Sunday, September 18, 2011

starting over....

i wish i can let go of everything....and start over....

met some people on board of this ship.....and deep inside my heart i wish i can drop everything go on board of the ship for 2 years.....

but with career....family.....responsibilities....
oh well....just a small wish i can get on the ship, throw everything out and start over :)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

busy months....

its been a very hectic few months........big decisions....big responsibilities......big improvement....big step.........

i still wish you are here everynight.......sometimes i hope i can see you in my dream so i can give you a big hug and you will tell me "my eldest son.....you did well....."

time flies.......but the same feeling on that quiet night still remains

Monday, May 02, 2011

hope you're proud of me :)

one year flew just like that.....this past year i've done so much more than i've ever done in my life.......

looking back on the things i do.....on the achievements......on all my accomplishments....i really wish you were here to enjoy them with me

i really wonder what you will say......what will you do if you were here.....how you would act....

still hoping someday you will come and visit....so that all my unanswered questions will be answered.....

dad.....we are doing well here..... hope you are proud of your son

love you always dad......

Thursday, February 10, 2011

last day with dad....

this was written in my diary sometime ago.....some flash back.....

17 febuary 2010
Remembering the last time we spent time together…..me you brother and mum went to watch shu qi er movie, and I still remember on the way to the theatre, I receive a call from the lousy agency promising to put me in shell or microsoft. And you gave me a paper and a pen to take them the number and you want that paper back. We went out of the car and you went to park, we were at the rooftop. i remember when we watch movies you will always buy potato chips from watson/guardian. you did that because you dont like popcorn and coke....

After we watch the movie, which was very nice, we went to i-city, driving down the beautiful trees seeing all the light while hearing you complain that the government spent millions of dollars on thess trees. We did not get down and you keep driving us to show us the beauty of the city despite the jam. After that you went down and down and down the dangerous car park to exit the place. If I am not wrong, you drop me to buy pao….always asking everyone what we want before giving me the money for me to go down and buy.

That night, We went home and I was suppose to go back to subang, dad walk out at the middle of the night to go to the toilet, while I was onlining as usual to check out on me, and instead of scolding me, he offer to cook for me. Ask me to leave for work in the afternoon so he can cook lunch for me. The next day I woke up ate the rice and the fish he steam for me. (he bought fish even when we don’t have much) and I left for work.

Before i walk out I ask him dad, I will go for the interview, and right after the interview I will come home and ask you about it. You told me not to sign anything and I agreed.

later that week, u send me one last sms. Are you coming home tonight? During kai jing's birthday.....your last sms to me which i did not reply because i felt so bad that i was not coming home.
Little did I know, that was the last sms he sent to me....the lasst time I see my dad conscious. Appreciate your love ones, love them and say what you have to. Never leave any good thing unsay.