Bloggy Friends, meet Amos...Amos, meet Bloggy Friends...

So, in an odd and very convenient twist of fate, our household has been enlarged by one...Meet Amos:

For those "non-local" bloggy friends and readers out there, I am known as a bit of a dog rescuer/home finder guru.  I have an awesome internet connection of peeps through which I regularly post and pass along pics and info of great furry little angels looking for new homes and needing some human help.  Nothing warms my heart more than getting an e-mail or call and learning that one of my e-mail missions has resulted in a dog finding a new home where he can be loved and spoiled rotten! ;)  So, this past Friday I get an e-mail from my friend Lu passing on a plea from her preacher's wife to help find a home for a 6 month old pit bull they are fostering. They already have 4 dogs, 3 cats and a toddler and while they loved him dearly, they just couldn't add another member to their ark.  So, I prepare to send out my "puppy rescue" mass e-mail and then I look at the pictures of the little guy (they called him "Rocky") The minute I saw them I KNEW this dog had my honey's name written all over him...like they are owner and dog soulmates.  Turns out they are :)

So, we packed up Lola the WonderCorgi and headed out to the preacher's house Saturday so we could meet "Rocky" and see if he passed the Lola test. He did...with flying colors.  So, as of yesterday morning we now have a "little" brother for Lola.  They get along great, he doesn't mind the cats at all, and he is like the biggest sweetheart and couch potato!  He didn't have the easiest puppy-hood but has instantly adapted to life in our house--couch naps, treats, outdoor chaise lounge, inside puppy beds, Lola chases, playing fetch, lots of petting and loving, bones to chew...yep, he's loving it! We renamed him "Amos" after Amos Lee because he has that same mellow, laid back and easy going vibe as Amos Lee's music. Plus, his just looks like an Amos :)

He also seems to have house-trained himself in less than 12 hours. Seriously.  This dog rocks!!! He is so sweet, calm and loving it is just great...he melds into the household perfectly! And last night we were having a cook out with friends and although he's only been at our home for less than 12 hours he just acted as if this had always been his place and was sweet and loving to everyone...even getting lots of hugs and wallering from Lu's little boy ;)  Matt absolutely adores him and he is obviously just as smitten with Matt. So, overall...an awesome weekend!!!

Snow-a-licious

Ok, we had like 4-5 inches of snow here today!!!  You may ask, what is the big deal...half the nation has been having winter storms for months.  I live in Alabama, people...that's the big deal, We like never have real snow...only like a half inch of snow-slush every 5 years when the moon is full and Venus is in the fourth quadrant.  So, today was wicked cool! 

Lola and I went out on a puppy walk while it was still pelting down and I discovered it is kind of hard to walk a hyper snow-crazed Corgi when the snow is coming in at you...like, you can't see...and your eyelashes get all icy.  And, really... the dog that REFUSES to go out in even the tiniest bit of rain because she won't get her paws wet was like having an arctic adventure just bounding and plowing through the stuff. I literally had to MAKE her come inside, so I could defrost my nose hairs. Yah, it was that cold. 

We had the youngest kiddo with us this weekend and he, of course, was totally stoked about the white fluff from heaven. After teaching him how to make a snowball we had a viscous, take no prisoners, snow ball battle until he realized he could now longer feel his feet (why, oh why, I ask you does his mother send him away for the weekend with a forecast of "snow" and 30 degree temperatures armed only with Crocs?!?!)  Anyway, it was probably a good thing he noticed the frostbite setting in because as it is, I have a nice bruise on my inner thigh and on my back from some seriously deadly snowball hits.  

So, by the afternoon it was all melted (sigh) and just wet and muddy outside. So is the life of a winter day in Dixie. Oh, and we are supposed to be in the 70's-80's by end of the week. Nice. 

It's still freakin' cold here, now that the sun has set, and I'm about to curl up with the Man and watch some Rock of Love...Good Times!

Peace Out!!1 

I have a vented wide mouth...

or at least that's what it says on the side of my Coors Light can. Huh? Is that some not-so-subliminal "sex-sells" message Coors is putting out there so that when guys are scoping out the beer aisle at the local quicky-mart they read "VENTED WIDE MOUTH" on the can and instantly think of Traci Lords?  

Anyway--I'm obviously back to blogging at home in the comfy of my own pj pants and t-shirt. Well, I guess it's obvious--I could be blogging at work while slugging back a cold one...not likely, but it could happen. But, I'm at home in my recognized, safe blogging domain with a cold beer and Matt cooking something that smells heavenly over in the kitchen.  I feel warm and secure. Would be better if I wasn't out of cloves, but I am and I'm not venturing out in "5-tornado-warnings-in-the-last-3-hours" weather for a fix. Sorry. Apparently I'd make a horrid drug addict...not committal enough it seems.  Give me some rain, wind and a few lightning bolts and I'm out!

So, just a note. WTF is up with people in WallyWorld? Now, I realize that is  HUGE topic that could span like decades of blog material but I just have to say this...we all know you can by-pass at least part of the Hell that is Wal-Mart by going to check out in the Garden Center.  It's like a free pass from all the nightmarish lines, self-checkout aisles that never fuckin' work, and "Customer Assistance needed on aisles 2, 5, 7, 8, 13, and 98" sound system pages that always seem to screw with the one line you managed to pick to stand in out of the 200 they have.  But, there are rules people...there are always rules.  With perks come responsibility. Like this one: the Garden Center checkout is not quite as limited as the Express Lane in items allowed, but by no means is it a free for all checkout to be used by just anyone. There are limits. 

For example, say I come bee-bopping out to the Garden Center check out with my 4 items (Aveeno bath salts, Aveeno bath scrub, a bag of pig ears --for the dogs--, and a Star magazine) and I am faced with a severe customer back up standing in a line/glob formation at the register which resembles a small, confused mob because some yahoo is there with two (count them...TWO) carts chock full of like 20, 000 items.  Fuckin-A! Really? Yep-and that is exactly what the customers, cashier and little old greeter lady heard come out of my mouth yesterday...and not so quietly either.  I mean, COME ON!!!  It's the freakin' Garden Center check out line for people with either (1) actual garden crap, or (2) a few items that need to get the Hell out of dodge.  I mean, the cash register counter isn't even full sized out there--it's one of those miniature deals that can only hold like 3 things at once...there's a reason for that my dear SuperFreak with 2 carts full of crap. Ugh.  So, after crushing the virgin ears around me with my sounds of frustration I did two things. First, I cut a look at Two-Cart-Chick that was so glaring that she is probably today waking up with signs of whiplash and wondering if she was involved in a fender bender she forgot about. She should be glad she wasn't hit upside the head with a large Rollback Smiley. Fo' real. 

And two, I did one of those things I never, ever do. I sat my stuff down on a random display (I think it was tulip bulbs or something) and just left. As a former retail worker I hate when people are too lazy to put things back in their place and I adhere by a very strict code of buy it or reshelve it, but I was at my LIMIT yesterday.  In hind sight, I should have walked over to the 20,000 items-or-less chick and just added them to Cart No. 2.  So yah, I was "that person" yesterday and, yes, my time was more valuable and, yes, at least I am socially aware enough to know the Rules.  

Hence, the wide vented mouth...

Don't call it a comeback...

I been here for years! Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear!

Well, ok maybe more like a couple months now. But you get my meaning...that's how I roll. Me and L.L. are like twins, baby! So, yah, I've been kind of out of the bloogy loop lately and after several inquiries into my whereabouts (and thank you for missing me--it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to know people notice if I fall off the face of the earth) I've managed to carve some time out of my afternoon to make an appearance. And, by the way, it is WAY different typing this at work...first off, no wine or cloves! Ugh! I'm thinking I should get a liquor/smoking license for my office--just within the confines of the four walls of my little beige cube in the world over here. Also, well...I'm in work mode and thus in work clothing, not like comfy Snuggie-wear. Nor is there a sexy, bald man cooking me dinner nearby. Yah, I like blogging at home MUCH BETTER!

Oh, and let me just say this...so, I've been non-posty for two weeks...fourteen days, people...and I come back today to be welcomed with the fact that I now have one less follower?!?! WTF? Really? I'm just hoping it's that one odd guy from micro-Indonesia (nothing against the Pacific rim or anything--just had some sushi the other day and it was fab!) whose blog page is like some bizarre-o ad for "instant-make-money-now", "enhancement-grow-big-boy" and "cash-checks-for-Nigerian-Princes.com" pyramind scheme shit. I like deleted him once and he came back...ugh, all the weird ones do. So, you can tell I'm really crushed since I haven't even taken my typical obsessive stalker steps to figure out who it is that has committment issues around here, but really? I may not read all my "fave" blogs all the time but to just quit following one with no discussion, no expression of reasoning? I mean, seriously, WWJJ do? (that's my Jim Jones reference for the week...cheers to the Kool-Aid!) Blog following is not just trendy...it's not like getting a goldfish or something. It requires serious thought and committment, people. I am fragile and my dainty ego just can't take things like this! (please, hold the laughter at least until the end of the paragraph) Geez!

Anywhoo-So, where have I been? No, I'm not knitting a car cozy, nor have I joined a yarn cult (although lately I'm thinking that might be a better direction in life...). Just doing stuff. You know, typical adult life stuff...

Seriously, I'm actually racking my brain to come up with some great story of what I've been doing...yah, nothing is coming to mind. Basically my past two weeks have been spent:

1. Watching La Princessa try to do work on her own (hours of entertainment...well, more like mere minutes--she could never really sustain consecutive hours of work, but still pretty funny stuff

2. Knitting my arse off! I've made like 5 adult scarves, 2 adult hats and 2 child scarf/hat sets for "purchase." (insert eek of joy here!!!!) I like knitting...and I like getting paid for it even more! I really do think I'm about to set up an Etsy store soon with scarves, hats, shawls, blankies, afghans, baby stuff. I'll keep you posted on the Grand Opening! :) As I watch the daily news reports on the economy I'm thinking it may be smarter to hone my knitting skills vs. the legal eagle skills these days.

3. Watching American Idol...with Matt's commentary (which is freakin' priceless, I might add--incredibly not P.C., but hilarious)

4. Puppy sitting for my parents who took off for a wild week in Vegas (and I'm just not even letting my mind go there...it's my parents for Christ's sake!). So, yah, we have Rebel, the Sheltie pup and he and Lola are taking over the house, yard and couch in an eternal WWF puppy-smack down play fest.

5. Drinking (well, yah)

6. Gossiping on the phone with my sister (usually while doing Number 5, above)

7. Thinking about getting on the treadmill. This actually takes up a large portion of my time and I'm hoping that by some odd psychic miracle of thought wave energy it might have the same effect of me actually getting my ass up and on the treadmill.

8. Being mortified by my so-called "friends" posting pictures on Facebook of me on a beach...in a bikini....circa 1996. Ack!!!

9. Working...ish

10. Snuggling with Matt.

11. Enjoying some early Spring-like weather. I actually got a little "pink" on my cheeks, nose and arms the other day just from sitting outside in natural sunlight for a couple hours. Nice. Bring on the warmer weather!

12. Scoping out knitting and yarn websites and sales (I am such an uber nerd...I know).

13. Sleeping.

14. Helping Matt plan a revolution so we can secede from being subject to (a) the Jefferson County sewer bill crisis and all it's debauchery and increased burden on the taxpayers, (b) the deep-fried porky goodness of the "stimulus package" that is the single largest legislative act in the history of this country that NO ONE has read!!!, and (c) from having to allow Git-mo prisoners to have a trial under the laws and protections of America...they aren't citizens, hence the not having the same rights we do...if they want certain inalienable rights then they should come over here to swear allegiance to our contry, not to kill us. We are working on a name for our little Republic...Lolaville? Mattopia? I personally like WTF-ville :)

Yep, that pretty much rounds out my life lately. Peace out!!!

The first step is admitting you have a problem...

Hello bloggy friends! So, I have once again lapsed for a brief moment from my blogging world. But it's because I have a new addiction.  I mean a real one (not like my nightly wine and cloves...).  I mean, I can't wait to get home to start it up!  As soon as I log out of the computer at work I am already all giddy in anticipation of coming home to play with it! In fact, I've had nights where when faced with the choice of my vino/smoking/gossip ritual and getting out the new contraption...well, let's just say the wine bottle hasn't been uncorked.  What could this magical new toy be, you ask? Well, feast your eyes on this!

I know! Isn't it great!  Now, I can hear your questions already...What is that? Is it even legal to buy one of those in Alabama? Where do the batteries go?  

My friends, this is my new knitting loom. Yep. And it is like crack.  I picked this bad boy up last week and have been steadfastedly hooked on it (no pun intended) ever since.  For those people (like me) who cannot get the grasp of real knitting, this is like the bestest little invention ever! And apparently my uncoordinated peeps have been around a long time because these things were like originally used in the 1600's (although I'm sure they weren't made of plastic or a cool bright purple color...which by the way contrasts with my Snuggie very nicely when I am all curled up on the couch getting my knitting loom fix for the evening). 

Anyway, I am totally sucked in my it's mesmerizing power. I can watch American Idol, chat with Matt, pet Lola and knit all at the same time. It's like liquid crack! And it just calms me--which is always a good thing.  So far, I've made this...

It was my first project and since it was like 30 here today I tried it out and it's now my new favorite scarf!  I also made this cute little hat for one of my friend's little girls but, alas, forgot to get a pic before I gave it away.  Anywhoo...since wearing this to work today I've gotten like four "orders" for scarfs/hats from my co-workers.  Yay! More fuel for the addiction. I smell an Etsy shop coming on... :)

Ok, now back to my wine, cloves and blog reading. Oh, and for the inquiring minds, I smoke cloves with very precise tweezers and a miniature lighter...a habit I picked up from my days with the traveling flea circus :)

Peace out!

Voted "most likely to suck up for awards" in high school

First, sorry I've been out of the bloggy world for a little while and I swear I am going to try and catch up on posts and comments...but that pesky thing called "life" keeps getting in my way. Oddly enough I have discovered that if all I do when I get home from work is swill back red wine, smoke cloves, gossip on the phone with my sister, and blog...well, the laundry doesn't do itself, groceries do not magically regenerate themselves in the pantry, and the cats still need to be let out...otherwise you end up with BAD cat incidents involving the bathtub.  I'll just  leave it at that, but for all those Helpful Heloise fans out there, here's one for you: clorox and comet are a GREAT combo for removing all possible traces of kitty shit from your bathtub.  

So, anywhoo...imagine my utter glee at returning from a week of domestic "bliss" to find I got tagged for this:

by one of my favorite little bloggers, Joanie over at her Random Ramblings! (you MUST check her out, she is a doll...with a wicked sense of humor and the ability to curse in context...or at least those are two things I look for in my inner-circle crowd).  So, I am totally pumped! THANKS!!!! I mean, it has pretty colors, a girly-girl butterfly and refers to me as "the coolest"--what more could I ask for...well, other than like some cookies, a refill on the ole wine glass and maybe Ed Harris gift-wrapped in a bow on my front porch. But, then, that's another blog...

So, as required by bloggy law, I'm passing this awesome award on to five of my favorites...check them out...they rock:

1. Life With Kids is Never Boring is one of my favorites and for some odd reason she seems almost undiscovered. Which I totally don't get because she cracks me up and makes me spew wine out of my nose on a pretty routine basis. Really, you have to swing by her blog. 

2.  Simplicity over at Chasing Wentworth Miller is awesome, sweet and inspiring...yet still funny. Love her...just love her. 

3.  If you haven't already found Braja over at Lost and Found in India then go there...now.  I'll wait... She already has such a well-deserved following that I can't actually believe I'd have to direct anyone to her, but seriously--if the karmic forces haven't already led you to this lady then they are pushing you there now...you'll thank me for it later!

4.  Frogs in my Formula is also somewhere you simply MUST go (I sound like a travel brochure). But really, her tales from Mullettville are hilarious AND she is the genius behind the Snuggie give away. Uh huh...how bad ass is that?

and last, but not least...

5.  IB over at Idiot's Stew...and not just because he is a dude and I'm filling my obligatory equality quotient. He rocks...and hits on my sister via the internet..so, there's that :) Plus, I'm like triple dog daring him to post the girl-girl butterfly...

So, enjoy these gals and guy!  Peace out--the man is calling me to dinner...

 

Beware...ninja monkeys!

I often take Lola the WonderCorgi on fun little trips to the local pet store...she gets to meet (read: sniff the ass of) other dogs, watch the little fishies swim in the tanks, gawk at the ferrets and parrots and get free treats...so she is all for it.  Plus she LOVES to ride in the car and this way we both get out for a bit. 

So, the other day we went for our little jaunt to the pet store and in the midst of doggie-heaven Lola cam face-to-face with her arch nemesis...

NINJA MONKEY!!!

Ninja Monkey was actually one of Lola's first puppy toys and after a prolonged love-hate relationship she essentially tore his eyes off, ripped his hair off, took out his squeaker and stuffing and then slowly tore off all of his limbs one by one. The last time I actually saw "Ninja Monkey" he was reduced to a lone arm that she carried around in the backyard.  I assumed she buried the evidence and he was never heard from again...until last week when we happened upon a whole basket full of them on "clearance" at the pet store.  Really, how could I resist?

So, I brought home Ninja Monkey II...carefully hidden from Lola in a bag...until the other night when he sprang on her as she innocently slept on the couch!

At first she seemed shocked...disoriented even...Most likely wondering how he had returned from the grave to continue his torment...Then she snapped too and the viscious battle began!

At first, he tried to escape, but she had a pretty solid hold on him...the next thing I knew the hair pulling had begun...Girl, fight! Girl fight!

Then, this morning I found this...

I'm sure I will start finding "mysterious mounds" of fresh dirt in the backyard soon...