Pack your bags!

I've moved.

You can find me here.

If you need the password for any of my protected posts, please e-mail me. My e-mail is under my profile information.

(although, truth be told, I'm having a bitch of a time getting it set up lol)

Maybe moving ...

A few months back, I created a sister blog on wordpress. There was something going on that I wanted to share with my IF family, but not the general public.

And blogspot, as much as I love it, doesn't let you make individual posts private - it's all or nothing with them.

So I created the sister account on wordpress for that very reason.

Unfortunately, I no longer have that reason and, for that reason, haven't used it in a while.

But there are other things you can do in that program that you can't do here. And photos seem to come more to life there than here.

So I'm considering moving my blog full time to there.

I haven't decided for sure just yet, but I'll keep you posted in case I do.

All the cool kids are doing it ...

I never do those year in review things. I tend to mention only the big ticket happenings, figuring no one really wants to hear the small 'had a smiley moment' ones. And then it comes off sounding ... I don't know ... either overly cheery or just downright dreadful.

All in all, 2009 really was a year of intense highs and lows. And, looking back, I think it was probably the small smiley moments that kept me from losing my mind.

In no particular order ...

One of my oldest and closest friends died, Hoss's vet issues gave me serious anxiety problems, and the year closed out with us having to put our old girl down.

I was hired on as an actual employee, I was up many nights with severe stomach pains, and I was able to reconnect with a bunch of old friends from high school.

We got a new couch and loveseat, I painted our living room and I'm still in love with it, and I'm able to comfortably wear jeans that I hadn't even been able to sit in when they were first purchased.

I fought with our tv provider more than once, became a great-aunt again, and found a Christmas village for seriously cheap.


I hope 2010 holds ...

A lighter me.

No more extended animal health problems.

A completed and approved home study.

And a Christmas with a family addition inside our own home. Um, the 2 legged kind. Not the 4 legged, talks funny kind.


So there ya have it. My version of a year in review.

Work ... with pictures!

Ms. J asked how my job is going.

Well, my job is going great! Sure it's not the most exciting thing on the planet (I'll never understand people who love working with numbers hah), but it's not all that boring, either. Like any job, it's pretty well the same sort of thing day in and day out, but there are enough extras to keep things interesting. And my manager has been super understanding with the whole pet thing. She's let me take time when I've needed it and even let me work from home a few days.

I really do love my job and the team I work on. It's exactly the type of job I was hoping to land after losing mine almost 2 years ago (hard to believe it'll be 2 years this coming April since I was fired!) and I really have no room or urge to complain.

Outside of that whole not being independently wealthy thing, that is.

And because you asked (although you didn't and you really never have to) ...

Sunday had us taking out the chainlink between Hoss and Pearl's kennel and me cleaning out old, nasty straw and laying new, clean straw.

It was a seriously busy day, but a good one. Hoss was excited and playful and got to spend at least a few hours out and about while Patrick and I tended to the kennels. Well, Patrick helped remove the chainlink and then changed my oil. I did the cleaning (ew, I was stinky by the end of it).

The funny part about opening the kennel up is that Hoss isn't quite sure what to make of it. He's psychologically used to the barrier, so he hesitates to go from one section to the next. He'll stand there, right in front of where the chainlink was, and stare into the open space. And If I go into Pearl's old section and try to entice him over, he runs out of his kennel and around to her door. It's funny.

And because I got a new snazzy camera and love showing off pictures of my pooch, I give you these ...

A couple of our friends came by the Wednesday evening before Christmas. They're both on my FB page, so they've seen the billion pictures of Hoss that I've posted. Upon seeing Hoss in person (dogson?) for the first time, the she of the couple said "I had no idea he was so huge!". So I took these in an attempt to kind of give everyone an idea of exactly how big he is.

This one is him mid-bark. After being out for a good 3 hours, tearing up sticks and tree branches, racing around after a ball, and generally being goofy, I thought it was nap time. Hoss had other ideas. Yes, that's straw in front of his kennel as well as in it. With all the rain we've gotten, the yard in front of his kennel was trampled and just as muddy / slick as the inside. So that whole area was doused in straw.

Ya know, blogspot sucks in the picture & video department. These pictures look so much better on FB than here - clearer, brighter. These really don't do them justice.

Anyway ...

It's nice to be able to post with a lighter heart. I've missed feeling relaxed and not constantly stressed out.

That's a wrap ...

The buildup to holidays is always so huge and then they're over in like 20 minutes.

I'll probably take the tree down (did I tell you a co-worker gave me her tree when some of the pre-lit lights wouldn't come on? No? well ... it's a huge $300 tree with a small section of non-working lights. A simple strand of 100 lights took care of the problem and we now have a beautimous Christmas tree for free!) and put the village away at some point this weekend.

I'm really not a leave everything up for an extra week kinda gal. Maybe if we had kids, it'd be different.

Anyway ...

I'm coming to you from a snazzy new 23 inch wide-screen monitor. Score! And I have a new kick ass digital camera. No more trying to take pictures with the crappy camera in my cell phone. Double score!

The downside is that we discovered I had a facebook worm and ended up reformatting my hard drive. Bye bye Sims3 and fave places. I can restart the Sims3 no biggy, but I always forget to backup my faves list. Woops.

Hoss continues to do well. He's pretty much back to his normal self. The cold weather has wreaked a bit of on and off havoc with his arthritis, though. Luckily for us both, I weened him off his prednisone early so I still have several pills left. When he seems pretty limpy, I throw 1/2 a pill at him in some cheese and he's much better. I'm going to put a call in to the vet's sometime this week, though. I can't keep odd and ending him on prednisone. I want to talk to them about getting some Rymadil to use when he's stiff. He's been on it in the past, so I know he tolerates it well and that it does work. And he won't be on it steady, so the worries of toxicity would be greatly reduced (as with any drug, Rymadil can have some seriously nasty side effects if a pet is on it full time).

He's actually barking right now. It's cold and damp and he won't sit in one spot (cold butt and all), but he'd rather not sit in one spot outside of his kennel even though he has like 5 blankets to keep him warm and comfy in his dog house.

Like I was saying ...

Hoss is back to his normal being quiet through the night and sleeping late in the morning routine. We plan on removing the kennel piece between his and Pearl's kennel (I think I've mentioned that), but I'm not sure when. I'd like to do it soon, though. No sense in keeping him cooped up in the 10 x 10 when he could have 10 x 20 (front to back is 10 ft and then it'd be 20 feet side to side).

He also doesn't run to Pearl's kennel as much now. He still goes and looks sometimes, but it's no longer a multiple times per day thing anymore. Now it's just maybe once or twice a day.

Speaking of Pearl ... Marc came over on Christmas Eve to help with a bit of cooking and then he was going to my mom's with us. He was looking at Pearl's box and opened it to see the bag of ashes and discovered, to my surprise, that they did include a lock of Pearl's fur. There it was, in a seperate baggy sitting on top of the baggy holding her ashes.

It was bittersweet.

And that's about it for us for now. I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday and was surrounded by love and laughter.

The new normal isn't really new ...

Today was the first day Hoss was without his cone collar and I was not home.

He was sound asleep when I left this morning, so no barking like mad at 5am.

And now that Hoss is out of the collar and completely off his meds, I reinstated Patrick as the morning dog feeder and headed to work. Not to fear, though ... I left him with instructions on "you can let him out to potty and then use cheese to get him back into his kennel". I'm a control freak like that.

Anyway ...

Of course, I had to check in and make sure he fed Hoss. Which he did.

But he said Hoss didn't physically get up, just raised his head and looked at him. Patrick left his kennel gate open and headed back into the house. Hoss never came out.

Combine that with the fact that he didn't make a peep after about 10pm last night. And then his radio silence this morning - no barking or whining or grumbling, just a passed out dog in my headlights as I backed down the drive.

My stomach started to knot.

Round and round I went all day with the 'what ifs' ... what if his incision really isn't better? What if he's sick? What if he's injured? What if the fluid in his leg is infected and he now has some blood thing going on? (have I mentioned being raised in a Catholic family? Yeah ... we go straight for worst case scenerio)

So I fretted all day.

Hoss was fine when I got home. A bit limpy on the arthritic left knee, but jolly and happy and playful.

What I need to do is remember a few points ...

Hoss was never a late night dog. Yeah, the prednisone had him funky and antsy and barky. But in general he goes down for the night around 8pm and that's that.

Hoss isn't a morning dog. The boy likes his sleep. He's usually sound asleep when I leave for work.

He responds differently to Patrick than he does to me. Hoss doesn't listen to Patrick as well sometimes, but he doesn't push Patrick as much as he does me. And where I'll climb half way into his dog house to scruff his sleepy head, Patrick won't. And it's the cuddly scruffing in the morning that he really responds to.

Another point ...

I have spent more than a month now on pins and needles.

First it was the unused leg. Then it was the vet visit and surgery. First set of stitches, repeated checking and watching. Torn incision two weeks later, leading to the 2nd set of stitches, followed by 3 more weeks of broken and torn cone collars, and a dog that was doped to the gills on antibiotics and steroids, causing him to demand almost constant attention.

While that's going on, our old girl was slowly going down hill. She went from moving about and just living life (albeit not jumping around, but still ... she enjoyed laying in the yard and barking at random things) to not being able to move at all in about a week.

The journey of the dogs ended with Hoss's 2nd set of stitches coming out and us having to put our old girl to sleep.

So for more than a month, this was my daily life. Tending broken and breaking pets.

And this morning Hoss, who had become a temper tantrum having toddler with large teeth, wasn't up for it.

Which, if I remember the points I listed above, is normal.

He was being his normal anti-morning self.

I, on the other hand, have turned into a nervous wreck.

I realized this afternoon that I know - I know - things are better. His incision is fine. It looks great and his fur is growing back. He's playful and eating and drinking.

But I'm having a hard time relaxing.

Being on a constant anxiety high for more than a month seems to have skewered the living shit out of my relaxometer. I'm seriously tightly wound right now.

And I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm not use to that level of stress for that long and it seems I'm having a hard time letting go of it.

Like right now ... Hoss is in his dog house and being quiet. Which probably means he's asleep (we kicked a ball around for a bit when I got home today). But I want to go outside and check just to make sure.

Argh.

I need to figure a way around this.

She's home ...

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words yesterday. I read them this afternoon and was seriously touched.

The pet service place called and Pearl's ashes were already at the vet's and ready to be picked up.

We opted to go with their 'regular' box - what the woman said is a 'plain pine box'.

Which really seemed to suit Pearl. She wasn't a showy, big egoed dog. She was simple and easy. So much so that people were always surprised when I mentioned her - they were so use to hearing about Hoss's antics that they didn't realize we even had another dog.

She was just that way, though. So very easy going.

So a simple pine box really did seem to suit her.

What we got, though, was so much nicer than either of us expected ...
















Here's a shot of the engraving ...















And, finally, her paw print. We knew it'd come with a memorial keepsake paw print, we just didn't realize it would actually be her print. It is. Which makes it that much sweeter.