As I'm sure everyone is happy to know, my cold's not as bad as it was before! Ha ha, take that spontaneous recessions!

[he rubs his nose, and he does look noticeably better than before, but still not completely well; perhaps it has something to do with the fact that it's still winter]

SO. Your hero has returned and welcomes all of you into the new year! And since all the technology's working, I thereby declare that it is not the year 2000 but some other year!

[and there's that chest-puffing of self-glory until he slumps, remembering something with a grumpy tinge of red on his face]

Uh. Hey, England. I got you a present, so if you want it come get it. Yeah.

Alright, hero signing off!

[and the transmission ends]

[[ooc: America got Canada a thing of maple syrup that SAID 'real maple syrup,' so hopefully it is; and Romano, you got a bag of tomatoes. Yaay food presents. Oh right, Iggy, he got you a French cookbook and an eyebrow comb as gag gifts, both settled on top of cheap tea, the real gift.]]

[since America's working a minimum wage job, mooching off his brother and eating everything in sight, he's totally been suffering from an "economic depression," aka a cold for the past month. Yeah. That's the story and I'm sticking to it. And he's, uh, still got it. A little bit.]

[insert sniffling here] God...dammit, stupid--ACHOO!!--cold? Yeah, cold...gyugh.

'Ey, brother-whatever-your-name-is, I'm hun--[BIG SNEEZE] guh, this sucks... I'm hungry! It hurts to yell at you to do it, y'know, burgers would be awesome, but I'll take pancakes.

[he whines, blows his nose (it's an awfully disgusting sound) and groans] Oh yeah, city! What's the cure for the cold? Kinda need it...I'm the hero, after--ACHOO! after all!

[and after another big sneeze he shuts off the transmission]

[[ooc: he's very contagious, be warned~]]

[it starts off with some mumbling, clicking and experimental typing, he's humming "The Star-Spangled Banner" while he fiddles with the laptop, then he "ah ha!"s triumphantly]

Figured it out! Knew I could, ha ha ha!

[he clears his throat, pops his knuckles unnecessarily, and is probably leaning in much too close to the computer for the microphone to handle]

ALRIGHT, CITIZENS OF WHEREVER-WE-ARE!! THERE IS A CRISIS, AND IT INVOLVES YOUR COMPUTERS!!

For those of you who are not informed, Y2K is upon us! The computers will crash, all the technology will die and then we'll have to start all over!

BUT NOT TO FRET. I am AMERICA, the HERO, so there is absolutely nothing to worry about!

...Except for the computers dying and technology failing. But--oh hey! Are there any New Years parties going around? I was invited to one last minute but I don't see any around here.

[ooc: ...I'm sorry he's stupid ♥ he's from December 31, 1999, on the brink of the year 2000, aka Y2K. And who's paranoid? Your country tis of thee, sweet land of stupidity liberty. Of thee you will sing.]]