Praying for myself
These thoughts I try to hide
I have faith in me and hope this will survive
But it's tearing me apart
I can't hear the words by which I guide
So I must ask again, who will carry me

I can not deny that nothing can defend
From the helplesness that's cutting deep inside
And I can't prevent the thought that nothing's real
Seems I've waited years for this day to end

The strength I need to feel, the pride inside of me
Are not there behind the face staring back at me
The anger and the pain of knowing where I am
I have come so far and I cannot return

Nothing I can do that I have not done
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see
So must I let this end, and everything falls apart
Before I live my life as I have always done

Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see
So nothing falls apart. So this does not end
I cannot return. I can't start again

Nothing to deny, nothing to defend
From the helplessness, it's cutting me so deep inside
And I can't prevent the thought that's nothing's real
It seems I'm waiting years for this day to end

Praying for myself
These thoughts I try to hide
I have faith in me and hope this will survive
But it's tearing me apart
I can't hear the words by which I guide
So I must ask again, who will carry me

Nothing I can do that I have not done
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see
So must I let this end, and everything falls apart
Before I live my life as I have always done

Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see
So nothing falls apart. So this does not end
I cannot return. I can't start again

tags: giving up

ugh ... SO much to share... tmw... yes tmw :)

YAY ! I DON'T NEED RADIATION !!!!!!!!!!!!

 does anybody know anything?why is anything anything?

Me and Louie.

mood: tired tags: cats

 You guys really need to update more! I'm cereal!!!!!!!!!!

 Hi all,  sorry for the no updates and shit. not much has been happening that's worth writing about.

BUT NOW! Well, there still isn't much to write about. I work all the time and have been sick , for what it seems like, the past month. Finally getting rid of this sick ass annoying cough. Me an Jamie broke up the other day. Thank Goddard. It just was not working out and my feelings were going the opposite way in which they are supposed to when a relationship is progressing. No hard feelings. I am obsessed with how cute Chelsea Handler is. I love saying "SHADOOBIE" instead of shit - that I lifted from " Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea." 

Christmas is coming and i hate it. I mean I LOVE my family but the fakeness kills me! The mindless shopping is even more disgusting. I wish I was Jewish. I am such a fan of yiddish too. I am excited to hang out with my whole family at once though. They are so funny! In other meaningless dribble, I can't stand that phone commercial with Joanna Newsom's song. It makes me want to shove a candy cane in each ear. 

I've been so tired lately, I def need a red bull or 5 minute abz before work. I wanna go out Next weekend. Who's coming?! Anyone? Hello?

mood: happy tags: jew envy, lethargy

 I <3 SEX BOB OMB!!!! Yes I JUST saw Scott Pilgrim VS. The world. It was great!!