Breast feeding or not breast feeding...

So in the past month, I have had numerous experiences where like at the beginning of motherhood whether or not you breastfed became a choice of "which camp you are in". I have seen this in a lot of different areas of my life lately, especially adoption. I am seeing that we are all so passionate about certain things in our life that we blog about them and almost don't allow people to have a different view. It is a little disconcerting in that, why do we have to take sides? Isn't there truth in lots of things? Isn't it our job to seek out the bits of truth in all things, but not throw the baby out with the bath water? I am sensing a movement in the adoption world that you have to be either all about the attachment theory or all about not spanking or all about putting your baby in a sling or all about not letting your child leave your side or all about the child and not the parents, etc... What all of these decisions do sometimes is try to divide us. I think the "enemy" would LOVE that. I am sure most can see that God is on the move with adoption in this world right now as it seems to be increasing, but with it, it seems people are saying there is "one way to do it" because most agencies are only allowed to give certain advice in order to cover their bases in this world we live in. When you think back to decisions you make as a first time mom such as whether you breastfeed, whether you let the baby cry it out, whether you spank or do time out, whether you can spoil the baby in the first year, etc... all of them make you a HEAD CASE! The bottom line is that children who are parented either way turn out in all ways. We live with the belief that the way our children act is a direct reflection of what we are doing. We are their parents and it is our job to raise them and love them. There are many cases where parents do this and their children end up really struggling in life, but it is not their parents fault. The goal is to introduce to them to a loving Savior, not to make wonderful "products"... he is the one who can meet every need they have in the world and makes and refines the product... we can only walk with Him in the process.

I have decided that you just don't need to pick a camp. It is easier to pick one so you can fit in and it feels better because you "belong" to a certain one, but ultimately, you can't put all of this in a box. Parenting, adoption, and LIFE just can't fall one way or the other in decisions that are not a moral decision.
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Created for Care Retreat

Do you ever feel stumped how to communicate what has happened to you sometimes in life? After getting home from the adoptive mommas retreat, it is difficult for me to put into words all that occured. I have never had a weekend like this in my life; I saw God heal places in people's lives and felt his presence constantly. One of the highlights of the weekend was having a "date with God". I didn't have any expectations for this so when I walked in this cozy room and saw all the different stations, my heart felt warm.... like ah! I have been waiting to relax like this for years! There was a station with pillows under a tent where praise music was playing intended for listening to God, there was a station with Bibles, one with countries where you could pick the one God led you to, to pray for, a play dough station, a painting station, and a sticky note section where you could write your prayer requests. My blunt personality was thinking, "Is God going to really speak to me and show me what to paint? or Is God going to show me what to make with play dough really?" I believed that he would, but I think I was somewhat of a skeptic. So you get to pick where to go first... I almost ran to the place where I could just listen and receive. Within ten seconds I was crying. This doesn't happen to me that often because sometimes I feel like I have to schedule crying into my schedule. These were not tears of sadness, they were just tears of relief. Within about a minute, call me crazy, but I HEARD in my heart and mind God say these words to me... " I love you Martha; I see what you are doing." This is not a common occurence for me. I typically hear God speak through Scripture, but not necessarily just listening. I didn't feel like he was saying, "I see that you are adopting, etc..." I felt like he was saying, "I see you when you sweep so many times, clean up spills, coupon, etc..." This was so tender to me because I think I had gotten to a place where I had forgotten He sees me in all things. Again, it is too hard to put into words, but when something like this happens, parts of you are made new, restored, and ready for life again..... the theme I would say for me was RESTORATION.

Video of when we met Andrew and Sydney