I'm going to Disneyland!!!

And by "I'm going to Disneyland," I mean I went there about a month ago. Yep, this is the place where magic happens, people! I'm not gonna lie, I was wicked stoked to go on the ride that inspired the creation of, well, ME! How amazing is it that I got to ride Pirates of the Caribbean?! Super amazing!

Riding the tram into the park. SOOOO excited!

Yay Disneyland!!!

Captain Hook ain't got shit on me.

It's a small world, after all!

When elephants fly!

PIRATES!!!!!!!!!!

Someone painted a picture of me on this wall! I'm famous.

 One of the best parts of the trip (besides riding Pirates, of course!) was when we were on It's a Small World and the last room has different nationalities where everyone is dressed in white. My friend asked, "What world is this?" My response was, "I think it's heaven." Then she said, "There sure are a lot of Mexicans in heaven..." It was pretty much hysterical and don't worry, I'm not racist. I love me some Mexicans!

Mexican heaven room!

That's all, folks! Disneyland rocks my socks.

Viva Las Vegas!

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! At least, that's what I've heard some landlubbers say. Ironically, I saw a billboard that said, "Not everything that happens in Vegas stays... freestdcheck.org" on my drive home and it made me chuckle. Herpes! That shit will come back with you. I digress! Instead of keeping my Vegas adventures private, I'm going to share them with everyone because it was ridiculously entertaining.

I've gotta be honest, I consumed a large amount of alcohol in Vegas, so a lot of my memories are foggy. I'll post pictures and do my best to remember what exactly happened. Savvy? Savvy. Here goes.

First off, hotel hopping! Throughout the night, I ended up at Rio, Paris, Bellagio, and some other awesome places. It's true.

 

I ended up losing money on slot machines, resulting in locating some penny machines. Don't judge me.

 I may or may not have performed in some sort of religious ceremony?

 Picked up some wenches on the strip!

Close up!

And apparently, passed the eff out. Why is the rum always gone?!

Worry not, fellow rogues! Before passing out, I showed off my amazing dance moves. Enjoy!

Well hello, 2011!

I know that we're already 20 days into the new year, but that doesn't mean I can't still reminisce about good ol' 2010.

1.What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before? Went on a cruise!


2.Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year? I'm sorry, but PCJ is way too bad ass to make resolutions.


3.Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope. Didn't knock up any wenches. *wipes brow in relief*


4.Did anyone close to you die? Sadly, yes.


5.What countries did you visit? The Bahamas! Did I mention that I'm super bad ass?


6.What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010? More booty. More treasure. Mas cajones.


7.What date from 2010 will remain etched in your memory, and why? June 7th. Why? I know why.


8.What was your biggest achievement of the year? Not knocking up wenches! We don't need any mini PCJ's running around... or do we?


9.What was your biggest failure? Not winning the lottery! Epic fail right thurrr.


10.Did you suffer illness or injury? Just a few std's, but the doc said they won't come back!


11.What was the best thing you bought? Rum!!! Oooh, and rum cakes. Delicious.


12.Whose behavior merited celebration? Behavior merits celebration? That's ridiculous. If we're gonna celebrate anything around here, it's gonna be the fact that I didn't knock up any wenches.


13.Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Your mom. She kicked me out of her bed. *shakes fist*


14.Where did most of your money go? Liquor, women, more liquor, lottery tickets, more women...


15.What did you get really, really, really excited about? My cruise to the Bahamas! Holler.


16.What song will always remind you of 2010? "Raise Your Glass" by Pink. Any song about getting your drink on is definitely my king of song.


17.Compared to this time last year, are you:
i.happier or sadder? What kind of stupid question is this? I don't publicly talk about my feelings.
ii.thinner or fatter? I've always been PHAT.
iii.richer or poorer? Poorer. I was really counting on winning the lottery!


18.What do you wish you'd done more of? Gettin jiggy wit it. Na na na na nanana!


19.What do you wish you'd done less of? "Ronnie" or whatever her name was.


20.How will you be spending The New Year? Having new adventures!


22.Did you fall in love in 2010? PCJ doesn't fall in love, PCJ just gets his freak on... and speaks in 3rd person.


23.How many one-night stands? Like a billion! Bow chicka wow wow.


24.What was your favorite TV program? OMG any show with vampires on it! I mean, what? Did someone say something?


25.Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yes! *coughcoworkerscough*


26.What was the best book you read? Reading is for rich people.


27.What was your greatest musical discovery? I got a ukulele for Christmas! Love at first sight.


28.What did you want and get? A cruise to the Bahamas. Check. A ukulele for Christmas. Check. Lots of action. CHECK. No crazy baby mamas. Check.


29.What did you want and not get? I wanted to NOT get any stds. I knew I should have had your mom tested before that one night...


30.What was your favorite film of this year? Were there any new pirate movies? Dislike.


31.What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I partied it up at Bear Lake! Good times.


32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having more rum!


33.How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010? Pirate-ish.


34.What kept you sane? Rum. Lots and lots of rum.


35.Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? That Johnny Depp is so hot right now!


36.What political issue stirred you the most? Politics are for nerds.


37.Who did you miss? Your mom. She was a pretty good lay.


38.Who are your favorite people that you met this year? I'm not what people would describe as a "social" person.


39. Quote a song lyric that accurately summarizes this year.“You smashed a plate over my head, then I set fire to our bed." That's hot.