【EN】My “Spiri-Do” 4

By Senon Wakamiya
【EN】

When I first arrived here, a strange thought crossed my mind.

It felt as if I had somehow stepped into a workplace that resembled heaven.

An after-school day service for children with disabilities — a field in which I had almost no experience.
Originally, I was supposed to become a manager at a group home for adults or a supported employment facility that the company planned to build.

But those places exist only as plans for now.
There is not even a building yet.
So talking about managers or staff is still a little premature.

Until the group home or the employment program is actually built, I was assigned here for about half a year as something like an apprentice.
And unexpectedly, I now find myself struggling with elementary school children.

I did not see that coming.

What surprises me more, however, is something else.

Everyone here is kind.
Truly kind.

In life, you usually recognize bad people rather quickly.
Yet so far, I have not met a single one in this company.

The young teachers are competent, of course.
But beyond that, they are remarkable human beings.
That part still surprises me.

Thanks to the company’s support, we are given lunches that feel almost extravagant.
The company rules are strict, but only within the bounds of common sense.
Nothing about the place feels suffocating.

During the school term, I start work at 9:30 in the morning.
And every Sunday is a day off.

It has been a long time since I lived according to such a… human schedule.

There is another curious detail.

All of the teachers are beautiful.
And, even more remarkably, they have wonderful personalities.

Sometimes I wonder what my life had been until now.
And why, in this one company, so many charming people seem to have gathered.

That was when a strange thought came to me.

Perhaps I am already dead.

Perhaps I died once somewhere along the way, without realizing it,
and now I have been given another chance in a gentler world.

After all, there is a reason I think this.

At the end of last year, in my previous workplace, someone struck me hard on the back of the head from behind.
I lost consciousness for nearly an hour.

If the attack had come from the front, I believe I could have dodged it.
But a clean blow from behind, when you are completely off guard — there is nothing you can do.

So perhaps I really did die that day.

And perhaps God, feeling a little pity, allowed me to continue living for a while longer
in a company that feels almost like a dream.

I am only half joking.

Anyway, today I taught gogyouka poetry to the children.

Me — teaching gogyouka to elementary school students.
There was a time when I would never have imagined such a thing.

I had absolutely no interest in promoting or spreading gogyouka.
And yet there I was, talking about it in front of a class.

People change.

In truth, every time I prepared a lesson for the children, I ran out of ideas.
Eventually I thought,

“Why not just teach them gogyouka?”

Perhaps it was the most natural conclusion.

Still, for first and second graders, it may have been a little difficult.
Perhaps I asked too much of them.

But it was fun.

And then there is the real question.

What about my own gogyouka?

Last February, I told myself that if I lost weight, my writing would regain its sharpness.
That I would be able to write truly powerful poems again.

So I lost fifteen kilograms over six months.

And the result?

Did my poems become better?

To be honest… I have no idea.

Sometimes it feels as though I have not improved at all.
Even when I was heavier, I could already write many poems.

I have no clear sense of becoming better —
or worse.

And to tell the truth, almost no one reads them anyway.

So I have no way of knowing.

That is why I am openly inviting comments from anyone who happens to read this.

However, I am also an absurdly sensitive person.
So if you did not find it interesting, please feel free to pass by gracefully.

And if you did find even a small part of it interesting,
please exaggerate your compliments as much as possible.

I might become so happy that I refuse to sleep tonight.

For now, I am going to watch the next episode of Hot Spot on Netflix.

Netflix is a wonderful thing.
Being able to watch so many stories…

sometimes it feels like living inside a dream.

(The End)

SENON ARCHIVE -まとめのまとめ-

Contents (EN)
① Gogyouka (Five-Line Poems)
② Transformation Begins in the Body (walking / meals / notebook)
③ Sergei (dialogue series)
④ Dialogues & Inner Comedy
⑤ Declaration / Meta

Index (EN):

GOGYŌKA-EN

他言語版 / Other languages

【JP】Japanese:

【FR】Français：