For ME

I hope you all know that this blog is mostly for myself. I used to write in a journal with an actual pen. So sometimes on here I'll get emotional and vent about something. Like the last post. It is therapeutic for me. It's like I can convince myself more of things when I put it down in writing.

Last week I decided to try the Slim*Fast shakes. I have been really busy and find the task of planning 3 Healthy meals and snacks tiring and overwhelming. I just didn't want to think about it anymore! I'm usually running out the door in the mornings, eating in my car, going from school to work to school again... Mondays and Wednesdays have been the hardest. This has been my schedule lately. 9-11:30 I am tutoring two students in Reading. 12-4 I am working. 4:35-7:05 I am in class. So there's no time to get anything to eat, I have to have it all ready, or I'll result to fast food or not eating at all. Which both make me feel like crap.

I actually enjoy the taste of the shakes. And the meal bars. The shakes I like better. It's so fast and convenient when I am running out the door. They have about 200 calories, protein and fiber so it keeps me full for a couple of hours until I can eat some fruit or nuts as a snack. I put one in the freezer for a bit and it was delightful! Just a little bit icey. The only kind I have tried is the Chocolate Royal.

I usually don't like "fake" stuff, at least I try to avoid it. But it's not every meal, and I don't eat the snack bars, just have some fruit, nuts, FF popcorn,etc. so I don't feel so bad. It's actually making me more regular. (I know you all care about that) haha. But it makes me feel good.

Okay folks I am at 154 lbs. today.

Here's the deal. I can't afford WW meetings anymore. So I didn't go last week and gained a little back. I am really stressed with money. I only got 15 hours in 2 weeks when they cut back hours and that just doesn't pay the rent. So I gained. But I am down to 154. I feel like I have been here so many times. If I can just beat that 154 this week I will feel great.

I am moving in with my sister Jen end of August when my lease is up so I hope that will help with my stress. I am excited to live with her! I lived with Marissa, now it's Jen's turn. :) My family takes such good care of me.

My celebration today is that I REALLY wanted pancakes and sausage last night at midnight and DIDN'T make them! Thanks Brandon for the encouragement.

Here's to a great busy week!

Wednesday... well Thursday morning now...*groan*

So I'm still awake even though I was exhausted when I got home at 9:30 tonight. I helped Brandon with a flat tire this morning, rushed to tutoring at 9:30 til 11:30, rushed to work to be there at 12, worked til 4 and then rushed to the U to be there for my 4:35-7:35 class.

And I haven't been eating good. So I'm tired and grumpy and really mad at myself for staying up late and eating bad this week. Plus I haven't felt good this week. I didn't plan at all. Ugh. I NEED TO PLAN. Seriously just do it Amber. Stop being lazy.

So I'm nervous I gained this week. I don't weigh for a few days when I think I've been bad because I don't want to know. So I am not sure of the damage yet.

Tomorrow I am going to plan. And I am going to run. It doesn't matter what happened today. I still have control over tomorrow.

I still have control over tomorrow. And I have control over going to bed now so I can get good sleep. Good night.

I made it through a Wedding...

...and still lost .8 lbs!!
Down to 155. 2. Of course I wish I was at goal right now but at the same time I'm okay with it. I haven't been stressed about it because I set a reasonable goal, a pound a week. I'm feeling really good!

My goal this week is to get on track with my running training plan and write down what I eat.

Friday Review - Yogurt Creamies

Hey y'all! If you haven't tried Yogurt Creamies you should!
There are 3 flavors Chocolate, Raspberry and Peach.
Only 105 calories each and 1.2 grams of fat. That's 2 Weight Watchers points.
They are really yummy! I have only tried the raspberry and chocolate.
A Perfect summer treat to satisfy your sweet tooth.
Convenient.
Fast.
Delicious.
On sale at a Fresh Market and Smith's.
Sold by each flavor separately but can get a big multipack at Costco with all 3 flavors.
What more can I say? I love 'em.

Self Control

Okay folks, I know some of you were interested in running the 5k with me so get on it!! :) See the previous post for instructions. Signing up is good motivation to start training.

Last night I saw my boyfriend Brandon's show he's doing. Afterwards we hung out with some friends and there were donuts and brownies and ice cream. I had already had a spoonful or two of funfetti canned icing earlier, since I was feeling down (stupid I know, it wasn't even that good) so I didn't even have one bite of treats. I couldn't believe it! This morning I weighed in at 155 something so I have lost a bit since Friday's weigh in. That's after a rehearsal dinner and wedding! I am really proud of myself.

I threw away the stupid frosting when I got home. I wasn't going to use it for anything and it was just tempting anyways.

Hope everyone's week is going well.

5 k Run in September- Wanna Join My Team?

To join my team for the American Heart Association 5k Walk/Run on September 18th click HERE. There are still 13 weeks before the race, plenty of time to train!

Check out these sites for running plans!
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
http://www.c25k.com/ There's a lot of different running tools at the bottom of the page.
http://www.fromcouchto5k.com/articles/training/the-couch-to-5k-training-plan/ This one seems a little easier to me than the first. Maybe I'll start with this one. Nice mix of walking and jogging and then leading up to just jogging.
Also you can map your runs and find out how far you are going - if you want to run outside, which I love doing now that it's nice weather! Go to http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/
And if you're like me and couldn't figure out how to do it see this: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=404

Let me know if you've found any other great sites!

Loving it

I couldn't go to Weight Watchers on Sat. like normal since I was in a wedding so I went on Friday. I was really proud I went on Friday. I lost 3.2 pounds!!

The wedding was exhausting. So I don't have much else to say. :)

Moving Forward

I told my friend Mandee that I like running because I'm moving forward. I put one foot in front of the other ever so slowly ;) and I MOVE FORWARD. It's hard, but I do it. That's why I love running!

I know I've been talking about losing weight for a long time. And "trying" to lose weight. How hard I've been trying is debatable. I know that what really keeps me on track is going to Weight Watchers meetings and tracking what I eat. I haven't been to a meeting since the end of Jan. Hmmm.... right around the time I lost my job and life kinda fell apart.

So on Sat. I went. I went and weighed in. I talked to my meeting leader and cried a little. I'm 13 pounds over goal weight and feeling it. I had to pay for the meeting since I'm over lifetime goal. And I don't really have the money to do it. Really. Lowe's gave me 10 hours this week and 15 next week. NOT good. BUT I have to do this. And once I get to 148 I won't have to pay anymore! Goal weight is 146 but I can be 2 lbs over.

I weighed in at 159.2. I had eaten Panda Express the night before so most of that must have been bloating since I weighed in this morning at 155-something. I will be happy if I can stay at 155 throughout the weekend. I have a bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, and wedding this weekend!

I wanted to share my new favorite snack. String Cheese and Turkey Pepperoni! Turkey pepperoni tastes better to me and you can eat 17 for 70 calories.

What's your favorite snacks? This week hasn't been so hard because I haven't been working but when I do work and take breaks in the break room, the vending machine glares at me. Ding Dongs, chocolate donuts, more ding dongs, Twix, M&Ms, chips, soda.... you get the point. I've never been tempted by vending machines but when it's there all the time it's hard. I never drink soda but when everyone else is drinking soda and I'm tired, it's tempting. Maybe I should try some Crystal Light so I have something sweet to drink.

For those of you wanting to join my team I am gettting the info for you! I have to finish this author project for my literature class, before work at 5 so I better go!

Not such a good week

I've had better weeks than this last one. I was feeling really great and hopeful and great and then BAM! BAM! BAM! I got depressed and tired and hopeless and yeah.... Dealing with emotional issues is hard and definitely hinders my weight loss. I hate how the two are so intricately intwined together.

So I weighed this morning in at 156. Not quite as far along as I wanted to be at this point but still down .8. I gotta pick it up, by Monday I would really like to be 155.

School has been stressful. Yes I said SCHOOL- in the SUMMER. I've never gone to summer school and now I know why. It's really hard to be motivated and I'm just burned OUT! My schedule at work has been not too kind. They have been giving me Mondays and Wednesdays off because I have school and am only available 4 hours in the middle of the day. So it's most convenient for them.

BUT it's really not a day off at all when you're going to school for 6 hours. So what happens is I never get a day off from school and work! There's always something to do. It's one reason I really miss having my Sundays.

Hopefully that will be changing soon. I told them I couldn't work for them if they didn't give me every other Sunday like they promised. They said they would but the new schedule hasn't come out so we'll see if they follow through. I have this sinking feeling they won't, but either way it will work out. In the little spare time I have I've been looking for jobs and I know if this doesn't work out the Lord will bless me with something else.

So yeah. Feeling a little overwhelmed. To the point where it's hard to do anything at all but give up. But I'm still here and I'm getting on.

Love you all my awesome readers! Hope your week is going great!

Running Take 3

So today will be my 3rd time running! I really am loving it, although I'm not so great at it right now. I probably have said this before but running makes me feel good because I push myself. Put me on an elliptical or bike, I could go for an hour or two and just feel tired. But with running I am always pushing myself to go just a little farther, a little longer. I push myself passed what I think I can do and feel so good when I do it! "Just get to that tree......that wasn't too bad... Just push to the lightpost...." I thought I would pass out before I got to the tree but I didn't and I went on to the lightpost! It just makes me feel so good to dig deep to make it happen.

I am a slow runner, but that's okay. At least I'm doing it. The first time I went I just ran/walk however much I thought I could do. The second time I bought a $9 sport watch at K-Mart so I could time myself. 5 minutes of running alternate with 3 minutes of walking. I did that 5 times, so I ran a total of 25 minutes split up. Pretty good I think.

So here's the update. Last Monday I weighed in at 156.8. My goal by my birthday which is Sep. 18th and the day of my 5k is 140. 16.8 pounds to lose. That's 1.12 pounds a week. Completely doable in my book.

Although I wish I could be 140 today or tomorrow, or even in a month, I think it would make me more stressed. I am trying to be realistic and do what I can handle.

I'm ready to do this. Let's go!

Running for Earl and Papa

Notice my cool sidebar? (well top-bar since it's at the top) I am Running a 5k on September 18, 2010. My birthday!! I am asking for donations to sponsor me in this race.

Cardiovascular diseases are our nation's #1 killer, taking nearly one million American lives every year. That's more than the next five leading causes of death combined!


A few years ago we lost Uncle Earl to heart disease. I want to run in his honor and know it will push me to do my best and get my heart in shape so I can always be here for those I love.

I also found out the race is to raise awareness for stroke which is the #3 killer in the U.S. So this is for Papa Tom too who I miss a whole lot. Love you Papa!

Thanks for your support in helping me reach my goal!


P.S. They have a kids fun race and you can also walk the 5k if you like. Please let me know if you'd like to join my team and help raise money for the American Heart Association. Thanks!

Running

I ran this morning. This gorgeous beautiful perfect temperature morning. It was so amazing. I loved it. And have missed it so much. I'm getting myself back and it's awesome!

6 Weeks to a Healthier Thinner and Sexier ME!!!

I bought the "6 Weeks to A Healthier You" Biggest Loser book. It has weekly menus and weekly exercise plans. And the best thing is, it's NORMAL food I would actually eat. With a lot of low fat/healthy recipes I find they have weird ingredients or a list of ingredients 3 pages long! I want simple healthy and yummy! And this book gives it to me!

I started on Monday (yesterday) and am feeling good! Lucky for me there are 6 weeks until my best friend, Cameron's, wedding! I am going to be a bridesmaid so I think it will be good motivation.

I have gained 5 lbs. in the last month because of finals and stress and eating really crappy.

Okay I'm just going to do it. Ugh. I weighed in at 157 this morning.

I have 22.5 lbs to lose before I get a party from Brandon. Today I told him he would be throwing me a party this year and he said "Prove it." I love that man, and I will prove it!!

I have 11 pounds to get back to Weight Watchers' goal weight.

And I have 1 pound to lose this week! Let's start small.

Water Water Water!

So I have not been doing good eating right, but I HAVE been good at drinking enough water. Wanna know why? This is why!
I love this water bottle I got for Christmas. I've always thought I drink more through a straw, but never liked any of the straw water bottles I'd tried. I LOVE this one, and because so I drink more! Find a water bottle you Love, it may help you get your water in.

Wednesday Review: Yoplait Frozen Smoothies

Has anyone else been wanting to try these? Well I have gone ahead and tried it for you! ;) Here's what I think (for what it's worth) :)

PROS:
*DE-LI-CIOUS! I got the triple berry flavor and was very pleased.
*The yogurt pieces made it really creamy and the frozen fruit made it cold and icey
*FAST and convenient
*1 full serving of fruit
*The 2 servings (whole bag) fit in my Magic bullet (but barely)
*Only 110 calories per serving
*3 flavors: Strawberry Banana, Strawberry Mango Pineapple, Triple Berry

CONS:
*The bag contains 2 servings. This is bad if you are eating alone if you only want one serving. I will have to try to divide the yogurt pieces and fruit evenly next time if I want one serving. It's just not as convenient that way.
*The "leftovers" don't keep well. I kept some in the fridge and some in the freezer overnight. The freezer one was solid and the fridge one was kind of weird, like the yogurt balled up in tiny balls.
*More pricey than making your own


This glass holds 2 servings
Overall I would definitely recommend this and buy it again. The strawberry mango pineapple is next on the list.

YOGA

I have great friends. I feel like I'm not really as good of a friend as I should be. I am not good at staying in touch or hanging out with people. Geez, when did I become so selfish? Here's to being a better friend.

Thank you for all your comments and support!

Tonight one of my awesome friends, Becky H. invited me to yoga! She usually goes the nights I have class, but it's Spring Break so no class! I was supposed to go to Zumba with her before yoga, but traffic made me late (I do want to try Zumba sometime though). Yoga was so great! I am not very strong yet, so I did some things modified. What a good workout, and it was so relaxing. How is it relaxing when my muscles are shaking? I don't know, but it's awesome. And I didn't feel tired after it. Most of the time when I "relax" it leads to sleep quickly. But this gave me energy. I highly recommend taking a class if you have never tried yoga before, though. I have tried DVDs before and just didn't feel like I had the instruction I needed. Plus getting out of my home, in a room with dimmed lights, I think makes a big difference in my ability to relax.

The other great thing about tonight was seeing a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and seeing how good she looked! She has lost weight and is so dedicated to her fitness classes. It really motivates me to be better. Thanks Becky :)

Oh and I was proud for using my yoga mat for the first time. I've had it for a year!!

Stay tuned for "Wednesday Review: Yoplait Smoothies"

In my Mind

You know.... I have been talking about losing weight for a loooooooooong time. I've attempted losing weight several times. I have been faithfully going to the gym... sometimes. I have avoided sugar.... for a day.... And then I don't. I just start over.

But you know what? I have to keep trying. I definitely won't get there if I don't try. That's something right?

You are worth feeling good! You are worth taking the time for yourself! If I say it enough times... maybe my brain will start to think it?

One month Silence

I haven't posted in a month! Eeek. Not much has happened in the weight dept. Brandon and I did come up with our own challenge though. Starting last week, whoever loses the most weight (percentage wise) gets money! (We can do this becuse we're not married so our money is separate.) It's 3 months long. Every month the winner of that month gets $25 from the other person. The overall winner gets $25 at the end of the 3 months. So potentially one of us could get $100, or we could both get $50, technically cancelling out any gain or loss :)
Seems like money is the only motivating thing for us. I am almost more motivated not to LOSE money than gain money.
Maybe this is a little extreme, but we both really want to lose and we both want new clothes, so that's where the money comes in :)
This Wed. is the first weigh in. We both had a rough weekend with emotional stuff going on so we'll see how it goes. (You know me and my emotional eating! <:( )

It's not a goal...

...til you write it down. At least that's what I've been told. :)

I was going through some old posts and found this one. Ahh yes... remember that party I was supposed to be getting? Brandon thinks he got out of it, but I AM GOING TO LOSE 25%.
I have til May 15th. that will be a year since I set that goal. Guess I had to think about it for a long time before I actutally started trying.

Umm... I just calculated how much weight that is and I kinda freaked out. 18 lbs. (because I gained .2 last week and pretty sure I'm going to gain this week since I haven't been trying hard) So from this morning's weight I have to lose 18.5 more pounds! EEK! I have 15 weeks to do that. That's 1.23 lbs. a week. Sounds doable.... but it gets so much harder the smaller I get to lose weight.

I am planning a trip to Iowa May 6th-12th so that would be cool if I reached my goal before then but we'll see.

I really want to hit it by the 15th. It's going to be hard and take work... Guess I should have a plan... I'll do it later...

Gaining

I gained .2 lbs this week. Grrr... That was the 3rd week of starting to really start losing weight. Can't get discouraged now!! Why is losing weight so hard? I just want to look like I do in my head already!
Sat. was National Pie Day and we had a Pie party and went WAY overboard. SO not worth it since this week I will be paying for eating my weight in pie.
Weekends have always been my downfall and I still haven't beat that. Hmmm... gotta start getting creative. Any ideas?

One of those nights

I should go to the gym but instead I really just want to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies and eat them all. Or go get a donut. Mmmmm glazed twisted donut.....Wow it's been a long time. Oh I just remembered me and Brandon pacted (I don't think that's a word) to not eat a donut until Valentine's Day. *humph*

I'm going to the gym now........

Feelin' Good

When my family started the Biggest Loser contest 2 weeks ago I weigh 154.4. The first week I lost 3.8, the second week I lost .2 lbs. I am really excited because that adds up to exactly 4 lbs! I want to lose 2 lbs a week and so far so good. Granted it's only been 2 weeks, but I can already tell I'm feeling better. Today I weighed in at 150.4.

I have been able to schedule in my workouts even with school starting this week. It helps that Brandon comes with me sometimes. I am a lot more organized this semester with school and I think that will help me stay on track with weight loss. If I'm not crazy stressed with school then it will be easier to stay on track with weight loss.

Although it's only the first week of school I'm having a better attitude about everything. This semester is going to be much better! I just know it.

Frogs and Logs

"Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Answer: five. Why, because there’s a difference between deciding and doing."

Mark Feldman & Michael Spratt

When first reading this I thought "What?" Anyone else confused? Try this:

"Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Answer: five. Why, because there’s a difference between deciding and doing."

When I first read it I thought '4 jumped off'. But they only DECIDED to jump! Do I really subconsciously think deciding is the same as doing? How many times in my life have I decided to do something, but never actually done it? I decided to lose weight a long time ago, now I'm actually going to do it.

People have told me how I have inspired them with this blog and I think "How?" I haven't even done anything! I've gained weight since this blog started! But you know, at least I'm still here, I'm still trying. I feel like I've been thinking about losing weight and deciding to lose weight since this blog started. Now I'm ready to actually DO IT.

Thanks to my readers! You've inspired ME to stop deciding and thinking and start doing!

Here's to shrinking me in 2010!!

2009 in Review

January:
24th: 143.6
31st: 142.8
February:
7th: 143.8
14th: 142
21st: 141.2
28th: 138.8
March:
14th: 144.2
21st: 144.8
28th: 142.8
May:
2nd: 145.6
16th: 145.4
23rd: 144.2
30th: 145.4
June:
20th: 144.4
27th: 143.00
July:
11th: 145.6
18th: 145.2
25th: 144.4
August:
8th: 147.4
September:
26th: 153.8
October:
3rd: 150.8
24th: 150.6
December:
5th: 148.8
31st: 154.4

These are my recorded weights from Weight Watcher's meetings this year. Wow, my attendance was not very good. Looks like Feb. and May are the only months I went all 4 times. And there were some months I didn't even go. This year has been rough. It's interesting how my attendance and weight follow the hard times in my life. In April I didn't attend at all, and that's the same month my nephew Will died. Aug. and Sep. were hard, and I gained weight. This was when I started a new school and moved to a new place, so lots of new stresses and worries for me. And on came the pounds.

What a yo-yo year! There are 15.6 pounds between my lowest and highest weight and unfortunately I'm at the highest right now. Very depressing.... This has been a rough year, so I'm looking forward to a fresh start. A new school semester with fewer classes, a more organized room and being more familiar with my school should help. It's a lot about my attittude and preparation. I just need to do what I can and trust that the other things will work themselves out. And if they don't, I learn from it and MOVE ON. Always move on. Always go forward. The past does not define us. Deal with what IS.

Happy New Year!

The McCullough Clan

The BIGGEST LOSERS are here! My family and I, like many people this time of year, are getting healthy and losing weight. We started today and will weigh in every Friday for 12 weeks. We're not exactly sure about the details, but hopefully this jumpstarts our weight loss. I really love my family, more than anything and want them (and me) to be healthy and live a long time together. I'll keep you updated!