Thoughts on Death and God

It's strange that denying God somehow makes one confirm His existence. My husband has friends that are angry about situations in their lives and are trying to deny Him, but can't. The existence of evil also proves that there is good. All of these horrible things happen in life, but somehow through the atonement and the resurrection it is all made ok. I think the afterlife must be pretty fantastic to make us all be justified. In our circumstance we have actually been blessed compared to other murders. There were suspects before we knew there was a crime. They were found within days. They are locked up and can't do their drugs and hurt anyone else. Other players have also been found and arrested. We have the Gospel of Jesus Christ. People have asked me how we are handling this, and my only answer is the Plan of Salvation. That is our peace.
I was reading about a horrible murder the other day, a dumb 15 year old was hanging and doing drugs with loser 30 somethings and was killed. Totally in the wrong place, the world is changing, becoming even more violent. A person just can't get drunk or whatever, there are much more sinister things involved. Drugs, nasty sex, beatings, murders. What the Hell people?!?!?!?!? I've been talking to my kids a lot about drugs. I hope that they can see this rocky road, that drugs bring about the horrible in everyone. We talk a little about the killer, we don't quite know what to call him yet, murderer, killer, effer, you know, those seem too whimsical for what he did. But I want him to be our example of what not to do.
I am so thankful for family and friends that have helped so much, even in little ways, it all makes a difference. I know I don't have it all together, not by a long shot but I do know where to look when I have problems. Both in heaven and on earth.

What a year or at least end of the year!

I haven't written for quite some time, I don't know why... just haven't. I guess when I think about it there was a lot on my mind but none that I wanted to share with people. My kids are great, healthy and happy, I couldn't be more blessed. My hubby is doing great at his job, happy and with plans for himself, everything to look foreword to, until New Years Eve 2011. He received a call from his sister that he had to get off work and come share with me.
His parents had been found murdered in their home, it is still difficult to write that, heartbreaking really. We had just been there, spending the night. I left the kids with family and we immediately drove the longest drive I've ever driven. We were numb all the way down and not speaking until my hubby lost it thinking of the pain and fear his parents experienced in their last minutes on earth. We don't think it was as quick and painless and one would hope. Too many signs to indicate otherwise.
Then we spent the longest night of my life praying and getting in touch with family and friends to inform them of the tragedy. The worst was trying to get in touch with his sister in Canada, we were finally able to reach her over Skype. She was able to board a plane within hours and come back home. We held two funerals and both churches were packed to the stage. Two caskets was heartbreaking.
The new fear that has opened itself in my own mind is strong. I am trying to control it but at times it is too much. But the sun always comes up, and we always have a new day with responsibilities and things to take care of. The thing that gives me the most Hope and Comfort is the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, knowing that we will see them again, and that they are at this moment in the care of our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ, and with their loved ones that have passed on.
I know this is bland considering the topic, but I don't really know what to say. We are heartbroken, truly. We are just trying to get through this everyday and cling to what we know to be true. We have felt so many prayers and love from people near and far. I have gained an all new appreciation and testimony of prayer. It buoys people up in their darkest hours I have felt it many times in the last weeks and I am thankful to those who offer prayers for others. I am also thankful for the people who have offered their time and energy in our home. My Christmas tree would still be up if it weren't for dear friends coming to our rescue that first couple of days. For food brought to my house, to words of encouragement, just knowing that people were thinking of us.
My hubby has a bit of a hard time with so many people offering their condolences, he thinks that if they didn't know his parents that they shouldn't be sad. But I tell him that people are upset for anyone they know who is going through a terrible tragedy such as this and that it has shaken people's comfort level. These sweet people were victimized in their most comfortable and safest place. It makes everyone think more about what they do and where they are.
Please hug and kiss your loved ones, let them know what they mean to you and resolve your differences with those you might be having problems with. Life is too short and there are no indicators of death. Thank Heavenly Father each night as you lie down for the blessings and even the hardships, pray for patience and understanding, love all that you can, don't have regrets. I will work on these things too, I'm not good at any of them, but at least I can see more of what I am missing.

So my youngest just turned one, it is strange thinking that the next baby i will be able to love on this much will be a grandchild in twenty plus years. It was just yesterday that we brought the first one home and had no idea what to do with him now we are at the end of the first year for the last it went by so quickly. No more breastfeeding, burping or nighttime feedings, those can be both good and bad. Time can really fly when you are happy and chasing little ones, I feel so blessed to have the family that I have, I hope I can be a good mom to them and a good wife to my husband, and show them how much they mean to me. My # 2 says "mom I know you love me cause you spend time with me and love on me." I'm glad that he realizes what I do and how I love to spend my time Also, thanks to Kamille for her blog on being a mom it made me cry and think of how lucky I am.

Cinderella by # 3

Her mom died, her dad married a mean yady then her dad died then her met a pince, they played games 'til dark o'clock he found her dass sippo at he palace and Cinderella had to do home. The mice tied a bow around her dress then the bad girls tore a dress ott her then her faidy dodmoder tame and she went to the ball and they danced. The mice got a key and dot her out of her woom 'cause the mean yady yocked her in and the horse and the dog and the chickens and the mice all came home. A end.

ksl.com - Fighter jets, bomber alarm Salt Lake Valley residents (Gallery Viewer)

ksl.com - Fighter jets, bomber alarm Salt Lake Valley residents (Gallery Viewer)

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Check this out these planes flying overhead were the coolest, needless to say my kids went crazy, I went crazy. Lots of fun tonight.

Blessings

Well it's mother's day and for the first time, I actually feel like a mother. Like when my kids told me "Happy Mother's Day" I graciously said thank you and thought, hum, that's me. The cutest quote I heard today was, God cannot be everywhere, that's why he invented mothers. I totally believe it now, how lucky I am to be a mom to four wonderful little people and how lucky I am to have the mother that I do, she is so helpful and supportive of me and my little family. THere is a quote that I just read(Ihope it is now posted on my facebook account) that reads basically, a mother is someone who puts your needs above her own. So true by way of my mother and I hope to be a good of a omom as she is to me.

Mother's Day Hanging Baskets

OK, did those of you who bought poinsettias like them? Good, now I'm selling mother's day hanging baskets for the same organization. Some of you have bought them before and some of you have wished you had. They are beautiful and mine have lasted through the summer into the fall, so order now if you want some. 1 for $25, 2 or more for $20 each. I need to know by May 1st if you want them. Trust me, they are beautiful.

A slight inconvenience

One of the best things about having a baby, 15 inch diapers, I mean pads. This sucker works but it has had to work a little too long. I'm ready to be normal again!!!!!!

I have how many kids?

OK, I know it's been over a month since my last post but gimme a break, I didn't know that having 4 would be such a chore. Why isn't he sleeping all day anymore? Why did my two year old just 2X the terrible twos? Yes she's amazingly busy, I think she was an octopus/roadrunner in her former life. Why did my five year old suddenly get an attitude and addicted to the tv? And my seven year old seems to be off track and bored more than he's actually at school. Sooooo, just in case you were wondering, yes I am done having kids, not interested in being pg again. It's an amazing miracle but I've had enough miracles thank you, now I just need to focus on raising the little miracles. By the way, I don't do this often but here are a few pictures of the babe. Beautiful, isn't he? The big bro isn't bad either. For some reason all my kids look alike.

A quickie update

So for those of you who are wondering, yes I had a baby, although so far it has been nothing like I had planned. After laboring for 10 hours and stressing the baby out he ended up being stuck in the birth canal, so emergency c-section, a little stressful being swept away by all these people that you don't know, but we ended up with a beautiful baby boy at 9 lbs 2 oz, in comparison my others were 7 -2, 7 -3, and 6 -8 no wonder he got stuck. I didn't get out of the hospital til the 14th and I had gone in on the 10th, way too much time away from home. The baby had a few problems, mostly with breathing and oxygen because of the c-section, but also has a heart murmur, we're getting that checked in 2 months, the doc is not too concerned but it still needs to be addressed. the babe did not come home til the 16th it's great that we are all here together, my family feels complete. I've been really postpartum, but feeling better the last two days, i've only cried once in the last 48 hours, a real improvement, just ask my hubby, he's been great through all of this very patient through my fears and tears. pictures will come later.

Dream Dinners

For those of you who like to cook and those of you who don't, here's a great opportunity. Go to the Grand Opening of "Dream Dinners" on Saturday, February 14 at 11:00 am until 2:00 p.m. The first 100 people get a flank steak dinner. This place is awesome. You can choose from a bunch of different menus each month and it's all ready to be cooked up when you take it home. For more info on it go to www.dreamdinners.com and type in 84106 for the zip code. I'm plugging this cause my cousin who works there just gave me a bunch of diiners as a baby gift, and cause I love her a lot.

No blog long, long time

Well, I havn't blogged in a very long time, in case you havn't noticed. I've been keeping up with blogs that I stalk but just havn't seemed to find anything to blog about so I'll share a little about what my kids have been saying. My #1 has found his ambition in life, he wants to design roller coasters, and he so far has some pretty good plans and names he's come up with. He has a pretty active imagination, a lot more than I have ever had so it's interesting to hear his ideas. #2 seems really interested in letting me know that I'm fat. The other day he walked in the bathroom right after I got out of the shower, I promptly made him leave, but seconds later he poked his little head back in and said "don't worry mom, I won't tell anyone you're fat", thanks I really appreciate that son. I've tried to tell him that it's baby but he says that the baby is not in my fanny, only in my stomach.

Lastly, #3 is into telling everyone off, not minding unless it suits her and is not at all interested in being potty trained. She says that when the new baby comes out it is going to say "I want chocolate milk" And she is convinced that her bed is right between her mom and dad in their bed. No matter how many times we take her back to her room she always seem to end up between us.

Today I spoke with two 20 something girls who are pregnant for the first time, they said that earlier in the day they had been told off by an older woman, she had said that people who have young kids now are not raising them right. So they wanted to know if I had any advice for them. All I said was don't be a couch mom, get up and do it with them, love on them alot

and always follow through with your threats, make them possible and you have to be willing to give stuff up. Like I'm so seasoned, I barely started homework within the last year, I have it easy for now. I also said that it is the most wonderful thing I have ever done, I love spending time with my kids, I truly enjoy them. I consider myself very blessed.

Also, I have this great man I live with and I am quite happy, he has been working his rear off lately. The other night he came home at 3 am, and I woke up so we were talking, he was telling me about a few exciting things that had happened, shootings, murders, tracking bad guys etc. Then he asked me what I had done that day, and to be honest, all I could think that I had done that was an accomplishment was one thing, I blurted out, "I got the laundry all done and put away for the week" And he was actually impressed, considering that for the two weeks prior to that he would have to run down to the laundry room to get clean underwear and clothes when he got out of the shower. Boy, I'm glad that we don't have to cross over into one anothers professional lives he would be bored and I would be scared to death.

End of an Era

I have been in this fabulous Bunko group for almost 7 years now and it is slowly being disbanded. There are a few who have moved out the county so it's more difficult for them to get to the party, a few have decided that they need to focus on other things, and a few who have had their feelings hurt, we all have been offended at times in our lives, but some have a more difficult time getting over it. Anyhow, this is a picture of most of us, even those who left a few years ago, it was great to be together for the last time, some of us are trying to keep it going with some new friends. Hopefully it will be just as fun. The part that I love about it is that has never been a husband bashing thing, in fact I always go home appreciating my husband more and looking forward to time with him. So here are the pictures I promised. Good luck and love in your new chapters.

Poinsettias

By the way thanks to all those who purchased from our organization.

OK, so who is sick of the poinsettias? Well I must tell you the story that goes along with the pot that I purchased for myself. Beautiful isn't it, nice and big and beautiful. Well, #1 and I had to run to Wal-Mart to pick up a little somethin', when we returned I found all these beautiful flowers/leaves sitting on one of my kitchen chairs, wondering what happened I asked the current caregiver what had happened, this person knew nothing other than the fact that #2 was trying to turn on the light behind the flower and somehow knocked it over (a few times) and pulled the leaves out trying to get it up right and had the vacuum out trying to clean up the whole mess before I got home. He was pretty upset, so what can I say? "I'm not raising poinsettias".

Tonight, # 2 also thought he'd try his hand at playing barbershop once again, his own hair wasn't enough. He had the scissors taken away already, but he decided to cut #3's hair, her ponytail and the side. How do you get them to STOP? His answer was he forgot what "NO" means. #3 said that next time he tried to do this she would just tell him "no, no, don't cut my hair", in her cute little voice. I'm sure that will work.

Poinsettias

I am on an auxilliary board for my husbands' work and we sell flowers 2 times a year. In the spring, we sell mother's day hanging baskets and at Christmas we sell poinsettias. I thought that my blog would be a good way to get the word out. They go for $15 a flower and are comparable to those found at Costco, only $0.50 cheaper through us and they go for a good cause, we give money to families in need whose fathers may have been hurt or have fallen, or to families whose children who are ill, and we do a sub for santa each yearfor a family in the community. If anyone is interested in buying poinsettias this year please think of me first and just leave a comment to let me know how many you want, I'll be in touch with you after that. You don't have to pay until you get the poinsettia, just let me know how many you need before Dec. 2. Thanks!