Dream vs Nightmares

What happens when your dreams come true? The Princess rides off into the sunset with Prince Charming. What happens when a nightmare comes true? And if that nightmare of yours comes true, not to you, but someone close to you?

My niece had a seizure at school on Friday. She was taken to the hospital, and after testing they found a 3.7 cm growth on the left side of the brain. They dont know what it is, but will be doing more test and surgery this week.

For the last eight years, this is my biggest nightmare. I have always felt like one day I will be taken to the hospital and they will finally find something to explain this constant pain in my head.

I found out about this on Sat morning. But with a crazy busy weekend, I didnt fully compute what was going on until late Sunday, and then more on Monday. Mixed with other emotional conversations from the weekend, I broke down. I could not stop crying at work. I finally had to leave. My medicine to deal with life, is to watch a movie, preferably alone. Alittle weird, maybe. But its a way to be apart of someone elses life for a couple of hours. When I come back to reality, I usually have a larger perspective, and can think.

Contentment

I love Boston. I dont think that I have ever really truly love a place, until now. I walk around in the city, and I just feel at home. I drive around, and although I might be yelling at other drivers or pedestrians, and I love the feeling of accomplishment. (Unless you have been to Boston and tried to maneuver yourself through, I just cant explain. It can be a cross between Egyptian driving, and just plain stupidity!)

Boston is so absolutely quirky. Bathroom light switch is not in the bathroom is a good start. But even with the quirkiness of it all. Its has its beauty.

I love the character of the city. I love the big city life in a small town feel. I love the change of seasons. I love being able to take public transportation around town. I love being so close to so many other places. I love walking through the Prudential on my way home from work. I love driving fast down Storrow. I love driving back into Boston via I-93 and the Zakim Bridge. I love being able to see the skyline from the I-95 tollbooth. I love eating at diners. I love hanging out with my Books and Basketball friends. I love 4th of Julys Boston style, whether its watching the fireworks by canoe on the Charles, or from the Mass Ave Bridge, or just chillin on the bank of the Charles while listening to the Boston Pops. I love the people that I have meet and the situations that I have been apart of and learned so much from.

All of this is making it so much harder to find something else for me. I dont want to move on unless there is a definite reason to move on. I love this city. I dont want to leave it on a whim. But Im starting to feel the itch. The itch to do something new, and experience new things. But I have to find the right "thing."

One Month

Its been over a month since I have had caffeine! I have to admit that Im pretty darn proud of myself. There was no initial thought to stop drinking it. But after a couple of days, I just wanted to see how long I could go, more or less in an effort to prove that Im not addicted to it. Throughout the last month, I didnt really feel like any of my headaches were from the lack of caffeine, and really just about the same as always.

Oh how I really miss the taste of Pepsi and Dr. Pepper at the moment. Too bad the convenience store across from work only sells Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi. I would rather drown myself.