Nothing is easy.

I love doing criminal cases.Or at least I thought I do.But practising in real life is NOT the same as chambering,not even an iota of similarity...which is the most important fact that I keep forgetting.

A week in this practice,being the only lady junior LA (so far) finding her way in this mean world of criminal in Klang valley really reminds me of why Mr.R said 'this line of work is not meant for you'. But I'm blessed to have such supporting guidance from my old firms, and my current boss.Alhamdulillah.

What hurts the most is the different treatment from everyone,right from the interpreter to the DPP. MALE lawyers get their job done the way they wanted it to be!

I'll win them all 1 day.1 person at a time.And 1 day at a time.The journey is so so so far away, this is just the beginning.

Until then...."If you fuel your journey on the opinions of others, you are going to run out of gas"- Steve Maraboli.

My 25th January!

Going to start working tomorrow, like my 1st ever job!*FreakingScaryNervous* The title is Legal Assistant and the law firm is Mishant & Co, so today I'll post some pictures of people who I'll definitely miss so much as they've been part of my life for the last 1 year. Don't know what to expect tomorrow, InsyaAllah everything going to be fine BUT I still counting days to this weekend!LOL.

Pupillage would never be that awesome without them, and of course other lawyers and staffs of SBR & Co but these people I spent most of my time with.

Us at Selangor Bar dinner, Rox, Sarah & yours truly.

With Emilyn, who happened to be my good friend Cva's good friend in High School.What a small world!

My Master (then) Mr.Ravi who until today keep asking me to join judiciary. We'll see sir how it goes with practice world first.

Ok, need to hit the sack now.Tomorrow going to be an early day!Wish me all the best people :)

Au revoir 2012.

I've had a fair share of happiness and not so happy events throughout 2012, yet I failed to complete my main resolution therefore I'll strive to do it this year;that is to finish reading the translation of Al-Quran. Been reading without any understanding can be quite sad no? Will work hard for it, pray that this year I will be a better Muslimah and person in whole. Most importantly 2013 is the year I want to work my a** off as a career young woman and make my family especially my parents proud of me! I hope they know their investment is about to paid off,InsyaAllah.

This year I completed my pupilage at a great firm where I found friends for life, mentor and most importantly an extended family I know I can always rely on if I ever need help and guidance in this harsh mean legal field. I will always thankful to Seah Balan Ravi & Co for everything, and the latest is to recommend me to a great firm.Hopefully I can learn more and improve myself from now on, and 2012 saw me took up marathon thanks to my dear Master,Mr.Ravi who is a running addict.I will continue joining all this mini marathon during weekends with them,and the target is half marathon in 2 years and full marathon (42km) before I turn 30 years old.I was called to the Bar as an Advocate & Solicitor of High Court Malaya on 30th November 2012, the best part I was called on the same day as my learned friend who went through ups and downs of chambering life with me,without her support,words of advice and encouragement and friendship I'll be so alone starting my life after University phase without the faces I'm familiar with. Thanks alot Roxanne!And before that we had our convocation on the 8th of October after a long year awaiting for it.Another big day shared with my lovely classmates, on that day all hatches have been buried(I hope) and all those who had issues with anyone act their age and just smile to each other because we know we wont meet them anymore after this.Not purposely lah, if terserempak,again wear those smiles and be nice.Life is short so wish people well and be happy with your life.Simple right?

I'm happy for 2 of my good friends who got hitched after 8 years of relationship,they deserved all the happiness in this world.They stay by each other's side through good and bad times, and another 2 bestfriends got engaged and guess what am I again?Yes 1 of the bridesmaids and also this time naik pangkat as maid of honour!Others' love story journey make me happy,wish them all the best until jannah.Amin.My sister got promoted,I'm so happy for her 1st property purchase and 2nd car all I pray now is for her to have a better life and maybe a wedding bell soon? And my little brother all grown up and this year saw us growing into a bit of civilized people, we screamed at each other a little less now and he actually comes to me everytime he had any question or problem, I only hope he'll respect my parents more, and my parents are happy as we just moved to our new home (more like their dream house) and since both are retiring soon I just hope they'll remain happy as they always are and its high time for us children to shower them with not just love but things that we can afford now.

I thought I'm done with making new friends and should only appreciate those I have in my life for so long but guess what life surprised me again by sending me more nice great people as friends. They come from different background, so many looks and age, and at different occasions but each and every one of them is a bless in disguise. Sometimes I don't feel like I have such a small family because life is indeed a better place with my extended family called friends,love them so much and hope we'll continue to be friends forever.InsyaAllah. I found good friends in some of my University mates as well, if before we just say hi-bye but now we are each other support system going through pupilage, vacation, personal problem,etc.

It is indeed a productive year for this contest addict as well, as I convert Rox into one as well.hahaha.Although Im still the big spender but at least I learn the art of saving, this shall continue in 2013 as well.

The car accident that I was involved on the 1st June shall be my worst memory of 2012, but I thank Allah for that sign and opportunity for me to be a better person.

In all I love my 2012, I hope 2013 will be better year!HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OUT THERE :)

I'm a sloth.

Been in a sabbatical unintentionally, geez feel like ages since the last time I log in here. Its been so long that I almost forgot what is my password, and I actually took few minutes to scroll and find which button should I click to post a new entry. Seriously!I miss the feeling of wanting to write something, posting pictures and put up all my recent exciting updates because the truth is there were so many things happened in between posts. For starter I am no more a pupil of SBR & Co, the unmotivated jobless who is counting the last 3 days before my call. Catch up soon, I promise! So much to write so I need to list down first before I forgot all of them and become sloth lazy all over again. Hey check out the invitation card for my call,courtesy of Nadea.

Different feeling of Raya.

There's a fang of loneliness in my heart as its nearing Aidilfitri this year, and that tiny little space is as empty as the roads in my 'kampungs' Shah Alam and KL. I settled my Raya shopping only 1 day before THE day, that itself proved the level of unexcited-ness I have now compared to how I used to be for the past 23 years. I had amazing Ramadhan though, hope He will accept all our deeds,doas and ibadah performed in that month. Amin.

Yes, I'm always the happiest girl when it comes to Raya. I know the fact my family is small, I don't have kampungs nor dozens of cousins and saudara-mara like my friends' do but at 24 I start to envy them. I'm the happiest just being with my small chaos loud crazy loving family and awesome circle of friends but somehow there's a need to have more.

I don't know what is THAT extra more I'm yearning for but I know I need THAT.

Nevertheless, I'm grateful to have what I have and to be where I am with who I am now and all thanks to Him and all His blessings.

I would like to wish all Muslims around the world and all Malaysian a happy SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, maaf zahir batin.

1 of the little things that I do before Raya:)

p/s: Please be safe on the road and eat modestly, do keep that duit raya coming in coz Kak Cheda ain't giving any this year since the law itself states a chambering student has no salary but we are only given allowance so kids try again next year ok? hehehe.

Ms. Super Picky.

Rox and Sarah are the latest to join the rest of my friends who think omg-cheda-you-are-super damn picky-about food-I-never-met-someone as gila and choosy-as-you are!

To be honest I get that a lot, my sister and I definitely get that from Ayah because he's very very particular about what he eats and how he wants his foods to be.

Some even said I'm the fat girl who eat the less they ever known in their life. I don't eat much or lavishly but when I love something I stick to the same thing forever, like seriously FOREVER and keep ordering the same thing and never that kind who likes to try new stuff.

I personally think I'm completely normal. But hey which gila people think he/she is gila?hahaha.

Well this entry is obviously about food, going to share my Iftar sessions with them this year:)

Delicious with the babes:)

Buka puasa with the whole Mix.Fm gang, happy to meet JD & Dilly again. Brought Rox because she managed to fast for the 1st time this year, for 2 full weeks.Not bad huh? :) We had a great night indeed.

Kenny Rogers with the girls and Damai-ians, I've tried mac and cheese for the 1st time in my life and I LOVE IT!Now my 3 side dishes no more only mash potatoes,hehe.

Chilis with The Shrekkians, would be lovely if ALL can join though :')

*Rasa lapar tak?*

Not now.

One question been asked frequently to me lately is ‘what are you going to do after this (end of pupilage) and most of the time even before I open my mouth to give my answer they will decide on behalf of me and said “kahwin je lah,senang”. Senang? Seriously? What are these people thinking about, do they think marriage is benda main-main? It takes more hardwork (physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, etc) to maintain a marriage rather than building a career now days.

My own master (Mr.R), my mother, few lawyers, friends, staffs in SBR & Co (esp our LA, Mr.K and our manager; Mr.C) all of them think that I’m the married type and chase me to get married by next year. How come? As far as I remember I never portrayed myself as one. But still they think by 25 years old one should settled down and start producing children before good timing passed by (LAME!I know right). Do you notice the word SHOULD there? Yes, they don’t really care about what YOU WANT, and where your happiness lies but what the SOCIETY WANTS and what they think ought to be done at certain phase in our life as a girl/woman.

The reason I give them each time is ‘mana ada duit, kena kerja dulu’ when the fact is I just don’t think about marriage yet but since it’s hard to explain to them of why I don’t want to get married therefore I give them the answer that they rather hear plus it’s a common problem by young adult like us who struggling to make end for a brighter and secured future. And there come a reply of, “Why would you have to think about all that, you don’t need money, the guy must provide everything.”  Again, SERIOUSLY? I can’t believe this! Especially when it’s coming from well respected educated people but we can’t really blame them because most of Malaysian still follow the conventional school of thought. Even Rox thinks I should get married before her (when the fact is she’s been with Will for 3 years now) because....wait for it, she thinks Malay all get married early (WTH?!). And there come my reply, “I aint Malay” much to her annoyance.LOL.

You see it’s easy to say or plan your future when you can find/already have a partner who is 3-5 years older who has great career, financially stable, own a house and car, etc but don’t rub on someone’s face when they are not as lucky as you are. Some of my friends even getting married soon to guys who afford to ask their future wife not to continue working post marriage but still in these modern days I strongly feel and believe women must/need to have their own security when it comes to money.

Right now I just hope and pray that my elder sister will get married soon, live happily ever after and make my parents happy. At least that’s my plan for now so that they won’t focus on me too soon. To all out there who is getting married soon, I wish you all the happiness till the end of your life. Amin.

I know He has somewhat awesome plan for me, so for now let love make way to me rather than I go find for it when I know I’m not ready for a commitment just yet...it won’t be fair for other people.

I miss writing!

I hate to see the condition of my blog, it looks like a haunted place since it has been abandoned for moons already. I have so many things (like crazy many!) to share and write but all of them are stuck in my head with 1001 other things that come with the title as a pupil I’m living with for the last 7 months. In between office, courts, here and there I find myself rather settled on my comfy bed at the end of the day rather than facing my laptop. It’s so tiring you know, not just for my eyes (facing the PC, damn thick books and cases) but emotionally tired as well because never had I have to work for straight 9 months without any leaves (exception to weekends, public holidays because all that flew in a blink).

Now days, life is no more about rainbow and butterflies, adult life is very dull and sad. Given any chance I prefer my student’s life over anything else. I’m willing to continue my studies until the highest level but at this age everything comes with responsibility and it’s about time for a 24 years old to give back to the people that matters the most to us, our parents and family.  Yes I love the fact that I’m chasing my dream (the one that I had since I was 7 although back then I don’t even know what a lawyer does) and am this close to be a litigator myself by its not the profession that suck but the life as a litigator is....Basically there’s no life for us (litigators) at least for the first 10 years of us trying to build your career or set up our own firm (InsyaAllah). 

In short I have so much respect for those who can juggle their career and personal life wonderfully at this stage regardless what lines are they in, I have few friends getting engaged and married end of this year and early next year. This left me wondering, why can’t I be like them or positively I like to believe Allah is waiting for the right time to put all the pieces in its places.

Going to end this entry with some mouth watering pictures from our iftar!

Dinner with Shrekians at Chilis while cheering for LCW!Lovely moment after months:)

I miss my coffee badly this Ramadhan!

Cheers to me for another day without rice this month!

Live Your Life ,for real!

Beautiful uplifting words,beautiful amazing voice & song,beautiful nostalgic-ish video:) June has been rough for me so far,no more bad days I hope ♥ InsyaAllah.

♥

THIS IS SO DAMN SWEET ♥

Saving forever.

 Glee - Saving All My Love for You

It's not very easy, living alone
My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own
But each time I try, I just break down and cry
Cause I'd rather be home feeling blue So I'm saving all my love for you 

Deep shit.

Once in a while if we finished our hearing early, Mr.K will take me for a quick bite before heading back to office. 1 day while having our brunch he asked me what book am I currently reading and I said he doesn’t want to know because I read chick flick novels and not those serious materials like other my age would read. Then he told me he’s reading ‘God’s Dilemma’, because he is in search what is and who the real God is. He said he keep looking for the answer of what is the purpose of him being born, why does God wants him to be on this earth, why is he doing and not that, why would people want to get married when at the end of the day we will end up die alone, and etc. Further he questioned, if God is fair and great why are some people are rich and some can’t even afford to have propel meal once a day? Why are there people born with disabilities? Why are people fighting and wars taking place all around the world? Why must people think their religion is better than the other? Why the society judge people according to who does the most deeds publicly? Why this and why that?

I can’t even freaking enjoy my capati that day. Somehow when he raised this issue, he pretty much reminds me to Dr.MZ (coincidently he knows Dr.MZ because he was a visiting lecturer for his class in UM few years back) lol.what a small world since now Miss Sik is his Master class lecturer for IP. Ok back to the story...

For a second there I thought we were having a clash of minds (debate would sounds so exaggerate since we were at a Mamak restaurant,haha) comparing all the religions and stuffs beyond our imagination and most of the time my answers or the way I reciprocated sounds like as if I know what am I doing in this world but the truth is I just want to balance the conversation by being the positive party here and I told him, ‘I ain’t no the perfect Muslim but I never stop learning, you tend to over thinking about things K(since he asked me to stop calling him Mr.K kononnya nampak tua since he’s just 29y.o), for me as long as I’m happy doing what am I doing, happy with the way I am surrounded by the people I love I won’t wasting time thinking about things which we can never find the perfect and certain answer because I’m that kind of person the more I think about these kind of things I will start to question my faith and I don’t like it’.

Then I asked him,’ Why do you go to temple, pray, and go to those talks about Hindu, etc but at the end of the day you still don’t have the peacefulness of mind that you should get?’ He replied, ‘Because I have to, we were told to do that since were kids so we grow up thinking that’s the right thing to do but I’m a deep shit because I still can’t find the answer what am I doing here. And before leaving I said,’ That’s the difference between us, yes I was taught by my parents to love and obey my religion and God but whatever I’m doing for Islam now is because I want to not because I have too and I believe that is why I am happy.’

In the car otw back, the whole journey he still talking about it but I trying hard not to take it seriously and again and again he reminds me ‘You better don’t start to over thinking like I do, because I don’t need another person to join me in this deep shit’. I was just laughing and said, ‘No, I won’t’.

Have some faith will you?

I am a proud labour! :)

When I was 16 I thought by 25 I will have everything, like seriously EVERYTHING such as a great career, a cool ride maybe a sport car or superbike, a beautiful house to live with my parents, but here I am 23 years old and reality is all of that dreams seems are still far away to be fulfilled. This year's labour day was my 1st as employee, although being a pupil is not considered as 'real work' but I do what other with REAL work does such as wakes up early, hating every ondays and counting days for Friday, go through the horrible traffic jam, the workload and stress, scolded by lawyers or clients, running here and there, chasing due date for works given, doing case research, etc so I can proudly say I work hard to earn my allowance. I believe I started to appreciate the value of money a bit more compare to the time when I was just a student getting allowance from my dad. But I also love spending them for people I love because its not worth the happiness earning so much if they are not with me to share it. On that note to all working class heroes out there, have a relax day and enjoy your day. Take care and until next working day, wee-hoo!

Sweet reminders.