Keith got to participate in his first pine wood derby last week! It was SO much FUN! There is a guy in our stake (or maybe one the the surrounding stakes....there are a lot around here!) that owns an awesome track and he loans in out to the wards when its time for their derbys. He comes and makes it so much for the kids and everyone was happy and having fun. Keith took 4th place over all, and won three individual races. Nate even entered his car, but didn't have time to weight it in so it wasn't as fast as the cub scouts :( but he still had lots of fun too.
And then yesterday I spent nine hours shopping, chopping, cooking and canning salsa!
We spent a wonderful weekend at Anna's for Thanksgiving and Nate and I went to the Payson Temple and did sealings. It is SO beautiful! We were also blessed to go to see the lights at Temple Square the day after Thanksgiving. And although I was wishing almost the whole time that we HADN'T decided to go (mostly because I don't like being not in control of my surroundings and there were so many people and it was freezing and parking was harder than I thought it would be....etc) I'm very glad we did go and that Anna's family and my parents joined us and the kids got to see how beautiful everything was. If we could do it again we wouldn't do it the day after Thanksgiving because EVERYONE in the whole valley had the same idea.
Christmas Eve we had a great time playing in the snow in our yard. We had gotten about a foot in the last week and Natalie made a snow cave with the mound of snow Nate shoveled. Our neighbors were pulling a sled behind their 4-wheeler and took our kids on some rides, and Nathaniel enjoyed his first snow experience very much!
Christmas Day was wonderful too, especially since Nate wasn't throwing up anymore. Our whole family was sick for about 20 of the 31 days in December....
The kids had fun learning twister and playing with train tracks and lots of puzzles!
A view of our front yard a street...
Here is the 500 piece puzzle Mom and Dad Burt got us made from a photograph of our beach adventure this summer! So awesome!
This was filmed on New Year's Eve before we went to a friends house for a party...
This was a cute video I filmed on November 2nd, Nathaniel was almost 9 months old
This Christmas season I have so much to be thankful for. I
could gush about all my blessings, but I won’t. I know that everyone out there
in the world also has much to be thankful for, and probably a lot to be sad, concerned
and worried about too. I also have my
worries and frustrations. I have spent a lot of time on my knees today pouring
out my exasperations to the Lord. I was confused about my own feelings
concerning the Syrian refugees and the debate about Muslims. I wasn’t sure
where I stood. All I knew was that I was sick of hearing all of the negative
comments on face book. I was heart sick watching and listening to people debate
these issues. I used the word “stupid” a lot while I was praying. Sometimes I have a hard time expressing what I am feeling into words, so stupid is used to compensate.
I told the Lord I was tired of these stupid politicians
using real people who are going through real traumatic experiences, with real
families and real children to promote their own stupid agendas. I felt blessed
and guilty at the same time knowing that I live in America and that my family
is safe and has food to eat and place to go to sleep at night without worrying
about bombs dropping on their heads. I said it once before and I will say it
again, if Syrian Muslims showed up at my house they would be fed and given a
place to live. I know people have a lot
of anxiety about the “what ifs”. What if they are terrorists, what if they want
to hurt people, what if our country can’t support so many refugees? I had some
of those same concerns myself as I prayed to the Lord.
I wish I could say that Heavenly Father enlightened my mind
completely and I have all the answers. I don’t. All I know is that the Savior
was born, not to save the Christians, not to save Americans, but to save ALL of
us. I bawled my eyes out thinking about how there is so much evil, corruption
and secret combinations in the world. Conspiring men in the last days. But I
was also overcome with so much relief and utter joy thinking about the people
that are doing their best to teach truth, righteousness and charity. I thought
of Twyla and Aaron who are being AMAZING parents in the way that they have
taught their children to give and to help others in need. Ben’s Christmas wish
was to help the refugees. I wish there were so many more parents like them out
there. Parents who will teach faith instead of fear, parents who will teach
love instead of hate.
But the one thing I prayed the hardest for was that the
Savior would come. I know it is soon, but to me it is not coming soon enough.
And although I know it will mean more devastation and destruction as the Lord
prepares the hearts of his people to be pure, It also means that Christ will
reign on earth and evil will be vanquished.
There are times in my life when I feel like I have
everything under control. Situations arise, and I handle them with tack. I
speak softly, calmly, and with love while teaching a disobedient child. The
Spirit is in the room, and in my heart directing my words and the problem gets
fixed with everyone coming out unscathed.
Then there are times, sometimes in the same hour, that I completely
loose it. Forget the Spirit; it is not invited to my rampage. I get physical. I
get angry. I go into “Scary Mommy Mode” and any lesson I am hoping to get
across to my child gets lost in the fire coming out of my eyes. And then,
feeling the disappointment at my actions, I attempt to make it all better by
telling my child I love them no matter what and that I am sorry for having to
yell and me mad.
First example: Keith and Hyrum were fighting over a chip clip
(I know, who fights over that?? My children apparently); Keith was using it
first, but then Hyrum found it and started to play with it causing Keith to get
upset because he had it first. So they argued, and Keith spanked Hyrum. Hyrum
came up in tears telling me what happened and I went to resolve the problem. I
went into their room and asked Keith calming if he would come down off his bed
and sit down in a spot where I could join him. He obeyed and then I spoke
softly to him about why Hyrum felt the way he did and how I understood why he
had gotten upset with his brother. But then I explained to him about his baptism
companion. I reminded him of the Holy Ghost and that when we yell and get mad
and spank our brother, the Holy Ghost will leave. I could tell he felt really
sad about making the Spirit leave and I could tell he understood what he should
have done instead. The message got across to him and we left our conversation
with the Spirit in the room again.
Second example (45 minutes later): Hyrum had disappeared for
a while and I was wondering where he had gone off to. Keith discovered that he
was going to the bathroom, so I went to double check that everything was
alright since he had been in there for a while. I heard the flush and I opened
the door to see the toilet completely full of toilet paper struggling to go
down the toilet. I went from zero to a hundred in the loose-it-scale in two
seconds. Hyrum instantly knew I was mad and began to wail (which is what he
always does when he knows he’s in trouble) I stomped my feet and slapped his
mouth (mostly because he was screaming so loud) and exclaimed how this was a
bad choice. He had used about five feet of toilet paper (that I could tell) to
wipe his bum, and from past sleuthing I know that this wasn’t the first time he
had done it. In the past week I had noticed that we were going through toilet
paper three times faster than normal and that Hyrum was spending more time in
the bathroom than usual, but I had never caught him in the act to prove my
suspicions. I love my child, but at that moment I cared more about toilet paper
than his feelings. I cared more about the waste and the possible overflow, than
about teaching him about appropriate usage of t.p.
I couldn’t believe that I could react so completely opposite
in such a short space of time. I keep thinking I’m making leaps and bounds in
the “Becoming Christ like” category, only to be shown that I am crawling at a
snail’s pace toward Christ with huge “Green Giant” setbacks.
Now I don’t want this to be an “oh, poor Allie, she is
trying her hardest, its ok to make mistakes because that is how you learn from
them” journal entry.
I’m journaling this and sharing it because I bet there are
other mothers out there who have felt the same way some point in their mothering
carriers. You are not alone. We have all lost it, and we have all kept our cool
at different times. The important thing for me to work on is exactly what I
told Keith earlier in the day. I told him when he felt angry feelings in his
heart to pray for them to go away. To ask Heavenly Father to help him not be
mad at his brother so that the Spirit wouldn’t leave. I had failed to follow my
own advice. The Lord did not put “pray always” in the scriptures because it
sounded nice. He meant it! Pray ALWAYS. Because as I learned today, things can
go downhill extremely fast, and the only thing stopping all of us from going into
“Scary Mommy Mode” is the Holy Ghost. I loved conference so much! I went back
through my notes and almost everything I wrote down is exactly what I needed to
hear today after this mothering fiasco.
Elder Maynes: We must be centered in Christ, we are the
clay, He is the Potter
Sister Marriott: If you do your best, it will all work out
Elder Lawrence: The Holy Ghost makes an ideal traveling
companion, count blessings instead of challenges. The Spirit shows our weakness
and our strengths
Elder Cook: Exercising self-control is like exercising a
muscle, the Holy Ghost is a cleansing agent
Elder Holland: His WHOLE TALK is about mother’s being like
Christ and being able to say “Father I finished the work thou gavest me to do”
Elder Foster: My children were His children before they were
mine
President Monson: Kindness, forgives, charity, let your
light shine
Elder Rasband: What kind of legacy will I leave my children?
Love, reach out, repent, forgive
Elder Stevenson: Focus on what I can do, not what I can’t do
Elder Renlund: See people through God’s eyes to be filled
with the pure love of Christ
President Nelson: We need women! Covenant keeping women!
President Eyring: Increase my desire to have the spirit with
me, constant quest to have the spirit
Elder Clark: Simple obedience brings the spirit into our
hearts. Have eyes to see and ears to hear
Elder Aoyagi: Trials and heartache are part of our journey
Elder Bednar: Only do what matters most
It is a good thing I have eternity to become like Christ.
The important thing is to not give up, but persevere. There will be great days
filled with the Spirit, and the harder days don’t have to be as hard if I
remember to pray and ponder the scriptures and keep my covenants so I always
have the Spirit to be with me.
I hope this brings some peace to other amazing moms out
there! Don’t give up! God is on our side.
Our summer has seemed to go whirling past and now we are into Fall. I have a hard time believing we accomplished so many things. Two trips to Washington, camping, gardening, canning, teaching Hyrum to ride a two wheeler, school started again, church callings, Nate back in school. It is a LOT. I feel rejuvenated watching Conference and I am excited to fill my life with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, find joy in the journey, invite the Spirit to dwell in my heart, ponderize, and teach my children to respect the barriers in their life.
Nathaniel is a mover! He is definitely a type 1 energy (if you have read the Child Whisperer). He just figured out how to coordinate his arms and legs to crawl, but mostly does "the worm". Still haven't managed to get him to sleep longer than four hours at night most nights, but he is worth the lack of sleep.
Here are some videos I took in that last week off how cute my kids are :)
The Lord truly watches over us and is involved in all of the decisions in our lives, big or small. My side of the family had a reunion and originally when they were planning it we were not going to attend because Nate would be in school that semester. But last year Nate felt like he needed to take a break, so he took winter semester off and then deferred spring semester. This allowed us to go to the reunion and have all of my family together for the first time in two years. What an amazing blessing it was to all be together! Vacations are very hard when you have to be the responsible adult and plan everything, pack, drive with five kids, deal with injuries, have a baby get thrown off his schedule, and all sleep in the same room.....BUT, even with all those hard parts it was still the best two weeks we could have spent this year. And not knowing when the next time will be for us to all be together made it even more meaningful.
Over the two weeks we spent time with Matt, Lanae and their children, Nate's parents, Twyla and Aaron, and my WHOLE family. Wahoo! It was great!
At two rest stops Keith and Hyrum got hurt, its a good thing we had our first aid kits!
Sam, Kimmy holding Nathaniel
He loves his feet!
Derrick feeding a goat at Aunt Lanae's house
Tire swing fun!
Cousins in a tree
We played at a river near the Dickson's home and we cooled off in the 95 degree weather! Grandpa got really into it!
Got to see my wonderful friend Elizabeth Sant for a few hours too :)
Twyla, Allie, Elizabeth
Addison with his bride to be, and Natalie
Grandpa and Nathaniel
Ferry ride to Kingston
Nathaniel and Brigham
Derrick fell asleep in Grandpa's hamock
Nathaniel all bundled up at the ocean
David building sand castles with Natalie, Abi and Keith
Wagstaff Family
Hyrum
Sonja
Hiking to Second Beach...This was a fun day, but also emotionally draining for me. I was overwhelmed with Nathaniel and the amount of attention he was needing and how tired he was but refusing to sleep. Nate came back from exploring with the kids and saw I needed a break and took baby so I could go off by myself for a while and cry. After that the day was so much better!
On Saturday it rained off and on, but the kids still wanted to go to the beach so Nate took them to Rialto beach while I stayed at the cabin with baby.
Hyrum got caught off guard by a wave and is soaked!
Back in Kingston, Nathaniel is happy, happy!
How many grandkids can you count in this tree???
Grandma and Nathaniel
It was an amazing trip! Thank you so much Mom and Dad Burt for all the time and effort and planning you put into this! We will never forget it.
Video # 1: Derrick playing in Grandpa Dickson's amazing Lego Loft! With murals painted by Twyla Mahelona
