Dear Blog,

It's not you, it's me. To be honest I lost interest some year or two ago. I have found a new love. Pintrest let's me stalk and steal others ideas without feeling any guilt. TO me it's a visual stimulating heaven to the cluttered, unorganized soul, like me.

I'll be back from time to time.....but for now, we need a break. Don't cry, it won't make it any better, or make me want to stay anymore.

Love,

Bex

I don't know what to write, and I don't know what to do, when the world seemingly comes crashing down around you. As I have maneuvered my way through this hellacious month, it seems that others close to me worlds are falling apart. I'm a fixer, and for once feel absolutely helpless and powerless to try to fix anything. Things I would have never imagined in a million years are happening right in front of me, and all I can do is watch and wait. It's a sickening feeling really, to watch lives fall apart and know that it's not my place to help rebuild or put back together. I can give love and can give support, but I don't want to watch it. Such is life I guess.

Just wanted to post it, because I needed to get some feelings out.

I Heart Nursing

More importantly I heart days when I can actually impress my instructor. You know days where you think you make them realize: "Heck yes, maybe I actually am teaching someone something". Those are good days.
I have a self-confession to make. I am suffering from burn out. I have no desire to study for any of my tests, or do anything nursing related. I would love more than anything just to crawl back under the covers and sleep. Just sweet, blissful, uninterrupted sleep. Along with the burnout, my temper and tolerance has been short. I used to have a large tolerance for stupid people, but now I find myself walking away from conversations 2 sentences in, for fear of punching someone. Please, people...let the stupidity end. Nursing school is great, but I find some of my classmates grating, and I spend most of my classroom time wondering how a few even made it this far, when I should clearly be paying attention to the lectures. I know this is wrong, but I can't help it. I'm ready for summer to come so I can have a break from my class.
With this little confession out there, you have no idea how much I needed my little self-esteem boost the other day. I was selected, by the director of my program, as an Emerging Scholar. Wait, you don't know what that is? Neither did I, until I attended the little award banquet. I guess directors/professors from different departments nominate who they think shows excellence and potential in their field. I was shocked to say the least. I'm no all A student, and I'm perfectly happy with my B's and A's that I do get. I figure it means I'm doing a great job handling school and family life. I work hard, and do the best I can. I kinda felt that there were people who do way better then me, and why me? I still don't really know. But it sure did mean a lot to me, and is helping me make it through these last 3 weeks of the semester.

Nothing New To Report

That's it. I got nuthin'.

OH MAH STINKIN' HECK

And breath out.....now big breath in....I GOT IT!!! I never in a bazillion kajillion years thought I would, but I managed to pull a small miracle off somewhere in my uneventful interview. Must have been the parallel parking joke (thanks Carrie)!! I received a phone call this morning offering me a nurse extern position in the MSICU (Medical Surgical Intensive Care Unit). May 16 is my start date and I finish up Mid-July. I am so excited!! It's a teaching hospital and I get to see all sorts of cool things from transplant patients, to oncology patients, to GSW (that's nurse speak for Gun Shot Wounds), to crazy multi-disease processes. I get to learn to be a for real nurse and not just a nursing student follow my primary nurse around like a lost puppy nurse. OK well I'll still probably follow my preceptor around like a lost puppy, but I can start IVs, and catheters, and all sorts of cool procedures. You can picture me doing a happy dance right here. Poor Jay, i woke him up to tell him about it by jumping on the bed.
*side note...tempurpedics do not make for good joyful jumping on the bed moments...but I still recommend one for sleep, not jumping. If you like to jump on beds like I do please remove yourself to your children's room and commence jumping on their bed...only if it's a full-king size and is on a sturdy frame.

Thanks for all the prayers and good vibes. I haven't posted anything about it Facebook wise because I know a few of my classmates had applied and I'm sure some of them didn't get a call, although it would be great if they did!

The Results

Well folks, I had my interview..............AND............MEH. I can't even tell you how it went, because I'm not sure how it went. HA! I won't find out until the end of the month, either way, so I'm holding my breath until then.

TSNA 2011

I spent 3 days representing my school in Galveston at the 63rd annual Texas Student Nurses Association convention, along with 8 other fabulous women. I had a blast, dispite having no idea what the heck "Robert's Rules" for parlimentary proceedures were. It was pretty neat to see and hear others opinions. I think it's something every student nurse should experience. The 2nd day was spent schmoozing with recruiters from different hospitals from all over Texas. It was fun to be the one who was interviewing them about why I should choose thier hospital, and not the other way around. I roomed with my very good friend Chris (Hi Sarah!! Please keep your mom away from any curtains), and don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life...although it could have been the combination of lack of sleep and stress that finally imploded into a giggle extravaganza.

Our Friday lunch was spent at the Sea Wall playing at the beach and then hit "The Spot" for lunch. It was fun just being at the ocean and spend time in the surf and sun. People took some great pictures and I will post more soon. I have so many funny storied, but I don't think that anyone would find them funny unless they were there. BUT I do seem to be a Grandpa magent. Seriously, I went 3/3 in old men waving or trying to pick me up. One guy asked his drinking buddy to yell at me as I was leaving "Hey my friend thinks you're from Hollywood! Well are you!!??". Yes, I am a famous actress that is sitting in the crappiest resta
urant dive I could find, with the worst seafood EVAH, and rode the hotel bus there and back. Might have had something to do with the large amount of alcohol he had consumed prior to entering the establishment.

We were there for Mardi Gras Weekend, but weren't allowed to partake of the festivities, because of school code. Oh well, there's always next year.