we took a drive up to the snow and here were a few of the most beautiful things....

along our way...holiday traveling...we stop for a moment

to catch our breath....

What step do you wish to take?

i find this as maybe a positive sign that now is the time...a battle i have struggled with...knowing clear in my mind what it harm has and will be done...yet forever enjoying the moments it has given me....my hide away...even a second or two...i inhale...exhale...i went to bed knowing i had only 1 left and after almost 17 years...i feel the time is now...the step i wish to take is for my body to be rid of the toxins i have willingly put in them throughout the day and strength on my journey of saying no more.

what more could we be thankful for..

warm magical feelings.....

"mama, can i bring all my g.i. joes with us?"  "yes, pick them up and put them in the little baggie"

"i can put them in the car?"

"hey why don't you grab your bag and we can put them in there!"

"~mama your a genious~"

from such a little mouth i still take this as a huge compliment...don't think i've been referred to as a genious before!

in the quiet of this morning, as i sit here alone, my heart is heavy....my mind is full...

in just a few hour i will be taking my father in to the doctor....checking for something so dispicaple...something that already took the life of my father in law a just few months ago...a road we have already traveled...dark & cold.

the spirit within me says only to send good vibes out into the universe....but the human side of me is struggling with all the what ifs...the selfishness of my own feelings...not wanting to endure the possibilities of this path....

i truly know it is not about me...but sometimes its hard to push aside those thoughts that haunt you....the possibility of a journey that comes to an end...when you are not ready to embrace it...when you feeel time has not been enough...

i want to believe in my heart and rid the human thoughts from me and KNOW not just believe that fate will run its course and there will be a happy ending to this day.

picture by~ Paulina Cassidy

~OBSERVE....try to see the people & things around you as they are, not as you wish them to be~

from body & soul magazine

moments a mama loves

in the dark...no one else but the two of them...

snuggled up together, waking side by side...whisperin and snickering together...now thats a way to start the day....

~Fresh Homemade Butter~
 we have done this a handful of times only as a science activity, i began thinking about the price of butter and they joy of making it fresh, off to the store we went....

1 pint of heavy whipping cream equals

1 cup of creamy butter & 1 cup of gorgeous buttermilk

what you need:

~glass jar w~lid & 1 pint heavy whipping cream

~ pour 1/2 pint of heavy whipping cream in jar

~tighten lid

~shake (mind you this will take 10-20 minutes...we left ours out until it reached room temp)

~once it forms a clump, remove & store

~add the other 1/2 pint and repeat as you just did

this is a wonderful activity for children...releases alot of energy while creating something delicious