Here There Be Wargs

This LJ is mainly for plotbunnies and occasional personal rants, including Random IMRP rants of Death, Sues, and why Rincewind kicks butt compared to Carrot. With a Thousande Elephantf!!

General Disclaimer: I am Tolkien's dog. I showed up one day and refused to leave his books alone. I own nothing. Sue me, and you will get nothing but some old 'Sues I wrote back in grade school.

Fics: The reason you're here, right? I've got 3 little stand alone pieces: a Discworld fic that's Uber-random, a Harry Potter Christmas piece with all the fluffy angst of a poorly knit lime-green sweater, and a short poem dedicated to my fellow insane people.
The rest can be read on their own without way too many spoilers, but they combine to make up an AU timeline. The basic order is "The Choices of Tar-Miriel," "All You Need Is a Catchphrase," "Agh Gaasu-isshi," and then "Wargs to Live By." They occupy different settings and different times, but it all comes together in "Wargs."
"Valier," "Apples," "Now for Life" and the adventures of Orla are semi-canonical pieces that can also fit in with this timeline, but never (yet) truly intersect with it. There's also a piece written as a coda to the Wargish AU, called "When in Gondor." I haven't given up on "Wargs to Live By," but it's helping me plan. It does contain spoilers, though, I must warn you. Oh, yeah, there's also a G&L friendship piece that can fit the AU or canon. I've also started writing a metric buttload of Denethor/Finduilas fic. Guess my LotR OTP.
Plus there are random little ficlets scattered about my LJ. And Mind in the Ankh? Pay no attention to the Denethor & Havelock fan behind the curtain... There's no relation, at least in terms of canons. WargishBoromirFan's for serious fic, Mind's for anti-Sue ficlets and conspiracy theories.

And also, further reasons to venture out into the realm of fanfic (aka, the brave person willing to trust her stories to my humble, clumsy paws for editing): BoromirDefender aka shieldmaidenjen is linked on my favorite stories, but the one I beta most often for is her Sue parody, "Gimli and Boromir Strike Back." I like that better than my own stories, but that doesn't convey how good it is. Read it. You'll laugh, whether you love 'em or hate 'em. Heck, maybe we might even get a Boromir convert or two.

Bio: It's really rather boring. Wouldn't you rather be checking out the much better authors on my links? Right. Figured you would. For the two people left reading this, (Hi, Mom!) I am a slow, crazy bugger, nuts about Discworld and the Belgariad as well as LotR. Prod me enough and I start to enjoy the editorial corrections. Every good Warg needs a beta, after all.

Name:


When it comes to the Jihad, call me Sister Broadsword of Moderation.

Aliases: Warg, Wargish Boromir Fan, Boromir II's Warg Mistress, B2WM, Cher, Critty (Don't ask. I don't know.)

Age: Somewhere between 14 and 44.

Fur: Reddish blonde, explaining both my stupidity and tendency to go off passionately on random (and often stupid) tangents. Like Boromir. (Cool, although this subject causes my inner fangirl to rear her ugly head.) And Tar-Miriel. (A little geeky, but cool.) And the fact that Viggo Mortesten could be standing on his head, gargling saltwater, and reciting the Magna Carta backwards in heavy blizzard gear with a hick accent and he'd still sound amazingly, nay, frighteningly, sexy. (Just wierd and random. Just Warg.)

Muses and patron beta gods: Bormire the mini Balrog, who eats plotbunnies when not properly fed with constructive crit and flames, and Eliu, the very wierd little mini Warg, spawned from Estel and too many college applications. I also am getting lucky enough to add a human beta into the pantheon, (Lord Valentai rocks! Check his fics under my favorite authors!) but it never hurts for me to get a third or fifth opinion, so if you are feeling up to the task, email me, or just drop an occasional review. After joining LiveJournal & Deleterius, I've found a very nice enviroment for budding canon nazis and full-blown grammar nuts. There is serious Sue-bashing, so don't say I didn't warn you. I recently joined the LJ community ICanDoBetter, as well, which offers new plotbunnies every week. Hopefully, we can expect lots of LotR/HP viginettes inspired by them.

Carcharoth loves his Silmaril treats.




Random Quotes: "You'll forgive me, Your Excellency, if I suggest you couldn't inspire loyalty in a drugged bantha." - Tierce in "Star Wars: Specter of the Past." Honesty really is the best policy, as long as you put it nicely, or at least humorously.

"When you look at life up close, it's a tragedy. But if you look from a distance, it's a comedy." - Paraphrased from Charlie Chaplin. Hmm, I write humor and angst stories. What does that tell about my perspective? Yep, it's flawed. Seriously flawed.

"It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people." - Terry Prachett, "Good Omens." Yes, I know I've got 2 Prachett quotes up here, but it's these ideas that lie behind my writing.

"I tole 'em, buggerit. Can't trust them prawns." - Foul Ole Ron, my second favorite denizen of the Disc, after Gaspode himself. World could use more stories about them, and Gimli as well. And let's not forget the Great Eddings, either.

"You smell, father." "No, Pol, I stink. You smell." Polgara & Belgarath in the Belgariad. Best fantasy quote of all time, as far as I'm concerned.

Supporting ORCS BE PEOPLE- Other Romantic Characters' Stories Besides Ein Pointy-Eared Old Poncy Legolas-Elf. Not that I don't like the character, but one oughta give the other guys some love too.

For instance:

Boromir is Love

Denethor is (insane, messed up, and rather scary) Love

Aragorn is Love (that really needs to bathe more often)

Aragorn Loves Sharp Pointy Things

Also, a few of my LOTR stories contain "Wargish," a language based off of dyslexic German and a kid on a near constant sugar-high, with a bit of Tolkien thrown into the mix. Translations come in story as well, but for a total list, I'll throw you a link, too: Because this profile is too damn long.