clearly not paying attention to it too much anyway. but im not gonna lie, the staging of their so-called reality tv shows does intrigue me just a little...
i love my boyfriend. i am working a bit with something else i do to make that cash mon-eyyy on the computaaa but i cant wait to cuddle with him on the most comfortable bed ever with our daughter at our side. ahhh. i love being a mom. and you know what? fuck you if youre one of those types that are all "omg! she has a baby! she's so young! OMG! LETS GOSSIP AT HOW MUCH SHES MISSING OUT ON NOW!". its funny cause i never used to see through the eyes of a pregnant or young mother but gosh, i remember so many people talking shit and now i am on that boat. im a young mother but my life is probably better than most, regardless of having a baby. i live in a house much to big for the 3 of us, i have a loving boyfriend who will someday be my husband & he treats me like a queen, my daughter is beautiful and awesome and will stomp all over your face, we have THREE cars, two of which are BMWS, ones a 745Li and the bf just bought another,a 645. hott. bianca is more than well taken care of. i got to build my dream nursery for that kid. she's a brat. haha. but we're all down to earth, and she'll have to be too. my boyfriend and i have both been from the bottom to the top in our lives. both are families had their downfalls moneywise at times and its motivated the both of us to want to accomplish more for our lives. BLAH! but this isnt about how much we have and yadada. this is just to show that we have everything and more and bianca just makes life that much more sweet.
on another note, my new idol is kim kardashian (i know i spelled her last name wrong). she's got a huge ass in which i lack, but dayyyum she is one sexy brunette! she's rich, gorgeous, wanted, and owns her own rim line. i seriously want a replica of her white range rover. not only is it white but it is also accented with pink, but very discretely. I LOVE IT. i will try my best to make a replica of her's within the next year or two. im not joking.
another thought, haha, im thinking about alot. i miss all the cool people i used to meet at shows since i was like..in middle school. godd. cristal was awesome. ive experienced so much with that girl. she was so easy to talk to. we got close through a friend who knew us both yet we didnt know eachother and then she turned out to be the shittiest friend ever to us both so WE got close. yup. we were such badasses,,,aka complete losers...haha. but we didnt care. good times. ive had awesome friends. i remember meeting sam sam for the first time in chicago. she came up to me. i loved how outgoing she was but when it came to boys...they frustrated the fuck out of her. haha. miss our friendship. alicia was cool too. i wonder how everyone is doing these days but as far as ALL the ppl i met in those times and who i still keep in touch with, id have to say cristal's probably the only one and that is very rare when i do but in the same sense, she's the only one really worth putting an effort to keep in touch with cause we were extremely close! blah! tyler really put a damper into our friendship! :( i really wish i had spent more time in indiana with my bestfriend then with that jerkoff that only made my life worst in a state i definitely did not fit into. no offense, i met some cool kids in iowa, but they were all so far up my ex's ass because he was such a dick that it made ppl respect him. sooo manipulative. i really never cared to keep in touch with him since, though he had attempted to and then would get pissed off at me and start being rude. hahah. but man, he had so many issues. i hope, for any girl's sake whom he may have a future with, that he's changed. no girl deserves the tyler i was ever so fortunate enough to have a relationship with...ew.
coolest ppl from iowa ever were the 'iowans' from too pure to die. brett, original member, coolest most bad ass guy ever and would kick your butt in one-two. i liked the individuals i met there. emily was cool. i never got to spend enough time with her. lots of whores there. tylers cheated on me with so many girls in that state ALONE that would seriously add me as a friend during the time of cheating. godd, i love looking back at who i was cheated on with...or what..HAHA. okay okay im joking. sort of. but ew, that brought down my self esteem so bad. no more of that. i realize who i am and what im worth and now that i finally have it, i am glad i will never be put into that state ever again and if i get even remotely close to that again, i will move on but that wont be happening. i finally met someone who's real, knows who they are, and has completely taken my heart, and i have his :) he respects me so much i almost felt as if it was too good to be true because of my previous relationship. my boyfriend and the daughter he's given me are two of the best gifts i could have ever received.
godd, let me ramble ok? you're not reading anyway.
sick of being the darkest brunette ever but i get discouraged when idiots from the salon that i pay $200 to color my hair put two strands of blonde in my hair and make it look worse than it was previously. story of my life. so i dye it dark brown or blackest black. very hot but getting old.
enough of this. im getting hot. need to turn up the a.c. and go sleep in my undies with my cuddlebug. im annoying but i love my life and i think when you have it good, you need to record it somewhere cause if something were to go bad in my future, i can look back on this and these memories and remember that i felt on top of the world at one point in my life and it was freaaakin awesome :)
here goes some pics to reflect on for those of you who care to take a looksy :)
fashion show at ruby// downtown chicago.
posing in some old outfits.
okay! i was gonna post more but meh. im tired.
goodnight livejournal.
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sleepy
anxious
