[

mood

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eyelids...closing...

]

ive seriously been pissed at all my people since tuesday. maybe its hormonal or some shit. i cant help that people are dicks. i got blown off on wednesday and its not like i could go chill with other people for you see, they were at the dirtbombs show(which i wanted to go to desperately but couldnt) and i was still pissy with those other folks. like, we're sitting in art and i say something then somebody is really shitty for no good reason....piss me off. ive managed to avoid them this week. then master asshole called today to tell how kick ass the dirtbombs show was and he proceeded to be a cunt the way he is. i think my negative karma is coming back to kick my ass. whatever, everyones entitled to a little self righteousness occasionally. i gotta stay chill.

harleygirlsd

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mood

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thoughtful

]

What do men want, really? Is this one really THAT unique? Why is he so hell-bent on "reinventing" me?

Why is he a hypocrite? He claims that he was attracted to me in the first place by my "independence" and "free spirit"... the SAME "free spirit" that he's trying to CENSOR and SUBJUGATE now. Perhaps he was attracted to the thrill of the battle? The fight? Who can say?

I don't understand.

I don't really CARE to.

How dare you tell me what to think/not think? How to feel? Fuck you.

But I can tell you this... I'm down for a good battle. You may win the occasional battle, but you're NOT going to win the WAR!

kanikyniki

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mood

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accomplished

]

All right so, for girls, there's 2 types of bitches: the bitchy bitch that is just completely rude and stupid about life, and then there's the asshole bitch, which I am. I do things that are funny to me but could potentionally hurt a stupid person's feelings. In other words, ordinary life isn't enough to keep me interested, so I have to have fun at other's expense. This is me.

stolensoul

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mood

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cranky

]

The important people in my life dont want me to get the tattoos or piercings that i have wanted since i can remeber. Should i take their wants into consideration and deny myself or visa versa? i will most likely get them no matter what.. HELL! I WILL GET THEM NO MATTER WHAT. i just want an opinion other than mine or theirs, SO what do you think?

maytricks

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mood

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infuriated

]

Do you have any fucking clue what you want? Don't tell me what you don't want, tell me what you do. Have you ever heard of c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-i-o-n? I know it's a toughie, but it might be something useful for you to develop. You know...SO YOU DON'T GO ABOUT FUCKING UP OTHER PEOPLE!!!

Then you turn around and blame me for being a sham - an illusion? You are the one who didn't live up to their word - no, no...went totally against their own word, not I. Oh right, you told me you we're a liar, like that means it doesn't count then? You would like to think that, wouldn't you? Everyone lies a bit, lying blatantly to my face about your intentions in my love life, sex life and spiritual life is just like raping me...especially spiritually. It feels so deliberate, like you wanted to destroy me. You talk of love, yet you do everything in such a vile manner, with your lies and fuck-you attitude, how can I open myself to what you are suggesting? You have made me hate what I am and wanted to become because you thrust it upon me so fast and visciously...no respect for me, my limits at this time, our bond, the magick we shared, the sanctuary we were building together that you now have torn to bits. All you had respect for was you...and even then...

I shouldn't have even tried to recover this. You wouldn't even help. You just expected for me to trust you again, immediately. No, you can't do that...and NO, using my profession as a justification for your assumptions is NOT COOL. It is simply manipulative. I explained to you before binding what I want from a relationship, you agreed to it. It only took you a week or so for you to fuck it up, to break all your promises to me in one shot. I wasn't unreasonable, I am not...you could have discussed it with me first at the very least...but no, you had to do things in the most hurtful and disrespectful way possible.

You are just mean-spirited and manipulative. Fuck that shit. I don't need to be tossed your fucking bullshit and expected to deal with it alone. I don't care if you are my "soulmate" or not. You are still a lousy spineless maggot, who has the self-awareness of slinky toy.

You didn't even give me a chance, remember?...the chance you asked me for? Yeah well, I was tossed even before you got here.

Okay, I got it now...leave the burning building.

twosugars

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mood

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drained

]

I have this online friend who gets a lot of shit about being so-called "Gothic" and it would really get up my nerves if it were me. She admits to wearing black, because she says it suits her mood, seeing as usually she is depressed and broken hearted.
I have no problem with any of this. Just once a while ago, a few months probably I was asking her about her screen names for this chat room we sometimes go to, and I was asking her about her first screen name for it. The screen name had gothic in it, like gothicgirl or something. I don't know if she remembers this, and she told me not to tell anyone. It just really pissed me off she acts all indignant after labelling herself, complete hypocrisy.
I've been brushing her off a bit the past couple of days, I just can't deal with that kind of shit. I feel like an asshole, since she's going through all this stuff and needs me I guess.
Even more than everything else I hate the fact that I am a fucking coward and can't just tell her what I really think.

lirianna

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mood

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pissed off

]

(Posted here because I can't post it in my own LJ)

I have decided that I am spending this entire weekend without friends, without one friend in particular, the friend of my heart, of my soul... the one who has disappointed me, angered me, hurt me. The one who has hurt her husband and her friends and herself. All for the sake of... what?... for her own self-esteem?...

Jesus Christ... at what cost? Tear her home apart, tear her kids away from the dad they have known for 7 years (they are 11 and 9), tear the friendships apart because of all the dishonesty... then when it comes down to it, after she has told her husband that she doesn't love him anymore, doesn't find him attractive, thinks she is in love with someone else... after she is forced to admit to him that she fucked another man she changes her tune and becomes all sad and weepy and wants to stay with him, clings to him like a child and begs him "Don't go"???

Then when her best friend finds out that she lied about a completely different guy, that she said that he tried to force himself on her and that he's an asshole, when in reality she fucked him, too, and the best friend, thinking that this guy offended her best friend, treats him rudely when she sees him next, dismisses him like so much trash, and then, because of a random email, her best friend (me) finds out that she lied AGAIN, is angry, wants to confront her with it, and she makes it happen in front of the husband and sneers and tries to push it off on her best friend, that she is a bitch and how does she know it is the truth, what if SHE is telling the truth?... and her husband is regurgitating the same drivel because that is what she is feeding him...

And after ugliness and hatefulness she admits it and "feels like shit" about it... and realizes that she brought this all on herself... and that it's possible that no one will ever trust her again.. and that she has made her own bed, that everything that has happened was because of HER choices in all of this... and if her husband can forgive her and take her back then surely I can, too...

I am just... what the fuck? The last six years of my life, of my friendship with this person, has been one-sided, has been a way for her to revel in my failings, to throw that little, condescending half-smile my way and jump in to save me, to rescue me, to help me out of whatever my current predicament is... my savior... trying to be what to me?... better than me?... feed her self-righteousness by keeping herself in a role of "nothing is ever wrong with me, here let me help you, you poor thing"... what a load of complete and absolute horseshit.

You know... fucking is one thing, it's just physical.
Lying is something else entirely.
Being falsely smug about play-acted self-worth is something else entirely.
Not knowing how to actually BE a best friend is something else entirely.

And what gets me about this whole thing... we have mutual friends. They are my group of friends. I can't talk about this without causing more strife, without breaking the circle... without being viewed as asking people to pick sides. As if there were any fucking side to this. I don't give a rat's ass who decides who is right. I am very confident in my position on it and I don't care who agrees or who doesn't.

I am... pissed off. I have been duped. This person portrayed herself to me as this great, wonderful, amazing person and here she is a lying, cheating whore... and not only to her husband (that is common enough, relationships never seem to last forever) but to ME, her best friend... well, the person who *thought* she was her best friend, anyway. Apparently, this person doesn't deserve to have a best friend, doesn't even deserve the husband that still wants her after she has fucked at least THREE guys since she was with him (the first that is public and is known about was right up to and probably following her marriage to him - that's another story unto itself - her best friends at the time were shunned and made into liars because of she couldn't admit to it).

What the fuck do I do now?
Where do I go from here?
Am I an awful person because I am having a hard time even being around her?

God, I feel as if I am going insane.

kizen

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mood

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bitchy

]

I hate when people try and deceive me.
I'm a big girl and I can more than handle the truth.
In my opinion, liars are nothing more than immature imbeciles who lack the testicular fortitude to live up to the shit that spews forth from their venomous lips.
Me, bitter? You bet.
If you don't have the balls to be a real man stay the fuck away from me.
Got it?
Good.