David Gray

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times Ive tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Ive been talking drunken gibberish
Falling in and out of bars
Trying to find some explanation here
For the way some people are
How did it ever come so far

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now
Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Let's try it again.. for the 57th time.

Starting tomorrow morning..

I can't wait to meet....

My beautiful niece... that's in a vase.

Stand Up 4 Equal Rights

I stand alone in my family in how I feel. That's fine... But I won't be quiet about my feelings. It is imperative for me to speak up as well as anyone else.

Being in California has really allowed me to think/feel/act in any manner that I want. I am pleased with how much I have learned in the past month. The experiences that I have had changed what kind of person that I am. I am grateful for them.

I will protest for equal rights for as long as it takes. I am not a second class citizen and should not be treated as such.

"So the thumpa-thumpa continues. It always will, no matter what happens, no matter who's President. As Our Lady of Disco, the Divine Miss Gloria Gaynor, has always sung to us, "We will survive."

It's time to re-prioritize my life...

I don't think that I necessarily thought Los Angeles entirely through. I was conversing with a friend and really was able to spew out what I really want in life. Good people, Good partner, Good food and drink, and happiness. I'm not sure what that entails, but so far, LA has not filled all of those requirements and I don't expect it to right away. I still have hopes and I'm not leaving any time soon. But I know that LA is not the right place for me to set up a home and live the rest of my life. I know, thats a while away but seriously it's all about the now. What am I doing now that may affect my future and how do I want to affect my future?

It's all up in the air, but what isn't?

Cheers.

I need my friends.

worst week ever..

seriously.

The amazingness that is my roommate...

I could not have lucked out any better with a roommate. Not only is my apartment the most adorable little thing and the rents cheap, but I got to assist her this week on the Tom Ford Spring campaign that she was styling for. Monday started with a casual trip to Warner Brothers costume studio... like seriously.. I died. Floor to ceiling of costumes that I have actually seen before! Oh and SATC clothes were there... not kidding.. That little gold piece Ms. Cynthia Nixon is wearing... I touched. Oh.... migod. We left and ventured over to Palace Costumes and well.. I died again. They had the most insane vintage bathing suits. Not kidding. Tuesday, I went to Smashbox studios with her to help her prep for Tom and the models... Umm I was part of fitting the model. So fun.. ;). Then I saw him... Tom Ford in his sexy, egotistical, raunchy self. I wasn't allowed to speak with him. Seriously. I wasn't even supposed to be there! Anyways, I saw him for a moment, then I had to leave and return some pieces to Palace. Being an assistant to a stylist is pretty spectacular. I hope I get to continue working for her...

Oh and I went o Barney's and was able to browse through shit that wasn't even on the floor... all because I had a "stylist" tag on.

I swear I'm not getting cocky about this. I'm super stoked and this shit doesnt happen to a lot of people. I'm very lucky.

Word.

Goodbye

There are many times that I felt like I had the greatest life here in Arizona. I am leaving amazing friends that have provided me with memories that could never be compared to, but there were a lot of times that caused me to be so frustrated.

I have always felt loved by my family and friends but I haven’t been so fortunate to feel accepted all the time. It’s a part of life that I have been conditioned to accept… It’s just funny to me that no one else is conditioned the same way.

My life here in Arizona is quickly coming to its ‘finale’ and I go to California with one expectation. I hope I allow myself to accept me, because I know that once I do, others will.

The time is coming..

I'm beginning to doubt my decision to leave.

I wish I was a stronger person and could just leave this life that has been so good to me here without doubting.

If Alicia Silverstone and Jason Mraz can do it..

So.. a while ago I became really interested in starting a raw food trial; however, I was not fully prepared for what kind of regimen was necessary. While searching some blogs tonight, I came across Steve Pavlina's blog. I have heard of him before. His blog provides tips of how to better your life and live longer. Well anyways, he did a 30 day trial at the beginning of the year and lucky for me, he documented everything. I looked through his daily journals of what he ate and how he functioned through the day and became very interested in following his example. I want to start the trial as soon as possible, but money is scarce, so I have to wait until the weekend. There's a bunch more involved in doing the trial... check out his blog to see what I am going to attempt doing --> http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/12/raw-foods/

Oh! No cigarettes today. I thought about them a couple times.. but the cravings are seeming easier to get over... onto tomorrow.

Kelly Bundy

So I heard today that Christina Applegate was diagnosed with breast cancer. Of course anyone who has to deal with cancer makes me sad, but I was especially sad to hear about her. While reading the article on People, I noticed that they mention that she just signed on to participate in "Stand up to Cancer." I then further researched this organization a little further. I recommend that everyone spend at least 5 minutes just looking through the website. I was impressed with the knowledge and the support that this organization is getting.

A couple weeks ago, I posted a blog regarding David Sedaris' new book and specifically his chapter on quitting smoking. At the time, I knew I was ready. However, I knew that it wasn't it the distant future.

After hearing about a friend of my sisters getting diagnosed with cancer at such an early age, as well as the news about my girl Christina, I have decided that I am finished with smoking. I had a pretty successful week last week, only smoking 2 out of the seven days. I have not had a cigarette since yesterday morning, and thankfully I haven't been overwhelmed with any withdrawals. I have had moments when I want one, especially when I'm speaking to someone and I can hear them smoking.. but I seriously think about "Stand Up to Cancer."

With cancer being so prevalent in today's world, I can at least try not to aide it in my body...

Time Machine

Sometimes I really believe that it is possible to travel through time. I have always hoped that it was possible and still do.

I wish I could be an actor in the 50's and 60's...

I've always thought that life in movies is typically portrayed over the top, but in the movies from the 50's... it was all so simple. I wish I could grow up in that period...

I Can't Live, If Living is Without You.

There's this intensely high level of boredom I am feeling with my current life in Arizona. I am so eager to move to LA and begin my program at FIDM. I feel like I am constantly wanting to change things with my current life, but realizing that it's really difficult change something your daily routine. Let me set it up for you.

Wake up... eat eggs and toast..
Work from 8:00 - 2:30 everyday. Eat a veggie burger or veggie burrito for lunch.
Smoke a cigarette
Bug one of my friends for a couple hours... usually Kali.
Smoke a cigarette
Watch Friends, WAG or What I Like About You to fill the empty void of having nothing to do..
Smoke a cigarette
Complete 10 minutes worth of homework
Watch Sex and the City, Flipping Houses, Kathy Griffin or Family Guy
Read for about a half hour
Go to bed.... listening to WAG.

Boring huh!? So here is how I am going to remedy this tragic lifestyle.

Wake up... Work out for 45 minutes. Eat eggs and toast..
Work from 8:00 - 2:30 everyday. Eat a veggie burger or veggie burrito for lunch. (Bring pasta or more vegetables)
Smoke a cigarette (Delete This)
Bug one of my friends for a couple hours... usually Kali. (Keep This!...maybe make more friends)
Smoke a cigarette (Delete This)
Watch Friends, WAG or What I Like About You to fill the empty void of having nothing to do.. (Read more and try and keep up with current events)
Smoke a cigarette (Delete This)
Complete 10 minutes worth of homework (Maybe extend this to more like an hour)
Watch Sex and the City, Flipping Houses, Kathy Griffin or Family Guy (Half to Keep This)
Read for about a half hour (Keep This)
Go to bed.... listening to WAG. (Maybe try the Discovery Channel)

I'm not sure how I'll do.. but I'll keep you updated! Word.

Don't Be So Dramatic

I swear. David Sedaris has changed my life as a reader, as a writer and as a person. In his latest memoir, "When You Are Engulfed in Flames," The last 100 pages or so detail his battle with quitting smoking. A little background if you haven't read anything from him, he is ridiculously intelligent but used to be a mad pothead, alcoholic and now smoker. Not just an occasional one in any are, like full on every day. Smoking was the last thing that he kicked and so far in my reading he has made it more than 4 weeks. Thats an accomplishment.



I started thinking about why I am still smoking. I have no real use for it. I don't enjoy it much. Most of my friends don't smoke and the ones that do I don't see enough to blame them. haha. While reading, Sedaris mentioned a lot of things he does that provoke him to smoke, a lot of which I do. There are those times when you see a dog jump and you're like "That deserves a cigarette" or when you're friend aces a test, welp that means that I deserve a cigarette. It's silly, but every smoker does it. Sedaris also talks about how it was easier to give up alcohol and pot, which didn't surprise me, but his explanation did. He said that it's easier to give up something that prevents you from living a normal life... well smoking does not do that. You don't get hammered or high from cigarettes, so why stop if you can still function all the same?



I really am confused about why I still smoke. My throat hurts about 97% of the year because "the weather conditions change too dramatically." Bullshit. I'm about 20 years and 150,000 more cigarettes from getting cancer in the throat!



So here's my latest attempt to killing the habit, and I did get this from Sedaris' book. I need to go back to the person I was before I started smoking...




EEK! Does anyone even know that person anymore? Well that's what my goal is. I'll updated daily and let you know how I'm doing. Peace bitches.

Flagstaff and Roger..

I roughed it this weekend... not showering for two days.. only washing my hair once... it was a big challenge. Britt, Brooke, Kal and I (plus one other who doesn't need mentioning) went up to see RCPM and had a fantastical time.

Britt, Kal and I singing Mexican Moonshine

"Don't go."

"Brittany! My pants are soaked" "What? Ok."

Kal and I's first RCPM concert!

Roger..

Our RCPM crew... we made some friends