Monkeys are special.

I had a dream that I had a monkey penis and I stuck it in someone's butt and my peehole starting stinging so I pulled it out and it had two long and skinny worms attached to it. I threw the worms down and stepped on them but then I remembered that some worms grow into new worms if they're cut in half. So I grabbed a lighter and burned them but caught the carpet on fire.

Damn.

:-O It was my birthday Tuesday and Aubrey got me some diamond earrings to match my wedding set. He says that he likes me to look "sparkly". :-O Today is my mom's birthday! I'm going to call her.

On our way to the mall Aubrey beat this dude in a Mustang with his Suzuki. Dude in the Mustang even had a head start. Then the dude in the Mustang turned into a dude in an Explorer and he was shouting something at us in what we thought was Italian, we're not sure. It confused the hell out of us. I think he was also throwing up gang signs.

The apartment took me like 6 hours to clean cause we had shit from Christmas that I had to find a place for. Some shit is going to the salvation army. Aubrey has so many clothes, we're going to have to replace the closet rod AGAIN. His mom works at Parisian's.

Aubrey was going to buy me a dress for my birthday but all they had was CRAP and I let everyone in that store know. We ran into Choya and he said that he and his lady friend were engaged. I told him that I forget that I'm married sometimes (that's a good thing).

Make your own cartoon!

Relations with uh...

(My Cartoon)

At the end of the movie, you can make your own, too! Here's Diana's Cartoon. Her's is much funnier than mine :-| :P

Skeezer.

Yep. THAT's what I think about my damn history exam tomorrow. I'm just going to have to bullshit through it because I don't know SHIT about no god damn Byzantine Empire or no god damn Pelopppppenennnnsian War (there were 3 phases BTW) however the fuck you spell it... all I know is some shit about Hitler and Rasputin because that's all I remember from god damn history 102. But this isn't 102, this is 101... like I'm pose to memorize from 2500 B.C. to some god damn 1550 A.D. Fuck that shit. Yeah, Martin Luther was one kick ass dude, but I'm not going to go god damn gaga over it. My shit is Literature. That's right... mostly shit that's made up that represents shit that's not made up. Do you think that barf was made up? Yes, it's all into your god damn imagination. So, there. I stated my point.

So? How would you feel if you were told you masturbate, but instead had to learn everything there is to know about Ahmad al Ya'qubi? Yeah, that's what I mean. Fuck that shit. I'll stick to shit I'm interested in. Yeah, I know history has to do with humanities, but fuck memorizing everything about some god damn Emperor Justinian. And what the fuck is the Treaty of Verdum? Who fucking gives a shit?

Capetian Dynasty, Dominic de Guzman, Desiderius Erasmus? I mean GOD! I spend a really long time putting together a fucking research paper about the Ka'bah and I get a god damn 80 on it. That's not the point, but HOW IN THE FUCK am I suppose to find time to study the chronological order of EVERYTHING history before the year 1550? Plus, the class that kick's fuckin ass to me right now is American Literature. I spent 1 1/2 days on my last essay. Where in the hell am I gonna find time to study 5000000 0 0 00 0 00 ,0000000 years worth of history? Let me just pull it out of my ass. I bet it would come out as easily as that barf came out of whoeverthefuck's stomach.

Eh... I'll just stop entertaining myself and go to bed. I'm going to go to that exam tomorrow, and write down everything I can, but SHIT... I mean! GOD DAMN!

I painted something for Heather today :">. I hope she likes it. Yep, that's what I did with my studying time. What would you do? I'd fuck off if I were you. Fuck it. Aubrey's asleep on the couch. That's why he's not in the picture above. Yeah.. he works 12 hours a day while I get to rack my brains. I LOVE YOU AUBREY!!!! We both rack our brains for the good of mankind. WTF?

Aubrey needs to go to the bar with me the next time. I'm getting fucking tired of these dudes that come up to me and offer me a hair dressing and god damn foot massage and paid-for drinks at Sammy T's. Do they not have enough sense to look at the lady's left hand for a damn wedding ring? DUMBASSES!!! Have some damn common sense. I mean, you seem like you have your speech down and everything...you'd think you would have done this kind of thing before.

Ah, shit. All three of us wear glasses. HAHAHAAA!! DORKS!

Plastic Barbie.

My teacher said that my painting sucked because my figure's boobs are too big and her hair has been "babified". Also, there's no greens, reds, or yellows used in the tone of the skin. Yes, there IS a right and WRONG way of painting. UUGGHHH!!! HERE'S my teacher's website. Have fun. And I only posted this painting because I wanted CARRIE to see it because her email is suckie fuckie in the bunghole.

Violence Jack Off.

ENGRISH.COM

I totally forgot about this site! I hope they take-a mista cod.

Someone from Toney, AL?

CARRIE was looking through my sitemeter today and asked me if I new anyone from Toney, Alabama. I was like, "HELL YEAH! That's where I grew up and went to gggeeerrrr.... high school! I read that someone from sitemeter was looking at my shit and searched my name using google. So, if you are back, PLEASE leave a comment or email me @ winds_of_rome@yahoo.com!!! (I bet it was you, Cathy :-|) I'm also on Facebook, if you are currently or have ever attended UAH or Sparkman (or any University as long as you have a college email), then you can start an account on FACEBOOK.

BTW, MEATBAG told me that the U.F.O. video was a commercial for SciFi. Here are LETTERS written to the actress in the helicopter. Meatbag owes me two really hard slaps in the face. Bugger.

I just found out today that I'm on the Dean's list!!! HIP HIP WHORE-AYE!!!