Never Mine

Bangga kerana masih meneruskan kehidupan.

Walaupun rs nk pulangkan nafas dan nadi kepada Pemiliknya.

:)

Tips Kurus

I got asked this question a lot, 

“U cucuk mounjaro ke kurus?”

“Babe, lunch u g mkn, i gi pilates.”

But the truth is, i dont do it cuz i want to lose weight.

I need the endorphins.

This was in between attending my patient’s appointments and my kid’s appointment :)

As described in my IG bio : balancing life between Medicine, Movement and Motherhood. Gittew

Anda ingat saya ada masa untuk makan?

Ready to be physically tortured.

“Okay girls, lets do 10 seconds plank”

Senang2 je kena scam dgn si Carmen ni.

Est 2024

A day after class, tk tau sakit perut lapar ke abs DOMS. 

Mellow Wednesday

This morning my heart feels heavy..again..

Possible contributed by the traffic jam due to accident.

I have more time in the car by myself to overthink.

I got drowned in my own thoughts.

And this song just make it worst..

Pulangkan cintaku kepada Mu

Hilangkan ragu di dalam dada

Ku merayu Kasih Yang Teragung

Tenangkan jiwaku yang meraung

Halangkan derita dan sengsara

Ku merindu Kasih Yang Teragung 

Apa terjadi, salahku sendiri

Ku dikaburi tanpa sedari

Hati kini hanyut sepi.

I need to come home..

And i feel PMS hits hard at 40s.

Constant

 …low maintenance friendship be like..

2024

2025

2026

Da cukup quota tanya khabar setahun skali.

Next text tahun dpn.

Monday Rants

It was a good start for Monday today.

Despite I woke up feels like my body just got hit by a bus.

But the journey to work was zen.

I arrived and no patients seen at the clinic entrance…yet

Which is uncommon sight.

But work was good today. Calm.

The only chaos was my mind.

With all the issues with classpass and a lot of studios pull out from the app.

Will it be the end of my wellness era?

Drama huh.

But maybe its a good calling to be an ahli masjid.

Maybe this is my 40’s calling

I khatam Quran 3 times ok this Ramadhan. Riak dah.

But no one really read my blog. So not consider riak.

I memang terpaling.

Doa i get to go umrah end of this year.

So I can start next year with a purified heart.

Although kinda scared to go to Mekah.

Cuz im a sinnerrrr.

But everyone is, kan. 

Also takut will it be an invitation for more life challenges ahead.

“Are you considered urself beriman if you have never be tested?”

So, 

Dimulakan dengan Bismillah..

Boleh tk nk doa jadi Siti Khadijah di usia 40 tahun.

40

 …

At 40, Rasulullah receive his first wahyu.

At 40, S Khadijah married her love life, a 25 year old man.

…

Me at 40 wonder which path is destined for me.

Hobbies

 …

At the beginning of the year..

I was obsessed to be good in pilates particularly hanging.

Now i can do it with my eyes close.

Mid year..

I started functional strength training..

But since I didnt get tix for hyrox, i dont feel the urge to train harder for it. But i still go to the class from time to time.

August..

Out of sudden, i made headstand as my goal.

it already gets a bit too routine.. 

Now it kinda comes naturally for me.

October..

I have signed up for 8 sessions of freedive training.

Sometimes I asked myself why do I need to do all this.

I dont know..

Maybe i am bored.. or sad with my life..

Or want to prove to myself i can do hard things.

Or that I can do whatever I want to do.

Without any valid reasons to do so…

Its okay this is my YOLO year.

Next year, i want to shift my focus back to my career.

No more expensive hobbies.

It will be more expensive courses and training.

The thought of it already makes me bit depressed to enter next year.

Do I want that? Maybe not.

But do I need it? Yes, in this evolving cut throat new discoveries world everyday. Have to level up my skills.

September

.

I lost 2 loved ones in September. Different year.

Both were born in July.

Known them in a short time.

But enough to had me grieve for years.

Just like the waves.

It comes and goes.

Some days I accept.

Some days I blame myself.

Some days I miss them so much I wish I could turn back the time.

Today,

I grieve for her.

I grieve for him.

The lives that I have lost.

Forever.

Privelege

 ..I didn’t have.

I know exactly what she means.

I was lucky in some ways. I got into a good programme and now have a stable job.

I had many close friends growing up..

But I dont think they know this part of my story:

The reason I didn’t go to boarding school because no one can send me there.

I spent 5 years in local uni without my parents ever visit me.

No parents at my high school graduation (i was the valedictorian) , undergraduate and postgraduate graduation ceremony :)

Moved to Temerloh alone. I spent my first day raya oncall and second day raya alone. Moved back to KL alone.

Honestly, it didnt really bothers me back then. I simply accepted that was my normal. Its only now, looking back 20 years later that I realised..huh that was kinda sad.

But yeah, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Isnt it?

Maybe it does.

But wtf cares about being strong.

Sometimes I just wish I didn’t have to be.

Imagine hurting a girl with no safe place to run to..it is fortunate she did not expire in the process.

Obsession

This year, my mind seems obsessed with trying new things.

The question that pops in my head everyday..

What does 40 year old Jaja want to try to do today?

It started one fine morning in Phuket. At the end of the Yoga session at the resort, i saw this teenager doing a headstand at the end of the class. 

And i thought okay that looks hard but i can do that.

So i tried…

…and flopped miserably 🫣

But am I a quitter?

Procastinor yes, but quitter never.

On the last day there, I approached the instructor to teach me how to do a headstand.

And he did.

Fast forward 1 month, here I am trying all sorts of poses. On my own.

It reminds me never underestimate my body and strength. If there’s something I want to try, I’m learning to just go for it. 

Day 1 vs One day. ✨

My 40s Money Moves

Things I told my financial advisor..

 …who ended going to Barre Class with me 😆