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mood

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shocked

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so really, i have the worst luck in the love department.

tonight was a solid reminder of how horrible i have it.
let's go through the run down of my lovely men:
had a sloppy first kiss, horrible second kiss, dated a guy who was almost 8 years and 5,000 miles away, one guy caused a tiff between one of my best friends and me, a few guys turned out to be jerks (go figure), i have experienced the disgusting burp in the mouth and have been farted on by the same guy, almost dated a guy who was short, not funny, and boring.
yes, at this point i would say my luck in love is really not that great.
HOWEVER,
tonight was just icing on the cake.
i went out on a date with a guy who i had just met a couple weeks ago...didn't know how old he was when i agreed to go on the date. got to dinner and asked him his age. let's just say that he's more than 8 years older than me.
SOLID.

love, please kick me in the ass some more.

:)

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mood

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satisfied

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this morning i woke up to my brother blasting "snow hey oh" by the red hot chili peppers. that song is so great. i enjoyed waking up to it.

So tonight i went to the annual tadros christmas party.
it was much better this year than it had been in years past.
for the most part it was pretty much the same as always
but i felt a bit more comfortable this year.
and while i was sitting at a table with my mom and dad, a family friend came over to talk to us.
eventually, we got on the subject of heather having a boyfriend.
and sure, i hear it all the time.
but it's one thing when all my friends and everyone that knows me says it...its a completely different thing when a mom with an older daughter that has had plenty of experiences with boys says it.
i don't know, it was pretty eye-opening.
and completely true.
and right about now, i'm feeling pretty good :)


so i was lookin at my friend's myspace, and she has the most amazing boyfriend ever who knows all of the right things to say. he's always leaving her the cutest comments, and here is an example of what he says and how lucky she is:
"Whenever you want to know how I am, I'm doing fantastic. Whenever you want to know what's in my head, I'm thinking of you. Whenever you want to know how I'm feeling, I love you.
Remember that these next couple of weeks, I'll see you in my dreams."



i can't wait to find that perfect guy who knows all the right things to say and loves me for me :)
but until i find him, i'll just have to be patient.
and patience is a virtue.



i have to go back to school in 13 days now.
i've been home for a week, working all week.
i have one more week of work.
and one week to have a real break.
then back to my studies.
wow.
time will fly WAY too fast.
i love being home and not worrying about anything :)
i love my life :)

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mood

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okay

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so definitely checked my email tuesday morning and got a lovely message from someone at UCLA telling me that my identity has been hacked from their computers. THATS COOL. NOTTTT.
I don't even go to UCLA and my identity was hacked. wow. so i saw this that somebody wrote on facebook and thought it was funny and true:
"I like how the email starts off 'dear friend'
You're not my friend, first you didn't let me in, then you let my identity get stolen, then you claim responsibility but do nothing to actually help me, how about paying the credit services to protect my identity?"

so then all day yesterday i was pretty much unproductive.
i made a sheet of formulas and stuff for my math final.
i had my math final from 4-7.
it took me two and a half hours to finish the final.
it was 9 questions.
worth 42 points, perfect score being 38.
i definitely didn't even know how to begin at least 4 of the 9 problems.
in the middle of the test i almost cried.
because there is NO way that i can live with myself if i fail math. really.
DEFINITELY bombed that shit.
i am sooooo scared.
i wish i could have studied more.
but i hate math and its impossible for me to study.
i studied all my brain could handle-ish.
i don't know.
all i know is that i am PRAYING for a C on that final.
PLEASE LET ME PASS THE CLASS.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

i dont know why i've been waking up so early lately.
its my opportunity to sleep in for three weeks.
and i woke up at 10 yesterday
and today i woke up at 9:30, what is up with THAT!?!

anywayyyyy breen and i went to get lunch at carillo today.
and had the BEST lunch here, EVER.
it was pretty much amazing.
we made our own turkey sandwiches.
and YUM!!! :)))


so then i got back to my room and went on the comp.
got an email from nemanja.
he's home now, but very sick :(
so then i called him just to see how he's doin.
ehhhhhhhhhhhhh
I WANT A BOYFRIEND.
i want someone to love me, please?


so i have a list of things to do before i go home.
i go home in two days! yayyyy!!! saturdayyy!!
i better get goin on that list...


my dinner is gone.
i'll just have to wait until i can have dinner.
and wait, and wait, and wait.
or maybe i can find a new dinner somewhere else.
somehow?

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mood

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pensive

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On Thursday I left Santa Barbara to go to Newark, New Jersey.
Why?
Because last Saturday I got the surprise phone call of a lifetime.
I get a call from Nemanja's brother's phone early in the morning.
I was sleeping, so I didn't hear it. So I called back later, and no answer.
Then later, my phone rings again. I pick it up thinking it is Uros.
AND to my surprise, Nemanja was on the phone.
He was like, 'do you know who this is?'
And i said, 'uros?'
and then he was like, 'close enough, baby!'
and i screamed, 'NEMANJA!?!?!'
and yes, it was him.

So Nemanja said that he came to New Jersey to visit for his birthday.
Then he was saying that he was in New York and that I should go out to see him.
And immediately, my heart was pumping and I wanted to go SO bad.
I came home and looked up plane tickets and prices.
Last Sunday I told my parents about it and asked if they would let me go.
AND TO MY SURPRISE, they let me go.
So last Sunday night i booked my plane ticket out to New Jersey.
everyday last week Nemanja and I talked on the phone, so excited about the trip.
then, thursday came around and it was time for me to go.

My plane left Santa Barbara at 1:23pm, then I arrived in Salt Lake City and saw snow on the ground :)))
My plane was supposed to leave from Salt Lake at 5:25pm, but we ended up leaving really late.
I was supposed to arrive in New Jersey at 11:41pm, and I arrived at 12:35am.
I got off the plane and called Breanna to let her know I got in safely.
As I was on the phone with her walking out to meet Nemanja and Uros, I saw them.
I hung up the phone and gave Nemanja a HUGE hug and I met his brother.
Since they are twins, they look alike, but at the same time they look different, so I could immediately tell the difference between the two.

Nemanja took my bag so I didnt have to carry it and offered to take my backpack, too.
But the backpack wasn't a problem for me, and it was nice of him to take my other bag.
While we were walking around the airport I got a phone call from my mom and I talked to her for a bit.
Then Nemanja talked to her for a bit, as well.
We walked out to the car and it was freezing outside.
Then we hopped in Uros' car, which is a volvo station wagon that is older than my volvo, and even older than me.
They said that the plane schedule said that my plane would arrive at 11:18pm, so they got to the airport at 11:15pm after hauling major ass to get there. And then my plane didn't get there until 12:35pm, so they had to pay $9 for parking for being there so long, which sucks.
On the way back to Uros' house, we were all talking and stuff and Uros and I were quoting Borat. hah
Then we got to Uros' house and then we all went to bed.

We woke up around 9:30am to get ready to go to New York.
After we got ready we went to a store down the street to get breakfast.
Then we called Uros' roommate Marty so that he could give us a ride to the bus stop.
Marty dropped us off at the bus stop, where we had to wait for about 5-10 minutes
While waiting for the bus, it was REALLY cold and REALLY windy outside.
When the bus came we were really excited to be in the warmth again.
While riding the bus we were enjoying each other's company, and the heat.
Then Nemanja pointed out Manhattan in the distance, and I started freaking out.
It was SOOOO exciting for me!
Finally we got to the bus station in New York.
Nemanja bought a map so that we could find our way around.

We walked outside of the bus station and immediately went to a store and Nemanja bought me a pink beanie that said new york on it, and these little black gloves since it was so cold outside.
Then we walked to Times Square.
Once we got to Times Square we took some pictures :)
Then we kept walking around the city, and then I saw Parsons The New School For Design, which is from Project Runway and I started freakin out. It was really cool. And of course, I took pictures again.
Then we walked to the Empire State Building and went inside, but we didn't go up to the top because there was a 45-60 minute wait and it was $16 per person to go to the top, and it just didn't seem worth it to waste so much time when we could go other places.
Then we kept walking and then went into Macy*s, the world's biggest store.
We would randomly go into stores to get warm since it was so cold outside.
We saw the New York Public Library, and walked in the door then walked out because we didn't want to waste time.
Then we went to Rockefeller Center and saw the big Christmas tree and the skating rink.
So we proceeded to walk to Central Park.
Central Park is HUGE.
I never thought it would be so big, but it was.
After walking around Central Park we went to Starbucks and got lunch.
I got a gingerbreak latte and a turkey sandwich, and Nemanja got a ciabatta melt thing and hot chocolate. Then we got two bottles of water.
After lunch, we took the subway to go see the World Trade Center area.
It was a nice ride on the subway together.
We got off the subway and we saw the Brooklyn Bridge
Then we saw the World Trade Center memorial
We went to this store called Century 21 and spent some time there
Then we took the path train station to get back to Newark at around 5:30.

Once at the Newark train station, we waited in McDonalds for Uros to come pick us up.
After Uros picked us up we went back to his house.
On the way back, Uros' friend called and invited him to go to a party in Brooklyn
He said that he was on his way back home from picking up Nemanja and Nemanja's "uh friend" from the train station
Then the guy said to bring all of us
But Uros said that I wasn't legit.
I wasn't 21 yet. Or 20. Or even 19 for that matter.
Then the guy asked if I was hot.
And Uros said, "yeah she's hot. of course she's hot."
So then we went to pick up dinner.
We ate dinner while watching 2 episodes of That 70's Show
After dinner we all took a nap at around 7
Then we woke up around 9:30
Marty's girlfriend came over
So we all were talking and stuff for a while
We watched lucky number slevin until 12:30am
Then we went to bed at 12:45am


We woke up Saturday morning at about 9:30am
Then I went to take a shower and get ready for the day
After my shower I packed all of my clothes and everything
While I was sitting on the bed waiting for Nemanja to finish getting ready, he sprayed his cologne on my back
He smells SOOOOO good!
Then we went to get brunch and after we ate we went to the mall
we spent like 3-4 hours at the mall
Nemanja spent like an hour at the nautica store
I think his brother and I weren't really having that much fun
It was kind of awkward shopping with Nemanja and his brother because there were three of us, so it was either Uros or I who had to be the third wheel.
When Nemanja and I would hold hands and walk together or whatever, Uros would be third wheel.
But then when Nemanja and Uros would walk together, I would be third wheel.
Either way, it was really nice just being with Nemanja still.
I had to savor every second with him because I had to catch a plane at 5:10pm
So we decided to leave the mall at 3:30 because it was right by the airport and I would make it there on time
We ended up leaving the mall at 3:45 but i was okay with it because the aiport was like 5 minutes away
So Uros ended up taking the wrong exit, which led to this turnpike that took us in the complete opposite direction of the airport.
It was a toll road so we had to wait in lines to pay the toll for the road then take a different route to get to the airport, which took a LONG time
As much as it sucked that we were further away from the airport, I was pretty happy because I was still with Nemanja
So finally I got to the airport at like 4:20
I said bye to Uros and thanked him for everything and he was like 'it was nice meeting you, youre a good girl' haha
Nemanja walked in the airport with me and took my bag and we stood by the security checkpoint for a while saying bye and stuff
Nemanja was saying that the distance just makes everything better.
because this trip was so great.
and next time when we see each other again, it's going to be awesome!
and hopefully that will be in serbia :)


The whole time I was in New York I was just all smiles and everything.
I was just so happy to be in such a great city with Nemanja.
It was amazing to be with him again.
I don't think I've been that genuinely happy in a while.
I can still smell his cologne on the back of my jacket.
Everytime I smell it, I am happy :)
I miss him.


He called me at like 4:30 yesterday :)
It made me SO excited when he called.
made my day.
definitely.
haha and when we were talking he was saying that this little trip was a preview of what it would be like next time we see each other lol :)

but the downside is that I really don't know when I'll see him again.
And what if next time I see him he'll have a girlfriend?
I don't know.
the world is full of uncertainties.
everything happens for a reason.

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mood

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excited

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okay, so that yes/no poll that i had going,
it was about going to new york.

and i am going to go to new york!

i leave on thursday :))))))


never been to new york before,
but i am SOOOOOOOOOO excited!

i can't believe my parents are actually letting me go!
this is amazing!!!!!!!


I LOVE MY LIFE!