Misunderstood

Something was said to me today that saddened me and caused me to ponder; “Why am I never happy”.  Many people are under the assumption that because you are not content at living a ‘normal’ (routine) life then you must not be ‘happy’.  That if you constantly want change in your life that you are seeking for that lost happiness.  You could not possibly be happy if you always want change.  It led me to ponder, Am I really not happy? Why do I like change? Am I not normal?

Am I really not happy?

I look back to my past and see a lot of sorrow and pain that I do not wish to relive.  However, I would not be here in the place I am today if it was not for those painful memories.  I know what unhappiness feels like and I do not define that as my life now. I have a wonderful husband and three beautiful children.  Yes, our family is not perfect and we have our challenges (doesn’t everyone) but I consider our family a ‘happy family’.  I have a beautiful home that we enjoy, in a state that we absolutely love, and in a city that has tons to offer.  I have the opportunity to stay home and homeschool my two youngest kids. My wonderful husband supports me in all of my crazy ideas and adventures.  I have overcome and accomplished many things in my life.  My family is healthy, we live in a free world (for now at least, but that’s a whole other topic), I have everything that I need and could want, and I have choices every day of my life.

Why do I like change?

I cannot answer this because I do not know; looking back I believe that I have always been this way.  Although some will blame it on my military experience, I know a lot of veterans that live a ‘normal’ lifestyle and are perfectly happy. I guess I just want it all; I want to do, see, and experience it all. 

I enjoy change; change in environment, change in my daily activities, change in interests, change in hobbies, etc.  In the military I was known as “The Jack of All Trades” (aka. Expert of None) and I have a plaque to prove it.  I am perfectly happy with this description of me; I would much rather know a little about everything than a lot about a few.  I enjoy learning new things but get bored and shortly must move on to a new adventure.  I find myself unsettled with the same daily routines and must find a new adventure. 

Am I not normal?

Until recently, I thought that maybe I had ADD or something that ‘caused’ me to be this way.  Through my research on RVing Fulltime I have found so many people that are like me; they too want to experience it all.  I think that is why I am so drawn to RVing fulltime; because there is a new adventure all the time.  Routine is boring to me, I am not saying that it is bad but it just does not make me happy.  Maybe I have an adventurous gene inside of me or some kind of separation gene.  I have never been one to be ‘attached’ to things or even people.  Thanks to Facebook I keep in touch with people that I grew up with but I have never been one to keep long close relationship (surprised that I’ve been married for almost 12 years; but that’s because I finally found the perfect husband for me).  Maybe I have an attachment/detachment disorder.  I am okay with change; I am okay with picking up and moving away to a different place and not knowing anyone.  I am the person that is okay with going to a movie or restaurant by herself but I also enjoy hanging out with my friends.  Maybe I have an invisible wall up or maybe I am afraid of getting hurt; I do not know.  So, maybe I am not ‘normal’ but I do know that there are tons of other people out there just like me; I’m married to one.

I AM Happy!

Regardless of how or why I am the way that I am; I AM happy.

1.      I am happy that I have the opportunities to change things in my life when I want to.  

2.      I am happy that although some changes do not work out (many do not), I know that I learned and grew from the experience.

3.      I am happy that I have the confidence to make these changes regardless of what others think or expect.

4.      I am happy that I do not fear change because we will all experience change in our lives rather we want it or not. 

5.      I am happy that I do not fear the unknown; the unknown is a new adventure. 

6.      I am happy because I am a strong woman and it takes a strong woman (or man) to go through what I have and be happy and positive about life.

7.      I am happy because I choose to be happy and not let the world dictate my happiness.

8.      I am happy because I choose to listen to what I want.

9.      I am happy because I have a supportive husband and children that make me smile daily.

10.   I am happy because I am who I am and I do not care what others think of me.

Are YOU happy and living your true self???

Are you living your life for yourself or for someone else?

We only have one life so make it YOUR life!

 

Nomadic Dream

So, I have failed to maintain current on my blogging.  However, our recent discussion on becoming nomadic has caused me to ponder over restarting my blogging.  So here I am, explaining to the world why we want to trade in our almost 4,000 sq ft house (5 bdrm, 4 ½ bath, 3 car garage, luxury theatre room, game room, newly built freeform pool with paradise landscaping, and gated community) for about a 400 sq ft home on wheels without these luxuries. 

First it is important to know a little about us, my husband and I are both military (Air Force) veterans; I served 12 years and my husband retired after 21 ½ yrs.  We have three children, Kayla is 17, Erica is almost 16, and Sean just turned 7 yrs old.  I currently homeschool Erica and Sean while Kayla will be finishing her last year in public school.  We live in northern San Antonio, Texas and love it here; although the traffic is a bit of a downside.  My husband and I both joined the military shortly after graduating high school and have both traveled around the United States and each stationed overseas (me in England and my husband in Germany).

Like most Americans we have worked hard and thrived to have the American Dream.  You know, the big house (bigger and “nicer” is always better, right!), nice cars, toys, nice pool, nice vacations, and spending, spending, spending.  Well, we thought the ‘American Dream’ would bring us fulfillment but instead it brought restraint.  We found ourselves ‘living to work’ instead of ‘working to live’.  After obtaining all the ‘things’ that we thought we always wanted we started to feel suffocated; yes, suffocated in almost 4,000 sq ft.   Suffocated by the responsibility to maintain this lifestyle and keeping it clean and organized (even when we had a housecleaner it seemed too much).  We probably use maybe 1/3 of the rooms in our house on a daily basis.  With the girls almost off to college or the military, we started contemplating downsizing in a few years.  However, we couldn’t decide if we wanted to live in the country or live in a gated community again so we pushed the idea aside for a little.  I can’t even remember what triggered it but we started talking again about going RVing full-time. 

Note: Years ago we had a Class C motorhome and spoke about going full-time but with three kids (two of which can barely stand to be in the same room with each other) we felt that if the kids didn’t kill each other we might (this is sarcasm, please don’t take it literally).  We did however live in our motorhome for a few months while in transit between Maryland and Texas; we all survived.

We started thinking about how we could continue homeschool our son and show him the United States instead of reading about it in books.  How my husband could retire, again, but for the last time at the age of 50 years old.  We could see the country that we served jointly for over 33 years.  We enjoy moving around so this was not a factor that concerned us.  We started thinking that we could sell our house and most of our personal belongings and go RVing for a year.  But then we started figuring out that one year is not enough to really see the US; I’m not talking driving through states, I’m talking REALLY seeing the country.  So we figure why set a deadline, just go for it and if it doesn’t work out then we can just come back to Texas and buy a new house.  So, we have about 2 – 2 ½ years until we plan to make this new dream happen.  We are waiting for the girls to be off either in college (Kayla) or the military (Erica); once they are settled we plan to hit the road full-time until we want to stop.  This could be a month, six months, a year, we don’t know.  Meanwhile, we have a lot of stuff to rid ourselves of over the next two years.  It’s unbelievable what you can pack a house with and don’t even realize it until you start thinking of downsizing to a 400 sq ft home.  We have SLOWLY started to purge stuff that we don’t use or won’t be using over the next couple years.  We haven’t even made a dent but I can’t express to you enough how good it feels.  On top of that, there are so many things that I HAVEN’T purchased.  When I go to buy something now I stop and ask myself “am I going to need this in the RV”, if not, “is it worth buying just to have for the next two years”.  There are SO many things that I have stopped myself from buying. 

You know, I don’t know for sure what is going to happen in 2 – 2 ½ years.  Something might change that will cause us to rethink our dream of living a nomadic lifestyle; we do tend to be a BIT fickle.  But even if so, the feeling of freedom that I am feeling ridding myself of the ‘stuff’ surrounding me is all worth it either way.  The money that I am saving by thinking twice about purchases can never be a negative thing.  I don’t want my life and dreams to be about ‘things’; I want to truly feel freedom and enjoy my family and the natural beauty that surrounds us.  So many people die without even leaving the state or even town that they were born in.  How amazing would it be for a 9 year old boy to see, I mean REALLY see, the country that his parents served.  To later in life, read about places or see them in movies/television and know that you were there.  That is the gift that I want to give my son.  Although, our girls will not be able to accompany us on this journey, I hope that we can be an example to them to not fall into the ‘American Dream’ pit but to create their own dreams.  Regardless of what happens, I want to find the joy in living a more minimalistic life.

Kayla's first Homecoming - 2011

I can't believe I have a daughter old enough to go to Homecoming.  Kayla went with a bunch of girlfriends; she's not old enough to date yet.

Work in Progress!

Old faucet

New faucet - not the best picture

Artwork from scrapbook and 12x12 plywood

Before - sorry pic is so dark

Living room - work in progress

Living Room - want a reading nook or something below the pictures

Before

After - Eat in area - a few things to do yet

Before - Study

Study - a good start

Table project

Up close Before picture of my table

Long processes - Almost done sanding

My helper - found marker drawings underneath the table.  Hmmm, wonder who that was???

Stencil down and painted

Finished project

Home

It's been awhile since I have blogged and a lot has happened. Just a few things: we bought a house, Erica went to MD, Kayla went several difference places to include a 2 week road trip, I started back to school, Jon is one class away from his MBA. I will start with the house and catch up later on the other events. We bought our house about a month ago and we have been busy moving in and decorating. Though we have gotten a lot done there is still a lot left to do.

This is our new house! 5 bedroom, 4 1/2 baths, gameroom, media room, study, dining rm and 3 car garage. We feel in love with this house before it even went on the market (no exaggeration).

Kayla's in the Church News! Far right in pink shirt.

Unity: 'For the power is in them'

Youth leaders noticed, helped other girls to feel included

By Mary N. Cook

First counselor, Young Women general presidency

Published: Saturday, July 16, 2011

 

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to address youth in San Antonio, Texas, about their opportunity to lead out in today's world. Afterward, a few Laurels sitting on the front row ran up to me to share their experience in leading out in unity. With broad smiles they excitedly reported, "The crayon box has made a difference. It's really helped us with unity among our young women!"

©IRI

Mary N. Cook First counselor in the Young Women General Presidency.

They mentioned that in one of their Sunday lessons, reference was made to the talk I gave in the 2011 General Young Women's Meeting, "Remember This: Kindness Begins With Me."
In the talk, I described the experience of a counselor in a bishopric who made the comparison of his congregation to a crayon box. "While looking out over the congregation, [the counselor] saw a child with a large box of crayons filled with a variety of different hues. As he looked at the many members of his ward, he was reminded that, like the crayons, they were very similar but each person was also very unique. He remarked: 'The shade they brought to the ward and the world was all their own. … They had their individual strengths and weaknesses, personal longings, private dreams. But together, they blended into a color wheel of spiritual unity.' "
The young women gave me a brief synopsis of how they were trying to look at each member of their Young Women classes as unique individuals, bringing their own color to their Young Women "crayon box." As youth leaders, they took the responsibility to notice and help any young woman who needed to be included or seemed lost. They had a motto, "We want to be sure no one is missing from our crayon box!" Happy with their brief report, they hurriedly ran to the next session of the youth conference.

©IRI

Curious about their comments, I sought out their ward Young Women leader to tell me more about these exceptional young women and the success they were having in unifying the young women in their ward. I quickly learned that this leader believed and followed this scripture: "For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves" (Doctrine and Covenants 58:28).
As a Young Women leader, you are called to serve as a guide. You help class presidencies access this "power [that] is in them" as you teach them their responsibilities and how to counsel together to strengthen individuals.
The Handbook, section 10.3.5, outlines the responsibilities of class presidencies:

They watch over and fellowship class members, especially those who are new members or less active and those who have disabilities or other special needs. They pray for them, spend time with them and become genuine friends.

They help class members establish close friendships, learn leadership skills and live the gospel.

They help each young woman know that she is welcome when she becomes a member of their class.

This wise Young Women leader understood these responsibilities and the powerful effect that young women can have on each other for good. As part of a regular leadership training meeting with class presidencies, the leader posed this question, "What do you think the young women in our ward need?" The Laurels said "Unity."
With the Laurels leading the discussion, they used effective principles of counseling together by making observations, expressing concerns and making recommendations to address the issue of unity among their young women.

©IRI

Young women from San Antonio, Texas, were able to enjoy greater unity among their class when youth leaders took note of each girl.

OBSERVATIONS — They noted that their ward had recently experienced a reorganization and that some new Beehives had moved in and were less active. The young women observed that they didn't really feel connected; they were nice to each other, but noticed that there were times when some were on the "sidelines." The Laurels recognized that they weren't reaching out to all, especially those who were less active.
CONCERNS — Aware of their responsibility to watch over and strengthen others, they were concerned that some young women were lonely and unhappy. They were concerned that they weren't regularly attending and didn't feel included.
RECOMMENDATIONS — While guiding the girls, this effective leader asked, "What do we need to do to include them?" She reminded the young women that this was their responsibility and that her role was to facilitate and assist them in solving the problem. She asked, "What are YOU going to do?"
As they brainstormed ideas, the Laurels reminded the leaders about the "crayon box" lesson and taught the concept to the other class presidencies who were in attendance. They talked about how each girl is a unique individual and needs love.
They made a plan to personally take note of each girl. They used the word "crayon" as a code word to get the attention of the others that someone was "lost" and needed to be included. If they heard the word in a sentence, such as, "I'm looking for my scripture crayon," everyone would take note of the girl on the sidelines and someone would take action and reach out to her in a genuine effort to make her feel included.
The leader wanted the girls to reach out to each other. At first, the young women did well, but she noted that it took constant encouragement and reminders to stay with the plan. She cautioned that patience is critical and adult leaders need to resist stepping in and doing it themselves, even though it might be easier. Allowing the young women to use the "power [that] is in them" will not only bless others, but the class leaders will be greatly blessed as well. Be aware that they won't do things perfectly and sometimes we even have to let them fail — BUT if they learn from these experiences, it's progress!
Little by little, all are seeing greater unity among their young women. One girl, whose family is less active, is coming more often. Another who has some family challenges has opened-up, is smiling, laughing and participating more. An added bonus, noted by the girls, is that she doesn't sit on the back row anymore.
Many of you have just completed or are in the process of girls' camp. Camp is a great place to teach and practice leadership skills. As we visit Young Women camps, we see this great power among youth camp leaders. We see them setting positive examples to younger girls, including others, teaching, training and solving problems. Remember that this opportunity for young women to lead out can be done year round!
Young women have the ability to solve problems often better than we do. Teach them how to counsel together effectively by making observations, concerns and recommendations. Follow the example of this fine leader in San Antonio who has made leadership a year-round expectation, rather than just a once-a-year experience. In so doing we will prepare our young women to shine, become great leaders and change the world.