wannabe_tinyyy

didnt eat until lunch. had a salad. then got home and snacked and snacked. didnt eat dinner, just snacks UGH

I dont think im suicidal (though i was close to it a few months ago) I find myself wondering yet again what it would be like to just die...

Ive been gone so long, longer than ive ever been gone... last time i was here, i believe was right after i left my bf... well ex boyfriend now... i was really depressed and lost lots of weight bc of it.... i have managed to maintain a weight in the 130s for the past few months, and i am with someone else (since april) and have been really happy... i havent gained weight number wise but i feel that i look bigger...

my new guy and i were at the beach for a few days this past week, which i managed to not eat for a day and a half before leaving which helped a bit with looking somewhat decent in a bathing suit.... but ive been disgusted with myself... i tried to eat normally the last few months bc he eats, well, a lot... and at first we didnt hang out much so i managed to sleep through dinners and run all the time... now we are around each other most days so i eat a lot...

ive lost site of my goal, and this slow weight gain will start to speed up if im not careful, and i REFUSE to end up where i was before... i need to start to eat better (and less) and exercise more..

Here's to a fresh start.

HW - 160ish

CW - 150.5

LW - 133

GW1 - 140 --> May 16th (graduation)  - 23 days

GW2 - 130 --> June 5th (graduation party) - 43 days

GW3 - 125 --> July 4th

So roughly 20 days for each goal to be reached...  half a lb a day... gonna be tough but possible...

Depending on how these goals go, will depend on dates for my UGW so we will see... Im hoping to reach these... Really hoping!

Date Weight BMI Arms Waist Bulge Hips Thighs
4/21/10 155 25.8 11 in. 30 1/8 in. 36 in. 40 ½ in 24 ½ in

AHHHHH

today i have about 832.5 cal.... 312.5 being liquids... the rest from a small bag of chips and a 3 musketeers... grr!

going to the gym later... hopefully i can burn 500 at least.

tomorrow i plan on eating only once.

http://www.formspring.me/AlyxC

ask me =)

Doing ABC starting tomorrow.... umm a few days will be changed around or ill fast other days to make up for eating more... like valentines weekend... and another weekend that im going out with my friend so she will suspect...

but the other days will be stuck with and i wont be starting over i will just continue as it says for each day.

<3

lunch was prolly 350 cal.... at most.

gym consisted of cardio... burnt 300 cal... im just getting back into the gym scene after break so it takes me a bit to keep going.

dinner was one of those steamables meals (not just veggies) - the whole bag was 400 cal. serving size is half a bag but of course i ate the whole bag =(


350 + 400 - 300 = 450 cal

im sure ill have a snack... idk


cant wait for spin class tomorrow!

November 24, 2009

Age - 22yrs
Sex - Female
CW - 149lbs BIGGER
BMI - 24.79 BIGGER

Butt - 40in SAME
Bust - 37 1/2in SMALLER
R. Thigh - 24 7/8in BIGGER
L. Thigh - 24 1/2in BIGGER
Waist (sucking in) - 29 1/2in BIGGER
Waist (Relaxed) - 31in BIGGER
Tummy Bulge (sucking in) - 33 7/8in SMALLER
Tummy Bulge (Relaxed) - 36 3/8in SMALLER
Arms - 11 5/8in BIGGER


i had my period for 12 days!!! yes 12! i know i know, i should see a dr. im working on that... but i gained a total of 8 lbs during a week! i lost all but 1 lb since my last measurements post i weighed 148. but i cant believe after all that i managed to get bigger in some places... yes i ate today so that could factor in so im not too upset by this...

but hopefully in two weeks things shrink again! =) have a good thanksgiving and i hope we can all do our best... i know for a fact i cant bc having divorced and remarried parents as children can add to lots of meals!

November 10, 2009

CW - 148lbs                    SMALLER
BMI - 24.63                     SMALLER

Butt - 40 in.                    SMALLER
Bust - 37 3/4 in.                    SMALLER
R. Thigh - 24 1/2 in.                SMALLER
L. Thigh - 24 1/4 in.               SMALLER
WAIST (Sucking in) - 28 3/4 in.               SMALLER
WAIST (Relaxed) - 30 7/8 in.               SMALLER
TUMMY BULGE (Sucking in) - 35in.               SMALLER
TUMMY BULGE (Relaxed) - 36 5/8 in.               SMALLER
ARMS - 11 1/2in               SMALLER