Brendan's baptism

Brendan is 7 months old today....hard to believe how fast time is flying.  He's sitting by himself, rolling from his front to back, talking, talking, and talking.  He loves the exersaucer and can entertain himself for quite a while!  He has taken to Barley--he watches him all of the time, laughs, tries to grab him, and his new favorite past time is riding Barley :)  His favorite toy these days is the $1 beach ball I purchased last week.  He is becoming quite the eater--he loves fruits (mangoes, bananas, apples, and pears) and vegetables (sweet potatoes, carrots, squash are all great but he has not developed a fondness for peas yet!)  He's such a good baby and has the sweetest demeanor.  I have no idea where he got his laid-back personality from!

We had an exciting week in Denver, starting with Aunt Mary and Uncle Bill arriving with Emily and Sarah.  We spent Sunday at the pool....it was pretty chilly but Sarah loved it!  Brendan...not so much.  Monday was Memorial Day and we went to the Denver Zoo with Aunt Steph and Uncle Mike and Evan and Sydney.  We had a great day!!  Unfortunately, the McNiffs got sick midway through the week which definitely put a damper on their week with us :(  Grandpa S. joined us on Wednesday, and Meme and Papa came to visit on Thursday.  Uncle James arrived late Thursday night.  The whole clan was here!!!  Saturday, June 5th was the baptism at Christ the King Church in Denver.  Deacon Jack Sutton performed the ceremony for Brendan and Evan.  It was lovely (pictures below).  Brendan wore the Sullivan christening gown--we think that his Great-Grandma Sullivan was among the first to wear it on her baptism day.  It is absolutely gorgeous and we felt so lucky to have his amazing heirloom!  We followed the ceremony with mass and dinner at Maggiano's.  It was great.  I was thinking of Grandma Sullivan during the day--I know she was watching us.  I thought it was interesting that the mass took place on the feast of the eucharist and Mom S. was a dedicated eucharistic minister.  I think it was a sign that she was right there with us.

Sunday afternoons....

Gotta love Sunday afternoons.  Everyone's asleep in the living room in their respective spots (Barley, next to me; Mike, on the couch; Brendan, on his activity mat on Aunt Happy's quilt).  It gives me a few minutes to actually get something done :)

Brendan and I visited Aunt Steph yesterday.  Everyone is ready for the arrival of Jo Jo!  No contractions as of yet, so it looks like induction for tomorrow.  I'm so excited to meet my very first nephew! :)  And Brendan's future playmate!!  We had fun yesterday; cousin Syndey sat with Brendan while skyping with meme and papa.  Turns out that Big Bird also lives on Clover Lane!  Sydney had a lot of fun watching big bird talk to her on Skype, and Brendan just got hungry.  Speaking of which, he is eating, eating, and eating.  I can't keep up with him right now (the freezer is actually starting to empty!) and I broke down and bought some formula this weekend at Costco.  I should know better by now, being a gastroenterologist and everything, that the Kirkland brand would have sufficed but those people at Mead (makes Enfamil) sure do know how to market.  "closest to breastmilk" they say.  I do actually think that there might be something to the prebiotic supplementation that is in this formula.  It's been pretty surprising how "un-objective" I've been with Brendan--it's hard to be a mommy!

We bought the bumbo for Bren yesterday.  He looks so cute in the seat--and Barley of course, needs to be right next to him.  Here are a couple of pics. 

As soon as everyone wakes up we are headed outside.  Absolutely a gorgeous Colorado day!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

And what a day it's been....

It started off great!  I started the crockpot cornbeef and cabbage (a little unconventional, but more practical than boiling for 3 hours after I got home tonight...) before I left, then I brought Brendan to day care (it was green T-shirt and jeans day), and he was the first one there at 7:20 to start the day.  His teacher, Miss Stacy took him immediately to snuggle.  I just love her!  She's just filling in while they find some other teachers, and her last day is Friday.  It's not going to be a fun day, I can tell already.

Daddy decided that he would be the brave one to pick up Bren today and bring him to his 4 month check up and shots.  He weighed in at 12 lb 10 oz (hard to believe that not too long ago, we brought him home for the first time at 5 lb 4 oz!).  Super!  Still a little guy (3rd%ile for height) but he gained on his weight curve (up from 5th %ile to 15%ile!) and his head is still ginormous at the 75%ile.  Then he decided to scream bloody murder for a while.  The doctor even came in a little early to make sure that everything was OK because she could hear him from outside!  Poor Mike!  Then, he decided to have the mother of all bowel movements, and of course, since Mike picked him up at daycare and brought him straight to the pediatricians, he didn't have the diaper bag, change of clothes, etc.  He pooped everything.  Except his bib.  So, he got his shots (apparently the best part of the visit per Mike) and went home with just a bib on and his jeans. 

Then, he took a long nap and gave Daddy some time to finish up work!  So, by the time I got home, everything was fine :)

I made a few loaves of soda bread last night--one for us, one for our neighbors downstairs (Scott and Donna, who were so helpful when Brendan was born), and one for work.  I labeled the bread at work as "soda bread:  Secret Sullivan family recipe" :)  I can't tell you how many people commented on how tasty the bread was!  The loaf was gone quickly!!!  I couldn't help but think of Mom S. and how she always baked multiple soda breads for everyone--I'm pretty sure she's helping me out which is why they are so very tasty.

We, in other news, are eagerly awaiting the birth of Brendan's new cousin (boy, named to be determined...).  Steph's getting induced on Monday if he's not here by then...yay!  Can't wait to meet the little guy!!

Gotta eat the corned beef now....if it tastes half as good as it looks, we're all in for a real treat. :)

A month has already gone by???

Oops--as I look at my last posting, dated 1/29/10, I realize that it has been almost 1 month since my last post.  It's been a busy month for sure--I've been back at work for 4 weeks.  Meme came to help for the first 2 weeks of the month, because I was on the crazy call schedule again.  Thanks Meme!!  We could not have gotten through those 2 weeks without you!  It was so nice having mom here to help out!  I hope she enjoyed herself too (I think she did!).

Brendan's doing great since coming home from the hospital.  He came off oxygen about 3 weeks ago--it was great not to have to lug the oxygen tank around everywhere!  He went back to daycare 2 weeks ago, and things have gone OK--although now he has another cold :(  And 2 infant teachers and the daycare director left the daycare all of a sudden....not exactly sure why this has happened, and Mike and I are not exactly sure what to do about daycare.  Well, it doesn't matter for tomorrow, because Brendan and I are staying home tomorrow.  He's stuffy enough and coughing a little--kind of resembles the RSV infection that he had now nearly 6 weeks ago (although not as severe; but I'm still pretty gun shy).  So we'll have a nice day home together and hopefully I'll get a lot of work done at home. 

Brendan is still our happy little guy, lots of smiles and coos.  He is looking at things and people more intently and is swatting at his toys and now starting to grab them.  He has discovered his hands and tries to suck on his whole hand--and seems delighted when he finds his thumb.  that's a little easier for him to manage than the whole hand!  He does well on his tummy, holding his head up.  He sleeps through the night (most nights), which is terrific for mommy and daddy!  He still loves the ceiling fan and it continues to just crack him up! 

Here are some more updated pictures....I'll be sure to post a little more frequently! :)

Love, Mike, Jill, and Brendan

Brendan and Barley

Feeling good!

I caught Barley sleeping on the job....

Living at 5,000 feet ain't easy

We are home!!!

Brendan had a great 24 hours--he just about back to his old eating and cheerful self!  My cheeks actually hurt yesterday from trying to keep up with all of his smiling!  He is back on oxygen, though.  It's 1/32 of a liter--I think that's about the equivalent of me blowing in his face every once in a while.  I should add that although I am a pediatrician here in Denver, I am not that familiar with altitude medicine, and as Mike so nicely suggested, I am listening to doctor's orders...so we are here with a portable oxygen tank (which is enough to last him about 200 hours).  They think he'll be on oxygen until Monday as long as he continues to eat well.  Apparently, we still need the GIANT oxygen tank that is to be delivered at any time to our apartment.  This may come in handy as Mike continues to fight his upper respiratory infection (or "man cold" as one of the nurses called it yesterday).  I'm just teasing, Mike, in case you read this.  I know you're not feeling well, and it may actually come in handy having some extra oxygen around.  I digress--back to my little boy.  I hope he's happy to be home, but I'm sure he'll be missing the attention he received from all of the nurses who took such good care of him.  Barley was very excited to see Brendan when he came home today--he kissed him on the forehead.  He's now standing guard next to the crib.

We are excited for Meme to come visit on Friday (2 days!).....and we are so grateful for Brendan's health and that he is now home with us.....

Thank you all for your positive thoughts and prayers!!!

One day closer to home

Brendan had a good night last night--he ate from the bottle well and took in his goal (3 ounces every 3 hours).  The NICU doctors decided that he could do without his feeding tube, so that was pulled today.  He's still on a teensy bit of oxygen, which he'll go home on, but he's nursing and bottle feeding as he wants now.  (He's not on a schedule)  He's still recovering and I think it'll be a little while before he's back to his ravenous self....but he's slowly but surely making progress.

He continues to smile and coo--quite a bit this morning.  There is nothing better than seeing him content and smiling.  All of the nurses say how handsome he is.  Usually I hear "I've seen a lot of babies, and he is SOOO handsome."  or "I just love Brendan--he has such a sweet disposition!"  Whenever I can't be at his bedside, a volunteer, his nurse, or even a former nurse of his will hold him.  Apparently he gets a lot of visitors while I'm away.  :)  I'm glad.  He already has his posse.  By the way, for all of you following Brendan's hair color, I see more red highlights now.  His nurse today (this is her 4th day with Brendan because she keeps requesting him) keeps saying that he has my face and Mike's hair :)  Go red hair!  There's a reason why I married a redhead.....

Last night was kind of funny.  I took a picture of him to send to Mike--I was going to retake it because it looked like he was constipated.  Then he smiled real big, too quickly for me to take another picture with my phone.  I guess I got kind of excited, because then he started crying, like I was mad at him.  That was the first time I've seen him really react to my behavior/expression.  So cute, but I felt so badly!

Hopefully we'll be home tomorrow.  I can't wait to have him back home.  Barley even misses him and has been sleeping in his room every night.

Day 6

We're still in the NICU here in Denver.  Brendan gets a little better everyday, but he is still having some trouble eating and breathing at the same time--just too much for the little guy still.  He was placed back on oxygen about 24 hours after we tried him off, because his heart rate was elevated and his sats were mediocre.  I keep forgetting that we are at such high altitude--it's pretty common here that babies with respiratory infections need some oxygen at home while their lungs recover (even if there is just minor lung injury).  Looks like Brendan's going to be one of those little ones.  And we (including Meme, who is coming on Friday!!) will all have to learn how to work his oxygen at home.  It's a little bit of a bummer, but it's only temporary.

Steph came by to visit yesterday--it was really nice having her.  She held Brendan for a while before she had to return to her own little munchkin. 

Mike is now sick with an upper respiratory infection, so it's just me today at the hospital.  I slipped away a little earlier to get ready for this week...the spring semester starts tomorrow, I have my first clinic in 3 months tomorrow, and we have a busy week ahead of us.  Brendan will obviously be home with us (at least until Meme gets here) for a little while before starting daycare again.  (which I'm not entirely excited about, but we don't, unfortunately, have much choice...I'm not allowed to quit my job :) )

I hope Brendan will be home either tomorrow or Tuesday, but he has to make it 24 hours without wall suction to clear his secretions or gavage (feeding tube) feeds.  So, his discharge will happen when he's ready...hopefully that's soon.

Keep sending prayers and good thoughts our way......

The other side of the bed.

This week, I've realized two things:
1.  I don't like the other side of the bed. 
2.  I've finally accepted that it is really the nurses who run the show. :)

Brendan, in just 6 full days of daycare, managed to come down with RSV.  (Respiratory Syncytial Virus)  He ended up getting pretty sick, and 3 days ago, Mike and I brought him to a local pediatric emergency department for evaluation (poor guy had his first fever of 100.8 and wasn't looking too well).  He was transferred to Children's and admitted to the NICU to take care of his respiratory symptoms.  He has already learned how to raise his mother's blood pressure and scare the crap out of her.  Thankfully I have a phenomenally calm (albeit only in the most dire situations...) husband--between the two of us I think we've done OK.  Mike really is a rock.  I'm really a sap (except when I'm taking care of other people's kids, then I'm much better).

We've been in the NICU for 3 days now, and today he's really come around.  The nurses took Bren off of oxygen today, and he's still holding his own.  He's getting fed primarily through a feeding tube, because he's been too congested to eat and breathe at the same time.  He has started to pick up nursing again today, though, and he should start to get significantly better in the next 24 to 48 hours (when hopefully we're home!)

Being a mother of a sick baby has been a humbling experience to say the least.  Not that I took parents' emotions lightly before Brendan, but it certainly has changed my perspective.  It is the most heart-wrenching thing you could imagine to see your child struggle to breathe and not be able to do much about it.  We both felt terrible about leaving Brendan at night, but I know that we have to take care of ourselves in order to take good care of our little guy.  As I left the hospital last night (for the first time since he was admitted), I missed him terribly--and then I thought of what it must be like to leave this hospital without your child forever.  It took my by surprise that I was even thinking of that, but here we were, exiting one of the top 10 hospitals for children in this country, without our baby.  I know that in just hours we'll be taking him home, and I feel so incredibly lucky.

We are lucky to have such an amazing hospital, literally right in our backyard.  The nurses and doctors have taking extremely good care of Brendan, and the people I work with have been so supportive as well.  We are lucky to have family that cares so much for us, and we feel everyone's presence out here, even though we're so far away.  I have noticed that Brendan has been smiling a lot in his sleep the last day or so, and we're lucky that he has Grandma Sullivan, his own personal extra special guardian angel, watching over him.  The NICU attending was just telling me that he was surprised how quickly little Brendan has recovered--I think that although he is the strongest little baby that has ever lived (he is, after all, Michael Sullivan's son), he has had a lot of help from his family that cares so much about him.

back to work. boo.

I've been back to work for a week now.  It's so hard to believe that I'm done with maternity leave.  It seems literally like yesterday that Mike and I said met Brendan for the first time.  I would be lying if I said that this week has been easy.  Saying goodbye to Brendan on Monday was so hard--I had spent every day with him for the last 11 months, and Monday we had to separate.  I think it's safe to say that Brendan dealt with it a lot better than I did!  I feel lucky to have good support at work, though.  My mentor even revealed that she wrote 3 letters of resignation (drafts, of course) during her first few weeks back to fellowship after having her first son.  Ultimately, I know that work is where I need to be--for the challenge, the adult conversation, etc., etc., but it is so darn hard right now.  I hope it gets easier!!

Mike has been dropping Brendan off at daycare for the most part.  He had a hard time, too, the first day....but when he arrived at daycare, "jeremiah was a bullfrog" was playing.  Mike told me that Aunt June used to play that song on the piano when Mom would drop Mike off at Aunt June's house.  We both knew that Mom was sending us a message--she would keep an extra eye on Brendan while we were away.  (To elaborate on the "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog" song...before we moved to Connecticut Mom used to take me to Aunt June's for CCD or some sort of Sunday School as I remember it. I unfortunately do not remember much about any moral or religious lessons, but I do vividly recall singing "Jerimiah was a Bullfrog" and Aunt June playing it on the the piano. The significance of hearing the song was that when I walked into daycare to drop off Brendan, I immediately traveled back in time and was overcome with the feeling I had as a litle boy when Mom dropped me off at Aunt June's. It caught me off guard, but it made think that my mother was there with Brendan amd me as I took Brendan out of his car seat and put him in his crib for the day.)  Hearing that story gave me an overwhelming sense that Brendan was going to be just fine at daycare....especially with Grandma Sullivan watching over him.  A few days prior, I was at the car wash with Brendan, when a random woman told me that when babies smile in their sleep it's because angels are talking with them.  It's funny--since then, it seems like Brendan does a lot of smiling in his sleep--I like to think that he's listening to his Grandma as she whispers in his ear. 

Last weekend, some friends from VT (Rachel, Seth, Ryan, and Sarah) came to visit.  We spent 4 nights at Breck, and I even mustered up the strength (physically and emotionally) to hit the slopes at Copper.  It felt great to be out, enjoying myself with my friends.  It was a nice break, although it didn't take long before I missed Brendan.  I guess I've become one of those sappy moms--I'm sure Brendan will love it when he's 14. :)  I should just treasure our moments now.....

Anyway, here are some most recent pictures.  I hope you enjoy them!  He's getting to look like a little boy now!!

Brendan reading Uncle James' first article in USA Today!!!

1st day of daycare, 1st outfit!

1st day of daycare, 2nd outfit (sans pee)

It's a smile!!!

Until next time......