L5D..

Let's see, Here I am sitting at the laptop facing the window..Looking at the luggages that i had packed-boxes that i had wrapped - still charging my phone..Most things are done and set at the each corner of my room while chatting with Yukoo* on msn!! Yukoo* ask me to change my mind on Jason and try to patch things: although i dun think it's really necessary but i might consider as i still dearly loves him which his action had scarred me..So, like i say-i will think what am gonna later on!! Dun talked bout him de..Jeez* Let's see, the calender of 2009 is still handing on my board while all the other notes-photos-cards-details had been removed from the board of mine..

The calender of 2009 had been on the wall when I moved in to L5D, Clive Booth Hall..That calender which marks dates-remarks of my activities and many important issues of my life as well-am going to take it out tomoro when i leave my room!! Let's begin by talking about my dear crib: Moved in on the 13th of Sept 2008..Not really impressed when i saw it from the outlook after taking a 12+ hours flight from Malaysia to Heathrow then 1+hour from Heathrow to Oxford then got stranded 30mins outside hall office looking for my Block L..Which when finally i realize the Block L is like up the hill-behind some hiding bushes-behind some road-behind some mountain..(ok ok-bit over de)..It's just far le, condition of the house.? Saw horror movie before -The Holiday Lookalike with the Pullen's Lane nightmare..? Yeah, but now-i'm proud to say, I'm gonna Miss this Damn* place once I'm off to Cresent tomoro!! Coz' this place had shared great memories and even bad ones : most of all, I shared love among this place which provides me comfort of being at home..

L5D: I dun say I'm not an emotional human but waking up every morning looking out the window with squirrels and birds around.? It's just getting normal nowadays-going to the kitchen n spots some wild ducks-geese.? dogs-cats, it's just hillarious at times.. Sharing my another passion of Life in cooking - the kitchen proven to be the place of all time when i'm need of food: cooking breakfast, having lunch and cooking dinner with my baby* It's just a routine for me!! Getting ready from the house to go party-clubbin or whatever activities, the place to gather-drinking place-gambling place: Clive Booth had always been the one!! I even met new ppl, talk to random ppl and those annoying fire drills even give me free attention from guys tim* See, what can i say.? Sometimes, annoying things leave u good memories!! Shared Autumn with the house - Shared Winter with the House - Shared Spring with the House - Semi Shared Summer with the house.?
Well, if it all above considered- I almost spend 4 seasons with the house.. In the end, baby & me are the ones left with the house till right at the end of 8th.. Guess, the house provides us more than we wanted to..

Let's recall the bad times, looking back : I've got my Laptop stolen from my Room-Somemore got policemen come neh (but not good looking one) The part where I hafta give statement somemore neh! Yeah, that was bad enough.. Hrmm, many issues revolve again and again in the house.. Some incidents of stealing-missing stuff from the kitchen..haha!! that porvides entertainment along the way!! What else.? Oh yeah, about some random guy pissed at the tree outside our house and he did peed at the post box of Chi's house-crazy drunk ass!!
What bout the good times..? I've hang around with a bunch of good friends in the place.. Cook nice-delicious dishes in the kitchen..Good times well spend watching movie n hanging around with Jason when we're still together-walking around the park and what not.. Just lotsa activities that revolves our daily life-walking down n up of pullen;s lane means provided great sense of exercise!! Spot me any slimmer.? Mayb it din work on me-dammit*
So, yeah the good n bad memories gathered means: I had cried in the room before-lah, laughed in the room before-lah, gossip in the room before-lah when talking to ppl on extension : my extension is 74313 mer!! Now, i move out-tarak point liao..Dun bother calling me on extension-U wont find Mel there!! Wait, let me dig the whole long number sin :08443094313..Nah nah nah, Dun try calling from overseas ar, Mel is not here after tomoro ar..But i might wana try geh-who knows later on is a leng jai that move in neh-then i can pura pura say wrong number* cough*cough* Oh, most important thing is I SLEEP in my dear Room la : Snore* Snore*..Miss the Comfy Bed : sleep on floor when go Cresent coz mummy sleep on bed * Damn kesian** Arrghh!!

Yeah, so that covers most the things: but all i wana say is-i think i will realli miss this piece of place afterall this while i was cracking n complaining the shit out of it..Truth is, i just put my love piece by piece n giving it in day by day to this room of mine- to this place of mine.. Somehow, along the way-when i was packing my stuff and cleaning the room.. I felt there will always be a piece of me around coz' it's the shared memories that will be left behind.. What more.? Block L Room 5D : dedication of post had ended**
So, Cresent here I come..?

T.S.H.J.B 7

The Whole Momentum of the Scene just Paused..
My Heartbeat Stops the moment the Glass Breaks into Pieces as I'm Looking into Her Eyes..

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The door smacked OPEN, and Yun Ho came in..
He paused upon seeing both of Us, specially focusing on the broken glasses & medicine spilled all over the floor..But he's partially Eyeing on Our Body Language!!

'Yah, What happen here? And What are you doing here? Aren't Hana suppose to be in here attending to Jae Joong's need?
And, don't even get me asking on WHY are you so Near to Him?
what have you done? Please step away from him', He said in a very stern manner & seems to be very serious over matter..

I'm feeling sorry for my action & kept apologizing to both of them but I don't think Yun Ho is paying attention to my apologies..
'I am really SORRY, I admit that I've gone bit over board by getting so near to him..I did not meant to cause trouble'

'By your action, it's bit dissapointing on how efficient you carry out your work and representing your company', Yun Ho replied later on..

I'm really devastated upon hearing his comment on my work & afraid my action had ruin my Cousin's company's Image..I'm really afraid and begin to cry..I did not cry with intention either, It's just that it happened as I can't seem to control my fear that it will affect my Cousin's project!!

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[Seeing her shredding tears, makes my heart cry in silent!! It's as if, my heart is being torn into pieces & i Swear not to make her Cry again..]

' Yun Ho, why are you stern to her? What makes you think she's creating trouble to mE?

She never do anything at all, I am just resting when she comes in..
Do not scold her, Okay? ', He raised his voice towards Yun Ho..

Yun Ho is astonished by his action!! He begin to wonder, what is wrong with him?
'Excuse me, I am here to protect you and checking on how your doing?
I'm worries things may happen to you, just in case any Anti-Fan pop in to harm you, and here you are raising your voice to Me!! Because of who? HER?'..Yun ho is in disbeliefment*

'If you would like to detect and protect us from any harm..Believe Me, SHE'S NOT AN ANTI-FAN..She would not harm me at all', He really meant it in his sentence..

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I can't take it anymore, In this kind of situation!! It looks as if, I had create a huge mess and disaster..I had make the both of them argue, Arguements are not suppose to happen and not suppose to involve me..
I had cause such a trouble & if my cousin get blames then I'm gone for good..

Less of concern on their arguements, I ran and left them behind..I rushed to the Ladies to hid myself..
He ran behind me and tryna explain BUT I just did not listen cause I'm busy crying my eyes out for all the things I've done..

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Yun Ho begin to get suspicious over the both of them based on their action..
He tipped toe and followed Jae Joong's back..
He hid behind to the Wooden Board and saw Jae Joong standing outside the Ladies' room..

Things are getting Suspicious, What is He Doing outside the Ladies?
What is He Telling Her?

T.S.H.J.B 6

Baby Boo..'I'm always thinkin bout you'..

Distancing myself from you is a wise choice perhaps?..I can't seem to get it clear, why would you appear at this time around?
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'Yah, Joong? Are you alrite? Why you walked away so sudden? Are you feeling alrite? Anything wrong with set-up?'

Shaking the back of Joong to get an answer!!

'Aish, YunHo..let me have a minute on my own!! Feeling bit Headache, mayb coz' yesterday slept late..I'll rest a bit in the Changin room..You guys carry on shootin your parts and i'll be back in a while'

'Headache?' Aish, told you that you should rest early since today we're shooting MV today, You do know U just got well from flu rite? Alrite, you take a rest n i'll send someone to get medicine for you'..
Walks back hurrily and get an assistant to get medication!

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At the meantime, I'm wondering..Even Stars get the Sick moment, it's kinda an oppourtunity for me to sneak in the changin room and ask for his Autograph while all the people are busy wif their works..Unless of course, the big guy guard stand guard there-Ish? If just i could find some way to sneak in..Thinkin evil scam to try to succeed my plan!!

An assistant(Hana) walking pass wif a glass of water and medicine(here comes my luck)..But she's in a hurry and tryin to answer her cell at the same time..I already chat wif her for couple of time on the set so suddenly my bright light had shine-i can attack her for my perfect plan..hehe..
I approach Hana and directed while she answer her call, Perhaps i can help her send the water n medication to Jae Joong?
She seems reluctant but while answering phone calls, she need to settle on the clothing line so she can't actually run so many things at one go!! So, she gave up & let me do the honour while i promise her in sign languange-I'm Realiable person!! haha

So along she ran and get things done wif the clothings!! I am the HONOURABLE person now to send medication and water..haha..I'll pass by the Guard to let him know-I WILL ENTER the room..
But then, and i thought of Flashin my Ego towards the Guard-He went to the Gents* Yikes, talking bout giving protection to Stars? Fainted..
So i knocked on the door and went in..
I saw Him sitting on the sofa, felts like fast asleep but his face expressions give me the thought of him being quite Uncomfortable..

I walked nearer n approach him in silence..
I get closer and now i'm face to face wif him up close..
Oh my God!! He's gorgeous with no Flaws..
Perfect skin-felt like touching his face..
10 seconds had pass with me staring at him like an Idiot..I dun even know what should i do now?
Should i wake him up? Should i secretly lay my hands on him? Should i leave the medicine on the table?
But without any reaction from my brain-my fingers slowly brushed thru and gently touch his face..

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He abruptly & slowly woke up and stared at me..
Panic as i was, I drop the Glass of water & medicine on the floor !!
The whole momentum of the scene just PAUSED~

因为我爱你。。(Tiny Chap. of T.S.H.J.B)

This is what's running in His Mind when He saw Her for the first time after the incident. Shocked as he is, he tried to ran away from the reality and tried to hide his feelings. Somehow, nothing can change and nobody can change the way it is except.. HIM & HER*

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Somehow, Sometimes even a Smart person can Be a Fool when the Time Comes..

执迷不悟，也要等着你。。

因为我爱你，若得欢你珍惜付出, 我愿意。。

因为我爱你，执迷不悟-我也要等你。。

这一生也要爱这你。。

我不成爱得那么勇气。。

Looking deep into your eyes, wondering what were you thinking when You saw me walked away without looking back..

Do you even know what doe it feels like seeing you again, specially at times like this when i'm not even ready?

Why do you have to appear now and not later?

Why do you have to pretend nothing is wrong when there is?

Why do you have to look at me the way you always do?

I don't even know what to do when I'm so confused* I'm afraid of looking back-I'm afraid of seeing you and losing the feeling again!!!

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Holding the gift that you gave me the day where we're suppose to say Goodbye!

Seeing you again, did not really makes a difference..

You did not change a bit except for the memories that we've shared..

It's impossible and never ever cross my mind that I'll ever seeing you again..

I mean At least not for Now.. Maybe when I'm ready..

Am I being SELFISH? Am I being UNFAIR to You?

I don't want to forget about the past but I don't want to keep it either..

So, what am I suppose to do.. I've been trying to hide-Hide from you, past, memories and every single thing that we've shared..

But, seeing you face-to-face had got me thinking.. I can't hide anymore-I can't pretend nothing had happened..

I'm feeling more guilty than ever when I see you..

But I'm feeling more depresses when You look me in the eyes coz' somehow I know you no longer have me as apart of your life..I've become a missing piece in your puzzle the day when you lost your memory..

That's the day, where things had to come to an end!!

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Things will be difficult but I'm sure I'll get through it, with you around.. Even though you had no idea what's going on..

I'll face you with courage and I'll do matter what it takes to keep myself calm..

Nothing is going to change the fact that, We're just not meant to be together from the START..

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The Story Has Just Begun 5..

Meeting up with the rest of the crew after we’re done having lunch it part of the job. And I wish I had more time strollin on the endless-fashion street of japan after lunch. Too bad! Oh well, seeing all the crew members are busy with the gears and setting up back-drops for the video session later on, makes me feel excited~ Passing through the make-up/changing rooms.

I managed to peep into the slighty open door, there are couple of guys inside and some hair-stylist doing the final touch-up on them. How I wished I got hair-stylist doing my hair instead? Maybe I should do corn-rows on my hair-imaginable? Yikes! But and again, trying very hard to peep longer, just to see what superstars do and talk about inside the mid size room. Suddenly someone patted on my back?!? 'Ya, Who are you? And what you trying to do? Look at your tag-the Malaysian crew member ya? Your not suppose to wander everywhere and specially not peeping at the stars! Please go back to your position now’, he sounded very stern and pointing at the main hall to alert that I should head back there. From his appearance, I guess he can either be the manager or security of the star.

Do as he said, I decided to head back to the hall. The stars initally walked out of the room to see what happen. But I assume, all they can see is my back and shadow leaving the hall..I wouldn’t want them to shoot me to death for peeping at them, but I really want to know who are they although hearing they are the stars from Korea. And I begin to wonder, korean stars but staying in japan for most of the time? Connection-the question remain unsolve.

Finally, after waiting for an hour or so, the set are done and the filming can start already. When the stars step out and join in the crew to gte further explanation on how things should run later on during filming. I’m not able to seem them clearly.But there’s nothing I can do to get near them, I’m not exactly a official crew to discuss coz’ I don’t know what’s the main factor to run things. So I can just see them from a distance-the rest and relax place for crew and others. Before the filming start, Jenna screamed for me to hand her the sketch plan for the stars to see. So, I get the plan and walked towards her direction, this is the chance for me to see them clearly!!

Upon reaching and handing her the plan, Jenna mentioned; ‘There, this is the korean famous group:Dong Bang Shin Ki’. Pointing at them and I guess, I was sorta stunned to see them up close! They are the one that my sister showed me on the magazine-I bet she’s gonna lose her head when I tell her the news.But and again, I find it weird after Jenna introduce me, one of the member-Jae Joong gasped and walked off the discussion. Then , the leader-Yun Ho followed him. And I wonder what happened to him.

The Story Has Just Begun 4..

We’re catching our flight with Jenna’s crew to Japan.It seems like she had to lead this co-operation with the advertising team in Japan. Her boss had some advertising business going on with the troop over in Japan. She managed to win the project over her colleague-so here we go!

I just tag along as her assistance. She used to have this assistance of hers to tag along with her on every business trip but got fired by her. The cause of it: after she kept reporting Jenna’s move to Jenna’s husband-Wai Hong. Poor girl, Wai Hong actually wanted to know how Jenna’s doing since she’ll always busy and what not. Ended up-she got fired due to the reason of Un-Professional as assistance, no trust!

But, no matter! This is going to be her last business trip as she got this very good news that she got pregnant for 1 month, so she’s going to be a good mummy-wife in the house and not go mad on her workload no more! Good for Wai Hong!!
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Reaching Tokyo is a big thing since I have not been there before. It’s an eye opening for me as we check in The Ritz Carlton at Roppongi.

But, Jenna said,
‘Merlinna, tomorrow is going to be a long day! We will instantly start work after we meet up with the organizing team!So, would you mind passing my luggage, my laptop! I’ll show you a couple of slides and you give me some idea! Because those are going to be run down for the commercial! Okay?’

‘But, I’ve got no knowledge about commercial or what not! I’m totally a blank minded person!’

‘That’s exactly what I want? Imagine you’re the one watching this commercial. What are the first things that run into your head! Preferably these notions are going to be carrying out by the models-superstars. Okay?’

‘Oh, Okay’

Both of the cousins discuss the run down and discover some notions, which will be better off in other way! Making some changes and then they sank their head to dreamland!
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Waking up and rushed over to the office tower in town with the crew is hectic.
But it’s all-fine since everybody is really excited about his or her work.

I’m just sitting outside the work room as Jenna went in and present her piece of work while other people gets ready their gears for later.
I do not dare to wander off so I sat quietly in the corner and listen to my Mp3.

Each of us is given a VIP Pass as an entrance pass is needed. I’ve got no time to loose but snap few pictures around and myself!
Jenna came out after 45 minutes and say,

‘Merlinna, you sit here for a while. I’ve got to go over to the costume-attire department to get something sort out with the team. I’ll pick you up later and we’ll go for lunch. Okay? Anything means give me a ring!’

She then left with few people in a lift. I nodded my head and sit still. I’m in the 5th floor to be honest; there are not many people coming in and out from the office room. I manage to peep; it’s like a unit full with mini meeting rooms. But not much of people around so I think it is use as meeting rooms or discussion rooms!

I’ve got nobody to talk to since Jenna went and do her thing. The crew from Malaysia has paired with their work partner from the Japan crew. I’m separated since I’m just so-call assistance and Jenna scared I’ll be lost with some of the workloads in the office. So, I’m all-free to be alone but she assured that when we have our outdoor filming for the commercial-I would not be left out! Yay!
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After a while, there are people coming out from the lift. To be exact, I’m sure from the footsteps- I’m guessing there should be around 5 to 6 persons walking towards my direction.

I did not look at any of them since I’m afraid they’ll start asking me question in Japanese which I’ve no idea. Therefore, I look at my Mp3 and ignored them. They walked past and enter into the room in the corner.

The Story Has Just Begun 3

‘Merlinna, It’s Jenna here. I’m wondering if your free this couple of days because I though of asking you to join me in this business trip of mine. You know just to be my partner or assistance - not to worry about the air ticket and what not because my company will take care of it.
I’ve ask Aunty, and she does not seem to mind as she mention you probably would want to see other places as well. So, what do you say? Phone me tomorrow after you think about it, Okay?’ she then hang up the phone.

I wonder what kind of trip is cousin Jenna bringing me? But I do not really mind on going places anyway-since I’ll be leaving to U.K in 3 weeks time. Since mom permits then I think I’ll go ahead with it. Perhaps I should start packing my stuff-I’ll ask Jess to help me out!

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‘Jess!! Cousin Jenna asks me to tag along with her on this trip of hers. So faster help me pack some clothes and dig some stuff! Please? Hello, are you there listening to me?’

‘Yeah! Yeah! I’m here. What to pack some more- just bring yourself and go then enough already! But what are you going to do there- she’s not on vacation? What you want to find, princess?’

Sticking out my tongue! ‘ I don’t know where she’s going but I think I would prefer a camera? So I can snap pictures and Mp3 to kill time if I’m bored’

‘Sorry, but I do not think your camera is here. Since you brought it to Prague-That’s the last of it! Wonder where it went after that? But not to worry, I’ve got a brand new one-I’ll lend it to you! But extra souvenirs and interest charging fee’

Role my eyes and ignore her! Then wonders why my things went missing after the trip in Prague? Maybe I got robbed and met in an accident! Yikes!

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She never replies my message. Did she receive my message? Or did she understand what I sent her?

I think I need to talk about it to Yun Ho! He should know what I should do or how I should handle this kind of situation without me cracking my head!

Walking over to Yun Ho’s room, without knocking and just slammed the door open.
Yun Ho gave me this stare as if he’s going to eat me up as he’s arranging his clothes in the luggage!

‘Je Jung ah! Don’t you knock on the door before you enter?’

‘Mianhamnida! But I’ve got this serious thing to talk to you!’

‘ What is it that you want to talk about? You’ve always been carefree. Nothing seem to be obstructing you but I think the 4 of us sense something is wrong with you after you return from Prague! So, what happen’

I slowly sat down, take a long breath and sighed,

‘IT all begins with a bump in the staircase in the Castle….’

* It Hurts Me, everytime I think of You and What we could achieve together if We're given a Chance! Just Once!!!!!!*