Give and Take Away

Our family of 5 will be turning into a family of 6 in February.  We are all very excited about this little blessing and he/she will be the perfect addition to our family.  I feel so blessed to have another one to train and raise.  God is good!

 In sad news... my dearly loved Grandmother passed away on Sat.  It's so sad to think she is truly gone and I will never again be able to call her or hear her voice or see her smile.  She was an amazing lady!  As I have reflected on our lives I can't remember a time that I have asked something of her and she told me no.  She gave and gave and it didn't matter what she had going on in her schedule she always made time for me and made me feel special.  She did it with everyone in her life.  I don't know what we are going to do without her. It's really made me think a lot of how I want to be like her.  I want to give of myself so willingly and bless others with my time.  I want to be a grandma like she was.  We played cards a lot.  Whenever grandma was around that is what we did, usually until 1 in the morning.  At first I thought I would never be able to play again because it would just be too sad but I can't give up her legacy.  I'm going to have to continue it in memory of her and teach it to my kids and grandkids.  I'm so glad she is no longer in pain and is free from the troubles of this life.  It sure is going to be hard to wait until heaven to see her again.  I know God is taking great care of her.  I love you Grandma and will miss you always.  Thank-you for all you did for us and always with a willing heart.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.  Job 1:21

Green Smoothies

Most of you who know me, know that I am kind of a health nut.  I'm not too fanatical but I do strive to do healthy eating for myself and my family.  No high fructose corn syrup, no food colorings, try to avoid genetically modified organisms (GMO's) etc..  Through my journey, and it is a journey, I come across things that work for us and will stick and other things that don't. 

Remember those green smoothies I've talked about.  It's a food that is going to always stay in our lives. It's whole food, nothing processed, and does wonders for detoxing your bodies and supporting your organs.  I do a mixture of spinach, kale, lettuce, collard greens, beets, carrots, cucumber, apple, orange, banana, strawberries, pineapple, blueberries.  Just whatever sounds good to me at the time and whatever I have on hand.  I have gone through several regular cheap blenders and finally decided to take a step and buy the vitamix.  It works awesome and can even grind wheat and make nut butters.  You can also make ice-cream or fruit sorbets in them as well as hot soups. Joel loves the ability to through some tomatoes in and some cream and some seasonings and have instant hot tomato soup.

 I decided to become an affiliate and I now get to offer the savings on to you guys.  You can have free shipping on any order just by ordering through my link.  If you've been on the fence about purchasing one I highly recommend one.  It works so much better than any blender I have ever tried.  My whole family now does a green smoothie a day with me which is a great way for my kids to get vegetables I would never be able to get them to eat. 

If you are interested in seeing them or purchasing one.. here is the link.

In other news

I broke my arm a month ago now. I was unloading my kids bikes out of the back of our truck and the tailgate popped open and out I fell. There have been some praises through it all though. Our church has been a huge blessing to us and has truly shown me what the hands and feet of Christ are like. We had 3 weeks of meals and random people stopping by to clean my house and see what we need help with. My oldest brother even stopped by several different times to help. I never thought I'd see that day. I feel so thankful for him and his wife!

I won't lie the night it happened I laid awake the whole night, partly from pain, and partly from fear. Fear of how to take care of my kids, change Kenan's diapers, cook food, clean. Just do life.
God saw fit to take care of every need right down to the nitty gritty. Once again it has been a huge lesson in faith and in letting go. Letting go of things I think need to happen and letting God show me what He wants to have happen. All in all it has been a wonderful experience for me. I never, ever thought I would say that about a broken arm but God has imprinted on my heart more truths of him. "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 He showed me that verse quite literally in the last month.

During all this Abby got a concussion. It was quite scary when at 2 a.m. she woke up with a throbbing headache and threw up and had one pupil dilated and the other one not. I'm sure we were a site at the E.R. Me with my hot pink cast and Abby with a concussion. I hope we are done with our injuries now for awhile but I'm not going to fret one little bit about it because I know that no matter what happens God has us in His hands.

Honesty is a virtue

It seems overwhelming to look at this blank page. There is so much to say and such a jumble getting it from my head to hand.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. I had no idea when I stepped into this almost 7 years ago the amount of time, effort and heart I would have into my children. Naturally I assumed I would love them and they would love me and adore me and obey every single thing I said, the first time. Is it surprising to you that it hasn't turned out quite like that?! It is to me.

We've been dealing with the issue of lying lately. Not just some little white lie but deliberate, I promise you I didn't do it over and over kind of lying. Not having dealt with this yet I do what any newbie would do... I panic! My mind automatically jumps to the future and I think if she can lie to us this easily and with such a sure mouth of course the next thing to follow is stealing or even worse murder. Ok.. I might be jumping to a few conclusions here but I know it is something we need to nip now.

All week we read the children's book of virtues which talks about honesty and we read stories on honesty. We've talked about how when we catch her in a lie it makes us not be able to trust her and if we can't trust her then how can we believe anything she says even when it could be something major. We just got done reading about George Washington today and his famous quote, "I can not tell a lie, it was I." His dad then goes on to tell him that it takes such courage to tell the truth and that is always the best way and we went into length about that. (Enter big sigh of relief).. I feel like I covered all my bases and was feeling quite good about her knowledge of truth and lies and how we are to be honorable and reflect Christ.

Then tonight it happens...gulp... we ask her to tell us the truth on a matter and she looks in our eyes and adamantly denies having a part in it. After several minutes of denial she caves and tells us the truth. I was shocked. How can the lying still be a part of her. After several minutes of talking she was sent to her room for bed at 6:30. That is a huge consequence for our little night owl who loves family time. We want her to know it is serious and won't be tolerated, but, we also want her to know that our God is a God of grace who loves us despite our imperfections and weaknesses. We all give in to fear at times and do things that aren't honorable and courageous. Thank goodness God knows that and he doesn't expect us to be perfect, just that we strive. So strive we shall and we will keep growing this side of heaven until one day we can be made perfect.

In the meantime if any of you know what else to do about lying I am all ears.

This and That

Some updates:

*My sister left to go back to her overseas home.
*We all miss her madly.
* Joel has been home for the last week totally unpaid sick with what seems like the plague.
* My little Emmy now has it and just lays and moans while running a 104 temp.
* My guess is that we have influenza. Not fun.
*Kenan has broken in 3 2 year old molars in the last month. He's teething like crazy.
*Abby is reading fluently and with inflection... she really just picked it up and went with it.
*I'm loving learning biblical history with her and understanding the chronological order of events.
*I get to go to a Casting Crowns concert with my husband coming up soon.
*I'm now on day 17 of raw smoothies but I did get to add in one cooked meal a day.. only meat.. no grains and no dairy
*I have tons of pictures to post and hope to soon but just don't have the energy right now.

I think that is all for now. Hopefully next time I write we are all flu free.

Challenges

I have embarked on a new journey. I will only be drinking raw fruits and veggies that I juice. Sound crazy? Watch Fat, Sick and nearly dead and you'll see why. My dr. put me on this diet. It is really hard. Today is day 4 and so far the worst day by far. I am constantly having to qoute Bible verses and tell myself I can do this.

Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Free

I read a post today at passionate homemaking that really resonated with my soul.

It was all about feeling guilty in our mothering and how we never measure up and we condemn ourselves. I'm there... everyday. I'm beginning to see a light.. something different than these thoughts and rules I can never measure up to. Something called Grace.

Here is an excerpt from it:
"My outbursts of anger were nailed to the cross before I even walked this earth. My fear of failure is a waste of my energy. He paid the greatest price for them. In order to experience true freedom from guilt, I must stop focusing on all that I need to do in order to become a better mother. I must first turn my gaze upon what He has already done for me.
The only way to become a better mom is to preach the gospel to myself every day. It’s not by behaving that makes me a better mom, it’s by believing- believing more deeply in what He has accomplished.
God doesn’t call me to be perfect. He calls me to embrace my standing before him, and to run in that freedom he has already granted to me! I am adored by Christ! I am redeemed! I am accepted!"

Go here to read the whole story

Grace is whispering to my diseased soul new thoughts. Thoughts that free me. Thoughts that affirm who I am in Christ. Thoughts of courage and not fear. Come grace come!

“Because Jesus was strong for me, I am free to be weak;
because Jesus won for me, I am free to lose;
because Jesus was someone, I am free to be no one;
because Jesus was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary;
because Jesus succeeded for me, I am free to fail.” -Tullian Tchividjiant.

Awed

It really struck me tonight that God would allow just normal, average people like us
To be entrusted with so much

What a privelage and such a high calling.

"Train up a child in the way he should go :And when he is old, he will not depart from it."Proverbs 22:6

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."
Psalm 127:3

follow-up

Lastnight after writing the Secret Post listen to what I read;

"God made each of us with a vulnerable place inside our souls--a desire to be wanted, loved, and chosen above all others. I think that is what ultimately drives people on both sides of an arena-filled stage. The person on stage is looking to have this vulnerable place filled by the screaming crowd. The screaming crowd somehow thinks this famous person has it all figured out; if only they can just get close, some of that fulfillment will surely rub off on them.

All the while Jesus stands off to the side and wonders if anyone realizes He's the One our souls long for...not the fame...nor the attention of the famous...and not the millions of other things we'll spend our lives thinking we must have.

The answer to our deepest desires is not the seemingly perfect (emphasis mine) life...not the most romantic husband...not the smartest and most well-behaved kids...not the bigger house...not the better job...not the awards and recognition of people...not in trying to feel our way to God.

It's making the choice to recognize God is close....God is there. Loving. Assuring. Teaching. Calling. Choosing to spend time with us. ----- Lysa Terkeurst in her Becoming more than a good bible study girl book.

Wow.. If that wasn't God speaking directly to me. Sometimes he just knocks my socks off like that!

Secret

I've been struggling for quite sometime with the secret to contentment. I've always known it is something I must possess in order to be fulfilled and living how God wants me to be. Yet, it has always been a fleeting thought for me.

I find I am always wondering what so and so's life is like or wondering how they could be blessed so huge while we are trying so hard and it seems like we struggle greatly. Ugly thoughts I know but it has been the truth for me for too long. I've come to realize that it is really just jealousy. Ok, I know what you are thinking.. how can someone who claims to know Christ, and has been given way more than she deserves, be jealous. I don't know why or how and I hate these feelings and yet I have them. Whew... It's out.

Lately through some wise words and through retraining myself I think I am finding how to be content with what I have...with who I am... with MY life.
You see, no one has the perfect life. Even those who may act like they do and make you long for what they have. There is no perfection this side of heaven.. only the illusion of it. I think those deep longings we feel in our hearts are just going to be there forever until Heaven when God satisfies us and we are in His presence.


Our job now is to kick out the if only I had that thoughts... or life would be easier if..etc... Instead replace them with thoughts of praise and gratitude for what has been done for us. Sure we may have to work harder than others but thank-you God that we are not handicapped and we are able to work. We may have to sacrifice more (or so it seems), but Thank-you God that you have met all our needs that we are able to give. We may feel like we aren't loved, or significant to the world but, Thank you Father that you would have died even if it was just for me.

What more could I possibly need or want. God is enough and that is reason to be content.

For further reading I strongly encourage you to pick up Lysa Terkeurst's book Becoming more than a good bible study girl. It is phenomenal and will challenge you in many areas of your life. (Unless you're perfect! ;-) )