Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas everyone.I am just leaving on holidays so you will not be hearing from me for the next week.Have fun, relax and enjoy.I hope that you will have some spare time to escape from the ordinary!What are you going to do this Christmas?

A moment captured...

Τα γενέθλια μου τα γιόρτασα το Σάββατο στον Σταυρό του Νότου όπου έπαιζε ο Φίλιππος Πλιάτσικας. Θέλω να μοιραστώ 2 σκέψεις μου από εκείνο το βράδυ. Από το μπαλκόνι παρακολουθούσα τον κόσμο κάτω που ήταν άνθρωποι μεγαλύτεροι σε ηλικία και είχαν έρθει με την οικογένεια τους. Σκεφτόμουν ότι αυτοί οι άνθρωποι δεν έχουν πάει σε κάποιο σκυλάδικο αλλά έχουν έρθει να δουν κάτι που έχει ηλεκτρικές κιθάρες και ξέρουν τους στίχους. Αυτο με έκανε να χαρώ!Το δεύτερο που με έκανε να χαίρομαι είναι ότι έπαιξαν διασκευές από Placebo, Cure και Radiohead.Πραγματικά δεν το περίμενα.Ο Πλιάτσικας και η μουσικη παρέα του τραγούδησαν πολλές διασκευές και λιγότερο Πυξ Λαξ.Ο ίδιος φαινόταν πολύ σεμνός, η παρέα του ίσως να τραγούδησε και περισσότερο απο τον ιδιο και πολλά τραγούδια απλά τα συνόδευε με την κιθάρα του.Αυτές οι σκέψεις και οι φίλοι μου που ήταν μαζί έκαναν αρνητικές εικόνες που σχετιζόταν με το μαγαζί να χαθούν.Άντε και στον Παυλίδη που θα εμφανιστεί σύντομα.

Six Feet Under....

I am watching lately a series that I loved from the very first episode.Its called Six Feet Under and it portrays the life of a family that run a funeral business.It sounds a bit macabre I know but it uncovers the topic of death and consequently life from different points of views, from religion to agnosticism as people deal with death differently.In every episode the series starts by showing the death of an unknown character whose funeral service will occur in Fishers and Sons funeral home.We can see the way that the relatives react,learn a bit about the person and the way that the Fishers are dealing with death.We can also learn about the commercial aspects of death and the ways that funeral homes run their business.The Fishers are a family that is hanging between functional and dysfunctional.Apart from dealing with people in grief daily they have also experienced a loss in their family and have to cope with that.The characters are complex and yet simple that go through life ordeals as they realize that life can change in an instance.This is really a series that combines drama, black comedy and the most accurate psychological profiles I have ever seen.

It is no wonder that the creator of the series is the Oscar award winning Alan Ball that created the film American Beauty. The series has also won various awards and has reached season 5. The complexity and simplicity of the characters portrayed, the existential angsts given through comedy and drama make this series something really special.It is at times quite surreal and this is the strong aspect of the series.Its a series worth seeing and every episode truly provides food for thought.That is if you are not too scared of mortuaries and cemeteries.Wait, I take it back. If you really are scared of the concept of death maybe it is essential that you watch this series; perhaps there you can find some answers.

Love is not a competition

This girl is always in a constant competition with her boyfriend. I can imagine her keeping a notebook were she collects in detail all the mistakes of her boyfriend. Surely she records the date and time that he makes them so that she can prove her point. Well she always remembers his mistakes and she is believes that she is always right. She is very antagonistic and wants to do better than him. In company she doesn’t let him talk and degrades him often. She says she is in love.

This boy is always holding back. He doesn’t express too much emotion because he wants to maintain a mystery in his relationship. He is saying to his girlfriend that if they separate he will be the one that will separate first. He is neglecting her and with his friends they mutually take decisions. He always mentions to her about his past relationships. He is always competing in order to maintain a cool facade and show that he does not need her. He is keeping a record in his notebook and actually counts the times that he is affectionate. He doesn’t want to cross his limit. He claims he is in love.

This girl wants to be adored. She wants her boyfriend to be constantly jealous. She provokes him daily so as to make him jealous by telling stories about the men that gave her a look or a phone number. When he is not jealous she is mad and tells him that he doesn’t love her. But when other girls look at her boyfriend she is even more furious. He is not allowed to make her feel jealousy. She is keeping a record of her successes that need to be higher than her boyfriends. She needs to be in control of her relationship. She says she is in love.

This boy is with his girlfriend because she is beautiful. He is introducing to his friend his new girlfriend as if she was a trophy. He doesn’t want to know much about her. She has to fit in his life but he will not make a space for her. No compromises, no changes. His best friend tried to kiss her but he did not mind as he likes the world to feel jealous. He says he is in love.

(art by krecha)

False Memories

"One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place."
Emily Dickinson

In a study that was published by the Journal of Applied Cognitive Psychology participants viewed photographs of the Tiananmen Square protest in Beijing that occurred in the 80's and the protest against the Iraq war which took place in Rome in 2003.The researchers dived into two groups people that had participated on the demonstrations; and showed to one group digitally altered images of the events and to another group the original images. The researchers discovered that the manipulation of the photos influenced the memory of the participants. In the photos that were manipulated as being violent where there was no violence, the participants even described even more violent incidents like injuries and damages that were never recorded. They discovered that misleading information and propaganda can actually alter people’s memory of the event. They conclude that very easily mass media can alter the way that we view a past event even when we have experienced it and that it can actually change they way that we view historical events.

I think that its a very interesting finding that confirms the power of the mass media and propaganda has on people. I think that another interesting thing that was not mentioned is that people sometimes tend to describe the events that they have lived as more dramatic anyway; to give emphasis as to how important their experience was. Apart from the role of mass media I think that maybe we as people tend to distort our memories as we grow older. Maybe not distorting actual events rather than its significance and impact. Moreover, we tend to suppress memories that are painful and there are times that we don't even trust our own memories and rely on others recollections.

All these is quite interesting especially if you believe like me that we are defined by our own memories.

Inside a deep well...

In our lives we all go through moments that are particularly difficult. Moments in which everything seems to be going wrong; times where an unpleasant event succeeds another. Usually unpleasant incidents attack as a group. It’s as if misfortune likes company and just waits to test ones limits as to how much he or she can handle. I am reading this novel by Haruki Murakami that is titled “The wind up bird chronicle”.

The protagonist observes a series of unfortunate events happening to him and we engage in his struggle to cope and rediscover his lost happiness. When he was younger the protagonist remembers a wise elder that told him “that when you are going down find the deepest well and stay there”. Years later when everything in his life started to fall apart he remembers the elder words and he actually finds a deep and dry well and stays there day in order to think. He then distances himself from reality, even forgetting his own material existence as he stays in the dark well. He re-visits his memories and thoughts and by staying deep inside a well he attempts his first steps to recovery. It s like what many people say that sometimes you have to die in order to be reborn into someone that is more happier and healthier. I thought that this well metaphor is actually really beautiful. And only a Japanese author could turn something that is metaphoric to an act that would transform a character. Just had to share.

Really what is amazing as we are so complex individuals is that everyone has a different way of coping with the misfortunes that life throws at us.

(art by pesare)

A cup of tea

Sometimes there is just not enough time!This is what happened to me lately if you are wondering!I am missing this blog but there was not just enough time this past months. The truth is that the little time I have left aside from work, hobbies etc I spend it with friends and boyfriend.And I read a lot every night at least two hours before I go to bed; unless I come late home and have an early wake.This time is really a creative time for me but not in the field of writing.Since I did not have much time to go online this month,do have an online cup of tea with me and tell me how you all are my blog friends.I will be back and did miss your blogs!Μάκια!

(art by annie julie)

A bug...

Psychosis is a state when one can not distinguish what is real and what is not.During a psychotic episode individuals experience a state where they hear , smell or experience things that are not happening.Psychosis can be so scary for the person that experiences those episodes as it affects cognition, perception, mood, behaviour and movement. Genetics and environmental factors define the onset and prognosis of any type of psychosis.As I have said many times those individuals with the appropriate help can be functional and learn to control the psychotic episodes.Of course psychotic episodes can also be drug induced or brief psychotic episodes that appear in a stressful period of ones life and leave as sudden as they appeared.

Last week I watched on the theater a play called "bug". The whole story is unveiled in a motel room where Agnes is leaving in fear as she finds out that her ex husband is on parole. Then her friend comes to visit her and they stay drinking and snorting cocaine in her room.Her friend introduces Agnes to Peter a person that she recently met.They are left alone and start falling in love.After they make love Peter starts observing bugs inside the sheets.Agnes can not see them but Peter says that they are really small and feed of our skin.Then Agnes finds a secret.Peter said that he was in the army where they experimented on him and things start to get worse.More bugs and an interplay of fantasy and reality.

Throughout out the play are mentioned many conspiracy theories.Conspiracy theories can leave people living in fear, in agony, in terror in an almost psychotic states sometimes.Can actually conspiracy theories induce psychosis?Can they make people even more vulnerable to any government and media demands?So many thoughts on psychosis....

(art by krecha)

Piracy may save music...

Lately more bands are giving the opportunity to their fans to download their songs for free or to buy their cd at a smaller price like Radiohead and Charlatans.The past years the record labels and the media have struggled against piracy by using the motto " piracy kills music". As they watch the record sales dropping, they have adopted an aggressive policy towards those who download or distribute music for free.In that battle even bands participated like that would actually go to court with their fans (Lars Ulrich vs Napster).

I believe that piracy does not kill but actually saves music.The record sales have been reduced over the past years but for me the cause is not the free exchange of music.The record labels exploit their artists and the price of the cd's its really unnecessarily high. Moreover, artists due to the pressure of the record labels have started to release records that are not worth buying. They have one or two hits on their album and then the rest of the album is of a bad quality.Why then would someone want to buy their record? If a record is good then through free downloading a wider audience can listen to their music.Don't forget that its impossible to buy every cd that we like. Then if their work is decent many people will buy their record regardless if they can get it for free. They will buy it to see the artwork, to read the lyrics, to have a good quality sound and mostly to support the artist or band.

When a band is worth people will buy their album and support it. Their music will be listened by a wider audience and in that sense piracy saves music.The only thing that a band or an artist needs to do to sell is to respect their audience.

(art by honeychick)

The curious world of David Lynch

“Inland Empire is about a woman in trouble and it’s a mystery, and that’s about all I want to say about it”

David Lynch for me is more than a talented director; he is an artist. The Lost Highway haunted my adolescence and introduced me to a different form of narrative and storytelling. His films are thought provoking, based on detail and surely leave anyone watching thinking the plot for the following days. Even when someone thinks that his films are too weird can’t deny that they are thought provoking.

His films are surreal, metaphorical and refer to the inner soul or mind. They are like traveling inside a labyrinth. The “Blue Velvet”, “Mulholland Drive”, “The Elephant Man” “Lost Highway” and “Twin Peaks” are just a few of his masterpieces. A critique wrote “Lynch's films are tragedies about the overwhelming tendency for people to condemn themselves to a world of darkness and confusion, by succumbing to violence and the desire to control others. " He is an artist that is not afraid to explore the humans psyche darkest aspects and often comes to surprising conclusions. Apart from his film making; he is a painter, a sculptor and a photographer.

After Mulholland Drive he released his new film Inland Empire. It was released last year but due to circumstances I missed the cinema screening. I watched it a few days ago and I still can’t get it out of my head. His new film definitely is the most difficult and weirdest of all. Many people that like his films thought that this time he took it too far. Inland Empire is too weird. It leaves you after viewing wandering how the stories connect and makes you want to watch it for another four times in order to understand it.

For me this film is simply another masterpiece. Its true that it leaves you hanging but it is filled with some killer lines, a great atmosphere and nightmare like images. I think that people are trying too hard to understand his films as his films are like a painting. It can provoke mixed feelings and people can come up to different assumptions about what it portrays. However, like a painting, its profound, thought provoking, original and has an identity. I do urge you to watch it with an open mind.

Unconditionally....

We live our lives in the company of others that most of the times love us conditionally, help us conditionally, hang out with us conditionally. This is not necessarily bad because people need each other but it does depend on the conditions and compromises that each of us accept when forming relationships. There is no right measure I think but this really depends on each individual and each relationship. However, sometimes in our lives we learn that there is a love that can be unconditional. Someone might approach us and love us posing no terms. This love can be friendship, romance or a platonic kind of love. But it happens to be unconditional and we can either embrace it, or we can deny it and hurt the one that loves us most. Of course there is always the chance that we don't even notice something nice happening to us...

There is a song stuck in my head that was originally by Kate Bush but I prefer the Placebo version. It’s just being played over and over inside my head the past week. People can interpret the lyrics as they want and this is the beauty of art and music. For me its a bitter sweet song about overcoming life's difficulties, about switching places with a person that you care while you approach him or her unconditionally. Mostly its about all unconditional and real relationships in life....

It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?
You be running up that hill
You and me be running up that hill

And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh...

You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.
There is thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?

(Art by pesare.)
You can listen the song in my playlist

A political dead end....

"Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary"

The coming elections have stirred an upheaval in the country.The TV channels are constantly broadcasting shows that concern the coming elections and cast the politicians at their panels. They are all loud, they talk simultaneously and none of them has a clear political stance. All the politicians no matter if they belong to the center, right or left are all the same because what it is important for them is to maintain their prosperity and cultivate amongst us the need to be governed. Its so funny to see so many politicians that appear on television panels just before the elections that soon after will disappear from the news. They will not only disappear because the elections would be over so there is no need to persuade the voters anymore but also because they don't care for the common good. Politicians vanish from the face of the earth as easy as they appear and to me they all look like salesmen.They knock on your door only to sell something.

Personally non of the parties satisfy me;to me they are all the same. At the same time a stateless state is completely Utopian at this age and time ;so I find my self in a political dead end. No one really cares other than him self in order to offer something new for the greater good.However, just for a philosophical reflection I would like to end this article with a quote by Proudhon and only hope that who gets elected causes the least damage.I would be interested in your ideas concerning what could release us from this political dead end...If you think that is that there is a dead end.

"To be governed is to be watched over, inspected, spied on, directed, legislated, regimented, closed in, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, assessed, evaluated, censored, commanded; all by creatures that have neither the right, nor wisdom, nor virtue... To be governed means that at every move, operation, or transaction one is noted, registered, entered in a census, taxed, stamped, priced, assessed, patented, licensed, authorized, recommended, admonished, prevented, reformed, set right, corrected. Government means to be subjected to tribute, trained, ransomed, exploited, monopolized, extorted, pressured, mystified, robbed; all in the name of public utility and the general good. Then, at the first sign of resistance or word of complaint, one is repressed, fined, despised, vexed, pursued, hustled, beaten up, garroted, imprisoned, shot, machine-gunned, judged, sentenced, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed, and to cap all, ridiculed, mocked, outraged and dishonored. That is government, that is its justice and its morality! ...O human personality! How can it be that you have cowered in such subjection for sixty centuries?"

He predicts a riot

There are some people that really mean what they believe. Even though at times they seem extreme it’s really amazing that they really stand up to what they believe. More importantly not only they stand up to what they believe but they also practice their beliefs in their daily lives. Nowadays these individuals are a species that is facing existence .

One of my friends is a punk parent. He never pressured his child to believe in a god, never pressured his child to be something other than herself.I think that his child is the happiest girl I have ever seen! He loves nature and the proof is that he never owned a car. He went around the city with his punk bicycle. He recycles every day and respects nature. He is against animal testing and he is a vegan. He doesn’t listen to CDs only supports DIY record labels that are non-profit. He never liked to read magazines but only handmade fanzines. He is a punk from 1977 the year that punk started and is still today. He never wanted to buy a TV as he believes that TV kills creativity.He is a giving caring person that helps without a second thought his friends when they are in need.

His lifestyle might seem extreme for many but he really stands for what he believes. I never told him but I am lucky that I have met him. I am lucky that we are friends for more than a decade.Even though I also find some things extreme he taught me that your beliefs are the most important thing that anyone has. No matter what your beliefs are its important to stand up for yourself. Even more; when you are alone and no one is watching it is important to practice the ethical rules that you believe .So many people support something that is contradictory to the way they live and many times they lie to themselves; but not him. I never told you, even though once I told you my objections, I am so incredibly proud of you my friend.I don't admire him because he is a punk, there are still many out there and many are horrible, I admire him because he doesn't lie to himself and others. He is not afraid to be nothing more than who he is.

(photo by girltripped)

The cry of the forest

"He who plants a tree, plants hope..."

After the ecological disaster that the fires provoked in Greece there are few words left to be said. The shocking realization is what the inhabitants of this country lack the most is ecological awareness. It is a shame that we tend to remember nature only when an ecological disaster occurs. We live in a country where you have to search hard in order to find a place to deposit material for recycling. Most people have never recycled in their lives. We live in a country that hasn't taught people to respect nature and without regrets we throw our garbage and burning cigarettes outside our car window. We live amongst people that do not respect animals and the role that they play in our ecosystem rather we view them only as food material. We live in a place that has not employed enough fire-fighters and the ones that we have are not adequately trained. We live in a country that has not created an escape plan in case of emergency. We live in a country that the protection of the ecosystem was never on the agenda. We live in a country where its people in order to explain the unexplainable create conspiracy theories and look behind their fingers.

The country is certainly to be blamed for years of neglect.
The country should not only be blamed but its inhabitants as well that avoid responsibility.
Unfortunately we live in a country that things are easily forgotten...
I write this so that something can be remembered.

(image by pesare)

Pay it forward

“You don't pay back a favor, you pay it forward.”

It starts with a schoolteacher setting an assignment for 11 year old children. “Think of an idea that could change our world and put it into action”. This assignment inspires a child to create the idea of pay it forward. The idea is that when someone is doing something important for you instead of returning the favor back to the person that helped you; you help three other people that are in need. This can be a small act but surely its an act of consideration for others and it can evoke kindness to other strangers. This was portrayed as a boy’s idea to change the world. The movie is actually really good as apart from the brilliant actors there is portrayed an accurate psychodrama of people that face difficulties. The movie was inspired by the book of Catherine Ryan Hyde and actually I was amazed to discover that it inspired the emergence of non-profit foundations and classroom material.

Kevin Spacey was setting a really hard question not only to children but to mankind in general. What each and everyone can contribute to make the world just a tiny bit better. And don’t forget the world is not an abstract big place; it is your family, friends, neighbors, fellow human and environment. Many social, and political movements have theorized throughout history on ideas that could improve the world and not much has happened. If complex theories have not succeeded in improving the world can a simple act of kindness succeed? Then I started thinking what I have ever done to improve this world.

(art by pesare)

Three minutes to live

A person wakes up in the morning as he does usually every day to prepare for work.When he goes into the bathroom he realizes that he has something like a bomb detonator embedded on his chest.He tries to remove it but he can't.In the short time left before the machine reaches the end time he has not even time to call for help.He doesn't know who to call, the police, the fire brigate or the hospital.There is just no time!He has only three minutes to live.He is desperate and he tries to call for his neighbors but there is no one there.Or maybe no one opens, the depiction of the cities isolation.

During the last minutes thoughts come in mind.Thoughts mixed with panic would come in mine.For goodbyes and things that was never said.For things that was neglected, for things not yet just lived.For regrets and things that could be different if ego was not a barrier.At this moment nothing matters but truth and ego, barriers and inhibitions sound silly.The story was depicted in the new video clip by brilliant U.N.K.L.E and this was the effect that it had on me. I think that I would remember that when ego and other inhibitions come on the way or when I simply wait for the right time to present itself.When things that are meant to be said remain untold.When there is only one time and maybe the right time never appears because of lack of time.I guess the right time is the time at any given moment.Now not later...

Watch the video burn my shadow I am sure that you will make your own reflections....That was mine...

City Escape and blog thoughts

This is time to escape the city,to look after ourselves and enjoy the summer. Now what I plan to do is to swim a lot, go for holidays, go out a lot with friends and read plenty of books.A reason that I love summer so much is because the roads become lively as people go out of their houses a lot.Even the ones that entrap themselves within a house at least open their window, they open their window to the world.

Have a beautiful summer and on September I have already lots of things to write.However, its difficult for me to stay long in the computer and I think I do need a break.I was reading an article the other day in a blog where he was saying that people who start a blog must be a bit vain or at least self-centered if their blog is a diary of thoughts .What an interesting thought!I don't know if I am vain but I certainly need the expression even though I am very sociable and expressive.I might be a bit vain in the sense that I like my self and that I believe that what I write matters.I am happy that I believe that what I write matters and that I can influence or touch others.If we believed that what we said or did didn't matter then we would never start anything.

At the same time during this last blog year there was a time that I wanted to quit when I realised that some blogs served the purpose of dating and bitching without arguments. But society is like that and I guess the blog community is a microcosmos of society. If people are so eager to back stab you then why not attempting to do that in a blog community.However, this is not something that affects me; a person has to do what they have to do and I can chose what to read.

In the blogs I learned news faster than anyone and news were followed with a variety of arguments something that the media does not provide a reader.I have also met and made lots of blog friends that have never met but their ideas, opinions are inspiring and look forward as always to read more of their articles and discover bits of their personalities.

I think that blogs are like traveling in a foreign country.The more blogs you read the more open minded you become as you get acquainted to different ideas.Of course there always people that only want to find people that would enable them only to strengthen their ideas and fit in a group.Well, its their loss....

Shuffle me...

Stormrider invited me to shuffle a playlist in my winamp and answer each question with the random song that I hear. I chose the most diverse playlist to shuffle.Some of the songs do match and some don't but it surely was loads of fun to do it. So here we go:

If someone says "is this ok" then you say:

This monkey gone to heaven-Pixies

What would best describe your personality?

Seven Nation Army-White Stripes (I am not that strong)

What do you look in a guy?

Common People-Pulp (that was my song!)

How do you feel today?

Yellow-Coldplay (so happy)

What is your lives purpose?

Sheena is a punk rocker-Ramones (finally a serious goal)

What is your life motto?

Demystification-Zounds (sadly I love mystery)

What do your friends think of you?

The mercy sit-Nick Cave (vote pixie for rescue )

What do you think of your parents?

Bigmouth strikes again-The Smiths (so true)

What is 2+2

No surprises-Radiohead (wow)

What do you think of your best friend?

Mala Vida-Mano Negra (χι, χι)

What do you think of the person you like?

Crestfallen-Smashing Pumpkins (nice one)

What is your life’s story

Purity-New Model Army (what meaningful lyrics)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Eternal-Paradise Lost (nice occupation!)

What do you think when you see the person you like?

Where is my mind-Pixies (pixies rule my life)

What will they play at your funeral?

Take me out -Franz Ferdinand (so funny what a denial!)

What is your hobby/interest?

Sunburn -Muse(no but love the song)

What is your biggest fear?

Dirge-Death in Vegas

What is your biggest secret?

The only one I know-The Charlatans (confirming the title!)

What do you think of your friends?

Fools Gold-The Stone Roses (friends are gold!)

It would have also been interesting to answer every question by deliberately choosing a song or a verse instead of randomly.But shuffling is fun too and can be enlightening...ggk, apotheosis, liliputeios,khayman,wildflowersoul,dawkinson,narita,optimus shuffle if you want...

(art by only one musa)

Estranged friends....

There is one person in my life that I considered a best friend and now we are estranged. The world is so small that it’s true that you can meet anyone by chance. I was at the beach with my boyfriend and I saw him. The first feeling I had was anger and then evolved into sympathy. Within a year he got married and had a child. What hurts me is that we used to be like brother and sister for so many years and now we are complete strangers as if there was never a friendship. I haven’t seen his child, I was not invited at the wedding, I never met his girlfriend and this hurts me the most.

We met when I was 16 at a concert. He liked me at first but I made it clear from the start that I was not interested but he persisted to meet me because he said that he never met someone that he could connect so well and we became friends. We were going out with our common friends and talked about everything. We had relationships and life went on. We shared holidays, birthdays, daily life, important and unimportant moments. We both studied in England but in different universities and I use to visit him and his girlfriend very often. He met all my boyfriends and traveled for my graduation. We both graduated and we came back in Greece.

Then something happened…When he introduced me to an old friend and now my current boyfriend he realized that we might form a relationship. But I was shocked to find out that he was not happy at all. The lies that he told, the cruel words that he said were unbelievable! The possessiveness that he expressed was unimaginable it was as if he was someone else. As a result everything changed in a week. The glass broke and there was no glue to be found.

We did not speak then for two years and then he called me to say that he is sorry but it was so difficult to forget what happened. I tried but some things just can’t heal no matter how hard you want them to. There is a limit and that limit was crossed. We went out but it was obvious that we talked like complete strangers.Then silence...Then following another year he called me and told me that he is going to be a father because his girlfriend is pregnant. He got married and I was not invited at the wedding. His wife does not know I ever existed and I am left with a rollercoaster of emotions inside me.

So we are back at the beach. I am praying that he doesn’t see me or that he doesn’t speak to me but there he is approaching me .I did not want to speak to him because I hate making small talk conversation with someone that knew every little thing about me. How can I talk with someone that I loved so much about the weather?

When we started talking I realized that I still care about him. The anger that I first felt when I saw him turned to sympathy. I am sad because he abandoned me at a time that was difficult for me, said things I know he did not mean but was cruel, tried to destroy my relationship and then I told him that we need to part our own ways… I felt emptiness without him. After all, its not easy to have a best friend nowadays and I know he is a nice person. The people that know us told me that he was still in love with me after so many years. But I believe that he just felt threatened that something might change between us.

Close friends come apart and relationships collapse and leave you empty and heartbroken. But you still forgive and remember and find difficult to erase something that was meaningful. But the worst of all is to be forced to make small talk conversation and pretend that nothing ever happened with someone that you loved. I am sorry I just can’t talk with you about the weather!

(art by libelle)

Mind travels

O stormrider μου ζήτησε να γράψω 5 αγαπημένους προορισμούς διακοπών και με έχει βάλει σε απόλυτο κλίμα διακοπών. Μιας και λατρεύω τα ταξίδια με βάζει να ονειρεύομαι ακόμη πιο πολύ εξωτικές αποδράσεις. Δεν ξέρω αν εννοούσες μέρη που θέλω να πάω ή έχω πάει πάντως έγραψα κάποια μέρη που θεωρώ ιδανικά για διακοπές για διαφορετικούς λόγους το καθένα. Απλά θέλω να γυρίσω όλο τον κόσμο και νομίζω ότι κάθε μέρος έχει κάτι να ανακαλύψεις.

Mexico

Παραλίγο να πάω φέτος στον θείο μου για διακοπές αλλά το ταξίδι αναβλήθηκε για τον επόμενο χρόνο. Τα εισιτήρια μου έβγαιναν πολύ ακριβά για τον Ιούλιο. θέλω να πάω για να χαλαρώσω, γιατί λατρεύω το καυτερό φαγητό και γιατί θέλω να δω το Chichen Itz και να ανακαλύψω χαμένους Ινδιάνικους πολιτισμούς.

Ireland

Όταν πήγα δεν περίμενα αυτό που θα αντίκριζα. Υπέροχο πράσινο, απόκρημνα βράχια,κάστρα, κέλτικη μυθολογία και τον πιο χαρούμενο κόσμο που έχω γνωρίσει. Μια πόλη που δεν κοιμάται ποτέ. Ο κόσμος φιλικός και ευθύς.Σίγουρα θα μπορούσα να ζήσω για πάντα εκεί!

China

Θέλω να πάω στο Σινικό Τείχος και την απαγορευμένη πόλη. Θέλω να περιπλανηθώ στους δρόμους και να δω την παράδοση να φλερτάρει με το σήμερα.Θέλω να δω τους συμφοιτητές μου. θέλω να δώ τους ναούς και και να περιπλανηθώ στα χωριά.Θέλω να δω τις φυτείες ρυζιού.

Mallorca

Εξωτικές παραλίες είναι ότι χρειάζομαι αυτή την περίοδο. Να είμαι σε μια παραλία και να πίνω frozen margaritas. Κοντινός προορισμός και μια πανέμορφη πόλη.

India

Απλά μια εμπειρία ζωής αν υπάρχει χρόνος για περιπλάνηση.Ιστορία, αντιθέσεις και το Taz Mahal.

Από μέρη που έχω πάει η Σκωτία, Φλωρεντία και ο Νείλος ήταν μοναδικές εμπειρίες. Αν θέλουν ας γράψουν οι narita, ggk , apotheosis ,sunshine και wildflowersoul.

Mindfulness teachings

A little girl is wondering in a magical garden. The garden is full of flowers and beautiful trees. She observes the peaceful garden and feels relaxed. She is walking and at the end of the garden she notices a stair that leads to a beautiful beach. With every step that she makes to approach the beach she feels more and more relaxed. She feels calm, content and relaxed. When she reaches the beach she sits there and she draws a circle. Nothing outside this circle can hurt her. Even so the girl did something unusual. She began to cry…

I admire eastern philosophies that teach inner transformation and tranquility. Something that requires a sacrifice that for most people is hard to handle. That is the freedom from attachments. One of the teaching of Buddha and his major philosophy is that human suffering ends when one becomes free from the attachments that cause him to feel loss, anger and despair. Because I acknowledge what eastern philosophies have to offer I can’t help to be critical of certain aspects of it.

Imagine then a world that everyone would be free of attachments. Imagine a world where everyone would experience a state of nirvana and would have achieved high levels of enlightenment. Nirvana is “mode of being that is free from mind-contaminants such as lust, anger or craving; a state of pure consciousness and bliss unobstructed by psychological conditioning. All passions and emotions are transformed and pacified such that one is no longer subject to human suffering.”

Although I understand its value it sounds so boring to me. The greatest thinkers, the greatest works and achievements have been created because some people have experienced misery, sadness, lust, anger and emotional upheavals. I think that one should not forget that all emotions exist for a reason and life is about experiencing emotions even if they are exaggerated sometimes. Even sadness can help us appreciate and distinguish happiness. For me what is described as a pacified emotion resembles an emotional prison or dullness. All emotions are experienced by all of us and they signify that we are alive. What I do value concerning eastern teachings is Zen and the importance of enjoying silence. However, no one can determine what can bring happiness or stop human suffering as my happiness is not your happiness, my suffering is not your suffering. There can’t be a universal law.

(photography by citizen four "the balance")

The way that we gossip...

"No one gossips about other peoples secret virtues"
Bertrand Russel

When my cousin came from overseas she watched the gossip television shows and the gossip news. Even though she can’t speak Greek fluently I was amazed with how much she could understand when she watched this gossip show over dinner. She told me that she is amazed that these shows came to Greece finally as in Latin America they exist for more than 10 years. She said it as if it was the most natural thing, a part of a culture and a sign of progression and modernity.

My problem is not so much that many people enjoy watching these gossip shows as they can exercise their personal choices. Theorists claim that gossip is something that facilitates communication and consequently we all become frequently the carriers of rumors. What annoys me is the way that we gossip . The gossip shows and the gossip news and in particularly a Greek channel have taken a different turn recently. The "journalists" that present them are not only gossiping but also they devalue, disrespect and frequently are immoral towards the people that they gossip. They have become hate mediums in which one day they love a celebrity and idealize them and the other day they devalue him so much that can easily destroy their career. I feel that by watching these shows with this hateful comments we even encourage them to be even more spiteful and hateful. Not to mention the power and control that these gossip "journalists" have.

I think that the constant exposition to such hateful comments can have an impact to society as a whole. I think that we become more tolerant to hate and we too make really cruel and unjustified remarks for no reason and without evidence. I hear people condemning one another more frequently. Furthermore, we have forgotten the possibility that the gossip we hear could be just a false rumor and we tend to believe that the gossip we heard is an actual fact.

Gossip is a part of our lives and the extent from which we exercise varies from one individual to another. Without a doubt it has a function as it serves as a form of communication. However, we as society have surpassed the stage of gossip and have turned to the stage of immorality. The gossip is not bad by itself but the way it is exercised recently makes me really worried and angry.

(art by krecha)

Early memories...

Memories define our lives and yet we tend to remember and consciously recall events in our mid or late childhood. But if we make an effort and try to think back at our first memory, the first recollection of events that we ever had we will realize that we remember something that happened really early in our lives and people do not believe that this is possible.

Piaget believed that children do not form conscious memories in the preschool years. Latest research though has demonstrated that children could recall events even before they could talk. The infants that recall birth events and they demonstrate that in drawing as still they are unable to speak (Bauer 2004). Memories are certainly present not only amongst infants but also in the prenatal period. When mothers read stories in the last trimester to their babies’ research has indicated that babies could recognize the story during the first 33 hours after birth. Traumatic events in birth could not be consciously recalled but they are portrayed in adulthood as fear.

For some reason we can’t recall many events if any of our early childhood and the reason is “childhood amnesia”. Although from a relatively young age, children retain memories over long periods of time; younger children nevertheless exhibit faster rates of forgetting, relative to older children. But some events can be recalled and are usually events that have a sentimental value. Recollections of positive events (feelings of happiness and satisfaction); negative events (feeling sad); or events that captured our attention and curiosity.

I remember that I was dreaming that I was older and that I had a brother and we were playing. I also remember that when I woke up I was a baby inside a cradle. I can’t tell how old I was but I guess that I could yet not walk. I am positive that then I had not a brother as my brother came 4 years later and there was only one cradle in the room. Maybe my parents talked about having a brother and I saw this.This is my earliest memory and it was a dream.

(This article was inspired by syna’s beautiful article were she was describing a memory that she had when she was really young and that no one would believe her that she could actually remember. Your article inspired me to write a post, thank you).

(art by ploop)

More than an avatar...

Tα παιχνίδια τελικά είναι στη μόδα στα blog.To νέο είναι μια σειρά απο ερωτήσεις κάτι σαν μια συνέντευξη γενικού περιεχομένου που μου έκανε πρόσκληση ο narita. Toν ευχαριστώ και ανταποδίδω. Aρχίζω λοιπόν:

Η απολυτη ευτυχία για σας είναι;

Ότι πιο καθημερινό και μικρό θα μπορούσες να φανταστείς

Tι σας κάνει να σηκώνεστε το πρωί;

Τo κινητό μου και τρελή όρεξη

Η τελευταία φορά που ξεσπάσατε σε γέλια;

Χτες με ένα αστείο αλλά και βλέποντας στο 24 την φάτσα της Chloe O Brian.

Το βασικό γνώρισμα του χαρακτήρα μου είναι;

Ο αυθορμητισμός

Ποιο είναι το βασικό σας ελάττωμα ;

Η ανυπομονησία μου.

Σε ποια λάθη δίνετε επιείκεια;

Σε αυτά που δεν έγιναν σκόπιμα.

Με ποια ιστορική προσωπικότητα ταυτίζεστε;

Τον Cartman (south park), Calvin (Calvin and hobbs)

Ποιοι είναι οι αγαπημένοι σας ήρωες σήμερα;

Deconstruct your heroes...

Ποιο είναι το αγαπημένο σας ταξίδι;

Η Ιρλανδία και η Σκωτία απο αυτά που έχω πάει.

Ποιοι είναι οι αγαπημένοι σας συγγραφείς;

George Orwell, Tomas Hardy, Gaardner…τόσοι πολλοι...

Ποια αρετή προτιμάτε σε έναν άνδρα;

Χιούμορ και αυτοσαρκασμό.

Ποια αρετή προτιμάτε σε μια γυναίκα ;

Τρυφερότητα και αυτοσαρκασμό.

Ποιος είναι ο αγαπημένος σας συνθέτης;

Clint Mansell (π,requiem for a dream, the fountain)

To τραγούδι που σφυρίζετε στο ντούς;

Δεν σφυρίζω αλλά σιγοτραγουδάω, πολλά...Pure Morning by Placebo.

Ποιο βιβλίο σας σημάδεψε;

Η φάρμα των ζώων,το άρωμα

Ποια ταινία σας σημάδεψε;

Οταν ήμουν μικρή το "χορεύοντας με τους λύκους"Ο τζωνυ πήρε το όπλο του"και το "stand by me".Καθώς μεγάλωνα η Χαμένη λεωφόρος και το requiem.

Ποιος είναι ο αγαπημένος σας ζωγράφος;

Roy Lichtenstein,Frida Kahlo, Kandinsky

Ποιο είναι το αγαπημένο σας χρώμα;

πράσινο, κίτρινο, μαύρο...το ουράνιο τόξο

Ποια θεωρείτε τη μεγαλύτερη σας επιτυχία;

Το οτι είμαι εγώ και δεν με καταπιέζω συχνα με πρεπει.

Ποιο είναι το αγαπημένο σας ποτο;

Mπύρα, Caipiroska, margarita( δεν πίνω πολύ και ζαλίζομαι με μία μπύρα)

Για ποιο πράγμα μετανιωσατε περισσότερο;

Για κάποιον που πλήγωσα και με αγάπησε.

Τι απεχθάνομαι περισσότερο από όλα;

Την στασιμότητα

Όταν δεν γράφεται ποια είναι η αγαπημένη σας ασχολία;

Μουσική, ταινίες,βόλτα...

Ποιος είναι ο μεγαλύτερος σας φόβος;

Nα μην έχω καλή υγεία.

Σε ποια περίπτωση επιλέγετε να πείτε ψέματα;

Οταν κάπoιος δεν αντέχει την αλήθεια προτιμώ να σωπαίνω.

Ποιο είναι το μoτο σας;

Ζήσε το τώρα

Πως θα επιθυμούσατε να πεθάνετε;

Ευτυχισμένη

Εάν συνέβαινε να συναντήσετε το Θεό τι θα θέλατε να σας πει;

Ότι ονειρεύομαι.

Σε ποια πνευματική κατάσταση είστε αυτόν τον καιρό;

Ώρα για χαλάρωση. Ουφ τέλος το διάβασμα.

(Δεν ξέρω τι αντιπροσωπεύουν αυτά τα παιχνίδια και ποιος είναι ο εμπνευστής της συνέντευξης ίσως αντιπροσωπεύουν μια ανάγκη να μάθουμε κατι παραπάνω για τον αλλο και να δώσουμε μια μορφή σε αυτη την δικτυακή πραγματικότητα.Πισω απο τα avatars.Αν θέλουν οι stormrider, ggk, wildflower, apotheosis μπορουν να γράψουν...)

A blog game asking a set of questions that form an interview. The questions are in Greek so I answer them in Greek. If you don't speak Greek please use the translator from the tools menu that translates the page instantly in your language.

(photo by este)

Dear grandmother...

You know that I adore you and that I miss you. When I was young I spend all my summers with you and I have the most beautiful memories. To be honest I was happy to get away from the house and coming there felt like a sanctuary. You loved me and let me be myself and gave me the greatest lessons in life. You said that you wish that you could escape.The other relatives are fighting and gossiping all the time and you told me yourself that I am lucky to live in Athens and not in Crete. You always protected me from them and when they hurt me... you never forgot.

Today you called me and I feel so sad. I know that you are older and I know that life is short but it hurts me when you talk like that. I know that you have problems now that my grandfather has dementia and that instead of supporting you they are hurting you. Today you said to me that you call me because you want to hear my voice as you think that you will die soon. You said to me that you are sorry that you can’t live to see me married and happy because this is the only think that keeps you alive. It breaks my heart to hear you say this to me and... I told you that my father will come soon and he will come and get you. I know that you want to leave but you can’t escape from there… but I hope that you reconsider and look after yourself. There will be a chance for me to see you and you will see that I am happy. You know that we will not let you sit in a corner like the others do to you because you are useful and strong. My family loves you and I adore you. All I want to say is that I am so happy that you are my grandmother…mi abuelita.

(art by freckleface)

The citizen of the world...

"Own only what you can carry with you, know language know countries, know people.Let your memories be your travel bag..."

Knowledge for me is the greatest possession that one can have. Knowledge is empowering the people that possess it and is necessary for becoming better professionals in our work field. I have an inner curiosity for knowledge and I discovered this since I was very young as I loved to either read or have meaningful conversations.

I think that there are some people that will always study and I think that I fall into this category. Learning something new is not only empowering but its also fun and I have a linguistic fetishism as I love learning languages. When I have a deeper understanding of a language is like becoming a citizen of the world. I can understand at a deeper level different cultures and civilizations. Also because I love traveling knowing a language will enable me to be more than a tourist and actually be able to talk with the people I am meeting.

For the past years I have been learning Spanish and there are several reasons for that.I think that Spanish is the most beautiful language. A dream is to travel in Latin America and Barcelona. I am able to understand Spanish speaking language movies that are cool and weird. However, the past two weeks I have lost the fun out of Spanish because I have exams in a week to acquire the diploma. So, I study hard and I hope that the time to take the examination will come because I am tired.Then the fun will return. I think that after Spanish I might learn Japanese and then I will stop or maybe I will not; who knows.Knowledge is a never ending process...

(art by remote sunrise)

Peculiar worlds

“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.”

H. P. Lovecraft

I always loved reading science-fiction books. I am especially attracted to those writers that in their books have created a whole mythical universe. The mythical worlds can be worlds occupied by hobbits and dwarves, funny villains or people that travel in different dimensions. This is the reason that I love the Lord of the Rings, the Discworld and Stephen King’s odd places. But there was one writer that creates such an atmosphere in his books that enabled me to think that I am travelling in these peculiar worlds and meeting these peculiar creatures. His name is Howard Philip Lovecraft and his books have influenced many writers, musicians and the pop culture.

He was born in 1890 in Rhode Island. His father died when he was young and he was raised by his mother. He barely went to school as he had a fragile health. As a young boy he wrote a lot of poetry and his grandfather was the one that encouraged him to read fiction. He had many emotional difficulties as a child as his family poor financial state, the death of his grandfather and his mother admission to a mental hospital made him contemplate ending his life. Later one in his life he got married but shortly divorced. In the last decade of his life he was very productive as he wrote many stories that all have created a myth as many believed that he is unreal and peculiar. His stories are so powerful that people would believe that some creatures actually existed. He has mostly written short stories some of which are: The Call of Cthulhu, The Shadow over Innsmouth and The Dunwich Horror.

I don’t think that Lovecraft is just another horror fiction writer. His books are not about the endless struggle between good and evil. He presents worlds that drive people insane, our inability to control our actions and describe peculiar gatherings. Unlike other writers he is inspired by dreams and nightmares and many of his stories resemble a travel to a symbolic unconscious. Ultimately maybe his stories were about his struggle within himself and those stories provided a window were he could travel away with his imagination to other worlds that he created scary but yet familiar.

(art by nighty)

The labyrinth of the mind

“Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world”

R.D Laing (psychiatrist)

Suffering from a mental illness is like been trapped in a labyrinth. The labyrinth is dark and vast and it is difficult to find an exit. Those people are often labeled easily by the “normal” ones as being disturbed, crazy and scary. When a murder occurs we are ready to assume that this was an act of an insane person and we are ready to separate us from them because we are normal and they are not. For me what is normal is something relevant and the most gruesome acts can are caused by the so called “normal” people.

Before you haste to condemn and stigmatize someone for being crazy or psycho consider the following facts: People that suffer from a mental illness are not more likely to commit a murder that the so called “normal" people. In particular schizophrenics that have been stigmatized and feared are usually catatonic and passive. They are more likely become a threat to themselves as they often commit suicide and its rare to become a threat to others and can only happen if untreated. If a person that suffers from a mental illness commits a murder do not haste to assume that this happened because he/she had a mental illness. One should consider factors like the experiences and environment that interplay and this can be the cause of the excessive anger that is bottled up inside someone before they commit a crime. Even amongst serial killers what was discovered that they had in common was heavy consumption of alcohol and drugs that can elicit violent behavior. Violent behavior can also be elicited when someone has a personality disorder but again every person that has a personality disorder does not commit homicides. The causes are deeper and more complex and I think really we have to consider them individually with every case. The so called normal people are committing more murders.

The mind is a complex mechanism and there is always logic as to why things happen even behind the most gruesome acts. These acts are disturbing but society itself is disturbing and promotes violence, alienation and insecurity. Moreover, if there is a person that committed a murder and suffered from a mental illness it is sad for people that suffer from a disorder to be stigmatized. What they need is our support, ongoing treatment and a secure base so that they don’t feel that they are falling in the void.

(art by pesare)