Nothing like a good meme: Free Oleg!
Who remembers "Free Oleg"?

There was this guy, Oleg. He came to school with a "Disgruntled Postal Worker" costume -- vest with road flares & wires. This was when it was tasteless but hilarious, pre-Columbine.

The office told him it was tasteless, and to please take it the hell home. He stuffed it in his gym locker & forgot about it. A couple months later someone found it, thought it was a bomb, and a full-fledged bomb scare broke out at -30.

Oleg was suspended for two weeks.

There was one sign on the Fishbowl window recruiting people to come to school with a "Free Oleg!" shirt on for the assembly on a Wednesday.

Somehow, there were at least 100 quarter-sheet signs bearing the logo floating about. Oleg's sentence got busted down to a week...

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King Shawn nukes a cordless phone
This was ... wow. It had to have been '96 or '97 or thereabouts.


We were chatting. I heard the telltale signs of him getting bored. Him bored is dangerous. Him bored while stoned is even more so. He'd already slammed his nose in the door several times -- the first time by accident, the subsequent times to see if it would hurt any less. (It didn't.)

Him: "I wonder what would happen if I put this phone in the microwave."
Me: "Don't."
Microwave door: *slams shut*
Microwave: *beep beep beep HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU IDIOT?"
Phone: *sizzle crackle*
Me: "STOP IT, YOU IDIOT!!!"
Microwave: *HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*
Phone: *SZZCCHHHTTT POP SCCHCHCHTTHZZT POP POP HSSSST SZZZCTH*
Me: "YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY DOING THIS!!!!!!!!!"
Phone: *SZT ZZZT HCCCT SZZT SZZT!* *OMINOUS SILENCE*
My phone: "If you'd like to make a call..."
Weird Al: "In Allllllbuquerque!"
Me: "He didn't. He didn't. Oh, god, he did." *facepalm*
My phone: *rings*
Him: *subdued* "That's my third phone today."
Me: ...

Current Mood: nostalgic

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Because I was bored.
( Randomly generated trivia about Library Monkeys.Collapse )

Current Mood: bored

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Shawn Stories: Squirrel
Shawn ran out of weed.

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Shawn Stories: Can of Beans
Shawn vs. the Can of Beans

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Yo!
Welcome to the Library Monkeys' Livejournal center. It's not much, yet, but hey...

I was Queen of the Library Monkeys during the reign of King Shawn. My duties included being nice to people, diplomacy, and keeping the King from doing anything irrevokably idiotic.

May I note that Shawn was more of an idiot in my absence, and could have been a lot worse.

Anyway, welcome. Have fun, don't throw cheese, and make yourselves otherwise at home.

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