Adieu 2011, Aloha 2012!

Like the past few years, at this moment, is the time to recall, re-glance and rebuild...

How time flies! 2011 is going to end soon, is time to say goodbye to year 2011...Let's all unhappy, sad, or bad time away with the passing of time....What had I gained in this year!

Yea! I found my first love, the one who I admired in past 7 years... Thanks God for Your leading, bringing Uncle Yong into my life...

Much more simple then you and I

This is the first time I waiting at Kuching Airport for at least 6 hours.. Yea, I'm departing to Singapore, to meet Uncle Yong.. It's gonna be the very first time for us... May God bless us to have Holiness between us.. No worry for that as God is between us.. =)

I copied the Bible, started with the book 哈巴古书，followed by 那鸿，then 哥林多后书 and end with 弥加. Take my time to blog a while after finish copy the first book. Thanks God too as I found a plug to charge my phone, otherwise I gonna be so dry in the airport.. It's kinda cold here~ freeze........

Well, I eyes rolling around when it is cried for tiredness.. I found something so weird scenario. Children nowadays no longer hampered by their parents but by iPad! PS2! Yet, it grabbed the communication among the family.. I saw a parents swapping the iPhone screen but letting their children playing on their own. It's kinda unhealthy... Another family I saw the mom the only time she talk with her boy who is playing the PS is when they are going to leave the airport, but in the whole brunch, the mom didn't talk with the boy at all... Didn't they feel weird?!

Oh... Am I also going to have this kind of living style with my new family? No way! It reminded me to stay away from electronic instruments and never give the children any IT at their young age. Give them Jesus, give them Bible, give them love. What they need is utterly simple... Much more simple then you and I.... It's all about LOVE...

Love is easy to say, easy to spell yet it's hard to work out... Seems hard but the only way.. God love us, giving His only son Jesus Christ to us, just because He loves us, the sinful people.. Christmas season is springing...Let's not waiting for Santa Clause, but Jesus Christ in Bethlehem...

What a bad day again today...

I just back from Cambodia Mission Trip last nite but I made a big trouble today.. It is what a bad day for me again...

I plan to tidy up all the grasses behind the house, so, today I started to cangkul it. When I was going to finish the last part of the day, accidentally cangkul the pipe beneath the soil. I really don't know there is a pipe there... Rushed into the house to tell my Dad and I can expect his reflection. Just right with my expectation, he is very very very angry! He looked at the pipe and screaming at me...asked me to get away.... saying that I'm rubbish... nonsense... useless... go to hell... Alright I know it's my fault.. Patient with his hotness.. I never fight back, but he beat me, with broom, with towel, with his hand.. I'm 26 years old now and how old I was beaten by dad again... Ha... Funny.. Really funny............... I patient with him.. But he kept on saying the harsh words... I said something where he saying not to do, I do more, but I never shout at him.. As I know this is not liked by God.. as Uncle Yong reminded me...

I felt sad why my Dad is like so... He made me so sad and disappointed... I really don't want talk with him anymore after this incident... How am I going to remedy this? I cried as really don't know what else I can do... Mom is not at home and i can't expect how Mom will react...

What happen to me lately? I was summoned twice in last week and I think this is the most unlucky matter.. Who knows.. Much more at the back... Is God training my patience? Ya... This is the only answer... I should thanks God for giving me such incident as I can be trained to become more patience... Well, he is my Dad and we are still staying under one roof. Ha... No talking at all?! Ha... Impossible.......

Do not have hatred as God doesn't like it...

The 7th month!

Just finished chatting with Uncle Yong, and we just realized that, it is the 7th month for our relationship!..Whao...How time flies..Thanks God for bringing us for the past 6 months...

How great is our God....We feel so sweet while chatting even we are far apart...But wonder...we feel so close....God is between us...He brought us the joy, the grace and the happiness...Without Lord, everything is dull and empty...our topic is only about feeling and the recent only.....God is bringing us to the future...to commitment...and to marriage....

I am committed in the relationship with Uncle Yong and he is the one that I want to be with in the rest of my life....The one and the last.... No matter how will be for our future, we know God is leading and He is watching!... Walk in His pathway and never lost FAITH with Him...God will never let us down, no matter in any circumference....God, we summit our relationship to You once again....May God leads us all the way...

God, how thankful we are....May Glory To The Father In Heaven....

Holiday

Holiday is started, that's mean my second year of teaching is going to end soon!...And, I still left 32 years of teaching life to go.... wao...such a long time....but, I will not be alone, as God will be with me always.... I want to follow Him all the way...

Pastor called me to have a new lesson next year as to ready myself for missionary in future...I don't want...I am not brave enough to be someone who can stand on the stage to deliver God's message...So, now, I just like play hide and seek with pastor, don't want let him find me....Hope he will cancel his mind...

I just tidy half way of my room and I was so headache with my 30 pairs of new shoes.. I wonder how can I finish wearing all of the shoes... Wardrobe haven't clean yet... Bedsheet haven't change yet... Oh.......so many things to do.....

Typing until here, which line is about the work of God? How much time did I gave to God? Less and less....

I get my pengesahan

I get my pengesahan today....That's mean I am pencen-ed! But, no feeling at all with that word anymore...so what I am pencen. I am worry last time and so headache with pencen or kwsp... I can't be missionary anymore? I can't choose my own likes? No way.....This will continue till the end....

Who says I lost freedom... God gave me lots and lots... Why not take good care of what God giving me? I enjoy teaching...but I damn hate paper work... God is leading all the ways and remedy my heart! Thanks God!

Story of two

I was blogging while Uncle Yong is calling.. Then he is asking, why still want to blogging since talk lots with him already... Well, it's just story about myself before, but now it is story of two~..

Even after I'm married, I'll still blogging, blog out the marriage life, the parental life, the child life, the family life and the life with God... Without God, what's life means? It means dull, it means despair...

With the endless love from God, then we are able to love people around more and more! Practice it in your relationship now!

I just miss him

Uncle Yong is coming home next week.. I just can't wait for the time to come... Day by day, he attracted me more and more... I'm fall in love with him.. Is this called loving someone?

I love the moment when we share.. Sharing our life, our view and have the same target for our future... He is my first love and I wish he will be the last one... Indeed..

Well, all of these have to be guided by God. we can't do anything without HIS wonderful blessing.. We want to practice HIS love in our relationship, wish to practice in marriage as well in future and at the same time, to people around, no matter now or future...

Afraid of distance relationship? No no no... There is nothing to afraid with FAITH in GOD... Tell God what you need! If you need more patient, pray to Him...when you need more listening, pray to Him... We usually pray before go to bed.. Ha... Sometimes will forget too... Have to remind ourselves always...

Steve Jobs was dead on 5th of October. But he left behind a great creation with wisdom from God, the Apple...Well, thanks God for bringing Apple for us, as now, it is the main contact instrument among us...We talk for at least one hour everyday....and.....it is free! LOL....Viber, Tango, Line, Whatapps....all are free...I have been presented the iPhone from a friend, such miracle as I never receive such an expensive present before....It is a present from God...Thank you..

God, thanks for bringing Uncle Yong to me... May our relationship glorify Your name!

A shocking news

Heard a shocking news on last few days....I don't agree with her view...

She is pregnant, even she is going to get married....She says she has to test him first whether he is ok or not....if cannot, then why still proceed to marriage? Well, I don't agree with her view....Sexual relationship is ON only in marriage! This is saying in Bible! Stand firm with God's words...

Don't afraid with no babies after marriage... God is faithful...Pray with Him for the babies....He will gave the babies at the right time... Keep on praying! Actually, she is pitiful too as the environment influenced her most....she saw lots of friends around or relatives couldn't pregnant after marriage and end with divorce in the last...she doesn't want this to be her sad story....So, she purposely want to pregnant...Gal, I hope you can cope with this....

Thanks God, when I share with Uncle Yong, he was surprised too...he does not agree with her view too where sex is only allowed after marriage... I was so thanks God for Him gave him to me...

I was fall in love with him now....I admit....Day by day, I miss him so much....lol....

I have been given the second chance...

Thanks GOD! You are so amazing! I want to glorify Your name!

Like what I said in last post, I was pencened! so suffer with that decision.......I down for 2 months ady....and know, God gave me the second chance to let me change...

I took a courage to call SPP in Kuching last two weeks...but now, maybe I will still stick to the same decision...pencen....

It is driving me crazy and I was so sien with it! Which one to choose? Am I greedy? Am I so silly sally? I am going to become crazy..........oh man! Lord, pls help me...I need You!

I don't like to do decision!

Foochow

Yesterday, when the students are doing their test, there is a teacher walk in and asking students to do a survey...A survey with a return RM10! Whiiii.......what scenario is this? Attract students with money? ha....even so, only 4 students raised up their hand to do the survey....

It is a survey about dialek talking at home...Our dialek is Foochow...Then the teacher asked the students, we as a Foochow lang, why not speak Foochow at home, why speak Mandarin or English with our family or friends? Lady, it is too autocratic la....It is our choice to speak any language or dialek at home.....I also speak Mandarin at home, with my parents and siblings, but I don't see any problems there....Well, I don't like to speak Foochow actually, thinking that it is quite rude sometimes, but, undeniably, it makes us more familiar when we are talking Foochow with friends or family around us......

I even thinking that, when I have children, I won't start to talk with them with Foochow, but Mandarin and English come first....More or less, Foochow will effect the children's mother tongue or pronunciation...When my children grown up, I will try to speak Foochow with them, or up to them to learn or not to learn...my parents don't either force me to speak Foochow...Thanks God for giving me such a free style parents....lol

So, never force, never sigh!

Foochow

Yesterday, when the students are doing their test, there is a teacher walk in and asking students to do a survey...A survey with a return RM10! Whiiii.......what scenario is this? Attract students with money? ha....even so, only 4 students raised up their hand to do the survey....

It is a survey about dialek talking at home...Our dialek is Foochow...Then the teacher asked the students, we as a Foochow lang, why not speak Foochow at home, why speak Mandarin or English with our family or friends? Lady, it is too autocratic la....It is our choice to speak any language or dialek at home.....I also speak Mandarin at home, with my parents and siblings, but I don't see any problems there....Well, I don't like to speak Foochow actually, thinking that it is quite rude sometimes, but, undeniably, it makes us more familiar when we are talking Foochow with friends or family around us......

I even thinking that, when I have children, I won't start to talk with them with Foochow, but Mandarin and English come first....More or less, Foochow will effect the children's mother tongue or pronunciation...When my children grown up, I will try to speak Foochow with them, or up to them to learn or not to learn...my parents don't either force me to speak Foochow...Thanks God for giving me such a free style parents....lol

Air Asia

Everyone can fly! It is your slogan, Air Asia....Everyone now is staring at you to book your zero fare air ticket. Either I...Yet, failed to book any cheap ticket, as it is published and hard to get the cheap one...Planned to go Taiwan in Aug holiday next year, but it is bubble now...sob sob.....

We as a teacher, is hard to go on other time beside the school holidays and the public holidays only...When we had holidays, it is other's holidays too.....aiz.....what good to be teacher? sigh....Felt sorry to friends as they have to deal with my holidays again...

Well, Doc also asking me to go to SG during holidays too....Oh man... I don't want to go so frequently actually....we are just couple and we are not married yet...Staying in the same house is not a suitable way...but he is not really understand with what I am worrying....sigh.......he says that, as long as we know what are we doing, just don't care about others people saying.....It is like so in guy's mind, but in gal's mind, it is totally different.......How's ya a gal's reputation gonna be?...Doubt..

Just watched a video clip entitled Distance relationship..tiring?! ha......for me, I am still alright with that, still can cope with the wanna-be-intimate feeling...Just, I doubt, how to know each other more without close contact! Well.....Im still studying......

Back from Sabah trip...

Back from Sabah, the second day here.....four limbs are painful and walking like a duck.....anyway, it is worth and meaningful...

Went to the trip together with Doc, he is caring and damn salute with his stamina....he carried my bag for at least 2 hours and kept on urge me not to give up, believe that you can! yea, I made it to Laban Rata only.....but to the peak, I am just near to it.....I am sorry to him because I was too weak to climb again...he chose to stay with me....I was so touched at that moment.....God, thanks for bring him to my life....

In this trip, I get to know him more and more...and the same to know myself more again....I just realized that I am give up easily and arrogant...he even comment me like that too...LOL....alright....

And, he used to be the one who is not give up easily.....but, he is soft hearted where always follow my wills only....is this a good way? doubt~

Well, I prefer to go in a group of people for vacation, but he prefers two people only as it is easier to deal with.......Well, we are quite different in this case...still need some time to deal with.....time is going.......

Thanks God, I felt refreshed after back from the trip...Although my foots are helling pain! but it makes me more treasure everything that I owned now and the guy accompanying me.......

Communication

How to say, communication is bloodly important in any relationship, in family, in carrier, in a relationship or in a marriage...it is a long life study...

We watched a link at Good Tv titled Test Before Marriage...We chat about the topic among ourselves...I love the moment while we share everything among our two, just about us....We prayed in the name of Jesus, before we start the test...

For the first one, where Sometime you are doubt with the thinking of your partner. his answer is agree and I'm disagree....I understand why he gave such an answer....as we just started for two days, I even thinking of break up! The same topic about religion even he had promised I will still feel worry or insecure! He doubts, why I am so hard to settle down....ha...Im doubt too....He didn't give me such feeling, cos he gave me the firm in the relationship and to me as well...just, I am easily disturbed by words around...Alright, Im still learning...please give me some time....

Just figure out that, I can talk slowly while talking with him...wonder...he always help me to analyse the situation, the pros and cons...and never mad with me even I know he wants to get mad.....He is more mature and rational then I....I know.....

Once a while, Im not confidence with marriage...as feeling that it is so fragile....It is not a marriage of two people only, but two families...People around impacted me that marriage is on when feeling is there, but off while the feeling gone...I felt shocked! But, Thanks God that most of the link on the website and his analyse twisted my mind. He asked me, what is the purpose God create marriage? Everything created by God is good, just our human twisted it and became bad..like sex too, it is a way for intimacy and to born a baby, but now, it is been misused! Marriage is created by God and gave us to glory His name.....Rely on Him when we are tired, but never lost faith! This is what he told me while in conversation...God's words relived in my mind....and Im sober up! Marriage is not a funeral, it is a moment where couple can learn to love each other more, grow up and glorify God's name...

I want to know him more....love the moment!

Marriage

Just finished reading a friend's blog....wonder about marriage! Is it fragile when the third party is involved, especially family?

Frank to say, once a while before, I was afraid about marriage after I heard her story...admit that, I am afraid that, I will be like so in future....For the moment, religion still the big problem among Dominic and I.....Will his family accept me?

I need a consult desperately a week before. But I don't know who to seek for the advises....the feeling is so torturing and driving me crazy badly.....I wonder what should I do for the next step....Thanks God....He gave me courage to ask Pastor Ling about my relationship....he advised me, try not to be too intimate if you still consider there is still a problem among you two....Cos if one day in future, there is no good ending for both of you, time can heal it soon....Actually on the first day of our relationship, I told him already, no intimacy if we are not in marriage....he kept his promise....so do I....yea, a light hug still happen once a while when he is return here, cos we are not perfect...we have desire.....I didn't tell him what pastor told me....just reminded him about our very first promise!...

Well, melancholy is just like a wind, couldn't be seen, but can feel it....Still, I still in bad mood sometime when think about our future....distance, religion~~~~ bla bla bla..........Started thinking, why I started a relationship with him at first? idiot~wonder....

I want to rely on God, cos nobody knows me...................only God knows......

Life of recent

It's been a while that I am away from my blog....

I was so irony with my own decision sometimes....After I chosen pencen, frankly speaking, I was regret with it....Once I think that, I will be teacher for 30 years ....I wonder how could I survive with that.....But, think twice again, if not be teacher, what can I be? Thanks God, he is besides me and help me to analyse the situation, and now, I admit that, teacher will be my life long job for the rest of the years....weeee.............

I always tell him that how I thanks to God as He brings him to my life...Well, I just realised that I like to talk rubbish and not promise....I hurt him two days ago~and I am regret with what I did....

What is the purpose to love? what is the purpose to get married? If we are broken now, I don't think I will be upset...will you? His heart is peeling with the words I uttered.....He is quite sad with what I said....And this is the first time we had such a huge quarrel among us.....Just suddenly wonder why I will get in love?!

How torture it is to him....I wonder why I speak out all of that?! Thanks God, he is still finding time to talk to me nicely....I apologized to him...and promise to myself only, try my best not to hurt him anymore....

God, we are still weak at the elementary stage of our relationship..we still need more understanding among us and seeing the God's plan upon us, just like we are walking in God's plan..Everything is not by us, but by YOU only GOD.....

Ha...no doubt, I have the urge to get married.......to marry with the one I loved, to have the commitment in marriage and promise to each other and to GOD....But....sure, it's not by our plan, always remind myself...pray to God and rely on God to decide it....Let's God lead us in our relationship......

Thank you Lord....

Pencen

Finally I made an important decision today...where I will be pencened for the rest of my life as a teacher...
I felt afraid with that....I will be teacher until 58 years old...how am I going to survive in this long time? Tired and afraid...

Time is coming

The time is coming....he will be home on coming Friday..

How time flies....it is the 5th month we been in the relationship and a month more we are apart after HK trip...yea....I miss him sometimes....I admit....

I planned to introduce him to my parents as he is my first love....never hide him as this is a way of respect to my parents and to his parents too....yea, will meet with his parents too this time....How to describe my feeling for the moment? hmm....no feeling as it's not the time yet....But my mom is quite anxious as this is the first time I bring the guy home....haha....lol...I am anxious too.....=D

This is the first post for the month August....2011 just left the last 5 months....Ha...means that I am getting older...Mom asking me why need to wait for so long time to get married? Mom, I have to ready myself too and so does him too....We need time to ready ourselves for the next stage where the commitment for each other...it's not play play o~...lol....

I wonder, how to get married after just knew for 5 months? The relationship is still fragile and brittle....We need time to masak it...still prefer spaghetti rather then instant mee!

God, how thankful we were as You brought came our life and brought two of us together...
In God, everything is so good!
THANK YOU LORD!

Sex before marriage

I just finished watching a video clip at GOOD TV, entitled '婚前可以性行为吗?' . I have a great urge to blog it out here and this is the very first time I wrote a post about sex. Well, as a Christian, we have to state our stand clearly..SEX IS BARRED BEFORE MARRIAGE!

Sex is the greatest present given by God to a married couple. They enjoy the moment they are intimate, care each other and gave commitment to each other. Having sex before marriage, just like you know what birthday present you are going to have from your partner before birthday..Any more surprise on birthday day? No more...So the same on marriage...No more intimacy, no more commitment after marriage, but left only hatred, guilty and sin....

I was quite surprised and stunned that some of the gals don't care to have sex with the guy who are just in the relationship...They think this is normal and IN....How precious the gal having the virginity...It should be given to the one that we are married with...Enjoy it only after the marriage...Please don't be cheated and be the slave of sex...

I don't think if a partner is loving you and respecting you will request for something that is hurtful and irresponsible...Straight away kick him off if he wanna do that....Break before it is too late....Intimacy among a couple before marriage is good, but just limit it to touching the hand, shoulder or some light hug....Never go to a dark and small space that only two of you in contact without any other besides, it is really playing the blazing fire....Go to public area rather then inside the car....

Frankly speaking, the temptation of sexuality while in a relationship is huge....but, always think of God....and remind myself, never do something that is not honoring GOD and He doesn't like it...Then, any temptation or mind will be gone all in a while...Thanks God....I told my mind freshly while we just started relationship in the earlier stage...Thanks God, he has the same mind with me....=)

In a nutshell,
~Love yourself, then the love will come itself~

Homosexual relationship

Why the man no more loves the lady? why the lady no more loves the man? Homosexual relationship is quite a hot topic nowadays, and seems like it is more and more acceptable nowadays...Do you agree with this kind of relationship?

God created this world and created our ancestors, Adam and Eve...They are in loved and having a relationship that blessed by God...But, homo sapiens changed the law of natural...Male with male and female with female are acceptable, and why not?!

Actually, they should be blessed and loved too, because they couldn't have the normal relationship like other people...they get the love from the same gender, but how come two people with everything is same will attract each other? Even playing magnet we also know that, South will attract with North but combat the South...but why the human, the most intelligent one, did all of these sins?

I'm not despise it, I'm just wondering......

Treasure him

I was in a relationship with him now, the guy that I was regretted not to start at first while I was still young in 7 years ago...God brought him into my life....And....I cherish him as my partner...

Sometime, while I am alone, I will think of him...think of our last conversation on last night, think of the moment we had together, even thought it is short and limited...I still felt miracle that we are in a relationship now...the one, that I never brave to say it out before....

What did we chat every night? sure, first is asking regards How are you today! LOL....Even it is usual and lame, but it's opened our conversation that last for two hours then....Thanks God, for every night, You are the topic among us and we prayed together before we went to sleep....Sure, sometime, we met the bottleneck, what to talk tonight? ha......then we just laugh, laugh and laugh....he always laugh....LOL.....

Now, I can chat and work at the same time....well well...it's pretty fast and pretty alert for just like he is beside me and accompany me with the work...but, I feel like irrespectful to him as he is utterly concentrate in the conversation.......well, guy, your work is done after you are home, but mine is still ongoing even though I was home....ya, he is understand with this....

I called him Uncle Yong and he called me Auntie Qin... -.-!! ...we are old enough huh?! Sometime, we even talk about marriage....Age at this gap, sure will touch about future and marriage...It is so LOL! we even talk about babies..haha.....make me wanna to get married so soon! No no...hold on first.....

Sometime, we talk about our carrier..he is so loving with his work for the moment and planned to back a year after... he always gave me support to be positive thinking in my carrier and don't push myself so hard....tried the best is the key to have fruitful life....work is never end!

We are still on the way to know each other more....And....agree to say that, lady and gentleman are totally different....

And.....
Thanks God...
We are in a relationship now!...=)

Deny

Deny is hurtful, it can destroy people, eating people slowly and without warning...Deny from people besides, especially the one you most cared about, the one you loved most, is the most hurtful...

For the moment, he has his all planning, and wish for just simply a support from me...As his partner sure is just simply support him for his wills and wish...At the same time, we also prayed for his carrier and future to be blessed by God...All in GOD's planning is the most wonderful one! Agree? AGREE!!

He plans to come back here, but after a year...At first, when I heard about his decision, I also shocked and sure, i kept silent...cos this is his carrier...he has his own right to decide...Well....how great is our God...He gave us a chance to discuss about this open-heartedly....I told him frankly about my worries and thinking too.....Yea...another year of waiting is indeed torturing...I don;t know how far could we run...I wonder about our future in a year...this is all make me doubt...Will the feeling fate with the flying of time?

We keep this in our prayer...cos this is only could be ongoing only with God's blessing....Only HIM is able to make everything impossible to be possible...

'As the body without spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead'
James3:24

~Be Still~

Wonder again

I wonder, why people don't tell me my mistakes directly after I did something wrong? I prefer you tell me straight forward rather then let me keep on guessing here and there...It is indeed tiring..ok....

And, please don't say, I am not mad, I am not angry with the case just now, I am alright...but, actually you are mad, you are angry, you are not alright...Haiz...I always made people angry but I still numb...
Alright...I am sorry for what I have done..

I hate meeting

Before I report myself at my school, my mom told me that this school is famous with meeting...ok, I just thought that, every school are same....Alright, nightmare is started...

I hate meeting, especially those long and messy meeting....What is the purpose of a meeting? Meeting is as to make a final conclusion rite....Meeting without any conclusion is a rubbish...Well, this is pretty possible in my school.....

Please la, don't talk rubbish in the meeting...we are tired after one whole day teaching, and still, we need to listen to their long nonsense...

Please make the meeting short and neat and straight to the points....not slow and steady...This is called smart!

Impact

Why teachers like to post their emotions on FB? It is not mature and childish for such kind of behavior.. We blame students for posting something on their wall, using FB to scold or smear teachers, what is the different we did the same thing like them? It is too extravagant and immature...

Why not write it down on a piece of paper or shout it out to friends besides then just forget about it? Once to be teacher, we have to be professional....Students act like what we did...This is the impact of life...

Doubt...for people share everything about their emotions, position, activities, good or bad, they shared everything...why we need to inform people what are we doing now? I don't think they have such interest in this kind of business, except the one you care...

No doubts, FB is the most hot tool to keep in touch with friends all over the world...But, it is not human... it is just like we are talking to hundred of people, but none of them understand you...It is useless and meaningless....Why not find a bosom friend?

Find a proper way to explode, definitely not on FB...It is a big trap of privacy!

Beware~

Be responsible....

Just back from Disciples class tonight as skip the class on Saturday last week. It is such a self regret nite~

I regret, as this is the third chapter that I am not done..
I regret, for not fully use the time given by God..
I regret, for I'm not looking serious on God's work..I have time to complete school's works, but I don't have even an hour to complete the work...It is not about the work , but it is about the heart to Jesus...Am I serious on my religion?

Pastor was disciplined us tonight that we are not sincere in our Disciples class...Then, are we really serious on our religion? Kinda self-blaming now, I have to examine myself more and more...

Be responsible to the promise....

Cherish

Ha.....it is almost came to the face....

Friends uploaded some of the pictures where lets our relationship to come to the face...haha.....I don't have to announce loudly...

More people asking me, when am I going to get married as I was in a relationship now...some even asking who is he? Well, I will tell you frankly if you are asking me....I will never tell lies....

Yet, I will tell you, it is still too early for me to get married... it is still a long time story..and still, I'm not ready yet...I just started my first relationship, which is my last relationship?! oh man..what a beautiful story....but it is some unbelievable! Life with love can never be that easy...Anyway, one and the last, from before until now, is still the whim that playing in my mind...

I wish for more time to be with him, as we are apart now...but God, I more wish we can have more common friends where we have more time and chance to spare the time together, not in the small world of two people, but with a bunch of people! haha....Got partner no friendship?! NOno....this is never be my rule....I want to have both! Don't say I'm selfish, say that, I cherish all of you.....God brought you all to my life...I cherish you as my partner, I cherish you as my friends...I cherish you as my soul mates....

What is life mean? Ha.....no such accurate answer right....
Draw your life with your and his hand and THE HAND OF FATHER IN HEAVEN....
CHERISH YOUR LIFE!

Frankness

He called this morning....I was flinched to deny that I was moody now...Actually the melancholy mood was still haunting me till today...Many and many mishaps still I hoping for answers...he asked am I alright? yea...I'm not okay....So, I uttered out and cried...

Indeed, distance relationship and religious made me frustrated and hard to cheer me up when thinking of some matters....indeed complicated...Again, with God between, we frank to each other...

Still, I was so rush in making decision and wanting a decision in a short time ....and .....dude...the matter is gonna happen in future time..Is it too early to think about this? well, for me it is not early...Gal and boy are different...Gal is slow in passion but boy is fast in passion...Gal will think for a long time for future, but boy will think for the moment, in short time....hmm........God, you are such a creative creator....

I need to gain my faith, in God! God will lead me all the way........Tell myself, if you know how to fall down, you must know how to stand up. Fall down is to throw your weakness and pick up the firm...

Be still~

Screwing myself again?!

People around seems like not encouraging me for my distance relationship...And made me started to ponder, am i making a wrong decision? Arrgghh......screwing myself again...Mood is kinda down this afternoon....after had a long chat with a friend at church...

I always been affected by the points of view of friends around....Their opinions once or twice will affect my emotion and decision....I'm also tired with that and tell myself, their opinions are just as reference, it is not symbolizing your case...I know...

Really, so far, I think it's not a big problem to have a distance relationship....yea, maybe is just because we are just started for a short time, and not yet see the root of the problems....But, why always people show their weird looks when they knew about this news...Just like, Are you sure with that? There is seldom good ending for distance relationship...oh man, I will feel badly about this la....Oh gosh!! Can someone please just tell me, just go ahead, I give you support..Mom gave me the greatest support as I uttered to her...She is my greatest supporter...Thank you Mom..What i need is just simply a support....

A friend telling me that, you are so silly-sally...always wants to change at the last minute....I know about my this bad habit....I can't really stick to my last decision.. will change anytime, any moment, any circumstance....This made people around, even him tired....Now, I even think to end it! No NO No...it is stupid!...Be patient...

Well, what is the major problem in distance relationship? ha....one of it is we are not side by side.. When I need him, he is not around... But thanks God, You are still there...
I'm really easily get moody....hormone problems....maybe....

Richness..

Found out that most of my friends didn't update their blog....yea...maybe they are too busy with daily life...What made me so persisting in blogging? Ha...not really sure about it, I just know that, I like to blog here...to write about my mood, daily life, recent incidents, to mark the history of my life....Now, maybe the history of two people....ha.........Ｉ　just hope that I can continue to persist something that I had started, not　give up halfway...

Oh....I'm so hectic and rush to finish marking all the exam papers before I go to vacation....as once I back here, is the day of school reopen day! mamamia!!! kinda rush!....why you still have time to blog here? Well...writing a post is just few minutes time........short and neat!

Guy, how are you there? yea...I miss you sometime, how I wish you are beside me sometimes.....Well, I thought I could bare the long distance, however, I'm overestimate myself....It's just this period of time...in day long, I don't think I will have this feeling anymore...

As a partner, it is not to keep him or her always besides ourselves, but to support every of his decisions, support his wills and dreams, as long as it is not contradict with the study of Bible....No short cut for intimacy, but only manage....I am cozy with our current position, seems far far away, but not really far, as God are within us...

God, You are the only one who is able to comfort our hearts....the lonely hearts....Thanks for gave us so much cares and loves....We are so rich now.....

Treasure your life

Went to visit her today, she is so weak and not able to talk or sit...

Indescribable feeling while went to visit her...my last memory about her is she is so energetic, but now, she is lying on the bed with bald hair....

Pastor and us prayed for her...She cried....we cried....her mom cried.....We couldn't ask, as there is no answer for our questions...

Who is able to comfort her? Nobody, but only God....

Lord, please lessen her pain, she feels painful and painful....

May God bless you abundantly...

Treasure your life, as we don't know what might happen in the next second...it is a miracle that we are still alive today, what are we still grumble for? Some don't even have a choice for their own life, what we still grumble, envy and angry with?!

Looks on what is with you now, not the one that is not with you now....It is a sin if you don't know appreciate....

Be strong...

Bad news again heard about her...Her condition is critical now and she might die anytime...
She is my ex-uni mate and cell group friend who is so happy go lucky and energetic, but now she was lying on the bed....Chemo and cancer afflicted her like hell...Yet, heard from pastor, she is brave in facing death...even pain made her lose hope....

Lord, we are none at all who can give her hope, only You are able to give her hope....She need it and God, please help her to have miracle...miracle happen in Your Hand...Father, we cry for help and Your Mercy on her....She needs you desperately....

Life indeed full with many uncertainties....we don't know when will be our last moment....Live in the moment and lying on GOD, to have hope in our life.....He is the only one supplier to us....

Please help her Lord....

Be strong gal......

Give and take...

Love is about what we can give for someone, and not about what we can get from someone...

Distance relationship is torturing, but, gal, have faith from God...He will lead you...don't worry too much...Follow what He wants you two to go....

When two is better then one, two people are gaining from each other...gain the patient, gain the love, gain the faith....

Will you practice all of these with me?

I will try my best....

Credence

Glory and thanks to God, for He gains me a credence from other.....

A gal, share her story with me, in school...I'm not going to write everything in detail about hers. Only one thing I want to sum up here.....Gals, we should love ourselves more~

Love yourself, then other will love you more....This is not selfish we says, this is wisdom way to express our love to other....In a relationship doesn't mean that you can give all things, including your body to him.... .

I kept on asking myself that day...What made this gal so faithful with that man? Why involve sex in a relationship? The holiness of sex is given by God, blessed by God and can only ON after marriage! Don't be stupid with guys' wheedle..A guy will never ask for more, if he really loves you....

Gal, sober up! Don't dig yourself a hole and jump into it....you will ruin your whole life with your own hand and desire....Pregnancy is not a piece of cake ok.....Are you ready for that? Are you able to take care of the baby at the same time you are not able to take care of yourself! Stop to scribble the beautiful picture, as only you admire the beautiful picture, none of us is admiring it!

Man, you are adult enough...Stay away from this naive gal....what she wants is not what you want, you are not able to give her what she wants...frankly speaking!

God, please give wisdom to this naive gal....Tell her what is the essence of love and the holiness of sex...and to myself, let me to have wisdom too to follow up with her case....I wish I could help her, to bring her to God...

May God bless you abundantly, gal....
Jesus loves you!

Life of recent

It's holiday today...but I can't any holiday mood...none at all....works are piling up, table and rooms are so messy......I gonna drag my pity foots to work on it again...

I was so desperated yesterday....Choir in school is driving me crazy.....Senior students ran away just they don't want to stay back due to exam reason, but please, there is no schooling today...why don't come and help me just for half an hour or any minutes as u like....I will be very touched with that...but now, I was kinda sigh with that...Alright, regulate myself...Happy with that, they are hardworking students...=)

Well..life of recent, is just like sitting on roller coaster, ups and downs....when the ups gone, downs are queuing up, and my eyes, my limbs, my spirit, all are just like Pinocchio, numb and numb........And, I really felt that I'm a hot chili, I even start to scold some senior teachers in school....Wa................finding hell..............sure he is a guy la....don't care much about that, and he knows he is doing something not suitable too.......hhahaa......if he scold me back, what should I do? doubt......lol

Crapping with a fren, she is so wanted to have holidays, the real holidays please like me too.....hahaha....counting down the day to Hong Kong and the day to meet with him....lol...

HOLIDAY! I WANT TO HUGE YOU！！！PLEASE COME BABE~

Final decision

Yea....I had made up my final decision....ha....it took such a long time to make this decision....

We talk for a whole night and sure, I gave a chance for both of us to have a start...I don't know how far and how long we will go through, but at least I know, I treasure this man now and he made me felt much protected and pampered....Like a friend saying that, Catholic or Methodist is not a matter, the matter is who do we believe in? We believe in God, the only GOD...

I never think that I will meet with him again and now we were in a relationship?! whao....if not God, who brings us together? In olden time, I missed him....as so passive last time...ha....still passive now, as he always said like that....alright....

We pray together last night and gave all the glory and happiness to God as He gave us all of these blessing.... He is holding our hands together, even though we were apart now...Ain't by feeling, ain't by sight, but by faith....

When he is holding my hand, I really feel keyed up...ha....fall in love is such kind of feeling huh.....Alright....

We are started after 10 months...yea, I dragged him for 10 months....Thanks guy, for your patient....I hope I can learn to love other more, as I have been singled for quite a long time....There's still lots of things to learn in a relationship...Now is not a matter alone, it's a matter of two people....sure, I also prayed to God that, If we ain't the right one for each other, please pull us far far away, with no anger, but only peace..and be ready for the right one...

God, thanks for bringing him to my life....I hope we are walking in all Your wills and following Your pathway...yea...do hope that I am able to practice all the love You gave me...

The Essence Of Love
" Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. "
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

I sent him these scriptures after the prayer meeting....
Still...
Faith, Hope, and Love,
The greatest of these is Love....

hmm.....doubt...

Dear Lord,

Yea, I’m in a relationship now, and I was full with doubts now actually..I really wonder am I making the right decision for both of us…I m still wonder am I really like him or just want to taste the feeling of in a relationship….the so called I’m no longer available…

Before I go to meet him, I was struggling in the prayer convention.. I kept praying, for Holy Spirit and God to tell me, what I should do later on, as I know this is the nite that I’m going to make the decision, an important decision. On the spot, the preaching of Pastor James Shia touching me with the same scripture again, ‘Do not afraid..continue to move on..Don’t just asking, try to pause and listen to what spirit is gonna tell you…’Alright, I prayed…

He came to fetch me after the prayer convention, it’s Saturday nite…I gave him a book, entitled ‘ When Boy meets Girl’ by Joshua Harries. I want him to finish reading this book first before we have any next movement. What surprised me, he only left the last chapter to be finished. After we had a long chat, sure in open air area, he asked me what our present mode is. I replied him, it’s still complicated…he seems disappointed with my answer, but at that moment, my heart telling me that, you should give him a positive answer, the answer that you want to let him know two months ago…. Please don’t drag him anymore…yea…..he is still the same, saying that he will give me more time, if I’m still not ready yet…Oh man…he is backward again…he wants to give me more time…I was quite tired in all of these in guessing my own feeling, the some sort of grey area…it’s quite tiring….We silent for a while…it is so quiet as we are on our way back home….chillll…..I took the deep breath, and told him…alright, my answer is I accept you…Oh man! I said it out! I still wonder how I will say it out! He hold my hand and said, I will never let go this hand….and I was surprisingly excited! is this what called fall in love? This is the starting of my first love at the age of 26…=)

However, we went to the Methodist Prayer Convention yesterday afternoon. While I was praying, terror suddenly haunted me…and I wonder why I have this kind of feeling…it’s the first day we hitched together as companion. I did enjoy at first, but after the prayer, horror haunted me until now….he is a Catholic, but I’m Methodist, religion is the main reason why I felt like that…

I wish we could talk more about Jesus and not about us….

I wish we could praise the Lord together, but he seems not interested…

I wish we could pray for the same things, but seems everything is just by words…

I suddenly felt insecure….and doubts…….

Is this the first love that I’m going to have?

Is this the first love that Lord wants me to have?

Is it the right time I start the relationship?

Choir

Singing is not a piece of cake....

I'm the judge for the singing competition in my school yesterday afternoon...Well, my conclusion after the competition is, singing is tough! All singers, solute with you! Most of the students were out of beat, slow or too fast....but, I admire with their brave! Even they knew their voice is not to the level, but they still adhere to the last minute....None of them was escape in the halfway.... Thumb up!

I'm the teacher of choir club this year, maybe the rest of the years, I will be too.....sweat....Well, I don't know how to teach, just follow what am I learning while joining choir during uni time...Now, how I appreciate what I learn before, even it is quite limited....at least, I still can lead them to sing using 丹田 and not throat....lol...

yea, I'm going to join choir in church in coming May。。。this is my promise to Jesus, to myself and to my students....They are under my area, so, I have the responsibility to teach them, non the less....but at least......

I will try my best.....May God leads me....Choir is hard, cos all students are still freshmen in school...their voice is just like a kid....haha.....but, everything is wonderful with God's guidance...He is with me...no matter where I am....Do as to glorify His name....

Thanks Jesus...I felt so protected。。。=)

Pondering

It is kinda high the blogging mood tonight.....=)

Life is damn hectic lately...and I'm damn dislike it! Rushing here and there, doing nothing but clumsy...Alright, stop grumble...as grumble is nonsense....Sometime I will express out my bad mood on FB...well, it is kind less nowadays...as it is extravagant ...I prefer to blog here, as here is my private space and a space to myself and Lord only....well, it is your pleasure to leave any comment here....

I heard some rumor about someone today...It is kinda terrible and changed my comments about him...he is a person with the high position in school, but he is not eligible with this position and his reputation...k....maybe I shouldn't judge him via such a way, but it is really storming I!...
Lord, You created not a kind of people, but You created lots of people with different kinds of characters...You are indeed amazing....Every of Your creation is the best and the best, but, people choose to destroy themselves, just for desire, just for themselves...Me either also the same as well.. Keep on remind myself to look at what is in my hand now, the one that I'm holding now!

How time flies.....May is coming....I think this period of time is the most suffer time that I never had since started working...even teaching is not that nasty...

And, a limit of two months of time are going to end soon, 10 days left before the due date.....I'm going to make an important decision on that day, a day I wish to be guided by Lord, for Him to bring me in His pathway, all the way along in making the decision....Lord, please open my eyes and open my heart for what You want me know and follow, I'm tee-totally willing to follow You, as You are my Father... Horror and wondering might driving me crazy sometime, but Lord, You always comes to me at the right time...as You know all about me...Thanks Lord...

Thanks God to bring him to my life...he will say the last word to me every night no matter how tired he was after back from work....but, I always slept first before say the last word to him....yea, shy shy me.....you are grabbing my heart, little by little...dude...No matter how it is, I will make a decision on that day, and I hope I won't dragging you anymore or make you perturbed every time...

May God guides us....Thanks Lord... In the name of Jesus, we prayed, Amen....

Election

It's the time...It is a voting day tomorro...VOTE vote Vote! Sigh.....I just registered this year and my vote takes 3 months to be valid...so, reserve my vote for nation election.

It's time to change, to tell the nation, is time to change! We are marching in the same path for n years already...please change!

They are just like the greatest celebrities, doing all good things at this peak hour, show their faces at this hour...I just knew that, who and who are our ex-representative..ha...so sarcastic....please la....action talks more than words ok....don't pretend yourself anymore!

Wish to hear a good news tonite...and God, please secure the election undergoing fairly and no cheating....in the name of Jesus, Amen...

I love Friday~

I love Friday....
I can shut down myself for that nite...
I can go to fellowship...
I can have my own time to do my favorite thing...
I don't have rush with time...
I can roll on my bed here and there....
I can watch tv show...

I love Friday......
It's my brain off nite......
=)

Don't cry...

It's Hari Permuafakatan for our school today...It's April and I'm here, to be the genuine teacher for the 2nd year...It is quite upset for everything happen today....

A mother of a kid met with the form teacher with some subject teachers....She is so frustrated after listen to the comments from the teachers....And scolding her that, you are a lousy teacher as you don't know how to teach my kid and my kid don't even understand what are you teaching there and that's why she is not performed well.....

Sigh...Dear mother, please don't blame us.....We are not the major factor in this case....Have a look on your child.....Is she serious in her study? Are you escaping your responsibility in this case? Shall we have a look on the root of this problem first before you are frustrating......The teacher cried on the spot....

Yea...it is indeed a hurting blame on us...We taught them with our greatest effort, just for them, purposely for them, only for them....But, why you seems like deny our efforts? It is hurting words to us....Even though I'm not the teacher, yet, standing on her post and think on her position, I wonder could I still be smart?~...doubt....

I know every parents is anxious with their child's education, but please, stand at the first position first, think for other, not only your child...we are human too, ain't the Almighty God....

It is hard to say thank you....but it is easy to pierce the heart....

Don't cry teacher, you have done your very best....=)

Tired

It's kinda tired tonight, both physically and mentally...

Wish for a time belong to myself, where I can do everything that I like, no need rush with time....A time just belong to myself...

I don't want be the slave of something...

Is time to rethink about it.....

Glory to the Lord...

I would like to say, it's my travel folie this year!

I will be going to Hong Kong in coming June... ha...it will be a great expenses there....shopping again....

Then, I will be going to Kota Kinabalu in coming September to conquer the mountain...payment is done...

Then, I will be going to Bangkok in coming November...to watch aqua show...hahaha

Then, planning to join mission trip to Cambodia in December....

Oh no! I'm going to bankrupt! This year is kinda poor and no money!

Well.......this is just a worry for a second....Our God is so great...He knows what do we need and always give us the best and the best to us at the right timing....

Yea...travel soap up lots of money.....so, I have to train myself to limit my expenses start from this month...ha....just started after a year, kinda late...but still better then none, right! After exchange some ideas with a friend, I decided to open another account which is only and the only for saving money, only input and no output! And, limit my shopping spree...only once a month and only buy necessary things.......so surprising, I could control myself not to buy too much while doing shopping in last Friday.... a big clap to myself!

And, I would like to say THANK YOU LORD!　I'm so blessed! He knows that I was running out of money, so, He brings an angel towards me, and bring me a part time job at MPI....It is really a great attempt and I can earn some pocket money at the same time....well, it is quite tired, as I have to go directly from school....Anyway, it is a good try and give me another new experience where teaching all the adolescences is pretty different with teaching the kids....haha.....I just like a warrior in the war... armed myself with all the 'weapons' and shot at the right time...haha....

Well, occupied my time with all the tasks, then I have no time to go shopping! phewit!

Yea...never try never know....don't limit yourself with the limit time.....Everything is possible as we have Almighty God as our refuge, as our Father.....He always gave us the best, but we gave us our remaining.....sigh...have to practice ourselves to put Him at the first place...

God, thanks again and all the glories to be yours! Thanks be so lovely to me...and thanks for bringing him forwards......Never step out, never know....I prayed, and sure God You will do the rest....Let's everything be ongoing as Your planning....