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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in wotan_tyger's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Wednesday, January 1st, 2014
11:09 am
Thoughts on the New Year
I know that New Years' journal posts are a trite and tired cliché, and I tend to avoid them for that very reason. Likewise, I long ago gave up on making New Years resolutions—roughly around the time in my adult life that I suddenly discovered that I had lost the ability to make solid plans for myself. Somewhere around the age of 25-26, which was right in the worst part of the 1990-1994 Recession, I discovered that every time I made plans, some factor would crop up at the very last second, and would serve to change or cancel those well-thought-out plans.

Hence, that very thing gave rise to the closing stanza of my piece: The Real World/Generation X:

But that's just part of being an adult,
and on this one truth, you should never lose focus:
Every plan you make is always subject
to change or cancellation without notice.


In the years since, that very same inability to make solid plans has only intensified, to the point, where I've essentially had to adopt a policy of simply living day by day, and also get used to the idea that even the vague plans I make generally need to be reset, recalibrated, delayed and/or rescheduled on a daily basis.

Another added source of depression is that my birthday is on New Years Eve, and yesterday I just turned 42. It's the same age that Elvis was when he fell off the Graceland toilet bowl for the last time, and the same age that Gary Coleman was when he (allegedly) fell down the stairs. It's the age, where I know that I'm now well past the halfway point in my life (no male in the recorded history of my immediate family has made it past 84, and most have died in their late sixties, or early seventies).

I never thought that I would have reached the age that I am at, with so very little to show for it, where, out of all the people I knew and grew up with, even the biggest goof-offs and fuckups have somehow managed to get further in life than I have.

The biggest problem is that after a certain number of failures, the vicious cycle of depression, self-doubt and hopelessness just begins a feedback loop that gets harder and harder to break out of, and the old pop-psychology bromides (to steal Ayn Rand's favourite expression), of magically forcing yourself to 'develop a more positive attitude' and 'fake it ’til you make it' are things that I have neither the energy nor the inherent mendacity to project.

Hence, if there's one resolution I could try to make, it's one that's both deceptively modest, but at the same time almost leviathan in size, and that is to try and find for myself a centre and a balance that I can hold on to in my life. I have lacked that for several years now, and I have come to realise that over time, that really DOES lead to a monumental, cascade failure in both your life and personality, and nearly everything: from social life, to relationships, and career, tends to follow.
In many ways, it's the realisation that my proverbial ship is drifting towards the perilous waters of the man without purpose.

So, I don't know what 2014 might hold, but I need to find that centre and that balance once again.

Current Mood: depressed
Wednesday, December 4th, 2013
9:15 pm
The Triumvirate Chronicles
This is just a heads-up that my friend and occasional writing collaborator Alexander Dundass has just published the first volume in his epic series The Triumvirate Chronicles on lulu.com.
You can find it here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=1238106

Those of you, who are interested in the Sci-Fi/Space Opera genre of fiction know better than anyone else that the field is very crowded these days, and truly fresh and original ideas are few and far between. Essentially, it's mostly been done before.

I will fully admit to being a little biased in this particular case (as I have partially collaborated with Alexander in several of the later volumes in the series), but I think in this case, I feel fairly safe in saying that Mr. Dundass has indeed come up with some unique ideas and unusual angles in his approach to this genre, and indeed, his ideas are what attracted me to the project in the first place. As it has been a number of years in the making, I am very happy to see the finished product finally beginning to see the light of day.

In summary: the Universe of the Triumvirate Chronicles goes a long way from the Utopian idealism of so many epics before it: this Universe is rough around the edges, and is a place of striving and struggle, where both the future and the past are constantly colliding.

Check it out!
Saturday, August 17th, 2013
5:39 pm
My New (2010-2013) Poetry Collection
Hey all, Just wanted to let you know that my new (2010-2013) poetry collection: The Problem With Revolution, is now available on my lulu.com page, should it interest you. (http://www.lulu.com/TrevorPatrick) Even better, the amazing cover art is by the lovely and talented Fishy Boner ( http://www.furaffinity.net/user/fishyboner or http://www.bonepilestudio.com ), and I think it is one of the best and most evocative pieces she's ever done (of course, I might be biased). :P
Saturday, May 11th, 2013
8:30 pm
Morpheus' Most Beautiful and Wicked Daughter
I must apologise at the outset for having been awful quiet of late. This poem will go a long way towards explaining why. Essentially, long story short, I have had an impacted wisdom tooth, which I have needed to have removed for several years now, but because non-essential dental surgery is not covered under my Govt. health plan, and also because I haven't had a good enough job to offer dental coverage in quite a long time, I was essentially in a position of having to find a way to pay for the surgery out of my own pocket, as it was always considered "non-essential elective surgery".

Unfortunately, as of about a week ago, the situation suddenly blew up into a bona-fide emergency, as I developed a severe infection in my jaw, my neck, and which spread up to my ears. My face and chin quite literally looks like a lopsided version of Herman Munster, and my neck makes me look like the Michelin Man. Likewise, the swelling made it so that I could no longer open my jaw wide enough to eat solid food, and even trying to speak was absolute agony.

I eventually was booked in for emergency surgery on the 15th (as they have to try and get the swelling down enough that they can even open the jaw wide enough to perform the surgery), and I have been in an absolute physical Hell of some of the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life.

I am also doped up to the gills on Oxycocet, which has proven to be the only thing that even touches the pain. However, I am also finding out the hard way all about the very nasty side-effects and high price that Oxycocet demands for doing her job.

Hence, this poem has quite literally been written in a bizarre fog of pain and detachment...

One final bit about it, I also used a bit of inspiration from a job I used to have in the early nineties, where I worked in a pharmacy that prescribed Methadone. One day, the pharmacist passed me a note telling me to go and get her some orange juice to mix with the methadone, as she was too busy to leave the pharmacy and do it herself.

Except...

Her writing made "orange juice" look more like "ovary juice". I realised even then just how beautifully Freudian that really was, and I've been waiting for a chance to use it ever since.

So, I'll fully admit that I'm no Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and will never be, but this has indeed given me an opportunity to write a poem while chasing the proverbial dragon.

And finally, this situation is also forcing me into a situation, where I may be missing up to a week of work when all is said and done, and although I am looking at my options for accessing unemployment support, in the mean time, I am no longer able to pay my rent this month. So, I would humbly beseech all of you, who do appreciate reading my work, to PLEASE consider picking up a copy of my poetry collection off of lulu.com, because right about now, every little bit will help. (Again, the paperback is pretty cheap)

Thanks...


Now, as for the poem...


Morpheus' Most Beautiful and Wicked Daughter -©2013 by Trevor Patrick


A gift of Opium the Chinese dragon,
Borne to life with her floral tears,
From a scintillated egg laid on Paracelsus' murky banks,
Burst wise Morpheus of Dreams.

He soon took Medicine & Science,
As his happy, blushing brides,
Their eyes apple-bright, cheeks poppy-red,
They all shared the bridal bed that night.

The first of their children was Diacetyl the Heroic,
Followed not long after by Paregoric the Stoic,
Third in this family was Laudanum the Syrup-Drinker,
And the fourth and smallest of this early brood was Little Codeine the Thinker.

Each of them had their own, unique virtue,
Which often came at high long-term price,
Where the able helper transforms to the heartless slave-master,
And Uncle Thanatos always hungrily sought his prize.

For centuries they lived happily in their smoke-filled dens,
And professional offices filled with ponderous, leather tomes,
'Til the days of embarrassing Opium Wars,
And inconvenient Boxer Revolts.

And of course, in the West, we had the Yellow Peril,
From Fu Manchu to Charlie Chan...
And after all, if the Chinaman can't live without his dope,
Then we can live without the Chinaman!

By this time, Wise Morpheus and his ageless Brides,
Fully understood the danger their small family was in,
But as always, the answer came to him in constant visions,
He'd simply reinvent himself once again.

Soon enough, new children came along,
In the sterile confines of pharmaceutical machines,
Far removed from the ancient houses of literary inspiration,
And the Xanadu of Coleridge's dreams.

The first of this new, synthetic brood,
Was Methadone the Hag.
Trading her ovary juice for orange juice,
And a no-questions-asked paper bag.

Up and down the Ghetto Streets,
Just a shufflin' she'd go,
Muttering and sobbing loudly to herself:
Just Say No... JUST SAY NO!

But the most beautiful and wicked,
Of these new daughters by far,
Was Oxycodone the white bombshell,
In her TEC-35 NASCAR.

Take you for a little spin,
And take your pain away,
Though nervous, dizzy and shivering,
You think you might actually make it through the day.

You understand her increasing price,
And the other things she takes,
But you understand how awful it would be,
Should she suddenly slam on the brakes.

Priapus no longer visits,
And Sterquilinus no longer cares,
Only Crepitus refuses to leave,
Though there's no reason for him to be here.

But if this is the choice between the lonely fog,
And the higher price in pain,
All I can do is quietly sob,
And wait for things to be normal once again.
Friday, January 18th, 2013
5:13 am
Where's My Teabag?
An angry new poem that's very likely to make me fall afoul of Poe's Law...


Where's My Teabag? - ©2013 by Trevor Patrick

Love not the Earth, and the things therein,
Means use the world like a diaper.
'Cause Jesus is coming to clean up the mess,
And those Raptured, need not pay the piper.

And beautiful things are but snares of the Devil,
And all pleasures from Evil arise,
And scientific discovery is the worst wickedness of all,
Mere traps and wonders to confound all the wise!

If the facts should conflict with my hard-won faith,
Well, so much the worse for the so-called 'facts'.
'Cause the Good Book tells me everything I need to know,
And everything beyond it distracts.

And it's perfectly possible that you're right and I'm wrong,
And what you believe is the truth.
But my beliefs are different, and you won't like them none,
Nevertheless, I'll share them with you.

I can't spend every moment of my mortal life,
Believing fairy tales and fearing ghosts like a fool.
And I'd rather my soul be damned, than spend eternity in a place,
That's filled with superstitious assholes like you.

You say it's sinful to care about this world and its beauty,
When storing up treasures in Heaven's your duty,
This world's a warehouse of riches that are ours for the plunder,
So drill, baby drill!
And tear the mountains asunder.

Yes, drill in the Arctic, and spill in the Gulf,
While I climb in my helicopter to go shoot some wolves.
And who are you to criticise me, and say that that ain't a sporting racket,
Just what are you anyway? Some kind of Commie faggot?

I think of all that board-feet lumber when I look at redwood trees,
And little fishies all love oil-just ask any anchovy or sardine!
And smoke-filled skies mean progress, and clear-cut forests mean wealth,
And Pfiesteria piscicida is something that's really good for your health.

So where's my teabag? And where's the birth certificate?
And where's my Glock with the 30-round clip?
Gotta save all the babies, and nuke all the whales,
Gotta stop fag "marriage" 'cause they're all pedos that should be in jail,

And then there's the orchestrated fraud of the so-called Sandy Hook "massacre",
But if it's real, well that's what you get for taking God out of the classroom!
Not to mention teaching the lie that we all come from monkeys...
But did you really expect anything else from the demonRAT flunkies?

And all those little fairies will shriek,
'Save the Environment!' While destroying your job,
And then they'll give all your hard-earned money,
To the worthless "Occupy" mobs.

But all I want's my teabag,
And I'll take it however it calls,
Whether it's from a congressional page,
Or in an airport restroom stall.

Current Mood: angry
Monday, December 17th, 2012
8:23 pm
"Dignified" Extinction
I've been working on about six new poems recently, and all of them seem to fit a particular theme: namely they're all blunt and angry screeds that have rough meter and and lots of unconventional rhyme... I think this means that I may have entered one of those mystical "artistic periods". Perhaps this is my "Angry Screed Poems" period, as I've already had my Teen Angst, Atmospheric, Wildlife, and Absurdity periods. :P As for this one, it's my attempt at "kicking at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight", with regards to some of the new (and in my opinion sick and dangerous) ideas about wildlife "conservation", which are gaining a great deal of traction and popularity of late. I haven't named any names in this piece (except in one particular case), simply for legal reasons, but anyone with basic Google-Fu skills can figure out for themselves the parties I may be referring to...



“Dignified” Extinction – © 2012 by Trevor Patrick


The mystery of the snow leopard in the Himalaya peaks,
And the Florida Panther that hunts through the ’glades,
The ponderous jaguar revered by the Mayans,
And the leopard hiding in the leafy shade.

The majestic lion, who patrols the savannah,
And the tiger, who stalks the long grass,
Soon will disappear from their ancestral homes,
And fade into the mists of the past.

And though they’re the top predators, other species will follow,
A cascade failure of Nature from pole to pole.
A sterile future of nothingness,
Is the inevitability that truly lies in store.

There once was a time, where we thought we might save them,
In safari parks or in zoos,
And to ensure we had a large enough and viable population,
We’d need the private sector too.

For the plain truth is that we save what we love,
And we love what we see and understand.
Thus, the farther away and more abstract it is,
The less we’re motivated to actually give a damn.

But lately it seems there’s a new view,
That wild animals should only be saved in the ‘wild’.
That their so-called ‘freedom’ is more precious than life itself,
And in ‘captive slavery’, their beauty is defiled.

Of course, such viewpoints make some powerful assumptions,
That these creatures see a captive life the way that we do,
That every one rages against their confining walls,
And that they’d rather die than be in a zoo.

‘Wild animals should be wild!’ How often we’ve heard that?
Even if there’s no real wilderness left,
So these newly-enlightened people, in their infinite wisdom,
Believe that animals’ only hope of freedom is in death.
Ragnar Redbeard said in ‘Might is Right’, and I think he’s spot on the money,
That all great truths are hard and bitter, but lies are sweeter than honey.

It’s an emotional argument through and through,
To conflate slavery with Zoological Parks,
To never see them as storehouses of biological diversity,
Or the modern equivalent of a Biblical ark.

And they’ll have you believe we should surrender to the idea,
That if we can only save them in zoos…
Then letting them slip into so-called ‘Dignified Extinction’,
Is by far the most ethical thing to do.

Yes, ‘Dignified Extinction’—now there’s an oxymoron,
Just like ‘frozen steam’ or ‘compassionate rape’.
With the added bonus of containing the even bigger cognitive dissonance,
Of giving animals the freedom for you to decide their fate!

And the folks, who have an agenda of separating humans from nature,
Know that demonising animal ownership’s the first essential step,
And to stigmatise as deviant, those who identify with exotic species,
Was the perfect spot for the thin end of the wedge.

We’ve entered a brave new world of intellectual laziness,
Where most folks are wilfully blind,
And we’re finding out the hard way, that the greatest cruelties are done,
By those, who think that they’re being kind.

We’ve become a culture that worships death,
And has strayed far from the beauty of life,
Not long ago, it was ‘preserve the wilderness’,
And ‘who hears when animals cry?’

So slowly but surely, these falsehoods have infected the public,
And spread like a cancerous meme.
Like every radical agenda, it started with propaganda,
And lies so big they were utterly obscene.

It wasn’t all that difficult; just take a few prejudices,
And a few people with big cats being stupid or reckless,
Then suddenly every captive tiger was eating your children,
And being kept in Harlem apartments by the idiotic and feckless.

And all the sick jokes about Roy Horn: a fruit turned into a vegetable,
Courtesy of his buddy Montecore,
And all the cubs that were being killed when they were too big for photo shoots,
And can’t you hear Truck-Stop Tony’s sad, sad roars?

And the ‘canned hunts’ moral panic—now that was a good one!
Almost as good as 7,000 tigers in Texas.
And the gullible people, who bought into those lies,
And scream for legal protection from the fears that might vex us.

We’re living in a time where hypocrisy’s become a virtue,
It’s ‘do as I say and never as I do,’
And logical argumentation’s given way to shrill sloganeering,
And ‘infotainment’ sound-bites are what passes for the news.

You’ve proven beautifully adapted to this brand new reality,
’Cause you’ve certainly mastered the sloganeering art,
I’m constantly reminded of: ‘four legs good, two legs baaaaaaad’,
Just like George Orwell wrote in ‘Animal Farm’.

“There’s no such thing as ‘responsible’ big cat ownership!’”
Just like there’s no way to responsibly own a gun.
And you’ve made offensive and dirty the term: ‘captive conservation’,
And summarily decided every effort’s finished before it’s begun.

You’ve remade your image more times than Madonna or Lady Gaga,
And nothing you do or say seems to stick for long,
And even the folks who know where all the figurative bodies are buried,
You just jump up and down and scream and shout that they’re wrong.

But there’s also constant dread about how ruthless you can be,
With your online Pinkerton army that never sleeps,
Who’ll throw themselves in front of you to take any ideological bullet,
And let themselves be sacrificed and fleeced like sheep.

And the animal rights groups like HSUS and PeTA were shocked,
’Cause you’ve proven you’re the scrappiest little bulldog bitch on the block,
More ban laws passed in a single decade than they’ve achieved in thirty years,
You said: ‘to Hell with people’s better nature’, and you played upon their fears.

And the ‘conservation’ industry is like powerful bug spray,
In that it finds new ways to kill wildlife dead,
So the ‘charity’ executives can keep driving their Bentleys and Porsches,
And sipping Cristal in their private jets.

And the burgeoning populations of the poor and desperate,
Subsume the natural world to fulfil their growing needs,
But the wealthy of the West, who are blessed with so much,
Sacrifice Nature on the altar of greed.

Manage them to extinction within twenty years,
For they’re better dead than bred,
And a captive animal’s a dead animal, useless for conservation,
And snipped out of Nature’s web.

Neuter the studs for subspecies-purity eugenics,
On the remote chance they could accidentally breed,
And the sad, fat males; sad and flat under their tails,
Instead of carrying the proud potency of their seed.

For a captive male tiger is never truly out of the gene pool,
Just so long as he remains intact.
But you said they were useless, so you made them useless,
And turned your prejudice into fact.

But I’ll give you credit for a few things, though nobody else will,
And what do you think about that?
I’ve never come across anyone, who can more masterfully manipulate,
People’s instinctive fear of predatory cats.

And you’ve saturated the Internet and the media with your message,
In ways that would make most corporate executives drool,
And you completely grok much better than nearly anyone alive,
That there’s an endless supply of gullible fools.

But sometimes I think you’re not really about saving the planet,
So much as sitting back and watching it burn,
Behaving as if you’re the last generation, not caring for those who’ll live here,
Long after you’re feeding the worms.

And what will those future folks think of your decision,
To exterminate what could have been saved?
And there won’t even be memories of the beauty you knew,
And genocidally sent to the grave.

And I’m sure they’ll take comfort in their own ‘dignified extinction’,
Because you know eventual destruction’s our lot.
But you’ll leave a powerful lesson in the banality of evil,
And your insatiable urge to play God.

So please explain what’s so dignified about extinction,
So those whom you’re exterminating would understand,
And how could extermination—oops, I mean ‘extinction’, somehow be ‘managed’,
And how you could justify your pogrom as a so-called ‘Twenty-Year Plan’?

But there’s an even deeper question I’d ask you if I had the chance,
One thing I’d like to know the real truth of,
That’s: how did it become possible for you to wrap your head around,
Exterminating those, whom you claim that you love?

Current Mood: enraged
Friday, October 26th, 2012
9:28 pm
Words and Phrases I have come to despise.
There are a number of words and phrases that I absolutely cannot stand, simply because they mean something entirely different than their strict definition. Here are a few of them, and why I can't stand them.

(1) "Wonderful Opportunity" - I have never once, in my entire life, had someone utter those words to me in a sincere and truthful manner. Not ONCE. And this is from someone whom history has proven is so utterly stupid and gullible to have sold both Amway and Rainbow vacuum cleaners in the past. As soon as I hear those two words, or any similar phrase, all my proverbial alarm sirens immediately begin to wail like a submarine on dive.

(2) "Urgent Business Matter" - I actually think that this term is a registered trademark used only by collection agencies.

(3) ..."You really must understand..." - This one (and its more impassioned variations including "but you don't understand!") essentially translates to: "Why the fuck won't you agree with me?!?"

(4) "We will no longer require your services" - I hate this one because it's the absolute worst and foullest example of the euphemism treadmill that I know of. I think it's little more than a paper-thin and transparent veneer on a level of sneering contempt that I find breathtaking. I'd far rather hear: "You're fucking fired!" At least that one has a more immediate honesty to it.

(5) "Don't you trust me?" - Uhm, no.

(6) "Would I lie to you?" - You just did.

(7) "I would never hurt you." - Got it. I can expect two black eyes instead of just one.



I can think of plenty of others too, but these are enough to go on for now.

Current Mood: annoyed
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012
7:49 pm
When discussing inevitablities...
To all my fellow Canadian friends, I have four words to say:


Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.


Get used to it*












* To further clarify, I quite honestly and solidly believe that as long as the single most significant voting block in this country is represented by women of my mother's generation, who still get weak in the knees at the very mention of the word "Trudeau", the next election will be nothing less than a Coronation.

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012
4:28 pm
An Update...
Just an quick update on things... I want to sincerely thank all the folks, who have been kind enough to buy the poetry book, and who have also given it such great reviews.

You've all made me realise that I really have some great friends out there, and it's done a lot to restore the faith of this jaded, forty year old... :)

Current Mood: content
Thursday, August 9th, 2012
9:02 pm
My New Poetry Book
Just in case anyone's interested, my new Poetry book is on lulu.com The paperback is pretty cheap, and if you're nice enough to buy one and meet me in person, I'll happily sign it for you.

You can find it here: http://www.lulu.com/TrevorPatrick

Current Mood: accomplished
Wednesday, July 25th, 2012
11:51 am
Sparkling Water & Northwoods
Since it's almost time once again for the unique magic that is Feral...


Sparkling Water & Northwoods - ©2012 by Trevor Patrick (Wotan)

Gossamer clouds drift across pastel-blue sky,
A wistful reminder another year has slipped by.
Older and wiser, you hope one might say,
But perhaps old enough to be set in your ways.

As the horizon turns orange and evening becomes night,
Jupiter and Venus shining so bright,
To sparkling water and Northwoods my soul shall take flight,
As Feral as Elder Days.

Away from the progress and smoke of our wealth,
Away from vampiric careers that feed off our health,
Away from concrete boxes that take our well-being by stealth,
In Northwoods you shall find it again.

In bright, warming days, just to bask in the sun,
To rediscover simple fellowship and the child’s sense of fun,
And moment by moment, to cherish every one,
As Feral as Nature made us.

And the perfect-dark nights, magical wonders to behold,
Bright starlight so young yet incredibly old,
In absolute oneness so shall all truths unfold,
Feral Northwoods in clarion call.

Current Mood: Anticipation
Saturday, May 19th, 2012
10:13 pm
Politically-Incorrect thought for the day...
I just came across this on a forum I frequent, and the more I think about it, the less I find that I can argue with it.


FOREIGN AID (n) - The method by which money is taken from poor people in rich countries and given to rich people in poor countries (see: Haiti, Ethiopia, Sudan, Zimbabwe, Uganda, etc.)

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, April 10th, 2012
3:23 pm
The Underpants Gnomes run Youtube!
I think I've discovered the formula for success that's used by over 90% of the people who post amateur videos on youtube.

Poor to Mediocre Footage + Gratuitous Addition of Poor to Mediocre Music + Stupid and/or Unfunny Commentary = PROFIT!

Current Mood: irritated
Sunday, March 11th, 2012
1:10 pm
Rockin' Robins
I saw four robins hopping around on the front lawn this morning. Earliest I've seen them show up for the past few years...

There's still patches of melting snow on the ground, for Gawd's sake!

Current Mood: chipper
Monday, March 5th, 2012
9:18 am
In honour of Comrade Putin...
In honour of Comrade Putin, and in honour of the fine Russian owners of this lovely LiveJournal service...

Roses are red, violets are blue...
In Soviet Russia, Election win YOU!

Current Mood: amused
Thursday, March 1st, 2012
10:51 pm
A quote worth stealing.
Just came across this quote recently, and liked it enough to steal it: "Conservatives should learn the difference between a sin and a crime, and liberals should learn the difference between a virtue and a requirement."


That is all.

Current Mood: bitchy
Wednesday, February 15th, 2012
8:25 am
Happy SAD
Happy Singles' Awareness Day (SAD) to all other folks like me out there, who are long-term losers at the game of love, and who have long since learned to live with being alone.

This day is the safe harbour of sanity after the twenty four hours that represent my absolute least favourite "Holiday" in the year, which is about as comfortable to sit through as a root canal.

Current Mood: relieved
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
12:51 pm
Oh, boo hoo hoo! Rick Santorum's pussy hurts!
You know what? I was never bothered by any of the outrageous things Santorum has said in the media. He just always struck me as a man who is mostly made of distilled WHARRGARBL and Derpity-Derp. And after all, freedom of speech is freedom of speech, even if someone chooses to use that freedom like toilet paper.

The thing that cemented my opinion about Santorum was the story he told in the media about when his wife had a miscarriage and he insisted they take the dead "baby" home to show it to the other children, so they could "get to know it".

I don't know about you, but I think that is seriously fucked up. After that, I was pretty much of the opinion that this particular card-carrying member of the Christian Taliban deserves whatever he gets.

Faux Noise, of course, thinks differently: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/01/09/google-and-others-embrace-vile-attack-on-santorum/

Current Mood: bitchy
Thursday, December 15th, 2011
1:02 pm
Fuck Rogers Wireless. Fuck them sideways with a spinning pineapple.
I just received a letter from Rogers Wireless today... It was an acknowledgment that my current contract will be expiring in several months, coupled with a request for me to "consider signing up for a new three year contract".

Thank you, and Merry Chri$tma$ Rogers. I have given your kind and generous offer the five seconds of consideration it deserves, and I would like to invite you to insert it directly into your pooper where it belongs.

Current Mood: annoyed
Sunday, December 11th, 2011
4:08 pm
Worst. Xmas Songs. EVAR.
In light of the season, I thought I'd offer my own list of what I consider the top five worst Xmas songs EVAR. Your results may vary.



(5) A Wonderful Christmas Time - by Paul McCartney.

This came out at the pinnacle of Paul McCartney's career, where he had moved away from experimental psychedelia with The Beatles, and instead decided to concentrate on writing treacly love ballads about his wife. This seems to be required playing at every single suburban mall in the western world.


(4) Last Christmas - by Wham!

This inescapable earworm always makes me want to get really stabby.


(3) Dominick the Donkey - by Lou Monte

Sometimes fifties-style, institutionalised American racism can come across as almost cutely naïve. Unfortunately, this is not one of those times. Somehow, an EYE-tallyan Christmas song sung by a genuine pizza-pie EYE-tallyan is kind of like nails on a chalkboard. This is certainly not Dean Martin singing "That's Amoré".


(2) I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - by Gayla Peevey

The novelty value of this song wears off *FAST*.


(1) The Christmas Shoes - by Newsong

Mere words cannot describe how deeply I despise this saccharine, clumsy, manipulative piece of ess-aich-eye-tootie. It has about as much good taste as a crucified Jesus made of broken seashells.

Current Mood: amused
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