"I love you, Lila" I said, as she nuzzled her head on my shoulder.  She perked up and looked brightly at me.  "And I love Grace!" she replied.

Lila has been very complimentary recently.  Its only been about 2 weeks now that she spontaneously tells us all that she loves us.  Sitting at dinner, she gazes over at Addie and says, "I love you, Addie.  I love you."  Tonight while rocking her in her chair she told me over and over, "I love you, Mommy. I love you."  Always like that, "I love you, Andre.  I love you."  Tonight I got something new, "I like your eyes mom.  Your eyes pity (pretty).  I like your eyes."

Tonight while trying to read the Book of Mormon as a family, Miles kept making karate sounds and jumping around.  I asked him again to please stop.  "You have to call me Iron Man.  Or when I'm not being Iron Man you can call me Tony Stark.  But right now you have to call me Iron Man."   "When can I call you Miles?"  I asked.  He paused, glanced up, then stared straight into my eyes and said, "Never."

Miles officially stared soccer yesterday.  Why did I push my first kids to do everything so early on?  And why won't I let my little ones do anything?  Although Andre was not yet 3 when he put on his first pair of cleats (and Grace started on her first soccer team at age 3), I have just kept feeling that Miles was far too young.  He reminded me about a month ago, "Mom?  Remember Coach Ade said that I could be on a real soccer team when I'm 4 or 5?  And I'm 4.  So when can I?"

Miles was vibrating with excitement and anxiety as I put on shin guards and soccer socks that have sat in a box for 5 years waiting for him.  "Who will tell me what to do so that Coach Ade doesn't yell at me?" "What if I need a drink but I can't find my water bottle."  "Who else is on my team?"  "What if I can't hear what Coach Ade is trying to say?" "What if I don't know when practice is over?"  I assured him that I would be there the whole time and everything would be fine.

He smiled big for the camera but then held my hand nervously as we walked up to the indoor arena.  Miles is just training for now with a group of 5 and 6 year old boys.  I bit my lip as he ran out onto the field--not sure if he should carry his ball or dribble it.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched him focusing so closely on everything Coach Ade or Rolando said and tried his best to replicate their demonstrations.  I was very proud of him but for some reason it was just killing me to watch him out there.  He was respectful.  He already has more skill than I knew he possessed.  He stayed attentive and ran fast and really tried hard.  But it was just heart wrenching for me and I can't even articulate why.

When the hour was up (and he had done very cool and very different things than any of my other kids had done who'd just started off with me or some other volunteer parent--as opposed to ex-professional players with decades of coaching experience), he was very happy.  As we drove to 7-11 to buy him a pack of gummy sharks he said in a very adult voice, "Oh man, Mom.  Austin was so fast.  He beat me every time." (he went against a little guy in a couple of drills and Miles had no idea yet what he was really supposed to do).  "That's okay," I said.  "That was your first day.  You'll get better and better."  "Yeah," he said, "I'll probably be able to beat him when I'm seven."

Doce!

Grace, who has been learning Spanish at school, turned "doce" last month!

Twelve is a really big deal for a Mormon girl.  It marks the end of an era.  She leaves primary, where she's been spending 2 hours per week since she was 3 years old and joins the "Young Women".  I'm grateful that I, too, just joined the Young Women.  I was released last month from my calling as Gospel Doctrine instructor and am now a counselor to the Young Women's president.  I work with the Mia Maids (age 14-16 girls), so I won't be teaching Grace directly, for which she's probably grateful, but will be involved with the her still.  I'm excited.  And I think Grace is excited about being in Young Women's for now.  She's already been working on her Personal Progress during our winter break.

Her birthday fell on a Sunday so we decided to have a "friend" party for her the day before.  I was worried about how it would go, but I needn't have been.  Jason took the three youngest out to lunch and to do some Christmas shopping.  Grace's friends arrived and I was afraid they'd be bored so I had a plethora of things planned.  We had pizza and cupcakes, decorated aprons, played games, opened gifts, and made gingerbread houses.

Grace has a really sweet group of friends.  We had Christmas music playing and they just chatted and giggled, but not too loudly.  They were all polite and cute and kind as can be.  I planned the party to last 3 hours but it was such a peaceful, happy time, I would have been happy if they'd stayed all day.

Addie and Grace don't always get along super well.  Addie was desperate to be a part of Grace's party.  At the last minute Grace agreed.  I'm so glad.  I hope that these girls will become as close of friends and as dear to each other as my sisters are to me.   I think they will.

Jason and the rest of the kids arrived back home before everybody had gone.  Luckily there was an extra house for Lila to decorate.  She loved it and took it very very seriously.

I'm not sure what to say about Grace because I she's been expecting this post and will probably read all of this tomorrow.   So...I guess it would make sense to finish the post this way...
Dear Grace,
The day you were born was one of the most amazing days of my life.  I can so clearly remember what you looked like and the sounds you made your first night as you learned how to breathe air into your lungs.  You made a sort of humming sound each time you breathed out.  I held you on my chest and watched your back rise and fall all night.  I was absolutely smitten.  And I have loved you every day since.  I have been so blessed to see you growing up from such a fiesty and strong-willed toddler into this beautiful young...I can't write woman yet...its just too much...but this beautiful older girl...okay...fine...this YOUNG WOMAN that you have become.  You have such an amazing heart.  You are pained to see anybody else in pain.  You try to treat all those around you with love and respect.  Your teachers adore you and always tell me that they don't know what they would do if they didn't have you in their class.  You keep their faith in teaching, education and the future intact.  Your siblings adore you.  Although Addie and Andre may not always show the greatest kindness and patience, they constantly long for your approval and acceptance.  You are a second mom to Lila.  Miles, too.  They both love their Gracie so much.  I am proud of you for always wanting to improve at things and become better.  This world is a better place because you're in it.
I love you, my beautiful girl!
XoX,
Mamacita

THE MANY FACES OF GRACE: