Bye for now

After several months of not blogging, I have decided to take an even further extended break from blogging for a while. Blogging was no longer the therapeutic outlet it had once been, and was actually becoming a chore. Just thinking of logging in to Blogger (IF it would let me log in) made me feel weary, so, until the muse strikes again, this is it.

I have enjoyed meeting new friends in Bloggerland, some of whom I have had the extra enjoyment of contacting outside bloggerland in facebook. I use facebook a lot these days, which may be part of the reason I have let blogging languish. My email addy is steve_hildebrandt@hotmail.com if you want to contact me, or, if you want, use that email address to find me on facebook. (By the way, that is an UNDERSCORE between my first and last names in my email addy... not a hyphen or a space!)

Best wishes to all!

Steve AKA The Phoenix

Ugh!

Been feeling crappy of late. Last week started coughing a bit, just a dry irritating cough. Not often, but enough to let me know that something was happening. Then came the weekend.

We had gone as a family up to a small town just north of my city for Canada's largest TruckFest. There were around 650 gorgeous highway tractor-trailer units on display there, but the main reason we went was the tractor pulls. Every year the Empire State Pullers out of New York State, together with the Great Lakes Tractor Pulling Association, wows the crowds in small-town Ontario with an awesome show. From Pro and Super Stock diesel and alcohol burning farm tractors (souped up something fierce) to single and multi-engined modified tractors, to street legal diesel pick-ups, to heavily modified pick-ups and big rigs. All pulling a special weight transfer sled on a dirt track. I love it! So does Mrs. Phoenix, and for the first time, we took our girls with us as well.

I'm not sure if it was sitting on the ground (we had those neat "stadium seat cushions" with us so we weren't actually "on the ground" but you know what I mean) or the variable temperatures and mugginess of the warehouse where I work during the week prior, but by the middle of the evening, I was blowing my nose almost constantly. By the time we got home (around 11:30 pm) I was feeling really sluggish, so I went to bed. Sunday morning I woke up with a completely stuffed head, and feeling rotten enough that I cancelled our plans to go back to the show for the demolition derbies scheduled for early Sunday afternoon. I just sat on the couch with my laptop and emptied a box of tissues! It was a real disappointment, but what can you do?

Monday, I went to work, but by 10:00 am, I was feeling so poorly, I called Mrs. Phoenix at her work and asked her to pick me up when she came home, which was about noon. I came home and went right to bed, and slept most of the afternoon. Then I spent the evening sitting on the couch working on yet another box of tissue!

Today I woke up with an incredible burning sensation in my chest and as soon as I sat up in bed began coughing fit to kill! At first they were dry, hacking coughs, but eventually I began coughing up large gobs of mucus (I know, GROSS!). The second time that happened, the mucus was streaked with red, and Mrs. Phoenix, a former nurse, said "That's it! You're NOT going to work, you're going to the doctor!" So I called in sick (for the third time in 3 weeks... not good!) and went back to sleep.

Around noon, my wife woke me up to tell me she had called my doctor's office, but he was on vacation until the end of next week, so I had to get ready to go to the walk-in clinic in town as soon as they opened, because if I was late, I'd be waiting for hours to be seen by a doctor! We got there about 5 minutes after opening, and already there was a line-up of 6 people. I ended up only waiting for about 30 minutes until I saw a doctor. He took my symptoms, and then checked my throat and ears. "A touch of bronchitis" he muttered and then said I had caught it early, but because I had coughed up blood in the morning, he sent me for chest x-rays anyway.

So, once again, I'm on antibiotics and missing several days of work. I've been off work more than at work these last 3 weeks! Between migraines, a stomach flu and now bronchitis, I'm surprised they haven't turfed me already! I remember hearing that it is illegal to fire someone for medical reasons in Ontario, but I'm sure any company worth it's salt could figure out some other way to get rid of someone who is sick all the time! It's a good thing that when I am there, I have higher than average productivity numbers and that my lead hands have marked me as one of the "go-to" guys when something needs to get done. That may save my skin in this case.

I tell you, I am getting so sick and tired of constantly being sick and tired! A friend of mine sells a product he claims will "repair my immune system" so maybe I'll give that a try. It's a natural supplement made from barley, so it couldn't hurt to try, right? We'll see.

Well, that's it for me tonight! I hope all my blogger friends are having a better week (or month) than I am!

Happy 4th!

Since I wished all my Canadian friends a Happy Canada Day on the first, it is only fitting that I also wish all my American friends a very

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

I was going to try to simulate your flag in the words like I did with the Canadian Flag, but your flag is just too darn complicated for that! LOL!

'Til next time...

Happy Canada Day!

Just a quick note to wish all my fellow Canadians in Bloggerland a very

HAPPY CANADA DAY!

By the way, is it just me or is it a true indicator of how far our society has slid into moral decay, that Dr. Henry Morgentaler was today awarded the highest civilian award Canada has to offer, The Order of Canada? His claim to fame? Abortion clinics in Canada. The Baby Killer has been rewarded for murder! Almost makes me ashamed to call myself Canadian today... almost.

MIA

I stole that title from another blog friend who also took a long hiatus from posting recently. (In fact, she's still "MIA"! I thought I'd just post a quick blurt saying "Yes, I'm still alive!"

As for posting material, "I gots nothing!"

Till next time!

Mayday! Mayday! MAY DAY!

Happy May Day everyone! Yeah, I know, I know, it's about time I posted again! But, as it says on the top of my blog, this is a "sporadic blurt", which means I'm in no way, shape, or form, a REGULAR poster! See? I always make sure my butt is covered! LOL!

This post is gonna be a mish mash of stuff, a few rants, a few newsy items and who knows what else!

So... here we go!

First off, this just in... Has anyone else tried that new Coke Zero? I caved into the marketing hype tonight at Burger King and tried it for the first time. My opinion? "Real Coke Taste"? Not so much. In fact, for the first time in I don't know how long, I didn't finish my drink and threw it out! It was AWFUL! Ugh! It was more like Pepsi than Coke, and anyone who really knows me knows what a drastic statement that is! LOL! If you are a Coke lover, DON'T BUY COKE ZERO!!! Especially if you haven't tried it yet. If you have and you like it? Ummm... just don't tell me, ok? Ha ha!

I had a rant all lined up for tonight's post, but now that I'm actually typing it, I can't remember what it is, so.... maybe next time.

The raise I mentioned last post finally came through, and the retro-pay ended up being around $300 after taxes and other deductions. Nice little bonus that was. It didn't last long, thanks to all the bills I have to pay! Oh well... at least I'm now making the extra money each pay period which works out to an extra $120 or so take-home after taxes. Stupid government! Winston Churchill hit the nail right on the head with this quote; "I contend that a nation that tries to tax itself into prosperity is like a man who steps into a bucket, then tries to lift himself with the handle." Think about it. Speaking of taxes, we got our income tax refunds finally, and are the glad recipients of approximately $4300 and change between Mrs. Phoenix and myself. Nice to know the government took over $4300 from us last year when each penny was so dearly needed while I was searching for work! That was sarcasm, by the way!

I've been enjoying the hyacinths and daffodils in our garden this past week. I love seeing the first flowers of spring! I find it so uplifting to see all the trees and flowers blooming and leafing out. I just wish that the weather wouldn't be so extremely changeable during the Spring months. My headaches are horrible now and quite frequent. I'm very lucky that my employer has accepted the fact that I am undergoing medical treatment for these headaches and therefore I'm not in danger of losing my job because of them. That is a relief which has helped me to overcome some of the headaches and actually be able to work through them. It was just crazy how I'd get a headache, then the stress of worrying about whether or not my job was in jeopardy would make it worse and worse until I was totally unable to work, which would then make me worry more. It was a vicious cycle I'm glad is not so vicious anymore. My doctor, however, is pressuring me to quit and find a less strenuous job. He says the physical stress of the job is causing all sorts of havoc in my neck and spinal column. I've heard that the Customer Service Department is looking for people right now, so I'm hoping that I can get the required minimum one year service in one's current position before applying for a transfer waived in my case. I had applied for a CS position initially and was almost begged to accept a warehouse position first. The recruiter who called me told me that "most of their best CS and Sales people had first started in the warehouse and worked their way up." So I'm really hoping this might be an option for me. I'd hate to have to quit and lose the health benefits I worked so hard to obtain - the first benefits I've had in over 5 years! It might mean a pay cut, but, I'm thinking, if I can get a desk job, then I'll be able to come home from work without being totally exhausted every day, and be able to "moonlight" and make some other cash on the side. Right now, doing anything after work is next to impossible since I am so bone-tired every single day. Even my weekends are pretty much a loss due to the extreme fatigue I experience after a hard week's work!

Changing topics yet again... Saw some great movies recently. Bought "Alvin and the Chipmunks" for the girls and laughed myself sick though it! It was an AWESOME movie! Two thumbs WAY up! Rented "The Last Legion" and "Beowulf" and thoroughly enjoyed them too. The "Hyper-real animation" of Beowulf had my jaws open many times during that movie. Sometimes I would forget it was an animated movie! Then I'd see a minor character move and be suddenly reminded it was! LOL! Still, an awesome movie - the dragon near the end was incredible! (Burf, that was for you! Tee hee!) "The Last Legion" was another good movie. (I was amazed at the female lead actress they cast! Aishwariya Rai could give Angelina Jolie a run for the "Sexiest Woman Alive Award"! I read that she is a famous "Bollywood" actress, but I had never heard of her before.) I've always liked historical fiction, and the recent burst of "Arthurian legend" movies has really excited me. The idea that King Arthur was either a Roman legionnaire, or directly descended from one is relatively new, but there have been a number of good books and movies written about it recently, mainly the "King Arthur" and "The Last Legion" movies and the books written by Jack Whyte ("A Dream of Eagles" series) and Bernard Cornwell ("The Last Kingdom" series). Loads of fun and food for thought in those, let me tell you!

Saw Spiderman 3 (FINALLY!) recently and enjoyed it immensely. Kirsten Dunst was absolutely heartbreaking in it but I think they skipped too quickly over the "Spidey/Venom" symbiotic relationship. I guess it was too hard to cover it all in a 2.5 hour movie. I think they should have made it two movies and explored the slow realization of Peter Parker that he was being altered for the worse by the symbiont in more depth. They also failed to follow the original comic's story line about how tortured Eddie Brock was as Venom. At first, Eddie/Venom was gleefully evil, but as the comic story progressed, Eddie began to develop a conscience, thanks to Aunt May, whom he befriends, initially to hurt Parker. Eventually, Venom sides with Spidey and fights to destroy Venom's "offspring" Carnage, who takes over the body of a psychotic killer with no moral compunction whatsoever. Venom is killed in the battle, but not before sending Carnage to an alternate dimension from which there is no return. (Can you tell I was a Spiderman comic fan in my younger years? LOL!)

Well, this post has rambled on for quite a while now, so I'll wrap it up and hopefully post again sooner rather than later! Have a good weekend, all!

Finally! Some Relief!!

Some time ago, I mentioned how stressed out I was feeling about my job. Regular (I use that term VERY loosely, LOL!) readers of this blurt might remember the schmozzle surrounding the wages I was earning vs. what I was told I SHOULD be earning once I got my lift-truck certificate. Back in the beginning of March, the company initiated an audit of the salaries of all the lift-truck operators, both "old" and "new". Since then, rumours have been flying around saying there was going to be a raise, there wasn't going to be one, etc. Our managers kept hedging when asked and my stress level went up a little every day.

Eventually, I reached the end of my energy and stamina and I totally crashed. I was at work last Tuesday (April 1st - no joke) when it happened. I began to start shaking, like my muscles couldn't function anymore. I felt so tired, my vision was blurry and I felt sick to my stomach. A few of my co-workers noticed and told me I looked "pale", "awful", "exhausted" and other descriptive comments letting me know I looked as bad as I felt. I called my wife at her work and asked her to pick me up when she got off at 11:00 am. I struggled through the rest of the morning until she picked me up at noon. I got home and crashed... sleeping for the rest of the afternoon. I slept most of Wednesday as well. On Thursday, I slept in a little bit, and then, since my wife was off work, had her take me to the local walk-in clinic I visit when I need a doctor's note for work. The clinic was completely full of sick people and I was turned away at the door, since I wasn't a "regular patient" of the doctors who run the clinic. We also had to take our little Sheltie, Rebel, for his annual vet check-up and rabies and distemper shots. So we tried again that afternoon, with the same results. I couldn't get in to see a doctor that day. So, I called my doctor to see if I could get in to see him. Normally, it takes a week or so to get an appointment with my doctor so I was quite surprised when I was offered an appointment the next day!

My doctor was quite blunt and told me that I was on the brink of a "meltdown" due to too much stress, both physical and emotional, and strongly encouraged me to take even more time off. I told him I couldn't afford it, due to the fact that in less than a month after getting benefits I had burned through all my 6 allotted paid sick days for the entire year! He shrugged and told me to be prepared to get sick again, but gave me a certificate verifying that I was sick during the time I was off so that I could return to work on Monday.

Today, shortly after starting work, I was asked to go see my manager in his office. "Uh oh, here it comes!" I thought. I was almost sure that I was about to either get "written up" for my frequent absences or let go altogether. I immediately went to my manager's office, but when I got there, I saw another co-worker in there already, one that had received his fork-lift training the same day I did. I quickly realized that this must be the last step of the review process that we had been waiting a month for. I went and finished some work I had and then came back to the office once I knew that my co-worker was done.

To shorten this already lengthy post, I received a very good review, and to make it even better, was told I will be getting the full fork-lift operator's wage retroactive to March 2, the day my review started! That means my hourly rate will increase by $2.24/hour! I'm still quite tired, but my stress level has dropped considerably tonight!

That said, I'm going to cut this short, and go to bed.

Torn

This will be another relatively short post.

Just this week, two of my blogging friends have had a major falling out. Both of these friends, who will remain nameless in this post, are very dear to me. I met the second one through the first. I have read some very hurtful things on both of their blogs, and am very saddened by them. What has saddened me even more, is the extremely nasty things being posted in comments by friends of each. Some of these comments are made by people who don't even know the other party. What bothers me the most is, just a few years ago, if things like this had been posted in a newspaper, or any other public medium, there could be slander and libel lawsuits flying. But because it's the Internet, people seem to think that the laws don't apply, and let the anger, hatred and venom fly loose. I feel very badly for both my friends, because I love both dearly. And yet, I can't read either of their blogs without reading nasty things about the other. This hurts me because I am a staunch defender of all of my friends. You hurt them, you've hurt me too. I do hope that the anger will cool off, and that some apologies will come forth from both sides. I want my two friends to become best blog buddies again. I don't know if either can forgive, but I'm hoping they both will.

But please, no more hateful words. I can't take it anymore.

Who do YOU think I am?

I saw this on a good friend of mine's blog, Babzy, and thought it would be fun to try myself. All of my blog friends are of the "virtual" kind, in that I have only met them online, and not in person. It should be interesting to see how accurate the "online persona" I portray really is. If you are interested in participating, click on the link below and follow the instructions. Then try it out yourself! If you do, let me know so I can visit yours and return the favour!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Phoenix6755

I'm Alive!

Just a quick note to let you all know that, yes, I'm still alive, but just haven't had much to post about. Life goes on with it's ups and downs as usual. Hopefully I'll have something to post about soon.