Halfway

This week I begin the second half of my first semester back at school. It has been challenging and stressful but full of excitement and wonder as I learn new things and surprise myself at how great I can be as a student. The first time didn't go so well. I'm taking 9 units. Listed in order of favorites, I've got Survey of Music Lit & History, Nutrition and Child Development. All interesting topics, one not so interesting teacher, although as the semester progresses I'm more and more amused by her quirks and disorganization. Plus, I've got my lil sis, Stevie in that class with me. Some people may wonder if I'm her mother although I don't think most have put it together that we're related. It's really fun having her with me. On another musical note, I recently emailed Dr. Bowman. He is retired from CSUC music faculty and was my teacher from middle school into college. I did lessons with him during my pregnancy with Cooper and then had to stop when I had the baby because I could no longer swing the heavy(but absolutely worth it) cost of lessons from someone so amazing. Anyhow, I emailed him just to check in and update him on my life. I was really excited for him to know I'd gone back to school. He responded and offered me lessons again. I won't spill the whole story but he is being very generous in giving me lessons and is helping me tremendously in preparing me for auditions into the Sac State music program when I'm able to transfer. My music history professor at ARC, has mentioned a few opportunities to me as well. She leads the orchestra and is very involved in musical theater. So, when I mentioned to her that I do a decent amount of accompanying at church but wish it was more challenging she said she'd like me to work with her from time to time as an accompanist for musicals. She's going to pass the script and music along to me for next years big project to see if I can make it work. I honestly don't know that I can commit to something that big but I'm feeling very motivated to make sure my performance ability is up to par for it. If my schedule doesn't allow it, I'm ok with that. The kids are also busy with school work. I think they've now gotten used to me being checked out for part of the evening while I'm studying. Often we do our homework together. Spencer is itching for me to have a math class or something that I'll need him to help me with. I'm pretty sure I'm going to bump up to full time next semester. I would really love to get this done. The biggest challenge is balance. School itself isn't too bad. If you saw the state of my home you might cry for my family. My bedroom looks like a hoarder has taken over. Well, I guess that's what did happen. And, the laundry is piled higher than ever. My cupboards are almost always bare. I run to the store to get just what I need to get by for that day and maybe the next because I don't have 2 hours to dedicate to proper shopping and putting away groceries. I've gained some weight....ughhh....because I'm eating and drinking at night to keep me up late enough to finish my homework. (Diet Pepsi is as crazy as I get) It bugs me that my house is a wreck but to be honest I'm so flipped out happy to be in school that it makes the down side better for me. Just don't be offended if I don't invite you in for a visit. ;) Better sign off, gotta get ready for Spencer's soccer game and prepare for my nutrition test I have to take tonight. Have a great weekend!!

Life Update

I really want to blog again. In the past when I've done it regularly and with effortless wit, it provided to much clarity and enjoyment in my life. I don't know why it is that when life presented so much discomfort it stifled my ability to blog. I'm no where near being over it but I am really feeling the blogging spirit today so here I sit at the keyboard. Let's hope I can get my groove back. So, updates. We've added chickens to our family. 6 adult hens and two "adolescent" hens. I never knew what having chickens could do. For me, it has brought pure joy. Joy has been hard for me to come by over the past few years. Only because of my own issues & bad attitude, stupid me. Being with my feathered friends is therapy. I feel completely in touch with what is important. I become a minimalist. I no longer feel the urge to have "things" or care about what other feel about what I have or don't have. I just know in my heart that having a simple life is the best way. Amazing! I leave my chickens for a few days and I fall right back into societal entrapment. As a result, I've finally given up the closet dream of starring in a country music video or having my face on a magazine cover to being the next Pioneer Woman, a farmer in a rural community that home schools, gardens and tends to livestock. (No, we don't home school although I really want to. I don't care if you think that's weird or bad.) I'm currently very seriously considering starting back to school in the fall. I went ahead and registered for a few classes at ARC. I still have some kinks to work out with childcare for Cooper and such. At this point, I really want to pursue a music degree. It's what I already do and love. I don't know if I'm being realistic or really random. It could be my self diagnosed ADHD made me do it. I tend to be a little all over the place. But, the more I've thought about it I know that education or my lack of education is the one regret I have in life. I feel like my long list of past mistakes might seem like obvious regrets but I don't regret any of that. Those mistake absolutely detoured me from my goals and changed my life path but they always provided invaluable lessons of acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, compassion, hope and the ability for people to change. So, I'm thinking why not? Down side is that it puts my other dream of home schooling on hold. But, If I can't begin to follow at least one dream at 35 I'll likely give up dreaming all together. I'll keep you posted....

Catching Up

Here's our latest family photos courtesy of my BFF Felisha Coltrin.

It's been so long since I've blogged!! You can really see how long by looking at Cooper. Last post he was the darling little newborn. Now, he's the busiest 10 month old boy that is into everything. He's stinkin' cute and super yummy! It's kind of crazy for me to see us in pictures. At home, it's normal life but in pictures it looks like such a big deal!! I have 4 flippin' kids!! Bruce will be 40 this year!! That's old enough to have an adult child....ughhh! But he still wears the same size jeans he did when we got married. Wish I could say that!!

We're so dang cute! Anyway, we moved back in October. Same area, more space. Moving sucks, let me just say it!! I hate it...and so, it's taken us some time to recover and start moving forward with organizing and decorating. It's all coming along. We finally have a huge garage that we're getting organized and a fun little upstairs studio that will be a guest room/home gym. I've also got a living room, in addition to a family room which is the most fabulous thing in the world for me. It's MY room. The piano is in there. It's my "studio" and it's got my signature on all of the fun and wild pillows and accessories. I sit in there at night and read or knit. It's so freakin' fantastic!! Last night, I laid on my new shag rug reading Great Expectations and felt so happy to have the space.

I've also started going to the gym with my chicca, Jenise. She opens up the whoop-Astle on me. (She's an Astle, not related to the plumber.) So, I'm sore as heck but loving it! Cooper really did a number on me. I'm trying to accept my girth for what it is but I'll tell you, I'm not liking it. I've been telling myself that, "I'm large and in charge!" But the sad truth is there's no in charge about it! Just a few more pervs than normal giving stares at the obscene amount of cleavage I now possess. Coop is in heaven though. He's living every mans fantasy!! All this rambling silly talk is to spit out that I'm getting my butt in shape!!






The kids are doing great. Spencer is in 3rd grade. He's in cub scouts now. He loves PE, music and science. He loves writing in cursive. He loves to dance hip hop. He makes up his own moves and they're dang good!! Taylor is in 1st grade. She's doing daisies in girl scouts. She loves recess. She's really good at reading. She loves PE and Art. She is learning piano. Spencer and Taylor are in a small musical theater show with The Arden Players. They play soccer and along with Cam, are starting baseball. Cameron is 4. Still at home with mom. He'll start Kindergarten this fall and is very excited. He will be doing T-Ball this spring which he's gonna be great at! He loves games. Video games, computer games, board games, made up games....anything games! He is really good at puzzles and a great helper at home. Now, Cooper, ahhhhhh. The Coop is doing well. He's got a yummy mouth and cakers in the rear that just mmmmm....I want to take a bite out them! He's got 4 teeth. 2 on top and 2 on the bottom. They are just like mine when I was little....bucker-rooos!! I love it. He's taken a few steps but not quite walking. He loves to play with his siblings and make fart sounds blowing on our tummies. He plays, poops, cuddles up to the boobies and sleeps....what a life, huh!! I'm so thankful for my kids. They are the most awesome little people.

Oh, I didn't update on the 2 beasts....we still have them....(big sigh)

One Nice Thing

(This is Taylor at 1 year old.This picture makes me smile for at least a whole minute!)

I learned in counseling years ago that there is no winning in finger pointing. If I feel lonely or rejected or ugly or fat or grumpy, whatever, it's really on me. No one's choices make me act a certain way. I can make the choice to ALLOW others actions (that are out of my control) to effect me, or; I can simply not worry about them and instead do something that is in my control.

GET OFF MY BOO HOOING BUTT AND WORK ON ME!!

Today I am choosing to do one nice thing for each member of my family. It's something that I know will help me to be more thoughtful of my them and remind me to enjoy each day with them. I've got to start with Bruce because if dad's not happy...:( I'm going to put nice clean linens on the bed, write him a flirty little love note to leave on his pillow and then.......heehee! For Spencer, I'm going to take him on a bike ride after school. He loves that and will be really excited. Taylor, she's going to get extra snuggle & story time tonight. She's more affectionate than the boys and craves attention at bedtime. Cameron is the twirp. He cracks me up all the time. His idea of something special is buying candy, gum or a toy. That's not going to work for me because I'm trying to not give praise to my kids with monetary items for awhile. I want them to learn to work for money and save for purchases. So, instead, I will be treating Cameron to an unexpected lunch date. We're going on a picnic and leaving right away. He will LOVE it!! Cooper, well, he gets enough breastfeeding to make any guy over the moon. What's better than that??



It's going to be a great day!

Patience...

...a virtue I do not seem to possess. But, nonetheless, I was asked to give a lesson today at church in Relief Society (that's the name of our women's organization/class). It was based on a fabulous talk given at our last general conference by President Uchtdorf. I love his talks. It was given to the men of our church but it really applies to us all. In the spirit of renewal & strengthening our marriages, here it is for you to read and ponder. Patience, in addition to a weed warmer, will help save the world.

(This is Cameron a few years ago. If only he stayed like this all the time; Patience would come much easier.)

P.S. Yet another great photo from my friend Nicolette!

The Weed Warmer

(Bruce & I on our wedding day, August 15, 1998)

It came to me during a recent conversation with my mom. We were talking about my parents upcoming wedding anniversary. My parent will have been married for 34 years. I've always feared when thinking about them that they are surviving more than than they are enjoying life. Our youngest in turning 11 soon and before you know it she'll be gone and my parents will find themselves without children.....in their late 60's. Imagine having nonstop child-rearing for 40+ years....Yikes!! So, I remembered a story my mom told me when I moved out of their home at 18 and gave me a huge quilt that had always been around the house. This was a special quilt, nicknamed "The Weed Warmer". She made it for my dad very early in their relationship and it was carried around in the back of the car so that wherever they found themselves parked, they could have a cozy spot to sit.....or lay!!! Excuse the pun. (Ok, I have to say that was totally my own deliberate pun that I'm sure my mom won't appreciate and I am NOT saying there was ever any public laying. Although, I hear it's the spice of life. We all know how my mind works.) Anyhow, I moved out with the weed warmer and as the years have passed it was layed to rest without ever being replaced. So, while on the phone with my mom, I had a brilliant gift idea...She needs to make my dad a new weed warmer....Plan a special date night, put it in the trunk with a big bow, pack a picnic, pull up to the park at 11pm like some 17 year old hormonal teenagers and park. Then she can give him the new weed warmer. Let them do what they may with it but I truly believe this would add spice to my mother & fathers' life. And believe me, they could use some! Bruce's birthday is in October....I think he would love a weed warmer....in camo print.

I told my mom, while on the phone, my idea. She laughed. I think she's considering it. She would be smart to do it. I'll leave it up to her. But, what I did realize was that in addition to giving some much needed gift advice, I was also receiving some much needed inspiration for my blog. It hit me then, my current season in life is leaving me overwhelmed & tired. Bruce & I are trying to make time to be together WITHOUT kids. It's tough. But you have to not give up. Wouldn't it be fabulous to blog about our dates, dates I hear about from others, great gifts for your hunky man, etc.? I'm taking it upon myself to do my part in making the world a better place; by rescuing the boring & lonely hearted couples. So, please email me any experiences you have had or ideas....For my circle of people, creative & inexpensive goes along way. Although, I like to be swanky from time to time to. Until next time, make your hubby his own Weed Warmer...Bet you won't feel so boring!!

Hope It's Worth the Wait

Finally, I have a worthwhile post! I miss my blog...but it was too much to worry about.

This is Cooper Daniel Anderson.
He came out like a lightning bolt on Friday, March 19, 2010.
Weighing in at 8 lbs 9 oz, 20 3/4 inches.

And I've fallen in love all over again.

(Pictures courtesy of Nicolette's Photography.)

I love, love, love this picture of me pregnant.
And I love my hair.
And my necklace.

My absolute favorite picture.....I don't take my shirt off for just any boy.
This boy is that special.

Mostly, I love being a mother to these adorable 4.