Happy "Imperfect" Mother's Day!

So let me start off by saying that much like motherhood and life; things don’t always go the way you want them too. Like take for example my weekend and start to Mother’s Day. One of my favorite scriptures is in D&C 121:7 – “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment…”

My better half has been working weekends and graves for months now and it is getting tiring and frustrating. So sometimes I just dislike the weekends and one of the things that keeps me going is how grateful I am when Sunday rolls around and I can spend some quality time with my family and to ponder, think about, and grow closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am grateful for friends who remind me of the positives and that we are lucky that church starts at 1pm because my husband who although is exhausted from working and may have only gotten 3-4 hours of sleep; will roll out of bed to come to church with his loving family.

Yesterday was a busy day filled with haircuts, errands, soccer games, and just playing outside with my children. When dinnertime rolled around my sweet little girl started acting funny and decided she was “too tired for dinner.” I could tell she was a little off and a tad warm so I gave her some Motrin and after some cuddling with me I put her to bed.

Mother’s Day has always been pretty emotional for me. Particularly when Mother’s Day falls on May 8^th. Right before I turned 16 (22 years ago) my sweet maternal grandmother Jacqueline Blackburn Muir passed away from Breast Cancer on May 8^th (Mother’s Day). I was very close to her so this was extremely hard for me and even more so for my dear mother. My grandma was one of the most important people in my life and such a wonderful example to me. I think about her often and sometimes even talk to her when I am alone.

 

I am so grateful for this woman because she blessed me with my own dear mother. I love my mom more than the world and although like most mother/daughter relationships we have shared our ups and downs, she has truly been an amazing mother. She has taught me so much and instilled in me such a love for the gospel and my Heavenly Father. I only hope I can turn out to be half the mother she was to me.

 

  

Mother’s Day was also difficult for me for many years because my husband and I struggled immensely with infertility. For such a long time I truly thought that I would not be blessed to be able to have my own children; to the point that attending church on Mother’s Day became tough and depressing for me. Finally in 2005, after some help with fertility medication, and many, many, prayers we were blessed with our first baby boy. We then had our second handsome boy a little over a year and a half later (with some help with fertility medications). Then right after I received my Bachelor’s degree from BYU we were pregnant with our sweet little girl. I can’t even describe how grateful and what a blessing it is to be a mom to these three special children. 

 

  

Of course despite how rewarding motherhood can be it can also just be really, really, hard sometimes. Like when you want to wake up on Mother’s Day to a perfectly clean house, no arguing children, breakfast already made, and peaceful church music ringing through the house. Although this has happened many times before it definitely DID NOT happen this year. LOL.

I was up late working on some Relief Society stuff so I finally got to bed around 11pm. After finally closing my eyes I was awakened by a crying toddler at around 11:30. So I dragged myself out of bed and gave her some Tylenol, went to snuggle her while she requested that I sing her favorite primary song; “My Heavenly Father Loves Me.” Half asleep I sang to her, gave her some hugs and kisses, and dragged myself back to bed (I hope I don’t sound like an insensitive mom that doesn’t want to cuddle their sick child all night but I am an EXTREMELY light sleeper and all my kids move and kick ALL night long. If I was going to get any sleep it was back to my bed I go.) This pattern went on all night long every hour or so. So by 3:30am I was completely exhausted.  

 

I woke up to three sweet children excited to show me their Mother’s Day gifts. Their dad had gotten home from work and was already passed out in bed (although he was sweet and left my gifts on the counter; complete with 2 dozen red roses, handmade gifts from my children, sweet cards and a bag filled with Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory caramel apples and goodies).

 

So while one of my favorite things is to hear my children sing in church on Mother’s Day I just couldn’t push aside my youngest one crying and wanting her mommy to stay home. Grateful for a hubby who no matter how tired will wake up and take our boys to church. After giving my sweet girl a hug while she was moaning and crying from not feeling well and I realized how HOT she really was. It was time for some more Motrin and a cool bath while eating popsicles. While I sat next to the bathtub completely exhausted and wishing this day had gone a little differently my sweet little girl who was laying on her belly in the bathtub turned her head, looked at me while flipping her little feet in the water and said, “Look mom, I’m a Mermaid.” My eyes started to well up with tears of gratitude and I thought to myself; “Happy Imperfect Mother’s Day to me; I wouldn’t change a thing.”

"What Do I Do Different?"

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my children. 

I have been thinking about what it was like when I was growing up. I ran around the neighborhood until it got dark and my parents yelled for me to come inside, I drank water from the hose, my mom didn’t call me on my cell, I played outside with my friends (not online), I talked to my friends on the phone or face to face (I didn’t text them), I ate what my mom made me or I didn’t eat at all, and many more things like this. I know times have changed and in many ways things are better; but it makes me sad that my kids are missing out on some of this. I love where we live but I don’t feel like we live in a world where my kids can roam the neighborhood freely. And don’t even get me started on the whole socialization and electronics era.

I feel like I am fighting a war with my kids and sometimes neither of us wins. The latest question from my 8 and 6.5 year-old is if they can “connect” with their friends to play games online. My kids rarely play video games but having my two oldest be boys it was inevitable that this issue would come up. My husband and I are currently discussing the matter and one of the games they want to connect with is MineCraft. We have found out from a friend through church that they can create a server for them so only friends we know and invite can be on it (this makes me feel a lot better) but currently my oldest is grounded from electronics until further notice. Electronics in our home is not a “right,” it is a privilege and my children sometimes forget this fact.

Now, I am always annoyed when the time change rolls around because this really messes me up. This last time was worse than ever. I have been getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night for almost a week now. One night I was reading my scriptures and I began to become stressed and overwhelmed. All of a sudden as all these thoughts were in my mind, I heard the question as clear as day, “What do I do different?” My children are not growing up during the same time I was or dealing with exactly the same things. They are growing up in a much more fast paced and instant gratification type of world. How do I get them to slow down? How do I stop them from being so stubborn (which I know is not always a bad thing)? How do I teach them patience when things are so much quicker and easier for them? I mean seriously…what did we all do before we had DVR? LOL

My husband Scott and I were recently discussing how blessed we both were to have such wonderful parents. Now, they weren’t perfect by any means but we both felt pretty lucky. Now that we have 3 children of our own and I am sure we are making many mistakes along the way…the question that keeps pushing into my mind and heart is, “What do we do different?”

Am I destined to be that one parent who doesn’t allow their child to run around the church/office buildings because they aren't being entertained in some fashion? Am I the only parent who doesn’t let their sons play Halo, or other crazy shooting games (a side note: as they get older they will be allowed to play games such as these)? Am I the last mom in the world to think that a child should be able to sit still for a short meeting or get through an appointment without the use of some type of electronic to entertain them (cell phone, iPad, Kindle, etc.). My boys both got Kindles for Christmas and we have the passwords for them and when their homework is done for the week and their chores are done (and they aren’t grounded for some reason) they are given the passwords for them. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to sound “holier than though” in any way and I don’t by any means think that this makes me a better parent than the next person. I have used methods such as these to pacify a crying toddler who just got shots and is immediately soothed by the music from the Disney movie “Frozen.” If a meeting or appointment happens to run longer than expected than my boys can have their Kindles. And SOMETIMES, when we go out to dinner at a restaurant, if the boys have been very good that week they can bring their Kindles to play on – this makes it a much more calm and quiet dinnertime for everyone (which parents need for their sanity sometimes). But like I said, we do this SOMETIMES. When I went out to dinner with my parents growing up I was just fine with the little paper and crayons I had to color on. I believe it is more important to talk as the family than ignore each other with screens.  I usually try to encourage them to bring a book to read or something to color/write on. My boys love to read and that makes me so happy. They love coming home and showing me what they got from the school library that day. Plus, they have an amazing dad who takes them once a week to the local library to stock up on books!

 So, “What do I do different?” How do I teach my kids as they get older that, Video Games, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and Tinder (apparently this is the coolest new dating app according to my sister) are not the best ways to learn communication skills or how to socialize with people.  I want my children to have great socialization skills and know how to communicate with people in the real world- when it comes to church, family, school, business, and other facets of life. I feel sad that they might not know how important those face-to-face conversations are. They might now know how much fun it is when you’re in love with someone to stay up all hours of the night talking and laughing – INSTEAD of texting! I remember some of the best phone calls Scott and I had getting to know one another.

After staying up late reading my scriptures and thinking about this question well into the next morning, I came to the conclusion that this question is best posed in prayer with my Heavenly Father. Scott and I love our kids with all our hearts and we want the absolute best for them. We are definitely not perfect and will continue to make mistakes along the way. But it is such a comfort to know that we have a Heavenly Father who is there to help guide us as we continue to ask Him, “What do we do different?”

I found a great article on LDS.ORG about parents teaching children from ages 4-11, and here are a few excerpts:

President David O. McKay said, “The home is the best place in the world to teach the child self-restraint, to give him happiness in self-control, and respect for the rights of others. I feel that the first contribution of the home to the happiness of the child is to impress him with the fact that there are bounds beyond which he cannot go with safety; second, to teach him to be considerate of the rights of others; third, to have him feel that home is a place where confidences and consolations are exchanged; and fourth, to have him cherish the thought that home is a haven of seclusion and rest from the worries and perplexities of life.”

Although this article is from awhile back, I love so many of the things it said. In case you’re interested in checking it out here is the link: (it’s a quick read)

https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide/chapter-4-teaching-children-from-four-to-eleven-years?lang=eng

*Oh, and I knew I had seen someone post a quote on facebook about “When I Was Young…” - the first time I saw this I remember how much the words resonated with me.  I am glad I found it to show my kids one day LOL

"Parent of the Year" Award & Potty Training

So, I don’t know about many of you but there are days that I just would NOT ever win a “Parent of the Year” Award. I feel like I should get a medal that my kids make it alive through each day (and I mean this in the most sarcastic way possible). I spend a lot of time praying for patience because it sometimes feels like if I have to say, “pick up your clothes, put that toy away, or why is there a sock in the middle of the front room” one more time…my head might literally explode. Now, don’t get me wrong, each of my precious kids has their own fun and unique qualities, but I sometimes wonder if they wake up thinking…”how can I push my mom right to the edge?” And although I have many days like this (as I am sure most of us do), yesterday was surprisingly NOT one of those days.

It was one of those days where there was the occasional argument that called for me to serve as referee. But for the most part it was a “Great Saturday.”

99% of the time we wake up to the sounds of the happiest baby girl in the world. This just makes our day, even if I have had a rough night of sleep, how can I stay grumpy with such a sweetheart little girl?  The boys love Saturday mornings because they get more freedom to play video games (which means Minecraft or The Lego Avengers game, AKA video game heaven for them). Since the boys were busy entertaining themselves I decided to focus on day 4 of potty training with Charlotte. Now, I don’t want to brag but I honestly thought that potty training this time around would be really hard. Mainly because Izek and Maxwell were both pretty easy and also because I honestly thought potty training a girl would be much harder. I really and truly was prepared for the worst. Charlotte turns 21 months on Valentine’s Day so I wasn’t planning on “pushing” potty training because she is still so tiny and isn’t even 2 yet! But, she started coming to us (even the boys) and telling us she had to go, so I figured she’s ready so let’s do this!

Our special trick with the boys was plain old M&M’s. I am not usually one to reward with candy or sugar (because then I would usually end up rewarding myself, for NO reason; again- "insert sarcasm") but we only did it for a short period of time and it worked like magic. We would give them one single M&M for going #1 and a tiny handful for going #2. Once I could tell they had gotten it we stopped the M&M’s pretty quick. Scott and I were just talking a few days ago about how with the boys we never even had any issues with accidents.

It seems like for the most part Charlotte has figured out how to tell us when she has to go #2, so I need to get her to realize when she has to go #1. So, we are not 100% potty trained but our little princess is really doing awesome. I even put her to bed and it was quiet for about 10 minutes (she normally goes right to sleep), then I heard her calling “momma.” I went in and asked her if she had to go to the bathroom and she nodded. I kept most of the lights off and sat her on the toilet. Waited for about 5 minutes and then she went #1 and #2. Gave her hugs and a huge high five (and three little marshmallows, I didn’t want to go buy M&M’s and have chocolate in the house). Put the little angel back in bed and she went right to sleep. Love our baby girl!

Maxwell has been feeling a little off the last couple of days and so he ended up falling asleep in the afternoon. I made some fresh fruit and veggie juice with Izek which he and Charlotte gobbled up. Then I sent Izek and Charlotte outside while I did some cleaning in the kitchen. Although sometimes I wonder if Izek is going to send me to an early grave, he really is the BEST BIG BROTHER. He cares and loves his brother and sister so much. Actually what has me worried is that Charlotte is going to have her two big brothers wrapped around her little finger. I watched them play out the window for about 10 minutes and I was just entranced. Izek had Charlotte on his lap, sharing his snack with her when he leaned over and she gave him a kiss. Then he jumped with her on the trampoline (one of her most favorite things to do) while bouncing balls to her, then he could tell she wanted to ride his scooter with him, and although it probably wasn’t the safest thing and I should have gone out there to stop him…I just stood at the window and cried (because my heart was so full of love). Charlotte was all smiles as he kept trying to stand her on his scooter and balance her around (unsuccessfully I might add). The next thing I know, he has gone and found Maxwell’s old toddler bike and he’s racing Charlotte around on it while she squeals in pure delight. Oh how I love and appreciate my oldest son and what a great young man he is growing up to become!

So, although I would probably never win the “Parent of the Year” Award…I might get an award for a “Great Saturday.”

SO much time has passed!

I can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I last blogged. Although it was fun rereading my last entry and thinking about all the amazing things that have happened in my life since then. I will do my best to "quickly" sum up the last two years. Probably the most amazing thing is that literally RIGHT after I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in 2011 - we got pregnant with our third child. My water broke on Mother's Day and the following afternoon on May 14, 2012 we welcomed our beautiful daughter Charlotte Jacqueline into our family! We couldn't believe we finally had a little girl and even her two big brothers were ecstatic! I also had a blast decorating her nursery - COPY and PASTE the link to see nursery photos: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151016616566985.425476.694961984&type=1&l=9d41c20ac3

FALL BREAK  
We spent fall break (October 2012) visiting my family in Utah. It was fun having Grandpa Jay (Scott's dad) come along. We went to see my grandpa Russell Muir and his wife Linda in ST. GEORGE, UTAH. Then I was really looking forward to spending time with my great-grandma (the boys great-great grandma) Elma Blackburn in BEAVER, UTAH. She turned 97-years-old the following month and was not doing very well, so we were grateful we could go and spend some special time with her. I was born in Beaver, Utah and it is a very special place for me. My grandma (Jacqueline Blackburn Muir) is buried there and since Charlotte is named after her we took her to visit her grave. Then we went hiking and had a picnic in Snow Canyon, which was absolutely beautiful. Then we stopped and spent some time in Vegas on the way home and the boys got to see "Batman Live!" We had such a great time!

RUN or DYE! I completed my first 5K on March 9, 2013
The SoCal weather was just beautiful! Had such a blast with all my friends and even made some new ones! I had such a great time but I don't know if this makes me a certified "runner" yet. If I had a choice I would rather exercise on my elliptical or take a bike ride to enjoy the beautiful weather. Either way I had so much fun - thanks SOLE SISTERS! Yep, we made shirts and they were AWESOME!

SPRING BREAK to ARIZONA (April 2013)
We had such a blast visiting my brother Dan, Brita and the cousins (Emma, Ben, and Hanna). The kids wanted to stay another week and had so much fun. Izek and Benjamin are the same age and it is a riot to watch these two boys be silly together. We love spending time with family and it is always so sad to say goodbye! 

Charlotte's 1st BEE-Day
We had so much fun celebrating Charlotte's 1st birthday with our family and friends! We really appreciate all who came (and traveled) to share this special day with us. We had over 50 people and it sure was a PARTY! This little girl is sure loved by so many! We are so blessed to have her in our family. She brings such a sweet peace to all of us and her two older brothers could not adore her more!
* Thanks SO much to Heather Keil Photography for taking these amazing pictures. Please check out "Heather Keil Photography" on facebook!
 If you want to check out all her birthday pics COPY and PASTE this link:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151521060736985.1073741831.694961984&type=1&l=5c538ebb65

BIG BEAR, CA (October 2013)
We had one of our most memorable vacations at Big Bear over the boys break from school. We went hiking, played games, went shopping at Big Bear Village, went bowling, watched movies, and just relaxed as the family. Then after some amazing sunny weather we got SNOW! The boys were so excited and spent hours having snowball fights (despite me NOT packing the most "appropriate" snow clothing...LOL). We even stopped a few times on the drive home for some more snowball fights! It was an amazing vacation! Copy and paste the link to view all the pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151742963836985.1073741832.694961984&type=1&l=e66d3b1c19

THANKSGIVING & FAMILY TIME (ELK GROVE, CA)
We traveled to Sacramento (Elk Grove) to spend Thanksgiving with my siblings and their families. We really missed my mom and dad who our on a LDS Church military mission in Tokyo, Japan. I am so grateful for technology and that we could face time with them.
Izek was born in Sacramento and we lived there until he was almost one while Scott was finishing up the CHP Academy. It was fun to visit some old friends (Jennifer Johnston, Melanie Newbold and Santa, Chris Newbold- I really wish we had remembered to grab pictures with the Newbolds) and to spend time with family and the cousins. We took the kiddos to the Jelly Belly Factory and Apple Hill. We really appreciate Jarrod and Amber having a full house! It was so much fun and we need to go back soon! We love our family!
Copy and paste the link to view the album: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151861030661985.1073741836.694961984&type=1&l=f3c116981b

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2013
 Love, The Nelson Family

IT'S GREAT TO BE "EIGHT"
Izek Scott Nelson turned "8" and was baptized!
We decided to have Izek baptized on his birthday December 30th, 2012. It was such a special day and we really appreciate all our family and friends who came to share this special day with him. Even though it was his birthday, we really focused on the baptism part and not the "birthday" part. We haven't even gotten him a birthday present yet and he hasn't even asked for anything or noticed (that's the type of kid he is). Although we have ordered him a new bike (since his is three years old and really beat up) but it hasn't arrived yet. We can't wait to see the look on his face when he gets it!

There are so many things we love about Izek. He really is such a special and sweet boy. He is always so caring and sensitive. He is smart as a whip (for his own good sometimes and it definitely keeps his dad and I on our toes). He is in the 2nd grade and is almost at a 5th grade reading level. We call him "our little negotiator." He is our oldest and loves his brother and sister so much. He came home from school recently and told me how he overheard some older boy being mean to Maxwell so he went over and told him to stop picking on someone smaller. I spend a lot of time telling him to "give Charlotte a break," and by this I mean that he just loves her so much he is constantly with her and trying to do things for her. His dad and I laugh because it has been hard for him to "not incessantly take care of her" and learn that she is trying to do things for herself. He is such an amazing older brother. We are so proud of him and the decision he made to be baptized.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2014 is going to be an amazing year!
Scott's brother Steve and their family came for Izek's baptism and stayed to ring in the New Year with us! The weather was just breathtaking and so one of the days we decided to head to the beach. It was so nice just walking along the pier and then we stopped to eat clam chowder bread bowls at Erik Erickson's (which made me think of my mom, since it's one of her favorite things to do). We had fun playing games, watching movies, laughing, and kicking off the New Year together. We loved that they came to visit and are grateful they don't live too far!