This is my church...

Anyone out there actually care about what I'm up to? Doubt it..

But I felt like posting so here we go...

In recent news I have a job. I don't like it so far. It's really boring. Hoping things pick up next week when we actually do computery things. I realise that the menial stuff is all part of IT but it is mind-numbing. Definitely don't want to end up in IT if I can help it. I have no interest in servers and IP routing...
And I know "it's a job" and I'm gaining experience... I'm getting on with it, just not feeling positive like I probably should be.

Apparently we're working too efficiently, moving 400 PCs was supposed to take 2 weeks... we finished last Thursday. Then we deconstructed the 50 or so for scrappage in 2 days. So now we are waiting til they finish installing the new servers so we can actually get on with hooking all the computers up, that and waiting for decorators/builders to get out of the way...

Basically I've spent a week doing heavy lifting, tearing my hands to bits, being bored, feeling my inner hippie dying (watching so much stuff just being binned- some of it is still in unopened packaging) and NOT sorting out my sleeping.

I miss my Reachout peeps... and endless tea...

We'll see if things get better.
Time to get back to it I suppose... Laterz

-A x

Lift Me Up by ~o-t4ng on deviantART

Life seems to be pretty good today... sun was out, successful training, chilled at Reachout, now have shiny new earphones and a working Zippo and my neighbour is playing James Blunt loudly through their back door... Also, still sharing love with To Write Love On Her Arms

OK... since we've breached yet another week (somehow) and I spent the first 2 and a half hours of it watching The Big Bang Theory (and quoting it over MSN with harveytheayeaye) *facepalm*... I am going to put up a list of things I need to do. This is mostly for me, but if you feel like prodding me to make sure I keep up with it go ahead!

Projects

Website
- Personal
- Professional
MotM Counter
D&D Game
Novel
Phoenix Centre Poster
Music Quiz
- Intros
- Pictures
- Lyircs?
MotM Graphics & Icons

Tomorrow

Call DWP
Post Amazon order
Upload Jenni's mixes
Remember cling film, Love Hearts, leaves, wall picture
Shopping
- Decaf tea
- Bananas
Pick up prescription
Sort CV
Apply for job/internships

Appointments this week

Wed - Training for Trainers
Thurs - Dr's
- Volunteer Meeting
May 5th - Job Centre

Life

GO TO BED
Don't sleep on the sofa
Plan meals/buy food
Clear out boxes!
Get rid of/sell some stuff
Apply for jobs
Exercise
Practice guitar

Future Purchases
Graphics tablet
New Dan Abnett Books
FFXIII Guide
Steering Wheel
Bones
Ong Bak 2
Fist of Legend

Stolen off lenyberry a while ago...

( Answers this wayCollapse )

So, I'm on a mission to create some kind of synergy of all my online profiles and things... If you wish to help out please feel free to do so...

If you are on any of the following sites and don't have me added, go ahead and click the link to be my friend!

Facebook
Livejournal
LastFM
DeviantArt
Twitter
Windows Live
Xbox360


X-Posted places...

Tagged by harveytheayeaye

List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
Tag seven people to do the same.
Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it.

1 - I love horror films, but have to have a light on if I'm watching alone. I'm also more scared by the music than most of the images so I turn the volume down when other people would hide their eyes. This is doubly true when creepy/dead children are involved.

2 - I still believe toys are sentient or at least have feelings and don't like them being mistreated. I feel bad when my stuffed monkey spends too long fallen down the back of the bed. I especially hate seeing stuffed toys as dog treats... Fudge currently has a pig which is looking a bit sad.

3 - I can teleport. (Well, I can use my ninja stealth skills to sneak up on people and walk beside them without them noticing, which makes them think I've teleported... shhhh! Don't tell anyone).

4 - I have an alarmingly accurate estimation skill. Whether it's picking out a certain number of cards from a deck or knowing what time it is without a watch... I have narrowed it down to a margin of error of about 5 either way... Sadly this skill does not extend to cooking... I always end up with too much or too little rice/pasta/potatos!

5 - On top of my phone-fear, I am also reluctant to cross roads until I know it's totally safe. Most people find this annoying, but a combination of my rigid saftey-conscious upbringing and the knowledge that noone in Scotland knows how to use indicators properly have only served to reinforce the habit of waiting an extra long time on pavements. I also always make sure there is someone between me and the traffic, just in case...

6 - I have some disturbing violent/sociopathic urges... any child under waist height walking in front of me has the potential to be punted out of the way. I also get the urge to snipe people from my flat windows. The sniper fantasies particularly take over around tall buildings... this was bad in Oxford when I lived near a tower block (on its own in the middle of an estate overlooking a play park).

7 - I follow the principle of parkour that things should flow forward. Everything has to flow and segue... conversations, activities, etc. To this end I hate walking back the way I came and will often take a circuit rather than walk straight back down the same street - this is also sometimes out of the desire not to look like a weirdo just pacing up and down a street...



I tag noone (it's not against the rules) since I only know 3 people who still use LJ and/or read mine and they've all done this already.

OK, so I just checked and I made a grand total of 11 posts in the whole of the last year. At least 50% were lyrics and 2 were memes... not a good showing, but then I think that noone actually reads this anymore, so it doesn't make much difference. I used to auto-feed it to Facebook, but since I've renounced FB, that's not an issue anymore anyway.

Keep feeling that I should write more and having reread my journal about a month ago I do wish I could write like that again. Problem is what to write about. My life has become such a mundane cycle of banalities that it's pretty hard to be enthused about chronicling it. I don't want to end up with one of those boring journals about how I queued at the shop for half an hour or what I made for dinner. But then again I don't want to depress you all with constant emo whining, which I can pretty much gurantee will make up a lot of my writing. That's most of the reason I stopped posting, because every week was the same lame stuff. And during the re-read I noticed that things really haven't changed all that much. I'm just older and not at Uni anymore.

So, I will try and be more of a regular updater, my mental health worker says that writing things down is helpful, so for that alone I will try and make an effort. However, everytime I do sit down to wrote something all useful thoughts leave my head and I lose all motivation. Plus my internet is being a bitch atm, so not sure exactly when I'll be back online.

Anyway gotta run.

Hopefully catch you (whoever you are) later.

A x

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finaly see what's good for you.

I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again.
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit